


Strangers Like Me

by AlexanderPeterson



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Blood Magic, Ch. 8 NSFW, Illness, M/M, Monogamy Doesn't Exist and I Will Die on This Hill, Past Jeremy/Ryan, Priest Gavin, Priest Jack, Priest Michael, Talks of Blood Magic, Talks of Discrimination re: Witches, Trans Gavin, Trans Male Character, Witch AU, Witch Gavin, Witch Geoff, Witch Ryan, past Jeremy/Gavin, tags will change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:14:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 89,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23733679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexanderPeterson/pseuds/AlexanderPeterson
Summary: Just when Gavin thinks he’s found a balance between his heritage and his calling, a pair of Witches who seem to know more about him than they let on come into his life to show him the world beyond his city walls.***See last chapter for programming note.
Relationships: Gavin Free/Geoff Ramsey, Gavin Free/Jack Pattillo, Gavin Free/Michael Jones, Gavin Free/Ryan Haywood, Gavin Free/Ryan Haywood/Geoff Ramsey, Michael Jones/Geoff Ramsey, Michael Jones/Jack Pattillo, Ryan Haywood/Geoff Ramsey
Comments: 52
Kudos: 136





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hello! I’ve been working on this for a little while now and I’m quite proud of it. Big thanks to my wonderful friends for giving me feedback and encouragement over the last couple months.  
> Couple of notes before I begin, even though most of this doesn’t pop up until later:  
> I’m a trans guy myself, so I use the language I’m personally comfortable with when it comes to  
> anatomy, monogamy is a concept that is lost on me and there are a couple of chapters that deal with some heavy topics. These things aren’t described in great depth, but I’ll still put warnings in the notes.  
> Enjoy!

Gavin’s careful about where he goes in town- staying far from the dark alleyways and dimly lit shops that his parents and his teachers have warned him about. He’s always cautious, almost to a fault, but he’s too curious for his own good and can’t help peeking into dusty windows, jumping when a hand touches his shoulder.

“I wouldn’t go in there if I were you.” The low voice in his ear lights a little spark in his belly and he swallows nervously as he turns.

“I-I wasn’t going to. I was just looking. I was curious.” He stammers out. The man behind him stands just a little taller than he does, his light hair swept back away from stormy blue eyes and an easy, almost lazy, smile tilting his lips.

“Curiosity is dangerous, darling. My, what would your elders think of you being down here with the common folk?” The stranger chuckles, his fingers tracing the chain around his neck, down to a gold medallion resting in the center of his chest. “You’re a long way from your temple, aren’t you?”

“I-” Gavin backs up a pace and reaches up to clutch the pendant, the metal warm against his palm, bringing him some measure of comfort. “I’m allowed to come here. I can go wherever I please.” He argues, trying to keep his voice from shaking.

“Mmhmm. And what is your name,  _ vähän valoa _ ?” The stranger tucks a finger under his chin to lift his head and look into his eyes.

“Do they not teach manners where you come from?” He huffs. “It’s only polite to offer your name before asking for someone else’s.” The other man laughs at that and puts a hand over his heart, bowing deeply.

“Ryan Haywood. At your service.”

“Gavin Free.” He gives his name with a bit of hesitation. There’s something  _ unnatural _ about Ryan that he doesn’t trust.

“Beautiful name for a beautiful little Witch.”

“I’m not a-”

“You don’t need to lie to me.” Ryan rolls up his sleeve a little to show a tattoo on his forearm that glows a deep purple before grabbing Gavin’s arm and pushing his sleeve up as well- his own marks glowing gold. “How did they get a pretty thing like you to agree to life locked in a temple?” He coos, brushing his thumb over the mark and taking a step in closer.

“You have nerve, Mr. Haywood.” Gavin snaps, yanking his arm away and fixing his clothes, standing a little taller and squaring his shoulders defiantly.

“And you have fire in you, don’t you?” Ryan’s smile is more off-putting than anything and it sends a shiver down Gavin’s spine. “Tell me why you live in a place that stifles you so.” Ryan drags his knuckles down his cheek softly- the touch leaving a cold tingle in its wake.

“I’m not stifled.” He insists, taking a step back that Ryan matches. “I- I chose to live in the temple. I thought it the best way to serve-”

“They should be serving  _ you _ dear one.” Ryan leans in a little closer and Gavin’s heart jumps into his throat. Somewhere down the street, there’s a sharp whistle and Ryan looks up before whistling back. “I have to go. Come back here and find me tomorrow. I can show you a world beyond your temple.” Gavin freezes when Ryan’s lips touch his cheek. Before he can get his wits about him- the Witch is gone, blended into the crowd with an ease that he almost envies. He stands out like a sore thumb here in the commons, in crisp white and gold. Ryan’s attire had been darker, clean and well fitted, but tattered in a way that was almost artful. It could have come from another temple. Maybe one further east or from the lowlands of the south. He hangs onto the memory of the shape of Ryan’s tattoo- he feels like he’s seen it before and resolves to search for it back in the temple’s library.

“Gavin? You’re late. Did something happen?” It’s almost dark when he finally returns home to the temple, exhaustion making him slump and drag his feet. He looks up at the gentle, familiar voice of Jack- his former teacher and one of his most trusted friends.

“No, no. Just got a little sidetracked today is all.” He lies with ease. “Took a new route through the commons and stayed a little too long looking at the shops.” Jack smiles, cupping his cheek with one large hand. He leans into the touch with a grateful sigh, Jack’s warmth finally chasing away the cool tingle from Ryan’s touch that’s stayed with him all afternoon.

“You missed dinner, but I can get you something from the kitchens if you’re hungry.”

“Ever the caretaker, aren’t you Jack?” Gavin laughs and smiles fondly.

“Of course.” Jack moves his hand to his shoulder and leads him off, deeper into the temple and out of the cold darkness that creeps up the stairs.

“Say, Jack.” He lowers his voice as they walk, but it still echoes in the long empty halls. “Have you ever met anyone else… Like me?” He rubs his arm- his  _ marks _ \- through his sleeve and the motion does not go unnoticed.

“A few. Why do you ask?” Jack looks down at him, concerned.

“Just wondering. I think… I think I met someone in the commons. A- A traveling merchant.”  _ This _ lie lays bitter on his tongue. “I caught a glimpse of  _ something _ on his arm. It was in the same place as my mark but I’ve never seen the shape before.”

“Did he say where he was from?”

“No but… He called me something. I don’t know the language.  _ Vähän vaola _ .” He stumbles over the words a bit, his lips and tongue protesting the unfamiliar shapes they need to form. Jack stops in his tracks and grabs his wrist.

“Where did you see this man?”

“Just- just down in the commons. I- I couldn’t tell you the name of the street but I would know it if I saw it. Why? What did he say?”

“It’s not what he said. It’s the language he used.” Jack frowns. “Did he say anything else?” Gavin bites his tongue and shakes his head.

“Where is he from?”

“The lowlands in the south kingdom.” He chews his lip- an uncharacteristic show of nerves. “You should stay away from that part of the commons for now… Just to be safe.” Jack smiles again, gentle and comforting before patting Gavin on the shoulder softly and carrying on towards the kitchens.

“Why’s that?” Gavin hurries to match his stride. “All I hear of the southlands are rumors of darkness. No one seems to want to tell me the truth.” Jack doesn’t answer him, not right away- not until he looks around to make sure they’re alone.

“They aren’t rumors Gavin. We’ve had nothing but conflict from the southlands for as long as our temple has stood. Their god is one of darkness- of war and famine and the things that crawl through nightmares.” Gavin’s blood runs cold and he wraps his fingers around his pendant again, searching for the warmth it brings. “Witches from that region are particularly powerful. No matter which gods they serve. Please, Gavin.  _ Promise _ me you won’t go back there.”

“I-I promise Jack.” He breathes, his heart racing behind his ribs. “I’ll stay to the edge of the commons from now on.”

“Thank you.” When Jack leans down to kiss his forehead, every cold thought and every ounce of fear that had started bubbling up in Gavin’s chest leaves him- replaced by warm, familiar comfort.

After eating with Jack with lighter conversation, Gavin excuses himself to his room, walking along the halls of the temple in silence, trying to ignore the way the shadows cast by the torches that light his way seem to twist and turn into gruesome shapes. He shakes himself as he opens his door and nearly screams when somebody grabs him from behind, covering his mouth. He opens his mouth- whether to bite or to try to scream for help he doesn’t know. But before he can make up his mind a familiar laugh comes from behind him and he throws his elbow back to get free.

“ _ Michael _ !” His voice echoes in the hall, high and indignant as Michael laughs, holding his side.

“You’re so  _ easy _ Gavvy!” He snickers and Gavin pouts at him.

“You’re awful.” He huffs, giving the other priest a shove to get by him, shrugging out of his cloak and hanging it carefully. Michael’s already dressed down for bed, and the late hour finally catches up with Gavin. He sits heavily on the edge of his bed, rubbing his temples and trying to fend off the headache that starts creeping up on him.

“Are you alright?” Michael sits next to him, even warmer than Jack, and puts an arm around his shoulders. “I’m just playing, you know that. I’d never hurt you…” He whispers.

“I know- I know. Just… Just had a long day is all…” He sighs. “I met someone in the commons.” Here behind his locked door with Michael beside him, he should feel safer-  _ bolder _ . More apt to speak his mind. But the shadows still twist around each other and draw his thoughts back to Ryan- back to dark alleyways and dusty store windows- and his tongue sits heavy in his mouth, unwilling to even tell his best friend about his encounter.

“What is it?” He can feel Michael’s eyes following him as he stands again to get undressed, trying to push his unease down deep. “Gavvy?” The gentle hand on his bare shoulder makes him stop and turn. “Your marks…” Michael’s fingertips trail down his arm, something close to awe in his eyes. “I’ve never seen them so bright.”

“It’s nothing. I’m just tired. Trying to keep myself up.” Another bitter lie.

“No you’re not.” Michael was always much better at calling his bluff than lovely, trusting Jack. “What happened in the commons? You can tell me.”

“I met another Witch.” Gavin’s voice shakes and Michael’s eyes go wide. “One from the southlands.”

“ _ What? _ ” Michael grabs his hand. “Are- Are you okay? Where was he?”

“Near the deep road.”

“Did you tell Jack?”

“I told him part of it… I- I had to lie a little though.” The truth is more bitter than the lie and rests heavy on his shoulders. “He asked if he said anything to me and I told him no but… H-He asked me to meet him again.” Michael gasps quietly and squeezes his hand tight.

“Are you going to?”

“I don’t know. I promised Jack I would stay away from that part of town but I-” He licks his lips nervously. “I kind of…  _ want _ to see him again.”

“That’s crazy. Gavvy he’s from the  _ southlands _ . He’s got to be dangerous, right?”

“Maybe. That’s the thing though- I’ve been  _ here _ my whole life. I’ve been  _ sheltered _ and lied to. I- I’ve never met another Witch. Not one like him. I’m curious, Michael.”

“Curiosity is dangerous, Gavin.”

“That’s what Ryan said…” Gavin mutters.

“He told you his name? Did you tell  _ that _ to Jack?”

“No. I couldn’t bring myself to. I’ve never seen Jack  _ angry _ before…” Gavin moves around the room slowly, picking up a little bit and trying to put things back the way he likes them. Michael moves his things too often. “I guess he wasn’t really angry though. Just worried.  _ Scared _ even.”

“You should be scared too. What if you don’t go to meet him and he comes looking for you?” Michael paces around him and he does his best to ignore his almost manic energy.

“I don’t think he will.” Gavin runs a hand back through his hair then touches his cheek- a little spark of  _ something _ on his fingertips. Ryan’s magic, perhaps. “He didn’t seem like he meant me any harm, really.”

“How can you know for sure though?” Michael’s concern hits him right in the heart and he smiles a little, reaching out to cup his face in his hands gently.

“I’ll be careful, I promise.” He assures him, leaning in to kiss him softly. Michael doesn’t have magic, not the same way he does, but there’s still a little spark when their lips meet. “If you tell me not to go, I won’t.”

“Don’t go…” Michael whispers against his lips. “Please. I don’t- I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you…”

“I won’t go then. I’ll stay away.” He promises, running his hands up and down Michael’s arms slowly, trying to give him some sort of comfort.

“Thank you.” Michael leans in to give him one more kiss before turning to go back to his bed. “Get some sleep Gavvy.” He yawns.

Sleep comes quickly for Michael, it always does, and soon Gavin’s left laying in his bed just staring up at the ceiling and trying to will his mind to stop racing while his friend snores quietly in the next bed. He rolls over and curls in on himself, bringing the covers up over his head in a desperate attempt to block out the dim light of the fireplace and trying to get comfortable. Between the crackle of the flames and Michael’s deep breathing there’s too much noise. It’s never gotten to him like this before, but now he throws the covers back and sits straight up, holding in a frustrated little whine.

“Michael?” He whispers, pausing for a moment before getting out of bed. He shivers when his feet touch the cold stone floor and he sneaks across the room to pull his cloak from the wall, then over to the door. “I’ll be right back.” He knows he doesn’t have to say so, but he feels better about sneaking out when he does.

Half of the torches in the hall have been extinguished, and now the shadows feel even deeper. He could swear their quiet crackles were whispers drawing him in and somehow he loses track of himself until a  _ real _ voice snaps him back.

“What are you doing up?” Gavin whips around and lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding when he sees Fiona behind him.

“I could ask you the same thing.” He shoots back.

“I’m getting ready for that trip I’m taking with Lindsay tomorrow. Last minute packing you know.” She frowns when she gets closer to him. “You look dead on your feet Gavin. Why are you up?” She asks again.

“Couldn’t sleep.” He sighs, running a hand down his face. “I think… I think I was going to get some tea.” He murmurs.

“The kitchen’s the other way.” Fiona looks up at him, confusion joining the concern in her eyes.

“Oh-” Is all Gavin can manage, looking around and realizing where he is. “I- I suppose it is.” He laughs a little. “Must be more tired than I realized. Have a safe trip tomorrow.”

“The gods will protect us.” Fiona gives him a half smile as she turns to leave him. “Good night Gavin.”

“Good night Fiona…” He watches her go with dread prickling at the back of his mind. He’s never been one to just  _ wander _ like this. Not in the middle of the night anyway. He shakes his head to get rid of the little whispers in the dark and turns for the kitchens, deciding that maybe some tea  _ will _ do him good. Now he’s on alert, counting sconces along the wall and listening for more footsteps in the temple to keep himself occupied. There’s no one else in the halls, or in the kitchen to disturb him and his mind starts to wander again as he waits for water to boil on the stove. How bad could it  _ really _ be if he went to see Ryan again? Surely no one would know. Especially if he left early enough in the morning, didn’t wear his robes…

“No…” He mutters out loud to himself. “I promised Jack and Michael…”

‘ _ But they don’t understand. Ryan might. _ ’ Some treacherous part of his brain whispers back. He supposes it’s true. Michael and Jack are priests, and powerful in their own way, but they aren’t  _ Witches _ . They’d never really be able to understand the pull that he felt to be  _ free _ . But Ryan… Ryan said that he could show him a world beyond his temple… The sudden whistle of the kettle makes him jump- and he remembers the whistle that had drawn Ryan away. Could there be another Witch with him? What were  _ they _ like? He pours himself a cup and sits up on the counter, sipping slowly and letting the warmth seep into his bones while he thinks. It couldn’t be that bad…

  
  


The next morning dawns brighter than the one before but Gavin has to drag himself out of bed. Michael’s already up, in the middle of getting dressed when he finally gets to his feet.

“Where did you get off to last night?” Michael gives him a  _ look _ that he hates.

“Couldn’t sleep. Went to get tea.” He gestures at the cup on the table next to his bed and yawns.

“Don’t lie to me. Where else did you go?”

“Nowhere! Honest! Well- not nowhere I suppose, but I didn’t leave the temple.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Michael crosses his arms over his chest and Gavin stumbles over his words.

“I- I don’t know. I was on my way to the kitchen but I just… Lost track of myself I guess. Blacked out or something. Ask Fiona. She snapped me out of it. I was in the east wing.” The look Michael’s giving him doesn’t change and it  _ hurts _ . “I’m not lying Michael… I promise.” He whispers.

“Fine. Better take that back to the kitchen before someone notices it’s gone.” Michael straightens his clothes one last time in the mirror before he leaves the bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Gavin winces and moves around slowly, his muscles sore and joints stiff. He freezes when he reaches for the pendant he usually wears but doesn’t feel it on the dresser. His heart drops into his stomach as he gets down on his knees to look under the dresser, then his bed for any little flash of gold and he feels bile rising up in his throat when he doesn’t see it.

“Michael!” He calls frantically down the hall, stepping out of their shared room. Even if he’s angry, Michael turns and starts back towards him.

“What?” The anger on his face softens to worry when he gets closer. “Gavin?”

“I-It’s gone.” He stammers, reaching up to his chest where the pendant would usually sit and trying to hold back tears.

“You put it in it’s usual spot right?” Michael brushes by him and scans the room.

“‘Course I did! You saw me take it off right?”

“I didn’t see you take it off, but I know you were wearing it when you came home.” Michael mumbles, getting down to look under his own bed, then Gavin’s. “Did you put it back on when you went to the kitchen?”

“I- I don’t remember. I don’t think I did. Have Fiona and Lindsay left yet?”

“I don’t think so. Why?”

“Fiona saw me last night. She might remember if I was wearing it.” Gavin heads for the door again but Michael stops him.

“Get dressed first. We’ve got time.”

“O-Okay…” Gavin can’t stop shaking and eventually Michael grabs his hands and pulls them away from his belt.

“Let me.” He whispers. “It’s okay. We’ll find it, I promise.” He offers up a little smile as he finishes straightening Gavin’s clothes, and that gives him a little comfort. “Come on. Let’s go talk to Fiona and check the kitchen.”

Gavin follows along, quiet and nervous, scanning the hall for any sign of his necklace. Jack had given it to him before he even came to live in the temple- a little token of his affection at the time. And while that affection has changed to friendship, Gavin still treasures the medallion. Michael had added his own blessing to it as well, and it became a reminder that he had a home here, no matter what some people seemed to think. He tries not to let the anger he has towards himself fester into something more ugly the longer they go without finding it, but there’s a deep self loathing that starts to creep up his throat, threatening to choke him.

“Gavvy?” He stops when Michael calls out to him, and looks around- he’s in the east wing again, with Michael staring at him.

“I-”

“Is this where you came last night?”

“Yeah.” He whispers, looking around at the floors, then the windowsills until he catches a glint of gold a few windows down. “There!” He rushes to the window and stops short. “I don’t… I don’t understand.”

“What is it?” Michael asks, coming up beside him. He just points. His necklace is on the little ledge on the  _ outside _ of the window. “How the hell?” He mutters. “Did you open the window?”

“I don’t remember. It wasn’t open when Fiona and I talked. Do you think I came back here after I went to the kitchen?”

“Maybe. But  _ why _ ?” Michael eases him out of the way to force the window open and reaches out to grab the chain. “Why here?”

“I don’t know.” Gavin takes his necklace back with shaking hands, slipping the long chain over his head quickly and pressing the pendant against his heart with a long, deep breath. When he looks out the window he does his best not to shiver, feeling like he’s being watched. “Thank you for helping me Michael.” He drags his eyes away from the shadows in the garden and leans in to kiss Michael quickly.

“I didn’t really help much. I just followed you.” Michael frowns. “You should tell Jack. He might know what’s wrong.”

“I was just exhausted last night. Must have done a little sleepwalking.” He tries to laugh it off, but there’s a shake in his voice that he can’t hide. It’s clear that Michael hears it, but he doesn’t argue- just gives his hand a little squeeze.

“You should still talk to him. He’ll want to know.”

“I will love. Promise.” With his one prized possession back, Gavin’s mood lifts immeasurably. “I’ll see you later tonight, yeah?”

“Yeah. Be safe today.” There’s something else that Michael doesn’t say, but Gavin knows what it is anyway. He  _ wants _ to remind him to not go looking for Ryan.

“Always safe.” He kisses Michael’s cheek before he turns to leave. “Love you!” He calls over his shoulder, smiling when Michael rolls his eyes.

“Love you too.” He grins, waving him away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back!

Walking back down into the commons Gavin straightens himself up- smiles at familiar passers-by and gives quick little prayers when he’s asked. He’s trying to distract himself. Maybe if he gets wrapped up in his work he’ll forget about Ryan and his handsome blue eyes.

‘ _ Handsome? _ ’ He huffs out a little laugh at his own expense and carries on. Though now that he thinks about the other Witch again he’s forced to admit that  _ yes _ he thought he was handsome. And he’d looked so strong too. Like he could have picked him up and carried him off- or pinned him down and-...

He stops in the middle of the street, his hand coming back up to hold the pendant around his neck again as he tries to catch his breath and force back the blush he can feel rising on his cheeks. Where had  _ that _ thought come from? He looks around and tries to keep moving, tries to keep ignoring the thoughts of Ryan- electing to replace them with thoughts of Michael. It’s not like they’ve taken vows of celibacy after all. They’ve ended up in bed together a fair few number of times.

‘ _ Lovely Michael… _ ’ He thinks, smiling fondly to himself. ‘ _ Sweet, soft, lovely Michael. _ ’ He chances a glance up at the sun and sighs, content. It’s not even midday yet- still plenty of time before he has to head home. Plenty of time to pick up something nice for Michael and Jack. An apology for his strange behavior, and a thank you for putting up with it.

“ _ Witch _ .” Gavin stumbles when somebody knocks into him, spitting at his feet, and he just ducks his head- trying to make himself smaller and slip away. “I’m talking to you  _ Witch _ .” This time he’s pulled to a stop by his arm and he makes a small noise of protest. “You gone mute now boy? Hm?” He grits his teeth and does his best not to look away from the man that leers at him.

“No.” He forces out. “How can I help you?” He’s a priest now for god’s sake. He thought that people would leave him be.

“Get out of my town. We don’t want  _ your kind _ here.”

“That’s enough of that.” As if he’d called them down from the heavens himself, Fiona and Lindsay push through the small crowd that has gathered around them- he’s pleased that most people seem to be on his side. “Gavin is as much a priest of our temple as Jack is.” Fiona spits. There’s venom in her voice. She’s never taken kindly to the people who speak ill of him.

“But he’s-!”

“A valuable member of our society?” Lindsay’s voice is just as cold- and her name carries weight here. She’s one of the most decorated knights in the city. “Enough. Go stick your head in the sand if you don’t like it.” She gives the man a long steely look that, ultimately, sends him back down the street.

“You didn’t have to do that.” Gavin murmurs, but both women smile brightly at him- bringing a smile to his face whether he wants it or not.

“Of course we did!” Fiona slings an arm around his shoulders.

“Yeah come on Gavin! You’re our friend. Why wouldn’t we stick up for you? Michael and Jack would do the same, wouldn’t they?”

“Well yeah but-”

“No buts. We love you Gav.” Fiona gives him one last squeeze. “Stay out of trouble until we get home.” She teases over her shoulder as she and Lindsay carry on down the street, leaving him behind. He’s relieved to see that most of the people that had gathered up have already gone back to their own business and he sighs, trying to decide where to go next. He wants to be off of this street.

A sharp whistle catches his attention and he whips around, searching the crowd and ignoring the strange looks he gets. There’s no way he’s the only one who heard it, but nobody else seems to acknowledge it- even when a second whistle, the answer to the first, comes from down another street. A third sounds off and Gavin freezes. This one feels close. He ducks down the next side street he comes to and just  _ walks _ . He doesn’t have the faintest idea where his feet are taking him, but it doesn’t matter much. He knows the commons well enough that he isn’t afraid of getting lost, even in the deeper parts of the city.

When Gavin finally looks up properly he licks his lips nervously. He’s gone too far this time. He doesn’t know this street- not well at least, but when he looks around he gets a better grip on his bearings. He can see his temple in the distance, the sun just starting to peek up over the spire. Nearly noon. Off to his other side, the forest calls to him and his heart  _ aches _ to follow its voice. But he knows better by now. If he were to wander off in the woods alone, Michael would be furious. Maybe they could take a trip out with Lindsay soon… 

Something else catches his eye though- a flash of gold in a shop window. When he takes a step in to get a closer look he notices a little mark drawn in the dust on the window and frowns as he kneels down. It’s the same mark he’d seen on Ryan’s arm the day before. A chill grips him and he stands, perhaps a little too quickly, stumbling from the rush that hits him.

“Careful darling.” Gavin almost yelps when he hits a solid chest and strong hands catch him around the waist. “You came.” His breath catches in his throat when he turns around to see Ryan smiling down at him. Today it seems warmer, more genuine.

“I- I didn’t mean to.” He stammers out then bites his tongue when Ryan’s smile fades a little. “I mean- I was told not to come…”

“Why’s that?”

“You’re from the lowlands in the southern kingdom, aren’t you?”

“Originally. What lies have they fed you?” Ryan frowns, wiping a smear of dirt from Gavin’s cheek with his thumb.

“They- I’ve always been told that the lowlands were dangerous… That the people  _ from _ there are dangerous.” Gavin wants to take a step back but finds that he can’t. “What did you do to me?”

“I haven’t done anything to you.”

“Yesterday. You- You had to have… I was- I was sleepwalking last night. I don’t sleepwalk.” He insists, panic creeping up his throat.

“I give you my word  _ vähän vaola _ … I did nothing to you.” Ryan at least has the decency to look concerned when he lies.

“What are you calling me?” Gavin demands, finally finding his feet and stepping away, ignoring the hurt he sees in Ryan’s eyes.

“Little light.” He reaches out again and takes Gavin’s hand in his own, gentle and warm in a way he hadn’t expected. “Will you follow me?” Gavin looks to the spire, chewing his lip nervously. It’s nearly noon. Nearly time for afternoon prayers. He’s expected to be there but- Ryan’s holding his hand and looking at him expectantly and… 

“I can’t be out past dark.” He finally murmurs, looking over his shoulder to make sure he isn’t being watched. “Promise me I’ll be home by then.” When he looks back up at Ryan the look he sees in his eyes makes him uneasy.

“You won’t regret it.” Ryan starts to walk away, holding on to his hand to pull him along, but Gavin stays put.

“Promise me.” He demands, tugging his hand away.

“You have my word.” Ryan puts a hand over his heart, but looks down the street nervously. “Now come along. Before you’re spotted.” Gavin only hesitates a moment before he follows Ryan down an alley. “Here.” The other Witch pulls the dark cloak from around his shoulders and hands it out as he peers around a corner. “Cover your face.”

“Why?”

“There’s another priest coming this way. You said you were told not to come. I’m not looking to get you in trouble.” He mutters. Gavin doesn’t know whether to be grateful for the concern or annoyed as he settles the thick fabric over his shoulders and pulls the hood up over his head.

“Who is it?”

“Well I don’t exactly know their names.” Ryan gives him an exacerbated sigh and a roll of his eyes and Gavin elbows him out of the way to look around him. “Someone you know?” The sarcasm that drips from Ryan’s tongue is almost enough for Gavin to toss the cloak back at him and tell him to shove off- but seeing Jack strolling down the street stops him in his tracks.

“We need to go.  _ Now _ .” He gasps, reaching for Ryan’s hand.

“Keep yourself covered up. Don’t let him see your robes.” Ryan whispers, putting a hand on his shoulder and leading him down the next alley casually. “Just keep walking.” Gavin winces when Ryan whistles twice- high and sharp, like his call the day before.

“What is that?” He lowers his voice further when he asks after a return of one single whistle.

“I have a friend. It’s so we can find each other. And to let the other know if we’re alone or if we have a guest.”

“This friend of yours. Is he-?”

“Yes. And the man we just saw. Is he the one who told you to stay away?”

“One of them.” Under the cloak, Gavin wraps his fingers around the pendant around his neck. “Your friend won’t mind me being around?”

“He’ll  _ adore _ you darling.” Ryan starts humming a little tune as they walk and it sparks a little memory somewhere deep inside Gavin. But he doesn’t say anything- just chews his lip and runs his fingers along the edge of his pendant. He knows he’s heard it before- perhaps just in passing. Although. He doesn’t know why it would make him cry if he’d just heard it in passing. “Are you alright  _ vähän vaola _ ?” Ryan stops him and swipes his thumb gently over a tear trailing down his cheek.

“Of course I am.” Gavin snaps, waving Ryan’s hand away and wiping at his tears himself.

“If you want to go back you can.”

“I- no. It’s not that.” He starts walking again, not sure exactly which way to go until Ryan catches up with him and guides him to the left. He’s not entirely sure of where he is and looks again for the spire of the temple. As long as he can see that- he knows he can find his way home. “That song you were humming. What is it?”

“Hmm? Oh- just a song from the village I came from. Why do you ask?” Now to the right and through a gap in the city wall where Gavin hesitates.

“I’ve heard it somewhere.” He doesn’t step over the rubble just yet and Ryan holds out a hand to help him. “How- how much further?” He asks, looking back over his shoulder at the spire.

“Not far. I promise.” Ryan motions for him to come… But he’s still stuck to the spot.

“I haven’t… I haven’t been outside the city walls in…  _ Years _ .” He breathes, afraid to make any noise here.

“Come along.” Ryan steps all the way back over and puts an arm around his shoulders to lead him up and over. “See the house there? That’s where we live. You can even see the spire from the front window.” He soothes. Gavin just nods and follows him into the shadows, trying to hide the fact that he’s shaking like a leaf.

“Is it always so  _ cold _ here?” He complains, pulling Ryan’s cloak a little tighter around his shoulders, his teeth chattering.

“It’s cruel outside those walls.” Ryan mutters with a reproachful look over his shoulder.

“How did I beat you home?” Gavin looks up sharply and Ryan turns with a raised eyebrow when a new voice calls out to them lazily from the front door of the small home where another man leans easily against the wall.

“You’ve always been quicker than me.” Ryan chuckles reaching up to touch the other man’s cheek and accepting the pat he gets in return.

“Who’s your friend?” Gavin feels himself shrink back from the intense blue gaze of Ryan’s companion but straightens up when Ryan puts a hand on the small of his back.

“Geoffrey, this is Gavin. Gavin, Geoff.” He smiles a little- soft but unsettling and Gavin suppresses another shiver, looking back towards the city, his heart plummeting when he only sees the barest hint of the spire. He’s too far. He shouldn’t have come here. He slowly comes to the horrible realization that this could have all been a trap. Two Witches from the southlands luring a Priest of the Sun out into the forest where no one would be able to hear him scream -

“We’re not going to hurt you.” Geoff chuckles. “Gods Ryan, what have you said to the poor boy?”

“He hasn’t- how did you-?”

“Call it intuition.” Geoff just gives him a wink and a lazy smile.

“Modesty doesn’t suit you.” Ryan brushes past Geoff easily to open the door. “Come along Gavin. There’s a lot you need to hear and I don’t have much time.” Geoff lets him pass first and follows him slowly into the house, shutting the door quietly behind him.

There’s a moment where the room Gavin finds himself in is almost completely dark, cold seeping into his bones as the shadows seem to reach out for him. As he reaches out with one hand to catch himself against a table and up with the other to hold on to his necklace, Geoff claps twice behind him and the hearth springs to life. Ryan laughs and reaches out to take his cloak back from Gavin- lights flickering in small jars along the wall.

“Gods above Ryan-” Geoff gasps and Gavin turns to face him, surprised to see something close to  _ fear _ in his eyes. “What have you done.” The fear is replaced by anger in the blink of an eye as Geoff closes in on Ryan, grabbing him by the arm so harshly that Gavin winces. It’s sure to leave a bruise.

“He’s alright Geoff. Gavin. Show him.” Ryan nods at him and Gavin stares back, confused for a moment before it hits him. He pushes up his sleeve quickly to show the marks up his forearm and Geoff’s grip on Ryan goes slack, as does his jaw, his eyes darting from the marks up to his eyes.

“But… How are you-?”

“A priest?” Gavin snaps and rolls his sleeve back down. He’s been asked the same question a few too many times in the commons.

“Well… Yes. Last I heard they rejected our kind here.”

“Some people do. But it seems they’re fine with it at the temple.”

“That’s because you were never trained.” Ryan gives him a look that borders on…  _ pity _ and Gavin grits his teeth.

“How do you know?”

“You think I can’t tell the difference between someone who actually knows how to use their magic and someone who doesn’t?” Ryan raises an eyebrow at him. “It’s nothing for you to be ashamed of. You probably didn’t know you were a Witch until you came to this city did you?”

“I-” Gavin trips on his words.

“And by then they were able to mold you. They told you that your power needed to be contained. Brought you to the temple to keep you occupied.” Ryan circles around to stand in front of him and runs his hands down his arms gently. “Oh darling… You were never given a chance to shine were you?”

“I… I suppose I wasn’t. I learned  _ some _ magic on my own. Just little things. Something to keep me awake longer, how to keep myself warm… I can-” His voice catches. “How do you know this?”

“Because it almost happened to me. But Geoff found me before they could twist me into something I wasn’t.” Ryan’s lips twitch up in a little smile. “I have no doubt you’re a wonderful priest. But that isn’t all you have to be.” He gives his shoulders a gentle squeeze. “Do you want to be more?”

“What do you mean?” Gavin breathes. Ryan’s so  _ close _ now and he’s sure the other Witch can hear his heart racing.

“Let me show you what they hid from you  _ vähän vaola. _ ” One of Ryan’s hands comes up to cup his cheek and Gavin’s breath hitches. He can almost see his own reflection in his eyes and can feel his breath against his lips now. One part of him wants to run. Wants to run from the cottage as fast as he can- back to the temple where Jack and Michael are surely waiting for him… But there’s something else. He can feel Ryan’s magic now, he’s sure that’s what this must be. And he wants a taste of that power… Ryan smiles when he nods slowly, breathless.

“Show me.” He murmurs, stepping in closer and feeling the heat of Ryan’s chest against his own before lips meet his and he gasps softly.


	3. Chapter 3

Kissing Ryan is so, so different from kissing Michael. There’s a  _ heat _ behind it that takes his breath away and makes his knees weak. And there’s something else- there’s a tingle that starts at his lips and works its way all the way down to his toes and makes his marks  _ burn _ .

“Look at you.” Ryan murmurs when he pulls away, taking one of Gavin’s hands in his own and pushing his sleeve up to show the way his marks glow. “So beautiful.”

“Can- can I see yours?” He asks softly, looking up at him. Ryan chuckles and rolls up his own sleeve, showing beautiful dark purple marks that twist and wind up his arm starting at his wrist and Gavin can only  _ imagine _ how far they spread. Geoff snickers off to the side and Gavin raises an eyebrow at him curiously. “What’s funny?”

“Nothing nothing.” Geoff muffles a laugh behind his hand and Ryan fixes him with a hard stare.

“Knock it off Geoffrey. Leave him alone.”

“I’m not doing anything!” Geoff insists, still laughing.

“You think I can’t see it? Get out of his head.”

“Get out of my- what? Ryan what’s going on?”

“I have a particular set of skills. I can’t exactly read your mind but I can feel you.” Geoff’s sharp blue eyes roam over him slowly and he takes a step closer. “I can see little flashes.” Despite himself, Gavin wonders about Geoff’s power- how his hands would feel on him, and Geoff smirks. “ _ Really _ now.”

“Geoff.” There’s something close to a growl in Ryan’s voice- something  _ dark _ and  _ possessive _ that makes Gavin shiver. “That’s  _ enough _ .”

“Sorry, sorry.” Geoff puts his hands up in surrender and sighs. “So what do you want to know Gavin?”

“Well…  _ Everything _ I guess. I-I mean- Jack and Michael have told me a little bit, but it’s all second hand knowledge… I’ve barely spoken to other Witches…”

“Well ‘everything’ is a high order darling.” Ryan frowns a little and sits, motioning for him to do the same. “I guess, let’s just start small. What do you know how to do?”

“Just a few small things.” Gavin looks down at his hands. “Light, obviously. I can- I can… There’s not much…”

“How about fire?”

“I can light a candle.” Gavin huffs, crossing his arms, trying to hide his embarrassment.

“Show me.” Ryan smiles at him and pushes a candle across the table to him. Gavin looks between Geoff and Ryan and the candle and takes a slow breath in, focusing on the warmth he can feel from the fire in the hearth. He passes his hand over the candle and smiles when the little flame flickers to life easily under his palm.

“It’s a good start.” Geoff hums thoughtfully and Gavin beams with pride. He knows it’s not much, but he’s worked hard to learn on his own, and both of the older Witches look proud. “Try picking it up.”

“What?”

“Like this.” Geoff reaches out for the candle and Gavin finally gets a good look at the intricate tattoos on his hands and forearms. There’s a dull pulse of light from the ink- so brief that Gavin wouldn’t have noticed if he weren’t staring so intently- and the little flame from the candle jumps to his fingertips. He watches the flame dart from finger to finger, weaving between them like a little living creature as Geoff turns his hand around to accommodate it, until it finally settles in his palm.

“Give it here.” Ryan chuckles, holding out his own hand and smiling when Geoff tips the fire into his hand as easily as a palmful of water. The little flame skitters around Ryan’s hand and up his wrist and he scoops it into his other hand before it can touch his clothing. “Roll up your sleeves.” Gavin obeys quickly, pushing his sleeves to his elbows- the marks up his arm flickering bright. “Careful now.” Ryan cradles his hand gently in one of his own and lets the flame roll down into his waiting palm.

“It- It doesn’t hurt.” Gavin can’t keep the wonder out of his voice and Ryan laughs a little.

“Of course not. It’s yours.” He smiles gently.

“How do you mean?”

“Well you made it. Not often can something made by your own magic hurt you.”

“I was always told-” At the reproachful look Geoff shoots him, Gavin shuts his mouth.

“Geoff.” Ryan sighs. “Be  _ nice _ . He doesn’t know any better. Besides, it  _ is _ possible to hurt yourself.” Something about his appearance shifts and Gavin blinks. It has to have been a trick of the light- right? But Ryan catches him staring and smiles sadly, taking the flame from his hand and putting it back where it belongs on the candle.

“ _ Du trenger ikke… _ ” Geoff murmurs, putting a hand over Ryan’s.

“ _ Ja, det gjør jeg. Han trenger å vite det. _ ” Gavin doesn’t know what they’re saying- but something about the words, much like the little tune Ryan was humming in the commons- feels almost  _ familiar _ . “Magic can go very,  _ very _ wrong, Gavin.” Ryan takes his hand again and he shivers. The warmth that he’d begun to associate with Ryan’s magic goes cold-  _ bone chillingly _ cold- and his face and arm change. Inky blackness creeps up his arm from his fingertips, Gavin can’t follow the path as it goes up under his sleeve but soon it crawls up his neck and over part of his face, his eye glowing the same purple as his marks.

“What- What happened?” He breathes. He can’t help but stare, though he hates himself for doing it.

“I got too ambitious.” Ryan clears his throat and the illusion he’d let fall slips back into place. “I lost control.” Geoff rubs the side of his neck almost absently and Gavin notices a scar there. “I um… I really hurt people because I just… I lost sight of what I was trying to do.”

“What were you trying to do?” Gavin’s heart races and fear grips him by the throat. Again, he wants to run.

“He was trying to save me.” Geoff looks down at the table, tracing a deep scratch in the wood with shaking fingers.

“I  _ did _ save you.” Ryan mutters.

“At what cost?”

“Just the lives of the bastards that tried to take you from me. A small price to pay if you ask me.” Ryan huffs, standing suddenly from the table. “Come along Gavin. You’re going to be late getting home as it is. I don’t want you to get into trouble.” He grabs his cloak off the wall again and wraps it around Gavin’s shoulders with a surprising amount of tenderness, given his harsh movements.

“But I-”

“Meet me again in two days. I don’t want to give them a reason to suspect you’re doing anything they would disapprove of.”

“But Ryan-”

“Gavin. We can talk on the way back to the commons. The hour is later than you think darling.” Gavin looks down at his feet and nods quietly, like he’s done so many times at the temple- being scolded for always being scatterbrained, for forgetting the smallest chore or forgetting to leave his tithing. For reading about his own history- his own  _ people _ .

“Calm down.” Geoff’s hands land on his shoulders and he jumps. “Next time we’ll teach you how to keep those emotions in check. Don’t let anger get the best of you  _ vähän vaola _ .”

“I’m sorry. I won’t, I promise.” Gavin smiles a little over his shoulder and Geoff gives him a gentle pat on the cheek.

“ _ Gå med nåde _ .”

Gavin doesn’t know the trail well enough to know how close he is to the commons as Ryan leads him back. It’s much darker here now and he finds himself moving in closer to the other Witch’s side to fend off the chill. He’s almost surprised when an arm wraps around his shoulders, pulling him in tight, and he looks up to see Ryan smiling at him.

“You did well today.” He hums, squeezing tighter for a moment. “There’s a lot of power locked up in you  _ vähän vaola _ . We’ll get you shining brighter than the sun in no time.”

“What did you do? When you were trying to save Geoff.” Gavin asks quietly. Ryan stops and takes his hand gently.

“I won’t burden you with that. Not yet… You aren’t ready to hear all of the terrible things that can happen.” He whispers. “For now just focus on your gift.  _ Our _ gift.” He smiles and Gavin looks around the forest- little purple lights flicker around them, almost like fireflies, and his heart jumps up into his throat.

“Can I- Can I try?” He breathes, watching the little lights.

“Of course.” The squeeze Ryan gives his hand brings comfort and he closes his eyes- trying to will his own light to manifest the same way. “There you go. Open your eyes darling.” When he does, Ryan’s smiling down at him and little gold flashes pop up amongst Ryan’s purple lights. He’s…  _ happy _ \- lighter than he has been in years and he can’t help the tears that pool in his eyes. “Don’t cry.”

“They- They’re happy tears.” Gavin laughs through a little sniffle, wiping at his eyes. “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me.” Ryan laughs with him, leading him on. “Keep practicing, alright?”

“I will.”

“And remember. Two days. The same place we met today.” Ryan stops just outside the city wall. “This is as far as I can go with you for now.” He looks… hurt, and Gavin’s heart sinks a little. He’s not ready to say goodbye yet. “Promise me you’ll meet me.” He whispers, putting a gentle hand on his cheek.

“I- I promise.” Gavin reaches up to cover Ryan’s hand with his own.

“Safe travels,  _ vähän vaola. _ ”

“Safe travels, Ryan.” He surprises himself when he meets Ryan halfway as he leans in for a soft kiss.

“Follow the lights.” Ryan smiles when they part, and Gavin looks into town, smiling himself when he sees a few soft purple specks.

“Oh- wait!” Gavin scurries back down the pile of rubble, unhooking the clasp of Ryan’s cloak and holding it out to him, cursing the blush he can feel heating his cheeks. “T-This is yours.”

“I’m tempted to tell you to keep it.” Ryan chuckles, settling the cloak back over his own shoulders. “But I’m sure your friends at the temple would ask too many questions.” He gives him a sly smile and slips something into his pocket. “To remember me by.” He leans in to press one last quick kiss to Gavin’s cheek before he turns back to the cottage he shares with Geoff. “Better hurry! You’ll be late!”

Gavin does as he’s told- for once- hurrying down little side streets and alleys until he knows where he is again. He doesn’t know  _ how _ Ryan’s magic works, but he’s willing to bet that the other Witch just guessed at which part of town he would know best, and told his lights to stop there, because he doesn’t see them for the last little leg of his trek home. For the second day in a row, it’s nearly dark as he climbs the front steps of the temple. He’s exhausted again, but in a different way. This is a more peaceful exhaustion-  _ happier _ than yesterday’s- and he can’t help but smile a little as he walks.

“Where have you been?” A voice makes Gavin freeze and he turns to see Jack  _ and _ Michael waiting for him, both with their arms crossed and some combination of worry and anger on their faces.

“Library.” He lies. It comes out easily and he just passes his friends, trying to ignore the pounding of his heart.

“No you weren’t.” Michael grabs him by the wrist but almost immediately draws his hand away with a startled gasp. “What was  _ that _ for!?” He doesn’t quite shout, but his voice echoes off the steps and down the hall nonetheless.

“What happened?” Jack comes closer and Michael holds out his hand- little blisters starting to bubble up on his palm. “Gavin!”

“I-I didn’t mean to!” He gasps. “Michael- love I’m so sorry! I-I really didn’t mean to-” Gavin reaches out for him and his heart sinks like a stone when he takes a step back, holding his hand up to his chest protectively.

“Don’t touch me.” He spits the words like they’re poison and Gavin reels back like he’s been slapped.

“M-Michael please… I  _ swear _ . You know I would never hurt you.”

“Oh,  _ clearly _ .” Michael just glares at him and he feels tears trailing down his cheeks.

“I didn’t mean to- honest. Jack- you believe me don’t you, Jack?” Gavin’s breath hitches when Jack gives him a stern look. “H-He surprised me is all-” He stammers. “It- I can’t always… I can’t always control it…” It  _ has _ happened before. He’s burned or shocked people that sneak up on him- it’s like a little defense mechanism. But it’s never been quite this strong. Usually it’s just a little warmth or a barely there burst of static.

“Where did you go today, Gavin? We’ve been looking everywhere for you.” Jack’s stern gaze doesn’t soften and Gavin shrinks in on himself, reaching up to hold onto his pendant.

“I told you-”

“Don’t lie.” Jack cuts him off. “We checked the library.”

“I-It wasn’t the library in high town.”

“You went back to the deep road?”

“Where else am I supposed to find the information I want?” Gavin can’t help but to snap. “I’ve already read all of the books that even  _ mention _ people like me in high town.” He can feel his lip trembling and bites down on it to make it stop. “I just want to know more about myself.” It’s not really a lie- that’s all he  _ really _ wants from the little meetings with Ryan and Geoff. He doesn’t want power. He just wants to know where he came from-  _ who _ he’s supposed to be. He wants to know if Ryan was right and living at the temple really has twisted him into someone-  _ something _ \- he was never supposed to be.

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Would you have let me go if I had?” He challenges, gripping the pendant tighter. Jack and Michael exchange a look before Jack sighs.

“I suppose you’re right. I probably would have stopped you. But only because I want to  _ protect _ you Gavin. I don’t want you to see the… The  _ ugly _ side of magic. How it corrupts everyone who uses it and-” He cuts himself off when Gavin gasps and takes another step away. “I didn’t mean- I meant- The people who  _ abuse _ that power. It’s very easy to overexert yourself and if you make a mistake-”

“You think I’ll hurt people…” Gavin breathes. “You- you think I’ll hurt  _ you _ . You think I’m going to betray you, don’t you!?” As his voice rises, Jack and Michael both rush to quiet him.

“No, no- Gavvy that’s not what he meant just-”

“I don’t want you to hurt  _ yourself _ .” Jack amends quickly.

“Then you have to let me  _ learn _ Jack!” Gavin’s hands clench into fists at his sides and he slams his foot down- feeling the same rush he’d felt when Geoff had touched his shoulder and when Ryan held his hand. “You have to let me  _ see _ what can happen because right now it’s all just-  _ inside _ me and I don’t know what to do with it!” For the first time in a long time, he sees his marks glowing  _ through _ his sleeve and he knows Michael and Jack can see it too. Tears trail steadily down his cheeks now and he can’t catch his breath.

“Gavvy…” Michael reaches for him again, slowly this time and Gavin sucks in a sharp breath when his friend’s fingertips brush over the back of his hand, trying to reel his magic back in. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have grabbed you like that.” Michael’s fingers lace with his own and he barely stiffles a sob when his light fades- well and truly exhausted now.

“I’m sorry too.” Jack sighs, putting an arm around his shoulders. “I didn’t mean to accuse you of anything. I just worry about you… I’ve only ever known a few other Witches and well… I saw them  _ change _ Gavin. Two are dead, one went insane, the other just… disappeared. He was a good friend of mine and he’s just  _ gone _ . And I had to watch his partner lose his mind to the darkness that came up from the southlands and the power he tried to pull from there.”

“But I’m not  _ from _ the southlands. Jack- what darkness do you see in me?” Gavin looks up into Jack’s eyes, desperate for answers. Instead he sees pain. “You see my light. He did too… The merchant.”

“The man you met yesterday?” Michael gives him a look, but says nothing else.

“I went looking to see if I could find out what he said to me. He called me-”

“Little light.” Jack smiles a little. It’s shaky and tired, but it’s a smile and Gavin feels some of the weight lift away from his chest. “My friend was from the southlands.” He explains softly. “That’s why… That’s why I know you need to stay  _ away _ from the merchant at the deep road. If he’s a Witch… He’s dangerous. Please trust me.”

“I-” Gavin looks to the commons, in the direction of the deep road, and the broken wall, and Ryan’s small home with Geoff, and takes a shaky breath around a bitten lip. “I trust you Jack. I promise you, I didn’t go looking for that merchant. Just to the library. And I- I’d like to go back. On my own.”

“Just let me know next time.” Just as it did the night before, the gentle kiss that Jack presses to his forehead chases away the chill that’s started to seep into his bones.

“I will.”

While Jack takes Michael to get his hand patched up, Gavin heads straight for his room- still shaking. He hates lying like this, especially to his two closest friends, but he knows he has to. For his safety as well as Ryan and Geoff’s. He sighs and idly traces the marks up his arm as he sits down on his bed and wonders if he’d be able to conjure the lights with the same ease without Ryan to guide him… He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath focusing on the memory of the feeling of Ryan holding his hands back in the woods… 

“Hey Gav, I’m going to go take a bath. Could you help me with-  _ oh _ .” Gavin’s eyes snap open when he hears Michael open the door and gasp. “Oh Gavvy-” Michael’s eyes go wide with wonder as he steps into the room and looks around at the little lights flickering in the air. “They’re beautiful. How did you-?”

“Just- Just something I’ve been working on.” Gavin blushes all the way down to his collarbones when Michael comes closer and reaches out to touch one of the little sparks.

“It won’t hurt, will it?” He breathes.

“No.” Gavin smiles and Michael holds a hand out to catch a light in his palm. “Don’t um… Don’t tell Jack, okay?” His smile fades a little and the lights dim.

“Why not? I think he would like this.” Michael frowns when the light in his hand goes out.

“You heard him earlier… He doesn’t trust magic… He doesn’t trust  _ me _ .”

“Of course he trusts you.” Michael sits down on the bed next to him and holds his hand. “And he cares about you. He’d want to see you happy.  _ This _ makes you happy.”

“I’m scared.” Gavin swallows around the lump in his throat. “What if he’s right? What if I go bad…?”

“You’re not going to go bad Gavvy.” Michael’s arms wrap around him tight and he presses his face into his shoulder. “I’ll make sure you don’t. How about I go with you to the library next time you go? I could- well I don’t know what I could do to help but maybe having someone with you-”

“I- I think I need to do this alone… For now at least.”

“Oh… Okay.” Michael starts pulling away, but Gavin wraps his arms tighter around him.

“Just for now. I-I’ll take you with me someday. I promise.” He whispers.

“What’s that smell on your clothes?” He freezes up when Michael sits back a little and gives him a look.

“Must- must be the library. I didn’t even notice.” Gavin stammers out. “I’ll wash it out tomorrow.”

“You- You went to see him didn’t you? That Witch.” Michael’s eyes widen and he covers his mouth with one hand.

“No! No I didn’t- I promise. Michael, I  _ swear _ I didn’t meet him. I even made sure to keep an eye out for him so I could avoid him.”

“Why are you lying to me?” Michael’s voice comes out quiet. “Gavvy, you can tell me if you saw him. I won’t tell Jack. I promise.” Gavin takes a slow, deep breath, looking into Michael’s eyes.

“I saw him.” He finally whispers. “We- we talked for a little while but that’s all.”

“Okay. Alright.” Michael chews his lip as he stands again. “Are you going to see him again?”

“I don’t know. Honestly.”

“Okay. Tell me if you do. I’ll- I can cover for you.”

“You don’t have to do that-”

“You can’t keep lying on your own. Jack will catch on. Everyone will.” Michael crosses his arms, but smiles a little. “What’s he like?”

“He’s…” Gavin feels himself blush. “ _ Incredible _ . He- he’s handsome and smart and- I can  _ feel _ him. His magic. I  _ want _ to see him again but I don’t know if I will. If I do, it won’t be a regular thing, I think. I don’t want anything to happen to him, you know?”

“Just… be careful okay?” Michael leans in to kiss him softly and Gavin’s heart sinks a little with the weight of his lies. He’s taken by surprise when Michael deepens the kiss, pushing him back gently. “I love you Gavvy. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“I love you too Michael.” He breathes against Michael’s lips, reaching up with one hand to hold his waist. “I promise I’ll be careful.”

Michael, as always, falls asleep first, leaving Gavin to stare at him fondly as he traces little patterns on his shoulder idly, conjuring little sparks that flit across his skin. He doesn’t say it often enough, but he can’t help but think that Michael looks beautiful like this in the low light of their fireplace, his hair still sticking to his forehead, his perfect lips parted just a little- a rare moment of peace from his explosive personality. He really does love him… And that makes it so much harder to lie to him. He really doesn’t want to.

“I’ll be back in a little while.” He whispers, kissing Michael’s forehead before slipping out of bed and getting dressed, wrapping his cloak around his shoulders before he leaves the room quietly and heads for the front steps of the temple. He does this every so often. Just sits on the steps and watches the city sleep. It usually helps him clear his mind, but tonight he just can’t get away from the thoughts of Ryan- hoping he’s warm enough in his little cottage, wondering if Geoff’s there to keep his bed warm.

“Gavin? What are you doing up at this hour?” He looks over his shoulder as Jack joins him on the step.

“Couldn’t sleep again. Didn’t want to bother Michael so I came here.” He smiles and rests his chin on his arms, folded over his knees. “Nice out tonight.” He hums.

“It is. Why can’t you sleep? I thought Michael would have been able to tire you out.” Jack shoots him a cheeky grin and Gavin blushes.

“You heard that?”

“Gav, I think half the temple heard.” Jack chuckles. “Anyway. What’s on your mind?”

“I think you know…” Gavin sighs, looking back out over the commons. “What um… What happened to your friend?” Jack’s silent for a long moment before he sighs and shifts closer, reaching out to hold his hand.

“He was a gifted Witch. He tried his best to help people, but when it came out that he was using magic they… They tried to kill him. His partner went insane while he was locked up. He burned the city to the ground trying to free Geoff.”

“Geoff?” Gavin hopes that Jack doesn’t notice the way he freezes, or the way his breath hitches.

“My friend. I’d never seen anything like it- never have since. His partner Ryan was… He was a good man. But he snapped. I’m not sure if he even survived what he did but both of them disappeared.”

“O-oh… I- I’m sorry.”

“I shouldn’t be telling you this…” Jack wraps an arm around his shoulders and pulls him in close, kissing the side of his head. “You shouldn’t have to worry about these things.”

“What if it does happen to me though? What if you’re right?” Gavin’s throat feels tight and he can’t help the way he shivers, even in Jack’s warm embrace.

“You won’t. Whoever that man was- he was right to call you little light.” He can hear the smile in Jack’s voice but he can’t bear to face him. “You’re so bright Gavin. And there’s not a bad bone in your body.”

“How do you know? Do… Do you even know where I came from?”

“Somewhere out east. Judging by your accent. And, not that it matters, but that’s the direction you came from. You still don’t remember anything?”

“No. Just… Showing up here.” Gavin runs his fingers over his marks again. “And none of these look familiar to you? Did- Didn’t your friend have any?”

“He covered his with tattoos. And Ryan always wore darker clothes so his wouldn’t show. I never got a good look at them.”

“Huh…” Gavin just keeps staring at his arm, the light from his marks pulsing gently. “Do you think… Are you sure I’m not from the southlands?”

“Fairly sure.” Jack gives him a tighter squeeze and kisses his shoulder. “Never saw anyone in the southlands with your eyes. Such beautiful eyes.”

“You’ve said so before.” Gavin blushes all the way down to his collarbones and tries to hide his little smile.

“And I meant it every time. I’ll always mean it. You’ll always be precious to me Gavin.” He looks up when Jack touches his cheek gently.

“Jack… You never kiss me anymore Jack…” He whispers- it’s too quiet here for him to want to speak any louder than that. “You used to- all the time. Why’d you stop?”

“Well with Michael giving you so much attention, I didn’t think I would have to.” Jack chuckles. “Didn’t think you wanted attention from me anymore.”

“Of course I do. You know I love you both dearly. I would like a kiss from time to time.” He smiles when Jack laughs- the sound echoing down the stone steps.

“If I give you a kiss will you go back to bed?”

“In a bit. I think I’d like to sit for a little while longer.”

“Alright then.” Jack leans in the rest of the way and gives him a soft kiss before standing slowly. “Don’t stay out too late.”

“I won’t. Promise.”

Gavin doesn’t intend to stay out too late, but the night air and the stillness of the commons are too comforting- he can’t help but stare down at the empty streets and the few lights still on in windows and wonder what other people are doing awake. A little flicker of movement catches his eye and he sits up a little straighter as the shape comes closer to the temple. He stands and wraps his cloak tighter around his shoulders.

“Hello?” He calls down and the person stops short- presumably looking up at him under their hood. “Can I help you?” He takes a few hesitant steps forward and the stranger pulls their hood down. “Ryan?” He gasps and hurries the rest of the way down to Ryan, pulling him around a corner and into the garden where he knows they won’t be seen from the window- he’s snuck off with Michael enough times to know all the best hiding spots. “What are you doing here?”

“I couldn’t sleep.” Ryan smiles down at him. “I couldn’t stay away. Geoff says I’m crazy for wanting to come see you here.”

“You are.” Gavin scolds, shoving him by the shoulder. “Bloody hell Ryan- what if you’d been caught?”

“They wouldn’t have caught me.” Ryan grins.

“And what if I hadn’t been awake? What was your plan? To break into the temple and find me?” He doesn’t mean to sound so angry, and he regrets it more when he sees the way Ryan’s smile fades to a little frown.

“Of course not. I was just going to wander the grounds. If I didn’t see you I would have left. Aren’t you happy to see me?”

“I- I am but… You can’t be here. I’ll meet you in two days, like we planned. Michael suspects something already- I can’t be out much longer.” He looks over his shoulder nervously.

“That wasn’t who we saw today was it?”

“No and-” Gavin swallows nervously. “You lied to me.”

“What?”

“That man that we saw. Jack. He knows you.”

“You told him my name?” There’s fear in Ryan’s eyes and he looks up to the temple.

“No. He told me- he told me what happened to you and Geoff. They used to be friends.”

“Wait- Jack  _ Pattillo _ ?” Ryan’s eyes go wide and he takes a step back. “What- what did he tell you? How did this come up?”

“Earlier, when I got home, he and Michael were waiting for me. They confronted me- asked where I’d been all day. I told them I was at the library trying to find anything about people like me. People like  _ us _ . He told me that he’s only known a few Witches, but that they all changed.”

“How so?”

“Two are dead, one was driven mad and one disappeared. Said he was good friends with the one who disappeared.” Gavin repeats what Jack had told him. “Just a little while ago, I asked what happened to his friend. He said that when he was put to trial, his partner snapped.” He looks up into Ryan’s eyes. “That he went mad and burned their city to the ground.” Ryan looks away and Gavin just sees his throat bob as he swallows.

“He shouldn’t have told you about that.” Ryan whispers. “That’s- Anyone would have snapped under those conditions. Locked up for weeks, not knowing if the person you love is dead or not. Not knowing that he’s just a few cells down, bound and gagged and being subjected to-” His face twists in pain and Gavin sees the marks that peek out of his sleeve glow bright. “Those people were  _ horrible _ Gavin. The things they did to him- the things they did to us… They didn’t deserve mercy. They didn’t  _ show _ any mercy. And we never did anything to them.”

“Keep your voice down.” Gavin hisses through his teeth. “I won’t let you be caught here. Y-You should go… I’ll come meet you in two days.” He reaches up to touch Ryan’s cheek and his breath catches in his throat. “I promise.” Ryan makes a little surprised noise when Gavin stands up on his toes to press a gentle kiss to his lips.

“Alright.” He smiles. “Until then, remember-” He leans in a little and cups Gavin’s face in both hands. “I’ll protect you. Trust nobody darling.” When Ryan kisses him, Gavin’s knees go weak. It isn’t just a quick peck. It’s got the same heat as the kisses Michael gives him when they’re alone and he can’t help the moan that slips out. “Someday.” Ryan chuckles.

“I’ll see you soon.” Gavin breathes, taking a hesitant step back.

“Sleep well  _ vähän vaola. _ ” Ryan smiles sweetly at him and pulls his hood back over his head.

There’s a heaviness on Gavin’s shoulders as he walks back up the temple steps and back to his room. When he pushes the door open and sees Michael still sleeping soundly, some of that weight lifts and he hangs his cloak quietly. He freezes up when Michael stirs and sits up a little.

“Gavin?”

“I’m here.” He smiles, getting back into bed and wrapping his arms around him.

“Where’d you go?”

“Just outside for a little bit. Needed some fresh air.”

“Well go to sleep.” Michael mumbles, laying against his shoulder.

“I will, love. I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure if I'm going to keep updating tbh.
> 
> I was really pleased with this a couple weeks ago but the more I read over it to edit the less I actually like what I see.


	4. Chapter 4

Michael isn’t in bed with him when he wakes up, but Gavin can hear him moving around the room and smiles into his pillow when he hears him humming.

“Good morning.” He yawns, sitting up and stretching.

“Morning Gavvy. Sleep well?”

“Better than I have in ages.” He smiles. All the uncertainty he’s been feeling the last couple of days seems to have lifted from his shoulders and he feels lighter than he has in weeks. “You?”

“Well enough. But I had some strange dreams.” Michael rubs the back of his neck and groans a little. “And I think I was lying a little funny. Crick in my neck.”

“Come here.” Gavin meets him halfway and puts his hands on his shoulders. “Don’t tell.” He gives Michael a little grin before closing his eyes and focusing on warmth- comfort.

“What are you- oh-” Michael relaxes back against him. “That’s lovely Gav.” He sighs as Gavin presses into his shoulders, his hands warm with magic.

“You can’t tell anyone, okay?”

“Why?” Michael turns to face him.

“You know why.” He frowns. “C’mon, please. Just promise you won’t tell.”

“I promise. Everything in this room stays between us.” Michael smiles and leans in to kiss his cheek. “Now get up and get dressed. We’ve been called.”

“What for?” Gavin pulls clean robes from the wardrobe and ignores the feeling of Michael’s eyes on him as he gets dressed.

“Missus McClaine had her baby last night. She asked for us specifically to do her blessings.” Michael smiles and Gavin slips his medallion around his neck.

“That’s sweet of her.” He touches the pendant. “Did she say why?”

“She didn’t.” Michael frowns at him. “Are you nervous? You’ve done this dozens of times.”

“Her husband doesn’t exactly care for  _ my kind _ .” He mutters.

“Well if he’s got anything to say about it he’ll have to go through me.” Michael huffs, grabbing his arm and pulling him out of their room. “Come on.”

“Gavin, Michael.” The both of them turn at Jack’s voice and Gavin’s heart sinks when he sees the look on his face.

“What is it?”

“Be careful today. I got word that someone was sneaking around the gardens last night.” Jack’s eyes meet his and Gavin swallows.

“Could have just been me. I took a little walk last night.”

“It wasn’t you.” The look that Jack gives him is steely, and Gavin squirms, reaching up to hold his necklace nervously. “But you were seen too. Coming from the same part of the garden.”

“I didn’t see anybody. Swear. Thought I heard someone but- I didn’t think anything of it.” He looks down at his feet to avoid Jack’s eyes.

“Just watch yourselves out there.” Jack finally sighs, giving each of them a pat on the shoulder before heading the opposite way down the hall.

“What was that about?” Michael whispers, grabbing Gavin’s hand to stop him when he hurries towards the door. “Gavin. Answer me.”

“I don’t know.” Gavin’s voice shakes. “I was down there for an hour easily- I never saw a soul.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m positive Michael.” He hopes his nervousness comes off as fear, and it seems to. Michael just holds tighter to his hand as they walk.

“I’m sure it was nothing. Probably just a drunk wandering around getting lost. Just stick close to me for now okay? I’ll protect you.”

“I know you will.” Gavin smiles and squeezes Michael’s hand gently. “And I’ll protect you. No matter what.”

The McClaine household is a little too close to the deep road for comfort and Gavin can’t help but look around for any sign of Ryan or Geoff- but an angry voice snaps him out of his thoughts.

“And what are you doing here?”

“Good morning Mr. McClaine.” Gavin smiles and nods politely while Michael grinds his teeth- but keeps his mouth shut. “Your wife called for us.”

“Well I sure as hell didn’t call for any  _ Witch. _ ” He spits at Gavin’s feet and he takes a deep breath.

“We’re just here to do our job.” Michael’s never been good at keeping his temper in check, but he’s doing a wonderful job of it now. “Your wife asked for  _ Gavin _ specifically.” Mr. McClaine glares but stands aside to let them in.

“Thank you love.” Gavin whispers as they make their way through the small home.

“Don’t mention it. He’s a prick Gav. Don’t mind him.”

“Michael, Gavin! It’s lovely to see you boys.”

“Good morning Madeline.” Gavin smiles and sits on the edge of her bed, holding her hand. “How are you feeling love?”

“I feel wonderful.” Madeline smiles a little sadly and gives his hand a squeeze. “I hope Jay didn’t give you too much trouble dear.”

“Oh he doesn’t bother me at all.” He assures her gently. “Why’d you call for me though?” Madeline shoots a nervous look at the door and Michael gets up to close it. “Maddie?”

“Michael, could you get her for me?” She gestures to the crib and Michael picks up the little bundle, smiling and bouncing her gently when she fusses.

“What’s her name?” He asks. Gavin’s only ever seen him like this around kids. It’s endearing, and he can’t help but think that Michael would make a wonderful father if he was ever given the opportunity.

“Julia.” Madeline smiles as Michael hands her over. “Gavin, I’m worried for her…” As Madeline unwraps Julia from her blanket Gavin’s heart plummets into his stomach when he sees a tiny little mark on the baby’s hand.

“Oh Maddie…” He breathes. “I- Does Jay know?”

“Not yet… He didn’t notice it. What do I do Gavin? What did your parents do?”

“I don’t really remember.” Gavin whispers. “I didn’t even know  _ I _ was a Witch until I came here. I’ve only got vague memories of my parents, but I think they were both Witches. I remember their light…” He takes Julia when Madeline hands her over and smiles down at her. “Hello little one.”

“Can you help with her?”

“I’ll do my best.” He promises. “Don’t you worry. I’ll protect you. We can learn together.” His voice cracks and Michael puts a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“You come get me and Gavvy if your daddy ever gives you any trouble.” Michael adds, leaning in to kiss her forehead. “We’ll set him straight.” Madeline laughs at that.

“Thank you boys. You’ll be the first to know if there are any problems. But Jay won’t say a word if he knows what’s good for him.” She smiles.

After giving Madeline and Julia their blessings, Gavin’s heart still feels heavy. Not even Michael’s hand on his back brings him the comfort it usually does. Jay gives him a dirty look on his way out, but he does his best to ignore it and mutters a little blessing for him as well. He hears Ryan and Geoff’s whistles to each other, and fights the temptation to whistle back. Maybe if he was alone he would.

“Wonder what that’s about.” Michael mutters, looking around curiously. “I’ve heard it before, but I’ve been hearing it a lot more lately.”

“Dunno.” Gavin shrugs. Another whistle sounds too close for comfort and he takes a careful look around when he feels the, now familiar, prickle of magic in the air.

“Pardon me.” Gavin tries not to freeze up when someone taps his shoulder and turns slowly to see Geoff smiling at him and Michael. “My friend is feeling a little under the weather. Would you mind saying a little prayer for him?”

“O-Of course.” Michael breathes, staring at Geoff with wide eyes, gripping Gavin’s wrist like a vice.

“Thank you.” Geoff chuckles and touches Michael’s cheek gently. “I appreciate it.”

“Hope your friend feels better soon.” Gavin smiles politely and Geoff gives him a little wink as he turns to leave.

“I’m sure I’ll see you around.” He hums, making his way back into the crowd. Gavin watches him carefully and stifles a laugh when he sees him sway- Ryan standing from a little table outside a shop and shoving him when he sees them watching from down the road. He can hear Geoff’s laugh even from here and smiles as the two Witches give each other playful little shoves.

“Who on  _ earth _ is that?” Michael still looks a bit dazed as he watches them. “I’ve never seen him before.”

“Must be new in town. Or maybe he’s just passing through.”

“I sure hope he isn’t just passing through.” Michael mutters, licking his lips.

“Michael!” Gavin gives him a little nudge and laughs when he blushes and sputters.

“Were we not looking at the same man? I mean  _ wow _ .”

“You could go talk to him you know.” He grins and Michael’s cheeks go even more pink. “Nothing in the rules that says you can’t. I’ll even go with you.” Before the words are even out of his mouth, Michael’s headed down the street and he has to jog to catch up with him. Ryan stops short as they approach and raises an eyebrow.

“Sorry I-” Michael swallows and takes a slow breath, looking at Geoff. “I should have asked back there, but your friend’s name was-?” Gavin shakes his head and gives the two of them a pointed look, still standing behind Michael and mouthing ‘he knows’.

“James.” Ryan answers with a smile. “I’ll apologize on behalf of my rude friend here. He just wanted an excuse to go talk to you.”

“O-Oh.” Michael’s blush is back and Gavin stifles another laugh, earning himself an elbow in the ribs. “I’m-”

“Michael, right?” Gavin can feel Geoff’s magic and wonders if Michael can feel it too, winding around in his head and making him a little foggy.

“How did you-?”

“Call it…  _ intuition _ .” Geoff reaches for his hand and kisses his knuckles while Ryan rolls his eyes, Gavin going to stand next to him instead.

“Or call it asking a shopkeeper.” He huffs. “Don’t mind him darling. Not only is he rude but  _ lecherous _ .” It’s Geoff’s turn to roll his eyes.

“Me? Lecherous? James please. Give me a little credit. And don’t act like you’ve never fallen for a pretty face.” Geoff grins over at Gavin and Ryan- a look that doesn’t go unnoticed by Michael, who glances down at Ryan’s arm then locks eyes with Gavin for a moment.

“You know.” Michael lowers his voice to a whisper and Gavin’s heart races. He knows this tone too well. “Lies don’t make a very good first impression.” Gavin feels Ryan’s hand twitch next to his and fights the urge to twine their fingers together.

“Beg your pardon?” Geoff blinks.

“Your name.” Michael looks straight at Ryan who sighs and puts a hand on Gavin’s back.

“Gavin mentioned you. He didn’t tell me you were so observant though.” He smiles a little. “It’s Ryan.”

“I thought you weren’t going to tell.” Geoff crosses his arms and Gavin shuffles his feet.

“And I thought  _ you _ were going to be honest with me.” Gavin jabs a finger into Geoff’s chest.

“What-”

“He knows Jack, Geoff.” Ryan whispers and Geoff draws in a quiet gasp. “Come on. We shouldn’t talk here.” He looks around nervously.

“In here.” Geoff pushes open the door of the empty shop they’re standing outside of and ushers them in but Michael hesitates.

“It’s alright. I promise.” Gavin whispers, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“You’re making lots of promises lately, Gavin.” Michael glares at him and shrugs off his hand before following Geoff and Ryan in, leaving him to close the door behind them with a heavy heart.

“I assume Jack doesn’t know that you’ve met us.”

“No. I never told him your names. He knows I bumped into a Witch the other day but that’s all. He… He doesn’t even know if you two are alive…” Geoff runs a hand down his face with a weary sigh.

“Jack was a dear friend for a long time.” He finally murmurs. “Leaving without telling him was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. But I couldn’t risk anyone knowing where I’d gone. Where  _ we’d _ gone.”

“After what I did… It was easier to let people believe we’d died.” Ryan adds quietly, sitting down close to Geoff and putting a hand on his knee.

“What happened?” Michael, surprisingly, seems to soften when Geoff and Ryan exchange a pained look.

“I’ll spare you most of the details.” Geoff folds his hands in his lap. “I was wrongfully imprisoned. Ryan got me out.”

“Don’t coddle the boy Geoffrey.” Ryan snaps.

“He doesn’t need to know.” Geoff shoots back. “ _ Neither _ of them need to know what happened to us. Least of all Gavin.”

“Why not Gavin?” Michael asks.

“We were nearly killed for being Witches. I’m not telling Gavin the horrible things they put us through. He doesn’t need to be frightened like that.” The ink on Geoff’s hands glows a soft blue and Michael stares.

“I want to know.” Gavin tries to keep his voice from shaking and Geoff’s eyes lock with his, something cold and frightening in his already intense blue gaze.

“You want to know?” Geoff stands and closes in on him and Gavin stumbles back against an empty table when he grabs him by the chin. He barely hears Michael shout over the pounding of his heartbeat in his ears, but sees Ryan take him by the arm out of the corner of his eye. “Darling you have no idea of the horrors outside of your city walls. Or  _ inside _ them for that matter.” Geoff’s eyes flash and Gavin gasps.

“Geoff be careful-” Ryan warns.

“You told me not to coddle them.” Geoff grips Gavin’s chin harder and forces him to look back into his eyes.

“There’s a difference between telling them the truth and-” But Gavin doesn’t hear the rest. There’s a pulse of light from Geoff- then his knees go weak, his eyes roll back and he thinks he hears Michael and Ryan yelling before everything goes dark… 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: This chapter dives into what happened to Geoff and Ryan in their past. Most of it is skipped over, but I’m tacking on a warning for violence.

“ _ Ryan! _ ” Geoff tries to scramble to his feet, out of breath and holding a gash on his side. “Let him go! Please- he hasn’t done anything!” He begs the two guards who hold Ryan up while a third delivers another blow to his stomach that forces a noise through his grit teeth.

“Lies!” A fourth kicks him in the side, sending him back to the floor. “Tell us the truth and maybe we’ll let your little  _ familiar _ go.” She sneers.

“Fuck you.” Ryan pants, spitting blood. “I am  _ nobody’s _ familiar.”

“Rye-” Geoff groans, trying again to get to his feet. “Shut up.”

“If you take Geoff you’ll have to take me too.”

“Shut  _ up _ .” He gasps, he can feel blood seeping between his fingers and his vision is starting to go a little fuzzy. He nearly cries out when one of the guards grabs him by the back of his shirt and hauls him up to his feet.

“Better say goodbye while you can.” The men and women in his home laugh- a cruel sound that seems to scare even Ryan, who looks up at him with wide eyes, blood dripping down his chin.

“Ryan-” He chokes.

“I’ll find you. I promise.” Ryan’s voice cracks with the facade he’s been trying to keep up and one tear trails down through the dirt and blood on his cheek. “I-” Another ruthless hit doubles him over and Geoff feels his heart break.

“Don’t do anything stupid-” He can see a little flicker of light in Ryan’s palm and he panics. If they don’t know Ryan’s a Witch yet- there might still be time to save him. He throws his elbow back into the ribs of the man that’s holding him up and lights off a burst that sends them all back. He’s not trying to hurt anyone- not yet. He grabs Ryan and tugs him close, pulling up a ring of fire around them and panting from the effort.

“Geoff-”

“I’m fine.” He forces out through grit teeth. “I’ve got you.”

“You think a few parlor tricks can scare us off? You’ve been charged with crimes against the crown, Ramsey. And we’re not leaving here without you. Dead or alive.”

“You’ll have to kill me then because I’m not going anywhere.” Geoff hears a little gasp from Ryan and finally looks down to see how bright his tattoos glow. “Come on then!” He shouts. “Been a little too long since I’ve had the chance to show off for my husband. If you’re gonna kill me anyway I may as well take a few of you with me.”

“Have it your way.” One guard pulls a bow and takes aim. But Geoff’s too caught up watching him to notice another pulling a knife and throwing it. He’s not ready for the choked noise that Ryan makes or the way he crumbles beside him.

“R-Ryan?”

“K-Kill them-” Ryan gasps, holding the wound in his stomach and looking up at him. “D-do it. There- there’s no reasoning with- with these people.”

“You don’t have the nerve. Do you Ramsey?” One of the guards sneers. “You couldn’t kill us if you-” Their taunts are cut off by a shard of light through the throat.

“How does it feel?” Geoff murmurs, calling the light back to his hands. “Knowing that your king sent you here to die? Knowing that he  _ lied _ to you about how dangerous a Witch could really be?” Ryan’s quiet little laugh behind him brings some comfort, but when he looks down at his partner he can see the light fading from him and that bit of comfort fades with it. An arrow through his shoulder breaks his concentration and Geoff falls to his knees next to Ryan. The ring of fire around them falls away and when Ryan’s hand finds his own- Geoff knows it’s over.

“Not so tough now are you?”

It’s the last thing Geoff remembers- the woman staring down at him disdainfully before a heavy boot to the head knocks him unconscious. He groans as he wakes up, his head spinning and every bone and muscle in his body screaming in protest when he tries to sit up. He tries to call out for Ryan- but the thick fabric in his mouth chokes him and all he can do is let out a muffled whine.

“Don’t bother. No one’s coming for you.” He looks up at a familiar voice, and his heart sinks into his stomach like a stone. “I’m sorry. I tried to get them to let you go Geoffrey. I really did. I tried to convince them. But they wouldn’t listen.” The man in the cell across from his sighs and runs a hand back through his hair. “Of course they wouldn’t listen to me.” Jon laughs bitterly. Geoff tries again to force the gag out from between his teeth and Jon looks over his shoulder before waving his hand quickly, the knot loosening easily.

“W-Where’s Ryan?” Geoff gasps, finally able to get a decent breath in.

“Haywood? I don’t know. They didn’t bring him in with you.”

“N-No… Gods no-”

“They really did a number on you huh.” Jon sits up a little more and leans against the bars of his cell. “Gods, Geoff. What did you say to them?”

“Told them- told them I wasn’t going to go quietly. Not when I hadn’t done anything wrong.” Geoff laughs breathlessly. “Don’t think they knew about Rye.”

“Doubt it. I didn’t see his name on their list.”

“Doesn’t matter though.” He groans as he leans against the wall. “They killed him anyway…” His voice catches in his throat with the bitter reality he’s forced to face. “ _ Fuck _ I’m an idiot… I should have told him to run…”

“Do you think he would have?”

“Of course not. Not right away. But if we’d had a little more warning… I could have gotten him to leave.”

“I’m sorry Geoffrey… I know how much he meant to you.” Geoff doesn’t look Jon in the eye, just stares at his hands and tries to pull up even the smallest bit of his magic. “Don’t bother. It took me three days to even get my light. They’ve done something to block magic down here.”

“Shit…” He just leans against the wall and looks up at the ceiling. “How long have you been here?”

“A week. Maybe two. Just keep your head down and they won’t go too hard on you.”

“I killed a guard, Jon. I don’t think I’ll be getting any special treatment.” He laughs bitterly and sighs. “We’re going to die down here aren’t we?”

“Probably.”

“Well I’m glad to have a friend here if this is going to be the end of me.”

“What do you say we go for lunch if we get out of here?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“Shut up. Both of you.” The sharp voice of a guard comes echoing down the stairs and a door somewhere slams. “Neither of you are getting out of here alive.” Geoff watches the man’s movements carefully and eyes the package he slides into his cell suspiciously. “Eat.”

“You’re going to kill me anyway. Why bother feeding me?”

“You still need to stand trial.”

“And if I refuse?”

“You’ll just die slower.” The guard shrugs, and hands Jon’s rations through the bars of his cell.

“Just take it Geoff.” He mutters. “It’s not worth fighting.” Geoff’s skin prickles at the defeated tone in his old friend’s voice. He’s a powerful Witch- too see him reduced to  _ this _ is… heartbreaking.

Geoff loses track of the days quickly. Between the small windows that don’t let in much light, the beatings that he doesn’t even bother to count anymore, and what he suspects is a strong sedative in the food and water he’s given- everything blends together. He can’t even gather the strength to shout when guards come down and pull Jon out of his cell. He doesn’t come back, and Geoff resigns himself to talking to the walls until he’s gagged again. They’re sick of hearing him.

The next clear sound he hears is a familiar voice shouting for him and he picks his head up off of the floor, confused and hazy.

“Geoff? Geoff where are you!?” He tries to call back around his gag but chokes on the smoke that fills the room. There’s a flash of light down the hall and the marks under his tattoos  _ sing _ . He fumbles to free his hands from their bonds and pulls the gag from his mouth.

“I’m here!” He shouts, stumbling to the bars of his cell and doing his best to stay on his feet.

“Geoff! Oh Gods- Geoff are you- are you alright?”  _ Ryan _ \- wonderful, blessed, beautiful,  _ Ryan _ \- skids to a stop outside of his cell, holding his hand around the bar, shaking and smiling. “I told you- I told you I would find you.”

“Darling you must be absolutely insane.” Geoff laughs, leaning in to kiss Ryan between the bars.

“I might be. Step back.” He does as he’s told and watches the lock of his cell door melt away. “Come on- quick. This place is coming down.” Ryan grabs him by the arm and drags him out of the cell and he takes a moment to hold him close.

“You’re incredible- I’ve never been so happy to see you darling.” He murmurs into Ryan’s shoulder. “I love you.”

“I love you too Geoffrey. Now come on. Plenty of time to catch up later.” There’s fear in Ryan’s eyes- fear that Geoff can’t even fathom- and he follows as quickly as his weak legs will let him.

“What did you do?” He coughs.

“What does it look like? I set fire to the prison. We don’t have much time.” Ryan leads him out of the back of the prison and they both freeze when they see they’re surrounded.

“No-” Geoff chokes and holds his side- fresh stitches pulling with every deep, shuddering breath he tries to take.

“Stay behind me.” Ryan pushes him back and the dark purple flames that spring from the ground around them make him freeze.

“Ryan-”

“We’re getting out of here. Now.” The first few arrows that come for them don’t even make it past Ryan’s ring of fire and the guards surrounding them seem to hesitate. But Geoff recognises one of them- one of the men that had been in his home- and he finally gives the order for his troops to move in.

“Quit fighting. You’re just making this harder on yourselves.” The next arrow that flies hits Ryan in the shoulder and Geoff holds his breath. But Ryan doesn’t buckle- he doesn’t cry out in pain, he barely moves. He just blinks and looks down at the wound and chuckles.

“Is that all you have for me?” His laugh chills Geoff to the bone. There’s something  _ unhinged _ about it and his marks glow brighter. “Oh you’re all slipping aren’t you?” Geoff’s never seen Ryan kill before- but now he does it as easily as breathing, and he can’t look away as four men drop.

“Ryan- wait-” He tries to grab Ryan’s hand but his magic  _ burns _ and he draws away quickly. “We can just run.”

“We can’t run. Not now.” Ryan just keeps laughing and Geoff notices inky blackness creeping up his fingers- sinking into his marks and spreading up his arm, around his neck and up one side of his face.

“Ryan-! Stop!” Panic grips Geoff by the throat and Ryan stumbles with the next arrow that grazes his arm. “You can’t-” He covers his ears, falling to his knees and squeezing his eyes shut when Ryan  _ screams _ . When he looks up again he can’t catch his breath and Ryan’s on his knees next to him, one eye glowing purple now. “Oh Ryan…” He breathes.

“Let’s go. We need to go.” Ryan pants, gritting his teeth and yanking the arrow from his shoulder before he tries to stand again.

“You need to  _ stop _ ! You’re going to kill yourself!” Geoff grabs Ryan’s clear arm and tries to drag him back.

“I’m not going to stop until we’re out of here!” Ryan shouts, yanking his arm away. Geoff freezes up when he hears shouting from down the street.

“Then let me help you. You can’t do this on your own.” He cups Ryan’s cheek gently and pulls him in for a kiss.

\----

Gavin gasps- his eyes snapping open when Michael’s voice finally reaches him. He’s on the floor of the empty shop with his dear friend kneeling over him, Ryan shouting at Geoff and pulling him away.

“What the  _ hell _ were you thinking!?”

“He wanted to know! I showed him what he wanted to see!”

“You could have hurt him!”

“Would you two shut  _ up _ !?” Michael shouts over his shoulder before putting a gentle hand on Gavin’s cheek and turning him to look into his eyes. “Gavvy? Can you hear me?” He nods, unable to catch his breath. “Come on, talk to me.”

“I- I’m okay. I’m alright.”

“Gavin? Darling, I’m so sorry- I shouldn’t have let him-”

“I’m alright, I promise.” He groans, sitting up slowly, rubbing the back of his head. “Twinges a bit.” He laughs a little. “Geoff… I’m- I’m sorry I pushed you.” Geoff looks up from where he’s sat on another empty table holding his head.

“I shouldn’t have thrown you in that deep. And that wasn’t even all of it. There’s a lot that’s still fuzzy. A lot that you really didn’t need to see. Everything they did to me while I was in there… You’d be driven mad too.”

“Can you stand?” Ryan and Michael both have a hand on his back and Gavin smiles at the both of them.

“I think so.”

“Come on then. On your feet.” Ryan wraps an arm around him and eases him up.

“How am I going to explain this…?” Gavin sighs, looking down at himself. “I’m filthy.”

“I’ll take care of that.” Michael assures him. “I- I don’t know what’s going on here… But I promise I won’t tell a soul.” Geoff looks up again at that and Gavin sees Michael blush when their eyes meet.

“Thank you. I’ll make it worth your while.” Geoff chuckles.

“What did I tell you?  _ Lecherous _ .” Ryan whispers with a grin, elbowing Michael in the side. “Gavin, darling, you should get home right away. Get some rest.”

“I’ll get him home.” Michael rubs Gavin’s back gently.

“Can I still meet you tomorrow?” Gavin looks up at Ryan and his heart skips a beat when he smiles fondly.

“Of course you can  _ vähän vaola _ . If you need more time to rest though it’s alright. We’ll figure something out.” Ryan leans in, but stops halfway and hesitates before smiling softly and kissing his forehead.

“Michael, could I have a word before you leave?” Geoff asks, motioning for Michael to come closer. Gavin can’t hear what they discuss, but when Michael comes back to him, there’s a strange look in his eyes. He doesn’t ask, just takes the arm offered to him and stands slowly, leaning against Michael for support as he says goodbye to Geoff and Ryan.


	6. Chapter 6

The closer he gets to the temple, the more drained Gavin feels. He leans more heavily against Michael until he finally stops and sits him down outside of a bakery and frowns at him.

“Are you really alright?”

“I’ll be fine. Just never had magic used on me before. Especially not like that. It’s a lot to take in. What did Geoff say to you before we left?”

“He asked me to leave this for Jack…” Michael whispers, pulling a ring on a chain out of the pocket of his robes. “He said not to give it to him directly, or say anything about it. I guess it belonged to Jack when he traveled through the southlands… He lost it and Geoff’s been meaning to bring it back to him.”

“That’s sweet of him.” Gavin smiles. “And I think he’s sweet on you.”

“Oh come on. No he’s not.” Michael’s cheeks go pink and Gavin just hums, smiling fondly. “Are you hungry? We could eat before we go home.”

“I could eat.”

“Stay here.” Michael kisses his forehead quickly before ducking into the bakery and coming back out with two small cakes and two cups of tea balanced carefully in his hands. “Jackie says they’re on the house.” He smiles as he sets them down.

“What a dear.” Gavin rubs his temple with one hand as he takes a sip. “What are we going to tell Jack?”

“I’m not entirely sure yet. You collapsed, obviously. You might have to come up with why though.”

“I can do that.” Gavin hesitates when he reaches for Michael’s hand. “Thank you… for covering for me. And I’m sorry I didn’t just tell you the truth from the start.”

“You were scared.” Michael shrugs and reaches out the rest of the way to squeeze his hand. “And with the way some people act around here… I can’t say I blame you.”

“Gavin? Michael? What are you two doing here?” Gavin looks up sharply when he hears Jack’s voice. “Gods, what happened to you?” He hurries forward and cups Gavin’s cheek gently when he sees the state of him. “Are you alright?”

“I’m alright Jack.” Gavin gives him a shaky smile.

“He collapsed a little after we left the McClaine house. I- I don’t know what happened.” Michael puts in.

“Come on, let’s get you home sweetheart.” Jack helps him stand slowly and wraps an arm around his waist to keep him steady. “You haven’t been sleeping lately have you?”

“Not well.” Gavin half lies, leaning against Jack’s side as they go back into the temple together. “Will you stay with me for a while Jack?” With Jack’s back turned to him, Gavin nods at Michael, giving him silent permission to drop Geoff’s gift somewhere.

“Of course I will.” Jack puts his hands on his shoulders. They’re larger than Michael’s- even Ryan’s- and they’re so warm, he sighs happily as he leans into the gentle, familiar touch.

“Did Madeline tell you why she called for Michael and I?”

“No. I just figured it was because you two were friends.”

“Julia- her new daughter- well… She’s like me, Jack.” The fear that had gripped him when he first saw the little mark comes back with a vengeance. After everything Geoff had shown him, and all the things that had happened to him… He was frightened for the little life.

“My god… Does her husband know?” Jack wraps him in a tight hug.

“Not yet.” He whispers into his shoulder. “I promised I would help her as much as I could.”

“That’s very kind of you Gavin.” Jack smiles and kisses his cheek. “You’ve always been so kind.” Gavin blushes and looks down at his feet, but his chin is tipped back up gently and he makes a little noise of surprise when Jack’s lips meet his.

“What’s that for?” He laughs breathlessly.

“You said you wanted kisses again.” Jack chuckles as he helps him into bed. “Get some rest. Michael and I will get you for dinner.”

“Thank you love.” Gavin gives Jack a quick kiss on his cheek and settles under the covers.

“ _ Vähän vaola- oh Gavin- darling… That’s it my love. Take whatever you need- I’ll give you the world. _ ”

Gavin wakes what must be hours later with a gasp. His room is dark now- not even the hearth is lit and despite the chill of the room he’s sweating and he’s panting. He only remembers bits of the dream he’d been yanked out of, but what stands out to him is the lingering feeling of Ryan’s hands on his waist- Ryan’s body under his and the light in his adoring eyes.

“Gavin? Are you alright?” Jack’s voice cuts through the blissful fog and Gavin turns with a hand over his racing heart.

“Y-Yeah… Yeah I’m alright. B-Bad dream, I think.”

“Are you hungry?” In the dim light that filters in from the hallway Gavin can see the concern on Jack’s face and he climbs out of bed slowly.

“Starving.” He smiles and joins Jack in the hallway.

“So. Bad dreams?” Jack puts an arm around his shoulders as they walk.

“I don’t really know actually. I can’t remember any of it. If anything comes back I’ll tell you about it though.” Jack gives him a little squeeze and when they step into the dining hall Michael looks up from his plate. He looks tired- more tired than he has in a long while and Gavin’s heart twists in his chest. He knows that it’s because of him and guilt coils around him tight.

“Have a good nap Gavvy?”

“More or less.” He leans down to give Michael a kiss on the cheek. “You look tired love. You feel alright?”

“Just tired is all. Been a long day. You really worried me earlier.” Michael returns the little kiss and gestures to the empty seat next to him. “Eat up, then we can go back to bed. Sound good?”

“That sounds wonderful.” Gavin’s head is still pounding. He does his best to ignore it as he eats but eventually it’s too much and he sets his fork down, pressing the heel of his hand against his eye and groaning.

“Gav?”

“Jack, darling, could you get me something to help with this? Something to help me sleep?” He sighs.

“Of course.” Jack gets up from the table and heads back to the kitchen.

“Are you okay?” Another priest- Alfredo- sits across the table from them and frowns.

“I’m fine. Just a headache. Don’t you worry. How was your day dear? Doing well?”

“I’m great.” Alfredo’s bright smile is a breath of fresh air after a long day of stress he’d never imagined. “Trevor came to visit today. We’re going to go on a trip together next month to meet his family.”

“Oh that’s lovely! I’m so happy for you.” Gavin smiles.

“That’s great Alfredo.” Michael reaches across the table to snag a bit of a sweet roll on the edge of Alfredo’s plate, and gets a smack on the back of his hand for his trouble. “Where does his family live?”

“West Plains.” He answers around his next bite. “So I might be gone for a while.”

“I think we can manage for a bit.” Jack chuckles as he sets a cup of tea down for Gavin. “You just have a good time, alright?”

“I’ll give it my best shot.”

Gavin doesn’t have much trouble falling asleep- not with the tea Jack had made him and with Michael behind him, holding him close- but his dreams are plagued, again, by Ryan and the dark purple glow of his light. He wakes up several times through the night but Michael’s arms stay tight around him and he drifts off again easily.

The last dream he wakes up from shakes him harder than anything. Pressed up between Ryan  _ and _ Geoff- their hands and lips on him. Incessant, hungry kisses that leave him breathless and begging for more. When he wakes up this time, it wakes Michael as well and he sits up slowly, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

“Gavvy?”

“G-Go back to sleep love.” Gavin gasps, running a hand back through his hair anxiously. “I-It’s alright. Just go back to sleep.”

“What were you dreaming about? You’ve been making noise for a while now.”

“I-It was about Ryan. And Geoff.” He can feel his cheeks going pink when Michael stares at him. There’s a hunger in his eyes that makes him shudder and he leans in for a kiss- hoping to ease the tension that sits coiled in his stomach. It doesn’t work. Not when Michael tightens his grip on him and presses even closer.

“ _ Oh _ .” He laughs quietly against his lips. “ _ That _ kind of dream. You want me to help you?”

“Would you?” Gavin breathes. It’s still dark out- still quiet in the temple and he bites his lip to hold back a moan, not wanting to break that silence even with Michael’s hands on him.

Gavin doesn’t wake up again until someone comes knocking on their bedroom door, and Michael scrambles up to answer it. There’s a little bit of panic before he hears Jack’s voice on the other side of the door while Michael scrambles to get dressed. Of course everybody  _ knows _ about how close they are, but he’s never been  _ caught _ with Michael by anyone other than Jack, and neither of them are keen on that happening.

“Are you two up yet?” There’s an edge to Jack’s voice that makes him nervous, and he stays in bed when the door opens. “Did you two see anyone come around here last night?” He asks, his voice shaking.

“No. We went to bed right after dinner. Why? What happened?” Michael frowns up at him, sitting back down on the edge of Gavin’s bed.

“Someone left this around the handle of my door.” Jack holds out the ring and chain that Geoff had given to Michael.

“A ring?” Michael’s good at lying- he raises an eyebrow. “Secret admirer?” He teases.

“It was mine years ago.”

“Maybe someone who knew you when you lost it brought it back to you. Or maybe a replacement?”

“No, it’s the same one.” Jack turns the ring between his fingers slowly. “There’s an engraving on the inside. My family’s crest.”

“Well if you lost it here in town, I’m sure anyone would know it belongs to you.” Gavin smiles a little, but the worry doesn’t lift from Jack’s eyes.

“I didn’t lose it here… I lost it in the southlands…”

“Oh-” Gavin looks down at the floor and chews his lip. “That is strange…”

“Interesting timing.” He can feel Jack’s eyes on him but doesn’t look up. “Have you seen that merchant again?”

“No Jack.” He murmurs. “Do you want me to look for him? I’m sure I could-”

“Absolutely not.” He hates it when Jack gets stern with him like this. He hates lying to Jack, but he knows he doesn’t have a choice.

“He’s just trying to help, Jack.” Michael mutters.

“That man is dangerous.” Jack snaps and Gavin fights back tears.

“He can make his own decisions!” Michael fires back. “Why can’t you let him do that!?”

“Because he’s going to get himself killed and I’m not about to let that happen! Whoever that man is I don’t trust him and I’m not letting him get his claws into Gavin! I’m not going to watch him get corrupted!”

“Enough!” Gavin feels it when he shouts- the burst of power that comes out of him and has Michael and Jack covering their ears. He covers his mouth quickly with both hands, the tears he’d been trying to hold back falling freely now. “That- that’s enough. Both of you.” His voice shakes behind his hands and he can feel himself trembling. “You know I hate it when you fight…”

“Gavvy-”

“Out.” He orders. “I want to be alone. I have to be alone.”

“Gav- don’t…” Michael’s voice shakes a little.

“Get. Out.”

“Come on.” Jack puts a hand on Michael’s back and leads him out of the room slowly with a glare over his shoulder. “Get yourself together Gavin.”

The slam of his bedroom door feels…  _ Final _ . And he can’t catch his breath through the sobs that shake him. He has to get out- he can’t stay here- he can’t  _ breathe _ here. He stumbles when he gets to his feet and yanks open the bottom drawer of his dresser, pulling out the plain clothes he’s been hoarding and getting dressed. He hesitates by the door, reaching up to touch the spot in the center of his chest where his necklace would normally sit and debates just leaving it on the side table. But habit outweighs the anger simmering in his belly and he snatches it up.

He hears footsteps outside his door and stops short. He can’t be seen like this. Instead of leaving through the door, he locks it and goes to push open his window. It’s not a long drop to the ground but the thought of jumping makes his stomach churn nonetheless. He’s done it before, of course, but he hesitates every time. The impact when he finally lands rattles his bones and he grits his teeth against the pain that springs up in his ankles.

Gavin sticks close to the shadows of the temple gardens, pulling the hood of his cloak up and slipping out through a gap in the wall. For the first time in years he’s able to walk through the commons without anybody stopping him- without anybody sneering or throwing taunts at him. It’s…  _ nice _ . He makes his way through the commons pushing his anger down further with every step he takes away from home. But without the anger, the guilt comes creeping in and he slows to a stop, holding the pendant around his neck with one shaking hand.

“Gavin? Is that you?” He looks up sharply at Geoff’s voice and takes a step back into the alley, wiping at his eyes and trying to hide. “Darling- what happened?” Geoff looks around quickly before following him and putting a hand on his shoulder. “Come on. You can talk to me.”

“Not here.” He whispers. “I don’t want to be seen…”

“Alright. Is it alright if I take you back to the house?” Gavin nods and Geoff wraps an arm around his shoulders. “Want me to call for Ryan?”

“No… Now that Michael knows that call- I don’t want him following.”

“Where were you two supposed to meet today?”

“A little shop by the deep road. I can show you where it is.” Gavin pulls his cloak tighter around his shoulders to fend off the rain and keeps his head down as they walk. Geoff doesn’t say anything, just keeps a gentle hand on his back and hums quietly. “Here.” He murmurs, nodding at the empty storefront. Geoff leaves a careful mark in the dust and smiles.

“Alright. He’ll know to come home.”

“Thank you.” The route Geoff takes him through town is different than the one Ryan had used, but seems to be even more out of the way- which is exactly what he wants right now. When Geoff takes his hand to help him over the broken wall, there’s a little spark of light between them and he smiles a little.

The little home feels warmer today and Gavin sinks into the chair he’s offered with a sigh, leaning forward to rest his head in his hand.

“Tell me what happened.” Geoff pulls up a chair in front of him and puts a hand on his knee.

“I- I hurt Jack and Michael…” He whispers. “I didn’t mean to but they were just- they wouldn’t stop fighting. Jack found the ring. He- he wasn’t exactly…  _ thrilled. _ He was glad to see it, I think, but he was worried about where it came from. I- I mentioned Ryan- not by name but the other day I said I’d met a merchant at the deep road that may have been a Witch from the southlands. Since then he- he hasn’t looked at me the same. I said I’d look for him but he didn’t want me to.”

“What did he say?”

“He said I would get myself killed… Or corrupted. Michael tried to stand up for me and I- I yelled at both of them. It was like what you showed me yesterday. What Ryan did.” Geoff squeezes his hand in one of his and tips his chin up with the other to look into his eyes.

“Do you think we’re going to hurt you?”

“I- I don’t know. How  _ can _ I know?”

“Well. I suppose you can’t.” Geoff smiles sadly. “I showed you what happened to us for a  _ reason _ Gavin. Now, Jack’s a good man, and I know that first hand- but you’ve got to know that he’ll never understand…”

“I know. That’s why I came back. That’s why I didn’t run from the two of you…”

“He cares about you- so does Michael, I can tell. They’re both just looking out for you. Ryan and I- we can help you. I can’t give much more than my word. But that’s what I’ll give you.” When Geoff leans in and touches their foreheads together gently, Gavin’s breath catches in his chest.

“I-I trust you.” Gavin breathes. “Both of you.”

“Good to hear.” He jerks away when the front door slams. “At least someone does.”

“Ryan! What the hell happened to you?” Geoff jumps to his feet and Gavin’s heart sinks when they turn to see Ryan dripping wet wiping at some blood dripping down his chin from a split lip.

“ _ Michael _ happened.” Ryan laughs.

“What!? But- but he said he would help. He said he would cover for me.” Gavin’s heart races behind his ribs and he feels sick. “I-I know he’s got a temper but he wouldn’t-”

“Well he did.” Ryan hangs his jacket by the door and runs a hand back through his hair while Geoff gets him a towel. “Quite a punch that one. Geoff you’ll have your work cut out for you.” He grins and Gavin can’t help but stare at the blood that stains his teeth.

“Well what did you say to get yourself hit this time my love?” Geoff chuckles, wiping at Ryan’s lip.

“I didn’t even have to open my mouth. He found me and hauled off. Told me I better not have any  _ ill intentions _ with his Gavvy. Poor thing was shaking like a leaf. Thank you dear.” He chuckles as he takes the towel from Geoff.

“S-So he wasn’t mad?”

“Looked more scared than anything, but I don’t know him like you do.”

“Did he say anything about me being gone?”

“No, why?”

“Because I didn’t tell anybody I was leaving.”

“What? Why?” Ryan reaches out to touch his cheek with a frown.

“I-I just… I had to get out. It was too much. I wanted to come here and talk to you. Both of you.”

“He’s had a rough morning.” Geoff calls from the kitchen. “Go change. You’ll catch your death.”

“Well aren’t you a hen today.” Ryan raises an eyebrow but heads to a room near the kitchen, pulling his shirt off over his head as he goes. Gavin can’t help but stare at him- at the scars that span across his back. “Like what you see?” Ryan calls over his shoulder, snapping him out of his daze.

“Oh- I-”

“It’s alright if you want to get a look. I’ve certainly got nothing to hide.”

“Who knew a priest could be so indecent.” Geoff teases, elbowing him in the side as he passes with tea.

“Oh come off it Geoffrey.” Gavin huffs, elbowing him back. “Say. Could you show me how to do that? Seems like it could come in handy.”

“I suppose I could. I will warn you though, it’s not easy.”

“I’m plenty easy.” Ryan chuckles as he joins them in the kitchen.

“I wasn’t talking about you, fool.” Geoff rolls his eyes. “I’m teaching Gavin my little party trick.”

“Oh are you? Think he’s ready for that?”

“Maybe not. But there’s no harm in trying. I’ll start slow, I promise.” Geoff reaches across the table to put a hand over Gavin’s. “Now. Let’s see what’s in that pretty head of yours.” Gavin swallows nervously and tries to think of anything other than the warmth of Geoff’s hand over his- but his mind goes back to his dream when Ryan touches his shoulder. He squeezes his eyes shut to avoid Geoff’s gaze and forces himself to think of the brick walls around the temple.

“Gavin?” Ryan gives his shoulder a squeeze.

“What is it you don’t want me to see?” When he opens his eyes, Geoff looks concerned and the creeping feeling of his magic leaves his mind.

“I just- it’s nothing really…” He looks down at the table but Geoff squeezes his hand gently. “Just a… Just a silly dream.”

“It’s bothering you isn’t it?” Gavin gives him a little nod. “Well I can’t help if you don’t let me see.”

“It’s alright. Whatever it is that’s bothering you, Geoff’s seen it before.”

“Doubt it.” He mutters.

“Come on. Let me see.”

“But it’s- it’s embarrassing…”

“Darling I saw what you thought of Ryan during your first visit. Just let me in.” Gavin looks to Ryan who gives him a little shrug. “And just remember. I’ve been living with  _ Ryan _ for over a decade. It’s going to be hard to beat the things I’ve seen in his head.” Geoff grins.

“O-Okay.” At the first little prickle of magic, Gavin closes his eyes again and sighs, trying to relax as much as he can. Ryan stands behind him with both hands on his shoulders and Geoff squeezes his hand. He fights for a moment, but Geoff’s not taking it easy on him now- there’s an incessant prodding in the back of his mind and he can’t keep him out.

“ _ Oh- _ ” Geoff chuckles. “Well.” His magic retreats slowly- almost reluctantly- and Gavin bites his tongue around a moan. “If that’s something you want-”

“I-It was just a dream…” Gavin keeps his eyes shut tight.

“What did you see?” Ryan leans in close to Gavin’s ear and he shivers. “Something I should know about?”

“What do you think Gavin? Should we tell him?” Geoff’s knuckles trail down his cheek gently and Gavin’s eyes snap open.

“I- Y-You tell him.” His face burns with embarrassment and Geoff smirks before leaning in close to Ryan’s ear. He can’t hear what’s said, but Ryan’s grip on his shoulders tightens and he gasps quietly.

“Well.” Ryan clears his throat and takes a step back. “I wouldn’t say no. Geoff?”

“Neither would I. But it’s all up to you Gavin.”

“R-Really?”

“Of course. I-  _ we _ \- wouldn’t do anything to you that you didn’t want. Isn’t that right Ryan?” Geoff moves to stand on one side of him with a hand on his back.

“Quite right Geoffrey.” Ryan smiles and stands on his other side. “Now, there’s no shame in telling me  _ exactly _ what you want darling.” His voice drops to a low whisper in his ear and Gavin shivers.

“I don’t- I don’t know what I want.”

“How about something to eat for starters?” Geoff laughs quietly, backing away and going back to the kitchen. “You left the temple first thing in the morning right? You must be hungry.”

“Are you always this frustrating?” Gavin huffs, turning to glare over his shoulder.

“He’s absolutely insufferable.” Ryan hums, sitting in the empty chair next to him and smiling. “But you get used to it. So… Why did you run away from the temple?” He reaches out for his hand, and Gavin lets him take it.

“I hurt Jack and Michael. That shout- what Geoff showed me. The thing you did… I think I did…  _ that _ this morning and. T-They were okay but what if they hadn’t been? Maybe- maybe Jack was right…”

“What do you mean darling?” Ryan frowns and holds a little tighter to his hand.

“He said… That magic always corrupts. He’s always told me that. Everyone has. Maybe they were all right…”

“There’s a difference between corruption and learning your power. You’ve been stifled- your magic’s growth was stunted. And now that you’ve gotten a taste of what your power is  _ supposed _ to feel like, you’re craving that feeling. And that’s  _ okay _ .” Ryan smiles. “I might not seem like the best candidate for teaching you how to reign that feeling in- after what you saw, I wouldn’t blame you for not trusting me. But I will help you.”

“You will?”

“Of course. And if you want someone a little more…  _ Stable _ … Geoff can help too.”

“Don’t sell yourself short  _ Kjæreste _ . You’ve been good since then.” Geoff kisses the top of Ryan’s head as he passes. “Besides, since you know what that loss of control feels like better than I do, you can spot it.”

“Ah, but you’re more patient than I am.” Ryan sighs. “Remember Matt?”

“Of course I remember Matt.” Geoff laughs. “He gave you quite a run for your money. He’s almost as stubborn as you are.” Gavin hardly even notices that Geoff isn’t holding the plates he sets down around the table. The thrum of magic in the air here is so constant that he can’t tell if one of them is actually using it or if it’s just the leftover energy seeping out of the wood, but it’s comforting and he can’t help but think that he could get used to this feeling.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Talk of blood magic. Mentions of willingly giving blood and implications of attempts at self harm for that purpose.
> 
> Rating bump in the next chapter.

“So Gavin. Where did you live before here?” Geoff asks a few hours later. Gavin’s sitting outside with him and Ryan, enjoying what seems to be a rare moment of sunshine in the forest and watching Geoff meticulously tend a small garden.

“I don’t actually know…” He murmurs, picking at a thread on his sleeve. “I think I was about seventeen when I showed up. I’ve never been able to figure it out. Everything before walking up the temple steps is just… Gone.” Ryan and Geoff both turn to look at him.

“You don’t remember anything?”

“Not really. I have a few vague memories of my parents, and a cat we had but that’s it.” Gavin shrugs. “It’s not all bad I suppose.” He sighs, looking up at the sky that peeks between the branches. “There must be a reason I forgot, right? Something must have happened.”

“What do you mean?”

“Haven’t you ever forgotten something bad that happened?”

“What happened back home is a little fuzzy.” Ryan sighs. “But there are a lot of factors there. I was pretty heavily drugged for a while. But other than that- not really.”

“Well Jack seems to think that something must have happened to me in my childhood that was bad enough to make me forget… Everything.” Geoff and Ryan share a concerned look.

“Gavin… This is dangerous.” Geoff moves a little closer, but Gavin shifts away. His voice is too similar to Jack’s when he lectures him.

“Darling, if something that bad  _ did _ happen to you-” Ryan breaks off and looks over at Geoff.

“Jack… May be right.”

“What do you- what do you mean?” Gavin’s heart drops into his stomach.

“Well. There were the riots in West Plains. But those probably happened before you were born.” Geoff mutters, running a hand back through his hair. “The war was pretty much over by the time you were born too.”

“Do you know where you’re from?”

“Out east, probably. That’s what Jack thinks.”

“Oh- Geoff, you don’t think…” Ryan puts a hand over his mouth.

“The Blight…”

“The what?” Gavin swallows nervously. Geoff and Ryan look terrified- they even scoot back a bit to stare at him.

“The Blight was… It was a sickness that  _ decimated _ the Eastern Kingdom. Mostly Witches.” Geoff explains slowly. “It- there was nothing that could be done. There was no cure. Either you fought it off on your own or it killed you. Witches who got sick- well their  _ magic _ got sick too. We had a friend from the east who’d gotten sick when he was young. He was… Not right.”

“He was wonderful most of the time but…” Ryan looks down and sighs. “If he used his magic at all it was…  _ Awful _ .”

“How do you mean?”

“You can feel when one of us uses our magic right?”

“Yeah.”

“We could feel his too and it just wasn’t right. It was-  _ bitter _ .” Ryan’s face twists in pain. “I tried to help him…”

“Ryan, it’s okay…” Geoff puts a hand on Ryan’s shoulder. “You did everything you could.”

“What happened?”

“Do you want to tell him or…?” Geoff whispers and Ryan takes a deep breath.

“He overdid it. Got into some really dark magic and- well if Jack thinks  _ I _ lost  _ my _ mind… He clearly never met Jeremy. He’s still out there somewhere. These- These were from him.” Ryan pushes up his sleeve to show deep scars up his arm.

“W-What on earth-” Gavin covers his mouth with both hands, his eyes wide.

“Blood magic.” He answers simply. “I thought I was helping- he said he needed me.”

“You didn’t know.” Geoff murmurs.

“No I- I knew… But gods above- You can’t imagine the  _ power _ that comes from magic like that. It’s…” Ryan licks his lips and takes a deep shuddering breath. “It’s  _ addictive _ Gavin.” The dangerous glint he’d seen in Ryan’s eyes the first day they met is back and Gavin shivers. “It’s  _ seductive _ . And nobody used that power like Jeremy did.”

“Ryan. Calm down.” Geoff grabs Ryan’s arm when his marks light up. “Don’t.”

“I’m sorry.” Ryan smiles a little and pushes his sleeve back down. “Gavin- You need to promise me you’ll stay away from it.”

“Well that shouldn’t be too difficult.” Gavin swallows down the sick feeling that churns in his stomach. “After all. I’ll have you to keep an eye on me.” He puts a hand over Ryan’s.

“I can’t be there all the time.” Ryan chuckles, turning his hand to give Gavin’s fingers a squeeze. “In fact, I should probably take you back soon.” He glances toward the city with a sad little smile. “It’s getting dark.”

“I’m not going back…”

“ _ What? _ ” Geoff jumps to his feet and Ryan squeezes his hand.

“Not tonight at least. I- I can’t… Not after what I did this morning.”

“G-Gavin- You can’t stay out here. They’ll come looking for you- if they find Ryan and I-” Geoff paces nervously, his tattoos glowing brighter than Gavin’s seen them so far.

“Don’t worry.” Ryan stands and puts his hands on Geoff’s shoulders. “They won’t come out this far. And if they do, we can hide. Gavin needs us.” Geoff chews his lip and Ryan leans in to kiss his cheek. “Please Geoff.”

“Alright. Okay. Alright. But you have to go back tomorrow night, understand?”

“I understand.” Gavin nods, getting to his feet slowly. “Thank you. I promise, I’ll go home tomorrow afternoon.” Geoff smiles and wraps him in a hug. “But- what if they don’t want me back…?”

“If they do  _ anything _ to you, they’ll have us to answer to.” Geoff squeezes him tighter. “And you can stay here if they tell you to leave. We’d be more than happy to have you here. Wouldn’t we Ryan?”

“Of course darling.” Ryan presses up to hug him from behind and Gavin sighs into Geoff’s shoulder. It’s so warm here between them- comfortable in a way that nothing has ever been. “ _ Vähän vaola _ .” He laughs quietly in his ear. “Look at you. You’ve got such a pretty light. Doesn’t he Geoff?”

“He really does.” Geoff’s voice is low and sweet in his other ear and Gavin’s knees go a little weak. “Never seen anything like it.”

“Really?” Gavin leans back a little, straight into Ryan’s chest, and Geoff puts a finger under his chin to keep his face tipped up.

“Your eyes, too. They’re so…”

“Interesting?” Gavin finishes with a shaky laugh.

“Yeah.”

“That’s what Jack and Michael say too.” His stomach lurches with guilt again but Ryan’s strong arms around him bring him back.

“There’s something a little… familiar about them.” Geoff’s brows knit together a little and Gavin sees hesitance there for the first time. “They’re fascinating. I wonder if that’s your magic I see in there. I could do a little digging.”

“I-I’d like to know too.” He swallows back his nerves when Geoff’s eyes dart down and he can’t help licking his lips. Geoff pulls in a sharp breath and his grip on his waist tightens. “Geoff?” He breathes and Geoff clears his throat, stepping away suddenly.

“I- I’ll go get dinner started.” He gives Gavin a crooked little smile and a gentle pat on the cheek before he goes back into the house, leaving him leaning breathlessly against Ryan’s chest.

“Don’t mind him.” Ryan murmurs against his neck, giving him little kisses that make him weak. “He just knows how possessive I can get.”

“P-Possessive?”

“He seems to think that just because I saw you first, I won’t want him touching you.” Ryan’s breath is warm against his skin and he sighs, tipping his head back. “That I have a  _ claim _ on you. Which I don’t. Unless, of course,  _ you _ think I do.”

“I-” Gavin moans softly and Ryan reaches up to cover his mouth with one hand, his other arm staying wrapped snugly around his chest to hold him in place.

“Shh. He’ll hear you.” Ryan teases. “Is this okay darling?” Gavin nods eagerly and Ryan gasps softly, his grip on him going a little tighter. “Oh you spoil me. Do you know just how lovely you are? Do you know what you do to me? How much I’ve thought about you these last few days?”

“I-I’ve been thinking about you too.” Gavin whispers when Ryan moves his hand away from his mouth. “Dreaming of you-”

“Geoff told me part of it.” Ryan chuckles. “Why don’t you tell me the rest?”

“N-Not here.” Gavin blushes. Ryan turns him around and tips his chin up gently, his other hand gentle on his hip. “What about you?” He finds a little bit of his boldness again as he looks into Ryan’s eyes, pressing up close to his chest.

“Oh now  _ that _ you’re really not ready for.” Ryan kisses him gently. “Sweet thing like you? I would  _ ruin _ you if you gave me the chance.” Gavin takes a shaky little breath and licks his lips.

“Do it.” He breathes against Ryan’s lips.

“What?”

“ _ Ruin _ me Ryan.”

There’s a beat of silence and Gavin worries for a moment that he’s gone a step too far- that Ryan’s honor is stronger than his lust and that he won’t really lay a hand on him. He can’t stand the thought of spending another night just  _ dreaming _ about what Ryan would feel like over him-  _ inside _ him. But when Ryan grabs him by the back of the neck and pulls him into a kiss that makes him moan- perhaps a little too loud if the way his grip tightens is anything to go by- that worry fades. Replaced with a desperation he’s never quite felt before, even with Michael.

“Think you can wait?” Ryan murmurs between soft little kisses. “Just until tonight. I promise.”

“I-I can wait.” He whispers. “G-Geoff won’t mind will he?”

“Geoffrey sleeps like the dead, darling.” Ryan chuckles, running his fingers back through his hair. “Even if he wakes up, he won’t mind. And he won’t bother us. Not until you’re ready for him to join us. If, of course, that’s something you want.”

“I- I think I do. Someday.” He smiles and Ryan kisses his cheek. “Will you tell me more about Jeremy?” He asks softly.

“Come sit.” Ryan leads him to the porch and sits next to him, rolling his sleeve up again and tracing his scars with his fingertips. “Geoff already knows I think so but. Jeremy was  _ incredible _ . The power he had was unmatched. And when he gave me a taste of that…” He smiles almost  _ fondly _ at the scars, his voice shaking. “You can’t even imagine how amazing it felt.”

“Did those hurt?”

“No. Not at all. Not when Jeremy did it.” He sighs. “I never could do it myself back then. But it was so  _ good _ when he did it. It was addictive. I knew that what he was doing was wrong. Blood magic is… Well there’s no coming back from it or the destruction that comes from it. But by the gods- I  _ needed _ him. And he said he needed me.”

“Did you love him?”

“I suppose I did, in a way. But I was dependent on him. I kept going back, no matter how wrong it was. Because no matter how wrong it was- it just felt so right.” Ryan sighs and looks over at him. “I don’t want you to fall into the same trap with Geoff and I, understand?”

“What do you mean?” Gavin frowns.

“If what we have feels wrong I want you to walk away. I want you to go back to your life- back to pretty Michael and sweet Jack. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I’ve already been hurt, Ryan. I’ve been lied to for so long- of course this feels wrong now. I was always told my own people were dangerous- that we weren’t to be trusted.” Gavin’s voice catches in his throat. “I was always told that  _ I _ was wrong just for  _ existing _ so of course being here with you and giving into what I’ve always wanted feels wrong.” Ryan reaches out to wipe at his tears gently. “But I need this- need to be seen for who I am.  _ Loved _ for who I am, not  _ in spite _ of who I am.”

“Oh darling…” Ryan wraps him up in his arms and shushes him softly, just letting him cry on his shoulder.

“Michael and Jack- they’re kind enough, and I love them. But their love feels… Conditional. Like they’ll stop loving me if I actually find my power and become more than just-  _ this _ .” He’s never said it outloud before and now it feels more true than ever before.

“I’m sure that’s not true…” Ryan whispers. “I’m sure of it.”

“They’re afraid of me just like everybody else.” He sobs. “I want to feel  _ right _ , Ryan. Even if I have to feel wrong before I get there.”

“Is everything alright?” He sniffles and looks up at Geoff’s voice. “ _ Kjæreste _ ? Ryan- what happened?”

“E-Everything’s fine Geoffrey.” Gavin smiles a little and wipes at his eyes. “It’s wonderful.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating change! I know I mentioned in the notes of the first chapter but just to reiterate: I’m a trans guy myself so any language used in reference to bits is what I’m personally comfortable with. 
> 
> (important note at the end)

Geoff proves to be a wonderful cook, even better than the cooks in the temple and Gavin eagerly helps himself to seconds- much to Geoff’s delight. Ryan watches him fondly, and the three of them speak easily through the hours, until Gavin looks up and sees the dark of night outside the window and swallows nervously.

“If you want to go back, it’s not too late.” Ryan assures him. “I’ll take you right up to the temple steps myself if you’d like.”

“No. No I’m alright. I want to stay.” Gavin forces a little smile. “And I’ll still go home tomorrow. I feel a bit bad. Making them worry. If they are worried…”

“I’m sure they are.” Geoff puts a gentle hand over his. “If Jack’s the same man I knew before, he’s worried sick right now. And Michael seems quite fond of you. They’ll be overjoyed to see you tomorrow.”

“And if they aren’t?”

“I told you before. If anyone lays a finger on you, they’ll have to answer to us.” Geoff’s grin is sharp and dangerous but Gavin’s never felt safer.

“Thank you Geoff. For everything.”

“Don’t mention it.” Geoff chuckles. “Now, did you want to take the guest bed or will you be staying in Ryan’s bed?” He smirks and Gavin blushes.

“W-With Ryan. I-If you don’t mind.”

“Not at all. Sleep well  _ Kjæreste _ .” Geoff leans down to kiss him on the cheek, then turns to give Ryan a quick kiss as well. “Be nice.” He warns playfully.

“I’m always nice Geoffrey.” Ryan chuckles and Geoff raises an eyebrow with a little hum. “Well. I’m nice until someone asks to have it any other way.” The way Ryan looks him over, licking his lips and smirking, makes Gavin shiver.

“Just call for me if he gets out of hand.” Geoff whispers in his ear, giving his shoulder a little squeeze. He can’t tell if he’s joking or not- but there’s a thrill that settles low and warm in his belly at the thought of breaking Ryan’s control. Ryan rolls his eyes at Geoff as he gets up and offers a hand to help Gavin to his feet.

“I’m not  _ that _ bad.” He huffs. “Come on. Let’s get you settled in.” Gavin follows Ryan easily and gasps quietly when he’s pulled into the bedroom.

“Oh Ryan- It’s beautiful.” He breathes, looking around with wide eyes. Little jars line the walls, holding candles that flare to life when they enter the room, books fill each shelf, thick furs and blankets cover the bed and he catches the glint of a few gold chains hanging from nails stuck in the wall.

“You think so? High praise from someone as beautiful as you.” Ryan kisses his cheek and runs his hands up and down his arms slowly. Another little glint of gold catches his eye and Gavin takes a step away from Ryan to get a better look.

“Is this…?” He picks up the jar and the little gold lights flash brighter.

“It’s yours.” Ryan smiles. “I hope you don’t mind. They sort of followed me home the other day.”

“How are they still here? When I tried again at home they faded so fast.”

“I gave them a little help.” Ryan’s arms wrap around him gently and Gavin leans into his chest with a smile and a sigh. “Just wanted a little something to remember you by.”

“That’s so sweet.” Gavin blushes and turns in Ryan’s embrace to wrap his arms around his neck and bump their noses together. Ryan hugs him tighter and kisses him slowly, one hand coming up to cup his cheek, the other holding his waist.

“You’re even sweeter.” Ryan chuckles against his lips before kissing him again- deeper now. More urgently.

“R-Ryan- Wait.” He gasps between kisses, gripping the front of Ryan’s shirt tight. “T-There’s something I should tell you-” He stammers, pulling away a little.

“I know.” Ryan smiles softly, brushing his thumb over his lower lip.

“You know?”

“I noticed the other night in the garden. I figured you would tell me when you were ready. I don’t mind.”

“You don’t?”

“Of course not.” This time, Gavin leans up for the next kiss- desperate to have Ryan’s hands on him. And he’s not disappointed. Ryan holds him close and backs him up slowly until his knees hit the edge of the bed and he stumbles, falling back into the furs with a gasp. “Now that’s a sight.” Gavin holds his breath as Ryan kneels over him on the edge of the bed.

“I should tell you something else.” Gavin bites his lip nervously. “I-I’ve only ever… Well I’ve only ever been with Jack and Michael s-so I-”

“Shh.” Ryan smiles and leans down to kiss him quiet. “I’ll take care of you darling.” When he ducks down to kiss his throat, Gavin tips his head back and moans softly. “And don’t let what Geoff said scare you. I’m actually very gentle.”

“Never thought any different.” Gavin laughs, but it’s cut off with a gasp when Ryan pushes his hands up his shirt slowly.

“What happened here?” He asks, leaning down to kiss a scar on his side.

“S-Some people weren’t exactly fond of me when I first came here.” He licks his lips nervously and Ryan looks up at him with a pained frown. “I-It’s okay now though. Nobody really pays me much attention anymore.”

“I’m so sorry darling…” Ryan kisses the scar gently and moves on. Gavin sits up a little and lets Ryan help him out of his shirt but pauses again when he puts his hands on the bindings around his chest, sucking in a sharp breath. “Gavin?”

“C-Can it stay? For now?” He whispers.

“I don’t want to hurt you…” Ryan touches his cheek gently and chews his lip for a moment. “How about this.” He pulls his own shirt off and holds it out. “Go ahead and put this on. I won’t look if you don’t want me to.” Gavin’s heart skips a beat- remembering the first time he’d been with Jack. He’d done the same thing.

“Thank you.” He smiles before Ryan turns and makes quick work of his bindings, pulling Ryan’s shirt on over his head- going an extra step and kicking his pants to the end of the bed, blushing when he clears his throat nervously. “O-Okay.”

“Oh  _ darling _ .” Ryan breathes, his eyes trailing over him slowly before he sits down again, putting a hand on his thigh and giving a gentle squeeze. “Look at you… You look lovely. I could get used to seeing you in my clothes.” He chuckles, leaning in for another deep kiss.

“I could get used to wearing them.” He laughs breathlessly and moans when Ryan eases him down onto his back, pushing his shirt up just a bit as he kisses down his neck. He presses a single kiss to the center of his chest through the fabric and moves down to his stomach.

“Tell me if I do anything you don’t like.” Gavin just nods- not trusting his voice not to shake as Ryan spreads his thighs and settles between them, kissing his way lower down his stomach and lifting his legs up over his shoulders.

“Ryan I-  _ oh- _ ” He grabs the blankets under him and his back arches when Ryan licks into him slowly. “T-That’s- y-you don’t have to-”

“Hush.” Ryan kisses his clit gently and pauses for just a moment before slipping two fingers into him and licking in around them.

“I-I can’t-” He moans and covers his mouth with one hand, so used to having to be quiet in his bedroom at the temple that he can’t let himself let himself be loud now.

“Go ahead. You can make noise for me.” Ryan groans, fingering him gently as he sucks him off. Even after being given permission Gavin keeps himself stifled by biting down on his knuckles until Ryan’s fingers push deeper, crooking just right and drawing a sharp gasp from him. “That’s it- oh my love, you’re so wet for me. You’re dripping.” He chuckles.

“Ryan-” Gavin whines and squirms under Ryan’s careful touch but his new lover doesn’t let up until he’s moaning out loud and trembling- his marks glowing bright.

“Are you close darling?”

“Y-Yes-” He forces out between his clenched teeth. “G-Gods please Ryan-  _ please _ !”

“Come for me Gavin- that’s it. I’m here. I’ve got you.” Ryan moans, still fucking him on his fingers and keeping his tongue pressed against his cock- giving him the friction he’s so desperate for, his hips jerking up in search of it. It doesn’t take long at all and he slaps a hand over his mouth again to cover a scream. Still Ryan doesn’t stop- soon tears trail down his cheeks and he keeps a desperate sob hidden behind his hand as he comes again.

“W-Wait- wait-!” He pleads with a little hitch in his voice.

“Are you alright?” Ryan’s fingers go still inside him and he looks up panting, his pupils blown wide and slick shining on his lips.

“I-I’m fine just- bloody hell-” He sniffles and gives a shaky laugh, wiping his eyes as Ryan sits up and pulls his fingers out slowly, letting them trail up over his cock lightly- making him shudder. “Been a long time since I’ve come like that.”

“Well that’s a surprise. Michael seems like quite a firecracker.” Ryan laughs and fumbles to pick up a discarded shirt on the floor to wipe his hand and face before leaning down to give him a sweet kiss.

“He is. And he’s wonderful but this was… different somehow.”

“You’ve never been with another Witch.” Ryan kisses him again, and Gavin sits up into it.

“Does it really make that much of a difference?” Gavin lets Ryan pull him up to his side and lays back with him, leaning against his chest.

“I’ve found that it can. Something about someone else’s magic being so close to your own is so intimate.” Ryan’s fingertips trail slowly along his marks and he smiles when they light up under his touch. “I can’t really explain it.”

“Well it’s lovely- whatever it is.” Gavin looks up for a kiss, humming softly when Ryan’s lips part easily under his. It isn’t long before Ryan’s arm tightens around him and Gavin shifts easily to straddle his lap, moaning when he feels just how hard he is. “Do you need something from me Ryan?” He whispers against his lips.

“If you need more time-” Ryan starts but Gavin cuts him off with another kiss, reaching down between them to stroke his cock. “Gav-” He gasps.

“I’m ready for more.” Gavin insists. He doesn’t give Ryan a chance to say anything else before he sinks down onto him with a moan- falling forward but catching himself against Ryan’s shoulders. “ _ Gods- _ ”

“Oh  _ fuck- _ ” Ryan chokes, his hands coming up to hold Gavin by the waist. “Gavin- Oh my god-”

“Y-You’re s-so big Ryan-” Gavin does his best to catch his breath before he tries to move again. “I-I’ve never been so full-” He pants, bracing himself with his hands on Ryan’s chest and rocking his hips forward slowly.

“ _ Vähän vaola-  _ oh Gavin- darling… That’s it my love. Take whatever you need- I’ll give you the world.” Ryan smiles up at him and grips his hips tighter. Somewhere in the back of his mind the words sound familiar but Gavin can’t bring himself to care when he sees the light in Ryan’s eyes. They’re so bright and he can’t look away- the purple of his marks shines through the blue and he wants to see more.

“I- I don’t know how long I can-” He gasps, starting a smooth, quick pace- Ryan’s fingers digging into his hips hard enough that he’s sure they’ll leave a bruise. “Don’t know how long I can keep this up.”

“You just tell me if you need to move.” Ryan laughs a little, licking his lips and pushing his hips up to meet Gavin’s. “I’d be  _ more _ than happy to fuck you into the mattress.” His chuckle sends a shiver down Gavin’s spine and he moans, digging his nails into Ryan’s shoulders as he rides him.

“Ryan- Ryan  _ please _ \- I need-”

“What do you need my love? Anything- anything.” There’s a new note of desperation in Ryan’s voice as he pants.

“Need to come- please!”

“I’ll get you off as many times as you want. Promise.” One of Ryan’s hands moves from his hip to settle between them, his thumb pressing just hard enough against his cock to throw Gavin over the edge- a near scream tearing from his throat as he comes around Ryan’s cock, leaning forward over him, their foreheads just touching. “That’s it- come for me Gavvy.” Ryan moans, thrusting up into him, keeping the same pace and fucking him straight through his orgasm.

“M-More-” He begs, kissing Ryan as it passes, leaving him trembling. “A-Again.”

“You’re insatiable.” Ryan chuckles, wrapping an arm around his waist and holding him close for a deep kiss. “Hold on darling.” He pushes himself up slowly but freezes and gasps, biting his lip. “Gods- You’re so tight.” He groans. “I don’t know how long I’ll last.”

“Will you…” Gavin chews his lip nervously and leans into Ryan’s touch when he reaches up to stroke his cheek gently.

“What?”

“Will you come in me?” He whispers, gasping when he feels Ryan’s cock twitch inside of him.

“Is that what you want?” Ryan pants, rocking up into him. Before Gavin can finish nodding and saying please, Ryan rolls him easily onto his back, barely pulling out as he changes their position.

“Yes-” Gavin laughs breathlessly, a familiar note of mania making his voice shake. “G-Give it to me Ryan.” Ryan pauses for a moment- just staring at him before a hunger he’s never seen flashes in his eyes. “ _ Ruin _ me.”

“Oh there it is.  _ That’s _ what I like to hear.” He grins and Gavin can’t help the delirious laugh that bubbles up out of him when Ryan fucks into him  _ deep _ . He reaches up to wrap his arms around Ryan’s neck, digging his nails into his back and pulling him down for a kiss that’s more a desperate clash of their teeth than anything.

“ _ Fuck- _ ” He pants between kisses. “ _ Yes- _ R-Right there-” He gasps when Ryan breaks away from their kiss to mouth at his neck, soft kisses following deep bites that feel almost feral-  _ claiming _ bites that are sure to leave dark bruises. “H-Harder?” He asks, looking up into Ryan’s eyes.

“Of course  _ vähän vaola _ .” Ryan pins one of his arms up over his head and trails his fingers down his marks, then over his shoulder to his throat- he gasps at the thought of those fingers wrapped around his throat- then down to hold him down by the center of his chest. He sees a touch of that inky blackness creeping up Ryan’s arm through his marks- but he’s not afraid of that darkness now. He almost…  _ wants _ it.

“Ryan?”

“Yes darling?”

“S-Show me.” He touches Ryan’s cheek and smiles when he gasps. “I want to see.” He insists.

“Gav-” Ryan moans low in his ear and Gavin shivers. The careful illusion that Ryan keeps up falls away as he leans in for a kiss that takes Gavin’s breath away.

“I-I want more.” He begs with new tears brimming in his eyes. “I’m so- I’m so close.”

“I know you are.” Ryan coos, nipping at his neck again. “Can you hold out a little longer for me?” Gavin whines and bucks his hips up desperately.

“I don’t want to wait!” He sobs against Ryan’s shoulder, clinging tight to him. “I-I can’t anymore Ryan!”

“Of course you can  _ Kjæreste _ . Just hold on to me. I’ll take care of you- I’ll always take care of you.” Ryan leans back and grips his hips tight as he fucks him. “Just say you’ll be mine and you’ll have everything you could ever want.”

“ _ Oh- _ ” Gavin grips the blankets under him tight as his back arches up off the bed- tightening up around Ryan’s cock. “O-Oh Ryan-” He gasps. “I’m-”

“Coming?” Ryan smirks down at him, reaching down to rub his clit and groaning when he nods. "Just two little words darling. Two tiny little words and you can have it all."

“I-” Gavin gasps and licks his lips, grinning up at Ryan. “I can’t be tricked s-so easily Mr. Haywood.”

“Smart boy.” Ryan chuckles and kisses him again, fucks into him desperately until they’re both coming with the other’s name on their lips. “Gavin- oh my darling Gavin.” He laughs breathlessly into a slow kiss.

“Ryan I-” Gavin cuts himself off, swallowing around a lump in his throat as he tries to catch his breath and looks up into Ryan’s eyes. His illusion slips back into place slowly, though his eyes still shine with his light.

“What is it?” He asks, touching his cheek gently.

“Thank you.” Gavin settles on that with a little smile, laughing when Ryan bumps their noses together. Ryan’s hips shift a little and he gasps- over sensitive and near exhausted.

“Can I?” He pauses, holding himself up with trembling arms. “Won’t take long.”

“Y-Yes.” Gavin knows his cheeks are already red, but they feel hotter when Ryan groans and rolls his hips forward slowly- when he stops holding himself up and lays over him, wrapping one arm back around his shoulders to pull him even closer, his other hand resting on his waist, gripping tight to the shirt he’s wearing.

“Someday-” Ryan murmurs in his ear, giving him a little kiss as he thrusts in deep and slow. “Someday I’ll take my time with you. I’ll take you apart piece by piece as gently as you’d like and put you back together in our own time.” Gavin’s glad Ryan’s got his face buried in his neck and that he can’t see the tears that start trailing down his cheeks- though he’s sure he can feel the deep shuddering breaths he takes while he tries to keep himself from crying.

“I’d love that.” Gavin sniffles wrapping his arms tighter around Ryan and pressing his face into his shoulder.

“Are you-?” When Ryan starts to pull away Gavin just holds tighter, his nails digging into his shoulders and his hips jerking up to keep him deep inside him.

“I-I’m fine. Please- please Ryan.” He pants softly. “K-Keep going-” It’s too much all at once but he still wants more. He wants to be good and satisfy- he wants to come one more time. “Y-You don’t have to be- be so gentle.”

“I want to be.” Ryan kisses a tender spot on his throat and somewhere in the back of his mind Gavin wonders how he’ll hide the bruises from Jack and Michael. “G-Gods above- you feel so good Gavvy-”

“Are you going to come again?” Gavin kisses Ryan on the cheek sweetly and smiles when he just nods, too breathless to speak. “Please-”

“Shh.” Ryan turns to kiss him and speeds up his pace just a little- though he’s still so gentle that it’s almost not enough. “I’ve got you.” He pants against his lips. “I’ve got you Gavin-” There’s a little hitch in his voice and his hips stutter. Gavin tenses, arches his back up and tightens around Ryan’s cock. “ _ Fuck- _ ”

“I’m c-coming- R-Ry- _ mm _ !” Gavin’s desperate sob tapers into a moan under Ryan’s next greedy kiss and he trembles as he comes for a fifth time- Ryan’s cock throbbing inside him, the warmth of his come seeping into him, and his low groan in his ear just drawing out the bliss.

“That’s it darling.” Ryan groans and kisses along his throat and shoulder. “There we go.” He smiles and runs his fingers through his hair gently. “You’re so beautiful…” He sighs. Beyond the satisfaction he can see in Ryan’s eyes, Gavin can see something more- a kind of longing and sadness that make his heart twist in his chest. But he says nothing. He just smiles back up at him and kisses his cheek.

“And you’re ridiculously handsome.” He teases gently.

“You flatter me darling.” Ryan laughs quietly as he pulls out slowly and lays down next to him, trailing his fingertips down his arm as he pulls him close. “Are you alright?” Gavin looks up curiously, but that curiosity is answered when Ryan reaches up to touch a spot on his neck that he’s sure carries a bruise now.

“Oh I’m more than alright love.” He smiles, pressing up close to Ryan’s side and soaking in his warmth. “Don’t you worry about me.” Ryan hums softly and runs his fingers through Gavin’s hair.

“We should get you cleaned up before you fall asleep.” Ryan’s quiet chuckle shakes Gavin out of the light fog that’s started creeping in.

“Don’t want to move.” He mumbles into his shoulder, just making him laugh again. “No- Ryan-” He whines when Ryan gets up out of bed and tugs a pair of pants on.

“Come on. Let’s get you into a bath. We’ll make it quick, I promise. I just want you to be comfortable.”

“Oh alright.” Gavin sighs and follows him up, but stumbles and gasps, falling against his chest and laughing nervously. “Still a little weak in the knees.” Ryan holds him up gently, tipping his chin up and kissing his nose.

“Should I carry you?” He teases, raising an eyebrow.

“As nice as that sounds, I’ll walk on my own.” Gavin follows Ryan slowly through the dark house to the bathroom and sits on the edge of the tub as it fills. It’s warmer on this side of the house and he finds himself nodding off before he knows it. When he hears a soft gasp he opens his eyes a little to see Ryan staring at him and hums quietly. “What is it?”

“Just can’t get over how lovely you look.” Ryan doesn’t make any move to come closer, just stares at him- his eyes trailing down to his legs and back up slowly as he turns off the tap.

“Will you get in with me?” He asks softly.

“If you want me to.”

“I’d like that.” Despite his eagerness, Gavin’s nervous. He’s never let anyone but Michael and Jack see him fully undressed.

“Here.” Ryan’s hands come to rest on his waist and he grips the edge of the shirt he’d loaned him. “Is it alright if I help you out of this?” Gavin nods, his heart stuck in his throat and racing. He leaves his eyes shut tight as Ryan helps him out of his shirt and he can feel his blush growing darker. “Darling- look at me.” Ryan murmurs, cupping his cheek gently.

“N-No one’s ever really seen me like this… Only Jack and Michael. A couple doctors as well, I suppose, but it’s not the same.”

“If you don’t want me to see-” Ryan’s eyes are fixed on his, and they don’t move even as his hands come to rest on his bare shoulders.

“I’m alright.” He chokes back a few tears and smiles. “It’s just- just a little strange to let someone look at me.”

“Just tell me if you decide you want to finish up on your own and I’ll leave you to it.” Ryan holds his hand to keep him steady as he gets into the tub, pulling his knees up to his chest.

“I will. Thank you.” He smiles, watching Ryan pull his pants off again before he climbs in behind him and wraps his arms around his middle.

“So soft.” Ryan murmurs into his shoulder, squeezing him gently. “So lovely.”

“You’re warm.” Gavin hums, leaning easily against his chest, his eyes closing again. “Comfortable.” He sighs. “I could stay here for hours.”

“Well I’m not about to let you fall asleep in the bath. Let’s get you cleaned up and back in bed.” Ryan’s hands roam over his stomach slowly- then down a little lower and Gavin squirms. “Shh.” He soothes.

“Ryan…” He whines. “I’m sensitive.” Ryan just chuckles in his ear and shushes him again as he grabs soap from the side of the tub and bends him forward a little to run his hands over his back.

Between Ryan’s gentle hands, the warm water around him and the soft scents of the soap and oils being used on him- Gavin starts to drift off. Every so often Ryan kisses his shoulder or his cheek to keep him awake and he smiles at the concern. Gavin’s knees shake when Ryan helps him stand again and he leans into his sturdy chest, grateful for the support as he gets dressed. A noise in the front room catches his attention and he looks up to see Geoff lounging in a chair off next to the fireplace with a mug in his hands, grinning at them.

“Having a nice night Gavin?”

“Piss off Geoff.” Ryan snaps, holding Gavin a little tighter.

“I’m just asking a question.” Geoff chuckles.

“Ask without undressing him with your eyes.”

“Calm down love.” Gavin leans more heavily against Ryan’s shoulder and holds his hand tight. “If you must know, I’m having a lovely time Geoffrey.”

“Good to hear.”

“I’m sure you’ve already heard plenty.” Ryan mumbles and Geoff smirks.

“Could do with hearing a little more.” Gavin bites his lip and his eyes flick down to Geoff’s lap- the easy splay of his legs does nothing to hide his erection and Gavin blushes all the way down to his collarbones, sputtering nervously.

“Ryan was right.” He huffs. “You are lecherous.” Geoff just laughs and waves them off.

“I’m kidding. Go on. Get some sleep. I’ll see you both in the morning.”

“Good night Geoff.” Ryan smiles.

“ _ God natt kjære _ .” Geoff leans back in his chair and takes another sip from his mug, looking into the fire. The way the light plays across his face makes him look older somehow- makes the dark circles under his eyes even darker, his eyes bluer. He could  _ swear _ his tattoos were shifting. He can see how Ryan was drawn to him. Even relaxed like this he looks powerful.

“See you in the morning.” He whispers as Ryan leads him back to his bedroom.

It’s easy to get comfortable in Ryan’s bed- wrapped in his arms and snuggled up against his chest.

“I’m glad you came back.” Ryan murmurs, kissing the top of his head softly.

“So am I.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's A LOT going on right now. For my thoughts, I came out of Tumblr Retirement to make a post about why I'm sticking around in the community. I did my best to be succinct, but well. Y'all see how I write. It's a long one, but I think it's important.  
> I'm not on Tumblr (alexander--reid) very often, but if you want to get a hold of me there, you can. I'm also on Twitter (alexander__reid) and my DMs are open (mind the double dash and double underscore). I'm here to support every member of our community and I want it known far and wide that I won't stand for bullshit.  
> I know these are trying times. And I don't want to spend too long talking about it in a fic where I hope y'all can come for an escape, so if you want to pop on over and read my full thoughts, please do.  
> There's a few things here coming up in a couple chapters that hit real close to the truth of the world and what's happening (comments made by Gav to others about how he's been hurt) and I want everyone to know that I wrote this all like..... Two months ago. I've been at this for A WHILE. So. It's not a reflection on anyone, or anything, current.
> 
> Okay, that's all. I love you! See you next Sunday!
> 
> -Alex


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another NSFW chapter because I’m a gremlin that Cannot Be Stopped.

Gavin wakes up confused and far too warm the next morning. The arms around him are too thick to be Michael’s but the body pressed up against his back is too solid to be Jack’s. He starts to sit up- panic bubbling up in his chest- but the arms around him go tighter and pull him back down.

“Too early… Go back to sleep.” Ryan’s warm, sleepy voice in his ear drags him back to reality and he sighs, relieved as he sinks back into the bed and Ryan’s arms.

“Not an early riser?” He teases through a yawn.

“Mmm for the most part.” Ryan chuckles in his ear, his hips pressing up against his.

“ _ Oh _ -” Gavin blushes and Ryan kisses the back of his neck, his grip around his waist tightening.

“Do you want it darling?”

“I thought it was too early.” Gavin does his best to stay still even as Ryan rocks against him slowly.

“Never too early with someone as beautiful as you in my bed.” One hand slips easily between his thighs and Gavin gasps when deft fingers press against his clit. “Now, if you don’t want it just tell me.”

“How could I possibly say no when you make such a compelling argument?” He sighs with a smile as Ryan moves him easily, his cock pressed between his thighs.

“I bet I could just slip right in, couldn’t I?” Ryan groans, just grinding against him. “It’d be so easy- you’re already so wet and I’ve barely even touched you.”

“Please- I want it Ryan. Please fuck me.”

“Quiet now darling. Geoff’s an early riser. So unless you want him to hear-” Gavin moans into a pillow when Ryan slips inside. “So tight-”

“R-Ryan!” He moans a little louder and Ryan puts a hand over his mouth to muffle him.

“Do you want Geoff to hear you?”

“Well he seemed to enjoy the show last night.” He pants. “Wonder if he got off listening to us.”

“Would you like that?” Ryan groans, fucking into him deep and slow and drawing a long desperate moan from him. “Oh you  _ would _ . You little  _ tease _ .”

“Can’t tell me you didn’t like it too.” Gavin’s back arches and Ryan’s hand presses against his stomach to keep him in place. “ _ Gods _ -” He’s so deep now. Pressing against every inch of him and drawing him closer and closer to the edge far too quickly. He doesn’t want this to be over yet.

“Come on then- make some pretty noises for Geoff. Give him a good show  _ vähän vaola _ .” There’s not much finesse in the way Ryan fucks him- just quick, short thrusts matched with quick strokes over him that make him squirm and tighten around Ryan’s cock. “Come for me Gavin- come for me.” Ryan pants in his ear. He thinks he hears a soft thump against the wall but doesn’t get a chance to say so when Ryan’s teeth meet his shoulder- making him moan louder.

“G-Gonna- gonna come-”

“That’s it- that’s it. There we go.” Gavin can feel his own slick dripping down along his thighs and gasps when Ryan maneuvers him to lay on his stomach rather than his side and grips his hips tight, pulling him back into his thrusts.

“Fuck, fuck,  _ fuck- _ !” He cries into the pillows as he comes again for Ryan and whimpers when he feels the telltale twitch and throb of his cock as he buries himself in deep and leans over him- kissing his shoulder and groaning low in his ear.

“ _ Shit- _ ” This time he knows he hears Geoff on the other side of the door and he gasps as a second orgasm hits him far too soon after the first and makes him boneless.

“Hear that darling?” Ryan chuckles breathlessly in his ear.

“I- I heard.” He laughs back quietly.

“You want me to let him in?”

“Not this time.” He smirks over his shoulder, speaking just loud enough that he knows Geoff would be able to hear him. “Maybe next time.”

“Now that’s just cruel darling.” Ryan laughs and kisses his cheek as he pulls out slowly and sits down next to him. “Will you be alright on your own for a little while? I’m going to go help the voyeur make breakfast.”

“I’ll be fine.” He watches Ryan carefully as he gets dressed- maps out all the scars on his back and the way his marks twist through them. Smiles when he sees fresher marks. The deep scratches his own nails had left the night before.

“I’ll come get you when it’s ready.” Ryan assures him softly before leaving the room. Gavin hears him speaking in low tones with Geoff and resists the urge to get out of bed and press his ear to the door to hear them better. Instead he gets up slowly and picks his clothes up off the floor. He catches sight of himself half dressed in a mirror on the wall he blushes all the way down to his collarbones when he sees the dark bruises bitten into his neck and shoulders- a few down on his stomach and thighs as well. There’s no way he can hide them all and the panic that comes with that realization freezes him to the spot. People will ask questions. Michael will ask questions-  _ Jack _ will ask questions.

“Gavin?” Geoff appears in the mirror behind him and Gavin gasps, whipping around and stumbling back a step. “Hey!” Geoff catches him by the arm and holds him up. “Are you alright?”

“S-Sorry. Just a little… Well I’m afraid, Geoff.”

“You have nothing to be afraid of.” Geoff frowns, touching his cheek gently.

“How am I going to explain all this…?” Gavin turns back to the mirror and reaches up to touch one of the marks on his throat.

“I could hide them for you.”

“I won’t be able to keep up the illusion.” He murmurs. “It’ll slip and someone will see.”

“I’ll make sure they stay hidden until they fade. I promise. Neither of us want to see you get in trouble. And we don’t want to see you afraid. That fool should have known better.” Geoff sighs. “He didn’t hurt you did he?”

“No.” Gavin smiles a little. “No not at all. If anything he was too gentle.”

“Mmm. Thought I heard you crying for more.” Geoff chuckles as he kisses one of the darker marks on his shoulder and Gavin gasps when it fades away slowly. He can still feel the dull ache but it’s hidden away nicely now.

“Lovely trick Geoffrey.” He hums. “Is that how you plan on hiding all of them?”

“Well, if Ryan lets me.” Geoff’s hands cradle his waist gently. “Would  _ you _ let me?” He nods, breathless and blushing.

“What’s the- oh.” Ryan’s quiet hitch of breath catches Gavin’s attention and he locks eyes with him in the mirror.

“Just offering to cover up the evidence of your little  _ affair _ .” Geoff shoots Ryan a look in the mirror and he at least has the decency to look embarrassed. “You should know better,  _ Kjæreste _ .” He scolds, kissing away another mark.

“Geoff-” Ryan whines, making a move to step closer before Geoff raises an eyebrow and he freezes on the spot. “I can hide them too. Just let me-”

“Ryan. Why don’t you let Gavin decide who helps him?”

“Gavin?” Ryan gives him a pleading look and Gavin chews his lip for a moment.

“I want Geoff to do it.” He smiles shyly and blushes when Geoff grips his hips a little tighter and Ryan makes a little noise of disappointment.

“You had your turn.” Geoff grins and rolls his eyes. “Come lay down.” He coos, leading Gavin back to the bed and easing him down slowly.

“Do you really have to-” Ryan starts, crossing his arms.

“Hush.” Gavin holds his breath when Geoff settles between his knees and smiles down at him. “Where am I allowed to touch you?”

“A-Anywhere but my chest.” He breathes. “Even that’s okay. I-In passing, of course.”

“Alright.” Geoff leans down slowly but pauses. “Can I kiss you?”

“ _ Please _ .” Gavin barely hears Ryan’s groan when Geoff’s lips meet his and he can’t help the way he squirms under his warm, steady weight. “G-Geoff-”

“Shh. Just let me work.” Geoff kisses down his neck slowly and every spot his lips touch tingles with his magic. “Look at what that brute did to you.” He chuckles, trailing his fingers down his side and leaning down to kiss a bruise there.

“Oh like you’ve never-”

“Ryan please.” Geoff looks over his shoulder and Gavin shudders when he feels a little spark between them. “You’ve always been overzealous.” Geoff’s lips trail lower- down to his hip and Gavin moans at the soft touch.

“Geoff I-” He stammers, watching a bruise low on his stomach disappear before Geoff goes even lower and spreads his legs gently to get at the marks on his inner thighs.

“Anything I  _ can’t _ see?” Geoff raises an eyebrow and smirks up at him.

“M-Maybe a couple-” He covers his face, embarrassed beyond belief when Ryan sits on the edge of the bed. “B-But you don’t have to w-worry about those.”

“Geoff’s nothing if he isn’t  _ thorough _ .” Ryan chuckles. “Of course, if you don’t want him to, he won’t.”

“No no! He- he can.” Gavin’s face burns and he peeks out between his fingers, swallowing the lump in his throat. “I-If he wants to.” Geoff pulls his underwear down gently, revealing a few more small bruises that he’s sure would have gone unnoticed. But that thought is chased away when instead of just his lips, Geoff’s tongue touches his skin and his hips buck up in search of more.

“Calm down. You’ll get what you want.” Geoff holds him down by the hips with a surprising amount of strength and licks into him slowly.

“You don’t have to be so gentle with him.” Ryan huffs. Gavin keeps his eyes shut tight, but he can hear him moving closer on the bed.

“You had your turn.” Geoff mutters again, barely pulling away. The gentle care of his touch makes Gavin hot all over and he covers his mouth to hold back a desperate little whimper when fingers slip into him easily.

“That’s it darling.” Ryan chuckles, grabbing his wrist gently to pull his hand away from his mouth. “Geoff’s good, isn’t he?”

“Y-Yes-” Gavin gasps, bucking up against Geoff’s tongue.

“Are you going to come for him?”

“Yes!” It comes out as a sob and Ryan shushes him gently- kissing his forehead and helping Geoff to hold him still as he shakes. “T-There-!” Geoff’s fingers crook up in him and he sucks harder on his cock, making him bite down on his lip to muffle a louder moan, his thighs trembling in Geoff’s grasp- trying to squeeze shut despite his tight grip.

“You sound so pretty when you come Gavin.” Geoff moans against his cunt, still fingering him slowly.

“Looks even prettier.” Ryan kisses his cheek sweetly. Geoff looks up and smiles before sitting up.

“There we go. All those pesky little marks are hidden and they won’t show up unless you come back here. Does that sound good?”

“T-That sounds lovely Geoffrey.” Gavin laughs breathlessly. “Goodness me. You two are a force to be reckoned with.”

“Imagine what it’d be like if we worked together.” Geoff croons, pulling him up for a kiss that Ryan matches with little kisses of his own on his shoulder.

“Maybe next time. Can’t give him too much at once. Wouldn’t want to scare him off, would we Geoff?”

“No, of course not Ryan. Wouldn’t want that at all.”

“Isn’t breakfast ready?” Gavin raises an eyebrow and squirms between the two other Witches.

“ _ Shit. _ ” Ryan scrambles out of bed and back out of the room while Geoff laughs.

“I told you not to leave the stove alone!” He shouts after him.

“Don’t tease him.” Gavin shoves Geoff’s shoulder playfully.

“Gavin, listen.” Geoff lowers his voice and glances at the door, his tone going serious. “About Ryan… Please do be careful with him.”

“What do you mean?”

“He… Listen,  _ Kjæreste. _ I love him  _ very _ much and I’m quite protective of him. He’s not well.” Geoff chews his lip nervously. “He’s a good person but he’s been twisted. Corrupted. Like Jack said… He doesn’t mean any harm, of course, but he can get out of hand. I do my best to keep him reigned in.”

“I- Why are you telling me this?”

“Ryan’s very fond of you. And so am I, if I’m being honest. I don’t want to see anything bad happen to you. I’m sure Jack and Michael wouldn’t want that either. I wasn’t just teasing last night. If he’s ever too much please  _ promise _ me you’ll call for me, okay?”

“I-I promise.” Gavin breathes. “T-Thank you for- well  _ everything _ Geoff.” He smiles, standing up to get dressed. “I really do appreciate it.”

“Do they not let you get off at that fancy temple?” He turns to see Geoff stretched out on his back on the bed with his arms folded behind his head and tosses one of Ryan’s shirts at him.

“Not that. Well, that too I suppose. But what I really mean is thank you for opening your door to me. Offering to teach me.” Geoff stands slowly and steps closer to wrap his arms around him gently.

“Of course. It’s no trouble at all.” Geoff kisses him softly and smiles. “Go on and eat. I’ve got some business to attend to. If I don’t see you before you leave, be safe.”

“You too.” Geoff leads the way out of the room and goes to press an easy kiss to Ryan’s temple, whispering in his ear before heading out the door.

“Have a seat.” Ryan motions at the table, already set. “He warned you about me again didn’t he?”

“What? N-No I-”

“It’s okay. He’s right to be concerned. I haven’t been exactly…  _ stable _ since all that business with the prison back home and my affair with Jeremy.” Ryan smiles calmly and sits across from him. “You have nothing to worry about though. I promise. I’m much better than I used to be- all thanks to Geoff.”

“You two love each other a lot, don’t you?”

“We do.”

“Then why bring me into this?”

“Well you love both Jack and Michael, right?”

“Yes but… Not in the same way, I don’t think. You two seem. Closer.”

“We’ve been together over a decade. But we’ve never been exclusive to each other. He’ll kill me if he finds out I told you, but he and Jack had a brief affair. Jack didn’t lose that ring. He gave it to us.”

“J-Jack lied to me.” Gavin breathes. “All these years… I shouldn’t be surprised I guess. He’s already lied about so much. What’s one more?” He laughs bitterly.

“Keep in mind- people knowing he’d been even  _ remotely _ close to us would have cost him his life.” Ryan frowns. “We’ve all told lies Gavin. Don’t hold this one against him.” Gavin sniffles and pulls away when Ryan reaches out to take his hand and he flinches. “I should get you home soon…”

Gavin stays quiet on the walk back to the city, despite all he wants to say. Ryan seems nervous- more so when they pick their way through the broken section of the wall.

“You- You don’t have to go any further with me. I can get back to the temple on my own from here.” Gavin whispers as Ryan pulls his hood up over his head.

“I have to go this way anyway.” He mutters back. “Got a few things to pick up. I’ll keep an eye on you for now.”

“Ryan I-” A voice down the street makes him freeze. “Oh no- oh no no no. You have to go. You have to go  _ now _ .” He gasps.

“What is it?” Ryan tugs him around a corner into an alley quickly.

“A-A friend of mine. She’s a city guard. I’ll meet you at the wall in a week.” He hears Lindsay’s voice coming closer- it sounds like she’s talking to Fiona- but he can’t let go of Ryan’s hand.

“A week? Gavin I-”

“Please just- I can’t leave again so soon. They’ll be watching me. I’m sorry…” He chokes. “I’ll be there. I promise.”

“I’ll be waiting.” Ryan cups his cheek gently and pulls him in for a quick kiss. “Be careful  _ vähän vaola _ .”

“Stay safe.” Gavin whispers, shaking as he backs away slowly, still holding Ryan’s hand. Lindsay’s laugh sounds a little closer now and Gavin bites his lip to keep it from trembling as he finally lets go and goes back around the corner- just in time to run straight into Lindsay.

“Gavin!?” She catches him easily and holds him up, shock on her face and tears in her eyes. “By the gods- where have you  _ been!? _ ” She shouts.

“Shh! Don’t-”

“Gavin?” His heart drops when he looks past her to see Jack, Michael and Fiona coming up. “Gavin!” Michael runs at him and he’s sure he’s about to get hit- but instead Michael flings his arms around him and muffles a sob in his shoulder. “O-Oh my god-”

“Where the hell were you?” Jack pulls Michael away from him and grabs him roughly by the arm. “We have been looking everywhere for you! Do you have any idea how worried we were?”

“It doesn’t matter where I was.” Gavin snaps, yanking his arm away and taking a couple steps back. “I’m back now. That’s all that matters.” He holds Jack’s gaze and squares his shoulders.

“You and I need to have a talk.” Jack’s voice goes low and serious.

“I’d say that we do.” He shoots back, glancing at the ring still hanging on a chain around Jack’s neck.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Gavvy what’s-” Michael reaches out to put a hand on his shoulder but stops short and stares at his neck. “Where were you?”

“We’ll meet you back at the temple.” Lindsay murmurs, putting a hand on Fiona’s shoulder and leading her away, with a worried glance back at the three of them.

“What the hell is this?” Michael’s voice shakes as he touches what Gavin can only assume is a mark on his throat that Geoff missed. “T-This- this isn’t from me.”

“Michael-” He sees the moment that Michael catches on in his eyes and prays that he’ll keep his promise to cover for him.

“Who were you with?” Jack grabs his arm again when he tries to take another step back, his grip tighter now- tight enough that Gavin’s afraid it’ll bruise- and he stammers out some half formed excuses. “Answer me.” Three whistles in quick succession make his blood run cold and Michael shoots him a panicked look.

“He was with me, Jack.” Jack’s grip on his arm goes slack, his eyes widen and Gavin covers his mouth with his free hand when he sees Ryan come up behind Jack.

“No-”


	10. Chapter 10

Gavin’s heart feels like it’s about to burst and he can’t catch his breath. Jack doesn’t turn around- just stares at him, and all the guilt he’s felt over the last few days bubbles up until he’s crying behind his hand.

“Look at me.” Ryan’s voice is far too steady as he comes closer, but Jack still won’t turn to face him. “Please.”

“You can’t be here.” Jack chokes. “You- you’re dead.”

“I’m not dead Jack. Let go of him.”

“Michael. Take Gavin back to the temple. Now.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Gavin argues, pulling his arm away.

“Maybe you should go,  _ vähän vaola _ .” Ryan gives him a pained look.

“No.” He shakes his head and wipes at his eyes. “I’m- I’m not running.”

“You’re going back.” Jack orders, grabbing him by the shoulder to push him towards Michael.

“Get your hands off of him!” Ryan snaps, finally stepping around Jack to face him- putting himself between him and Gavin. “He hasn’t done anything wrong.”

“He hasn’t done anything wrong? He hasn’t done anything  _ wrong!? _ ” Jack shouts. “Do  _ either _ of you have  _ any idea _ of the consequences of your actions!?”

“Jack he was just-” Michael starts.

“You knew about this?”

“He had nothing to do with this.” Gavin tries to defend him but Jack holds up a hand to silence him.

“No. No of  _ course _ he didn’t. Your partner in crime had nothing to do with you committing an  _ actual _ crime. I  _ trusted _ you Gavin. How could you do this to us?”

“I- You were never supposed to find out.” Gavin whispers, looking down at his feet. “Nobody was supposed to know-”

“Oh yes. Because that makes it better. I vouched for you- I gave the council my word that you wouldn’t be a problem!”

“Jack just  _ listen _ to me!” He sobs. “I didn’t mean for this to happen! I just- I couldn’t stand the lies anymore… I couldn’t stand not knowing where I came from or-or what I’m supposed to be. I went to him for  _ help _ . You don’t understand. You could never understand.”

“No, Gavin,  _ you _ don’t understand. Do you know what could happen to you? Leave the consequence of magic out of it- do you know what would happen to you if someone caught you?”

“Yes Jack…”

“They would have you hanged. And if they found out Michael had been lying for you? He’d be on those gallows with you. Do you want that?”

“No.” He swallows.

“Then go home. Now. I’ll cover for you once and only once. You won’t leave the temple unsupervised. And Michael doesn’t count. You’ll be given a guard. And you.” Jack turns on Ryan who stands a little straighter. Gavin sees his jaw clench and the careful illusion around his eye flickers. “If I ever see you in my city again-”

“What Jack?” Ryan’s voice comes out cold. “What can you do to me that hasn’t already been done?” He laughs bitterly.

“I won’t let you get away.”

“Jack?” All four of them turn at Geoff’s voice and Gavin can’t help the way his heart breaks when he sees the look on Jack’s face. He looks like he’s seen a ghost.

“Geoffrey-” He chokes, taking a tentative step forward. “You- how-?”

“Ryan called for me.” Geoff answers simply. “You haven’t aged a day.” He smiles a little but Jack shakes his head.

“You can’t be here-”

“But I am. They couldn’t kill us back then and they won’t kill us now. What happened to you Jack? Did they feed you more lies about me  _ Kjæreste _ ? You know I never harmed a soul. Neither did Ryan.”

“You killed-”

“The people who  _ tortured _ us for no reason. I showed Gavin the truth.”

“I told you Jack. I went for answers.” Gavin murmurs, moving to stand between Ryan and Geoff. “All you ever told me was that I would get hurt. You never told me what could really happen. You never told me what I was up against.”

“You didn’t need to know.”

“Didn’t need to know? Jack if he’d gone on not knowing how to control himself he would have snapped worse than I did.” Ryan scoffs. “He needs an outlet for all that power that’s built up in him or there could be serious consequences. If you don’t want your temple to fall, I suggest you keep letting him come to us.”

“Is that a threat Haywood?” Jack glares.

“It’s a promise.” Geoff sighs. “We’re just trying to help.”

“And is  _ that _ part of your help?” Jack raises an eyebrow and Gavin blushes when his eyes trail down to his neck.

“T-That was my idea.” He stammers, his face hot. “Not that I need to explain my sex life to you.”

“As far as anyone in the temple who could see you is concerned, you’d be having an affair. They know about you and Michael. About  _ us _ .”

“I wouldn’t- not here-”

“I wouldn’t do anything in-” Ryan starts at the same time.

“Ryan. Shut up.” Jack cuts him off. “Gavin’s always been sneaky.  _ You _ on the other hand. Subtlety is not your strong suit.”

“Oh please Jack.” Ryan rolls his eyes. “I’ve been living in your city for two years and you were none the wiser. I may be affectionate but I’m not an idiot. Neither is Geoff. We know better than anyone what could happen to Gavin if we aren’t careful.”

“I’ll think about it.” Jack reaches out to grab Gavin’s arm again, pulling him away from Geoff and Ryan. “Come on.”

“J-Jack wait-” Gavin tries to pull out of Jack’s strong grip when Geoff grabs Ryan by the shoulder to hold him back.

“We’re going home.”

“But I-”

“Now Gavin.” Jack fixes him with a hard stare.

“You can’t keep him locked up there.” Ryan warns, even as Geoff tries to calm him down and pull him back.

“He’s made his vows. It’s not me keeping him there. It’s his own devotion.” Jack snaps and Ryan’s breath hitches. Gavin watches Geoff ease Ryan back gently with his heart twisting in his chest. “Go.” Michael takes his hand gently and gives him a sympathetic look.

“Come on Gavvy…” He whispers. “Come home…”

“Gavin…” Ryan chokes.

“Let me say goodbye.” Gavin begs, looking up at Jack with tears in his eyes. He sees the softness he’s used to in Jack’s eyes and almost sobs with relief when he nods. “Ryan I-” He cups Ryan’s cheek gently and does his best not to cry. He’s not ready to let go.

“I know.” Ryan leans in to touch their foreheads together. “I know… Don’t worry.” He whispers, low enough that Gavin’s sure Jack won’t hear. “We’ll figure something out.” Gavin’s not expecting the gentle kiss he gets and feels his cheeks grow hot before Geoff steps in and hugs him tight.

“Keep your head down  _ Kjæreste _ .” He whispers. “I’ll be able to check in on you. Keep your mind open and we’ll find you.”

“Geoff-”

“Go on.” Geoff offers him a shaky smile. “Don’t worry. It’ll all be okay.” When Jack’s hand closes over his shoulder the tears start again and Ryan reaches out to wipe them away.

“Don’t cry…” He chokes. “Please-”

“It’s time to go Gavin.” Jack’s voice stays firm and Gavin squeezes his eyes shut as he’s led away. He can’t bear to see the hurt in Ryan and Geoff’s eyes anymore.

“Gavin?” Michael’s fingers link with his and he squeezes.

“I can’t talk right now.” He whispers, swallowing down the sick feeling in his stomach. He can’t breathe- he can’t stop shaking. His whole world feels like it’s crumbling around him. He can hardly see where he’s putting his feet, but the whispers of the people passing in the commons echo in his ears. The guard must have been out all night looking for him- everyone was sure to know that he’d gone missing. Rumors are bound to start spreading.

Gavin barely notices that they’re back at the temple until he hears Fiona and Alfredo’s voices and their footsteps hurrying down the stone steps.

“Gavin? Gavin what happened?” Fiona’s voice shakes as she cups his face in both hands, her eyes wide and full of tears. “Are you alright?” He just shakes his head and keeps walking, aware of the several sets of eyes following him, and Michael’s warmth against his side.

“Gavin get back-”

“Enough Jack!” Gavin finally snaps, turning and looking down at him from a few steps up. He can feel his marks burning and knows that his friends can see them.

“I’m only doing what’s best for you.” Jack takes half a step forward but Fiona puts a hand on his arm to stop him when Gavin matches him, squaring his shoulders.

“Since when do you know what’s best for me?” Gavin pulls his hand away from Michael’s when he feels his magic start to prickle under his skin. The last thing he needs is Michael getting hurt because of him again. “How could you  _ possibly _ know what’s best for me!?”

“Everything I have ever done has been in your best interest! I’m trying to  _ protect _ you!”

“By  _ lying _ to me!?” Gavin’s voice cracks and Michael puts a gentle hand on his back. “Jack I- I thought I could trust you. You said you would always be on my side- but when it comes down to it you-” His breath hitches and he bites his lip to keep it from trembling. “You’re just like the rest of them.” Jack gasps and reels back like he’s been slapped.

“Gavin-”

“I’m tired Jack… I’m going to bed.” He whispers, turning his back on him and making his way inside. Michael follows and he hears quick footsteps coming up behind them but doesn’t turn to see who it is.

“Gav- wait!” Fiona calls after them, grabbing his sleeve when she catches up. “What the hell is going on?”

“I can’t talk about it right now, Fi… I’m sorry.” He puts a hand on her shoulder and leans in to kiss her cheek. “I just… I need some time.”

“I’ll be here when you are ready.” She assures him with a little smile. “I promise.”

“Thank you. I- I appreciate it.” Fiona gives him a quick, tight hug before she backs away slowly. Michael keeps a steady hand on his back and leads him slowly back to their room, glaring at anyone who looks at them.

Once the door is locked behind them, Gavin finally feels like he can breathe again, and he sits on his bed shaking.

“Gavin…” Michael starts slowly. “I need you to tell me-”

“Michael, you can be mad at me later… I need you on my side right now.”

“I’m not mad at you.” Michael sighs and Gavin looks up to see him sitting on his own bed across from him, running his hands through his hair. He looks tired- dark circles under red-rimmed eyes, a fine tremble in his fingers and an uncharacteristic slump to his shoulders. “I- Gavvy I was scared to death.”

“I’m sorry… I just-”

“Shut up.” Michael snaps. “I was out looking for you all night! I went to both libraries- I went to that shop we talked to Geoff and Ryan in- I even went to Madeline’s!” He sobs. “I thought the worst, Gavin! I thought I’d lost you! Either you were dead or you’d run away and I would never see you again and I didn’t even get to say goodbye!”

“I’m sorry!”

“Why didn’t you just tell me you were leaving!?”

“I didn’t know I was going to!” Gavin shouts, getting to his feet. “I just- I couldn’t stay here with Jack looking at me like that! I needed  _ out, _ Michael! And you know he wasn’t about to let me out of this temple!”

“You still should have found me and told me! I told you I would cover for you! Do you realize that the entire city guard was out looking for you!? What would have happened if you and Ryan had still been in town? They would have killed him on the spot! And they would have put you on trial for treason! Not just against the crown- but against the  _ temple _ . I would have lost you forever.”

“I’m sorry- I didn’t mean- I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t mean to scare you…” Gavin whispers. “I’m so sorry… Can you ever forgive me?”

“I-” Michael stares up at him for a moment before standing and cupping his face in both hands. “Of course I can… I love you.”

“I love you too.” He breathes a sigh of relief, but that relief dissolves when he hears a key in the lock on the other side of the door.

“We need to talk.” Jack mutters as he shuts the door behind him.

“I have nothing to say to you.”

“Enough with the games, Gavin. I’m done. You need to tell me everything,  _ now _ , if you want any sort of protection from all of this.”

“I’m not giving them up!”

“Was one of them the ‘merchant’ you met the other day?”

“I’m not talking, Jack.”

“ _ Dammit Gavin! _ ” Jack shouts, slamming his hand on the dresser. “Why are you protecting them!?”

“Why aren’t you!? You loved them too!” Gavin slaps a hand over his mouth when Jack’s eyes go wide and Michael gasps.


	11. Chapter 11

“What did you just say?” Jack’s voice goes low and almost dangerous, and Gavin takes a step back, keeping his mouth covered tight. Again, the air feels like it’s been pulled from his lungs and fear grips him. He hadn’t planned on playing that card yet- or in that manner. “Do you- do you think that you love them? Or maybe the better question is, do you really think that  _ they _ love  _ you _ ?” 

“Jack-”

“They’re  _ using _ you! Can’t you see that!?”

“They aren’t! They just want to help me!”

“With  _ what _ ?”

“You heard what Ryan said- I can’t… I can’t control this.” Gavin holds a hand to his chest, his marks flickering.

“Well you’ve done a decent job of it for thirty someodd years. Why do you think you’re having trouble with it now? Don’t you think it’s a little coincidental that you started having problems right after they showed up?”

“I didn’t just start having these problems! I never talked to you about it because I know you don’t approve of me using my magic! I taught myself little things just to get  _ rid _ of some of it. Lighting candles, making a light… Anything to make it stop hurting-”

“You never told me that it hurt…” Michael whispers, taking his hand gently. He nods, wiping at the tears that trail down his cheeks.

“What do you mean?”

“It just  _ hurts _ \- I don’t know how to explain it. It all just sits there inside me and it hurts if I don’t use it. It’s this deep  _ burn _ in my bones. I’m  _ scared _ , Jack. What if I hurt somebody- like the other day with Michael’s hand when he grabbed me but worse? It’s- I just don’t know what to do anymore and you can’t help me!”

“But you think a murderer can?”

“Geoff showed me what happened. Whatever you were told- it was a lie. Those people did horrible things to them. They didn’t do anything wrong! Are you telling me that if somebody caught me using magic you would let them kill me?”

“Gavin-”

“Answer me. Would you let the king’s guard torture me for weeks and kill me in front of you for something I had no choice in?” Jack stares at him but says nothing. “I’d like you to leave now Jack…”

“Gav, please-”

“Leave. If you loved me the way you said you did, you wouldn’t even have to think about that. You said that you accepted me. You promised that you loved me no matter what.” Gavin’s voice cracks as he pulls his necklace off and holds it out with a shaking hand, not breaking eye contact with Jack the whole time.

“I- Gavin no… No of course I wouldn’t-”

“Then why won’t you believe me?” Gavin keeps the pendant held out toward Jack. “Why won’t you let me get help?”

“I’m scared too.” Jack admits softly. “Darling, I’m terrified… I don’t want to lose you.”

“Then you have to let me do this. I’m going back to them. With or without your blessing.” Gavin holds his breath as Jack reaches out and touches the pendant for a moment before pressing it back into his hand with a sigh.

“You have my blessing…” He whispers. “But I don’t want you going alone.”

“I’ll go with him.” Michael offers, and Gavin remembers the way he’d looked at Geoff with stars in his eyes. Of course he would want to come with him.

“Tell me before you leave and how long you’ll be gone. And I want you to come straight to me when you get back. Understand?” Gavin nods, and sees Michael nodding along beside him. “I do love you Gavin. I just don’t want you to get hurt…” When Jack leans in to kiss his cheek, Gavin takes a step back and ignores the hurt he can see in his eyes.

“You don’t just get to pretend like nothing happened Jack… You don’t get to act like you’re not the one who hurt me.” He chokes, setting his necklace on the table between his bed and Michael’s. “I want you to leave me alone for now.”

“I understand. I’m sorry…” Jack doesn’t try to touch him again- he just leaves the room quietly without looking back, and once the door closes, Gavin collapses to the bed with Michael reaching out to catch him.

“Gavvy?”

“I’m sorry I dragged you into this mess.” He sobs behind his hands, Michael’s arm tight around his shoulders.

“Shh… It’s okay. It’s alright Gavvy… I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” Michael whispers, kissing his temple. “Are you hungry?”

“No…” Gavin shakes his head. “I just feel sick… Besides, I ate before I left this morning. I just want to sleep…”

“Do you want me to stay here with you?”

“Please. I don’t… I don’t want to be alone.”

“Okay.” Michael eases him back on to the pillows and lets him lay against his chest. “So.” He starts, running his hand up and down Gavin’s arm slowly. “How were they?” Gavin gives him a shaky laugh and pinches his arm.

“Really? You’re going to ask me that now?” He laughs into Michael’s shoulder.

“I’m curious.” He shrugs. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“They were…  _ amazing _ .” Gavin breathes. “Ryan was so sweet with me Michael- it was incredible.”

“What about Geoff?” Michael seems a little more hesitant to ask this time and Gavin looks up at him.

“I didn’t do much with Geoff. But you’ll like him.” He smiles knowingly when Michael blushes. “He’ll treat you well.”

“Gav-”

“Oh come on. I saw the way you looked at him the other day. If it helps, I think he likes you too.” He kisses Michael on the cheek and makes a little noise of surprise when he turns to catch his lips with his own.

“Of course I’m interested, but I’d always rather have you.”

“M-Michael.” It’s Gavin’s turn to blush when Michael moves to hold him closer, their noses and lips brushing together with every word- every breath. Michael’s fingers find the bruise Ryan left on the side of his throat and Gavin gasps softly.

“I sort of figured you were with them.” Michael whispers. “Thinking about their hands on you drove me crazy all night. I couldn’t tell if I was jealous of you or of them. I think it was a little of both.” Michael moves to kiss the mark and Gavin moans quietly in his ear. “Is this okay?” He asks, his hand resting easy on his hip.

“This is wonderful.” Gavin smiles and kisses him again.

“Do you think you’re falling in love with them?”

“I- I don’t know. Maybe. But I don’t love you any less. I’ll never love you any less.” He promises.

“Do you want anything more than this right now?” Michael’s always careful with him, and Gavin appreciates it.

“Not right now.” He smiles a little and Michael smiles right back, kissing his nose gently.

“Alright. Can I keep kissing you?”

“Of course you can.” Gavin laughs. “You know. When I woke up this morning, you were the first thing I thought of. I wished you were there with me too.” He murmurs between slow kisses.

“Really? Those two weren’t enough for you?” Michael teases.

“They’re not you.”

Hours pass just like that- with Michael’s arms around him and gentle kisses that eventually lull Gavin to sleep. He wakes up, just for a moment, and smiles when he finds Michael sleeping peacefully next to him. He starts to drift off again with his fingers in Michael’s hair but a noise catches his attention and he sits up slowly. It sounds like it’s coming from just outside the bedroom door and he freezes when he hears the handle turn. In the dim light of the hearth- Michael must have gotten up to light a fire at some point- he sees the door start to open and lays back down quickly, keeping one eye barely cracked to see who comes in. He fights to keep his breathing even when Jack sits on Michael’s bed and sighs, just watching them.

“I’m so sorry…” Jack whispers in the dark, his voice cracking. “You were right Gavin… I did love them. But seeing what happened to Ryan- gods Gavvy you have no idea how terrifying that was to see in person. It wasn’t even  _ him _ anymore.” His voice shakes. “I just don’t want anything like that to happen to you. You probably can’t even hear me.” He sighs. “You sleep like the dead.”

Gavin tries to keep from tensing when Jack stands up and leans over his bed.

“I love you darling.” Jack kisses his head gently, and he hears him give Michael a kiss as well. “I love you both. Be safe…”

The door closes again but Gavin keeps holding his breath. It’s the only way he can keep from crying. When a quiet hum echoes in his head, the walls he’s put up crumble and he muffles a sob against Michael’s shoulder. It’s the same tune Ryan was humming the first time he went into the forest with him.

“ _ Gavin? Can you hear me Kjæreste? _ ” He hears Geoff’s voice, clear as day and he sniffles, smiling a little.

“ _ I can hear you _ .” He thinks back.

“ _ Are you alright? What happened? You’re not in too much trouble are you? _ ”

“ _ I’m fine. I convinced Jack to let me keep seeing you. Michael has to come with me now though. _ ”

“ _Oh thank the gods._ ” Geoff sighs. “ _Ryan will be thrilled to hear that._ ”

“ _ How is he? _ ”

“ _ He’s… Well he’s been better. He’s not here right now, but I promise I’ll tell him as soon as he gets back _ .”

“ _ Thank you Geoff. I don’t know when I’ll be able to come back, but I’ll find a way to get a message to you _ .”

“ _ I’ll check in on you again in the morning, alright? _ ”

“ _ Okay. I’m sure I’ll see you soon _ .”

After hearing Geoff’s voice and the relief in it, Gavin finds it much easier to fall asleep again. He doesn’t dream- if he does, he doesn’t remember any of it, and he wakes up with Michael still beside him.

“Morning.” Michael yawns, pulling him in closer.

“Good morning love.” He murmurs back. He’s still tired, but he can’t stand to stay in bed much longer, so he sits up and stretches his arms up over his head, groaning when his shoulders pop.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Just a little stiff.”

“Hungry?” Michael gets up with him and shuffles across the room looking for clothes.

“I could eat. Do you know what time it is?”

“Still early, I think.” Michael answers, going to look out the window. “It’s raining again.”

“Miserable.” Gavin groans, joining him. “Suppose it’s for the best though. Jack probably doesn’t want me leaving for a while… This is certainly a deterrent.” He sighs, just watching the rain fall. He can barely see past the wall around the temple and hopes that Ryan made it home before the storm hit.

“Are you okay?” Michael’s hand on his back snaps him out of his thoughts and he smiles a little.

“Just worrying about Geoff and Ryan. Their home isn’t as sturdy as the temple… I just hope they’re okay.”

“I’m sure they’re fine.” Michael kisses his cheek gently before leaving the window to get dressed, and Gavin follows him, going to his own dresser and pausing before pulling out his robes. Somehow the familiar garments feel heavier- almost  _ wrong _ in his hands, but he puts them on nonetheless. He picks up his necklace and holds it for a moment. It feels heavy in the same way as his robes, and he sets it back down on the side table with a sigh.

“Gavin? Michael? Are you up?” Alfredo’s voice filters through the door as he knocks and Michael goes to open it.

“Yeah, we were just on our way out. Why?”

“Jack told me to come get you for breakfast. But before we go-” Alfredo chews his lip and looks over his shoulder before stepping into their bedroom and shutting the door behind him. “What the hell happened yesterday?”

“It’s a long story…” Gavin sighs. “It’s… Complicated.”

“Witch stuff?” Alfredo gives him a sympathetic look when he nods. “I won’t pry then.” He starts to turn to open the door again but pauses and takes a deep breath. “If I tell you guys something… You won’t tell anyone else, right?”

“Of course.” Gavin exchanges a look with Michael when Alfredo starts shaking.

“Trevor’s a Witch.”


	12. Chapter 12

Gavin stares in shock and Michael stutters next to him, with Alfredo staring at them desperately, wringing his hands in front of him and looking close to tears.

“But- I- We’ve  _ met _ Trevor.” Michael finally manages to stammer out. “He never-”

“He’s good at hiding it. His marks are really light, and he always keeps them covered.”

“How long have you known?”

“I’ve known since the beginning.” Alfredo sighs. “He asked me not to tell. Especially after seeing how you’ve been treated around here Gav. He says it’s much better in West Plains… Nobody there cares.” The words steal Gavin’s breath away. He’s never heard much about the kingdom to the west, and knowing this now… It gives him a few ideas that he pushes back immediately- even the thought of leaving his city makes him feel sick.

“We won’t tell anyone.” Gavin promises, reaching out to take Alfredo’s hand. “I suppose it’s only fair… I met a pair of Witches from the southlands. I was with them the other night.” Alfredo’s eyes go wide.

“Really? That’s- oh wow. That’s incredible.”

“Jack’s not happy about it.”

“I gathered.” Alfredo laughs a little. “Well. Now that that’s all out in the open… What do we do?”

“I don’t think we have to do anything different. Just keep all of this quiet, and eventually we’ll figure out how to tell other people, I guess.”

“Yeah. Yeah that sounds good.” Alfredo nods and smiles, then pulls Gavin in for a hug. “Thank you.”

“Nothing to thank me for. If anything, I should be thanking you. You’ve alway been so sweet. So understanding. You were never afraid of me, even when I first came here and nearly everybody else hated me.” Gavin’s voice shakes a little and Michael and Alfredo both give him strange looks.

“I had no reason to hate you Gav.” Alfredo frowns and gives his shoulder a squeeze. “Hell, we were all just kids when you showed up.”

“Well Michael wasn’t very fond of me at first.” He laughs.

“You can thank my father for that.” Michael scoffs. “He’s the one who really hated you. Had some run in with a Witch when he was a kid. He always said that the only good Witch was a dead Witch. He made sure to beat that way of thinking into me when I was growing up.” He mutters. “Got the scars to prove it.”

“I bet he’s rolling in his grave now.” Gavin smirks, looking him up and down slowly.

“He never would have approved.” Michael agrees with a chuckle. “Come on. Let’s go. I’m hungry.” He insists, taking Gavin’s hand gently. He lets Michael lead him out of the room with Alfredo on his other side and feels…  _ powerful _ as the three of them walk into the dining hall and all eyes turn to him. His magic prickles just under his skin and he almost regrets wearing his heavy cloak to fend off the chill in the temple. He wants the rest of them to see his light- unfiltered and brilliant for the first time.

Fiona hurries over to them right away, but Gavin can’t help but notice that Jack barely gives them a second look. He doesn’t care- doesn’t have time to when his dear friend starts talking quickly.

“Gavin- you’ve got to talk to them.” She whispers, looking over her shoulder at the other priests of the temple, every last one of them staring at him with some mix of suspicion and fear.

“I’ve got nothing to say to any of them.” He mutters.

“You have say  _ something _ .” She presses.

“I can’t tell them the truth.” Gavin tells her, careful to keep his voice low enough that only she can hear him. “I’ll explain it to you. I promise. But  _ they _ can’t know.”

“Then lie. But you were missing  _ all night _ . Everyone was worried about you.”

“Not everyone, I’m sure.” He sighs. He knows full well that there are still people here that don’t trust him. Hate and prejudice run deep in this town, even in the temple, and he’s sure a few wouldn’t mind if he disappeared for good.

“Come on. Come sit down.” Fiona puts a hand on his back and hurries him along to a table off in the corner, away from prying eyes, while Michael and Alfredo make their way to a long table on the other side of the room to get food for the three of them.

“I can’t tell you all of it. Not here- not now.” He whispers. “But Fiona, I  _ swear _ to you, I haven’t done anything wrong. I got in a fight with Jack that morning and I just… I needed to get out of the city.”

“Where were you?”

“Off to the east.” He lies easily. Ryan and Geoff live off the west side of the city. Even if he trusted Fiona, he didn’t trust any ears that could be listening in, and he wants to lead them as far from Ryan and Geoff as he can. “I found a little cove that I could hide out in.” He hasn’t left the city since he took his vows over a decade ago, but he still has some vague memories of the forest.

“And you just… Slept out in the woods?”

“Pretty much.” He shrugs.

“What aren’t you telling me?”

“Later.” He promises. “But that’s the gist of it. I didn’t mean to worry anyone that much- truth be told I didn’t think anyone  _ would _ worry that much.”

“Well of course we’re going to worry about you Gavin.” Fiona’s voice is steady but her eyes betray her pain. “You’re our friend.”

“Well, I figured  _ you _ lot would worry.” He laughs a little as Alfredo and Michael sit down with them, Michael setting a plate down for him. He hears a few whispers and instead of ducking down to ignore them like he normally would, he straightens his back and scans the room, finally locking eyes with a man named Hill. He isn’t a priest- just a groundskeeper, but he stands as if he’s more righteous than the rest of them and Gavin glares as he stands to match him.

“Traitor.” Hill snears.

“And what do you know of loyalty, Mr. Hill?” He spits back. “Does your wife know where you go every other night?” Hill sputters and there’s a few scattered whispers that make Gavin smirk. “I didn’t think so.” He scoffs, sitting back down when he hears Jack, of all people, chuckle.

“Don’t let him get to you.” Fiona shoots Hill a look over her shoulder and Michael puts a hand over his.

“Hill doesn’t bother me.” Gavin goes back to his breakfast without looking back up at anyone in the room, despite the continuing whispers. He doesn’t want anything to do with any of them, but eventually a hand touches his shoulder and he looks up to see Jack standing over him.

“I’d like to talk to you and Michael later.”

“Fine.” He mutters. Alfredo and Fiona exchange a look but don’t say anything and Michael squeezes his hand gently.

Gavin slips into his normal routine easily, as if nothing had ever happened, just going about his usual chores and daily prayers that take some of the weight of his guilt from his shoulders. He thinks back to what Jack had told Ryan the day before- about his own devotion tying him to the temple- as he sits alone in quiet contemplation, watching smoke rise slowly from an offering. Jack was right. Gavin’s faith is just as important to him as his heritage- and he tries everyday to find the right balance between the two.

“What do I do…?” He whispers to the ceiling, the words catching in his throat. There’s no answer- just the steady drum of rain on the roof and a rumble of thunder and he stifles a sob behind his hand. Soft footsteps behind him make him freeze up. He wipes at his eyes quickly and sniffles.

“Gavin?” He sighs and turns as he stands when Jack calls out to him softly. “Can we talk?”

“Jack please… I think we’ve said all we need to say.”

“I’m here to apologize again.” Jack murmurs, coming closer. “I don’t want there to be any bad blood between us. You’re precious to me and- I guess I just can’t believe any of this is happening. I thought they were dead. I never could have imagined-” His voice cracks and he pauses. “I never thought you would get involved with people like them.”

“I don’t want to talk about this again.” Gavin cuts him off. “I don’t want to hear any more about how you don’t trust them.”

“That’s not what I was going to say. Do you remember the day you took your vows?” Jack’s soft smile as he takes his hand and looks around the empty chapel makes Gavin’s heart jump up into his throat.

“Of course I do.”

“Do you remember that night?”

“How could I forget?” Gavin manages a little laugh and blushes.

“I told you that night that I would always protect you.” He leans into Jack’s hand when he cups his cheek and nods. “I told you that no matter what, I would make sure you were safe and happy. Now I’m torn… Because keeping you safe would make you unhappy. But letting you do what makes you happy is going to put you in danger. If somebody catches you…”

“I’ll be careful Jack, I promise.” He whispers. “I won’t do anything in town- nothing anywhere someone could see me.”

“Can you tell me where they are?” Gavin looks over his shoulder, scanning the shadows.

“Not here.” He keeps his voice low, praying that they really are alone in the chapel. Someone like Hill overhearing is a frightening prospect.

“Okay. We can go back to your room. If Michael lets me in, of course.” Jack laughs a little.

“I’ll make sure he does.” This time, when Jack leans in, Gavin doesn’t stop him. He meets him halfway for a soft kiss that feels so much like their first kiss that it brings tears to his eyes. “I’m sorry Jack…” He chokes. “I’m so sorry.”

“Gavvy?”

“I’ve been so difficult lately- I- I was so wrapped up in being angry with you I just… I couldn’t see that I was hurting you too…” The tears start falling freely and Jack wraps his arms around him tight, pulling him up against his chest and rubbing his back gently.

“It’s okay… It’s alright. You had every right to be angry with me. I wasn’t truthful with you. The way I talked to you- honestly I’m surprised you came home at all…”

“I almost didn’t.” Gavin admits softly as he leaves the chapel and heads for his bedroom. He breathes a sigh of relief when he finds the room empty and closes the door carefully behind him.

“What made you come back?”

“Geoff did. He said you would be worried about me.”

“That sounds like Geoff.” Jack smiles and sits on the bed. “He’s always been one to worry like a mother hen.” Gavin laughs at that.

“Ryan said the same thing.”

“How… How is Ryan?” Jack looks down at his hands, folded in his lap. “Last time I saw him he… He wasn’t exactly stable.” He looks back up and Gavin swallows when he sees the pain in his eyes.

“Geoff says he’s doing better, but he still has his problems. He said himself that he isn’t well… But he’s trying. He really is. He was-” Gavin cuts himself off quickly and feels his face going red. He doesn’t want to disclose all that happened that night.

“Go on.” Jack prompts, his eyes never leaving Gavin’s.

“Jack I-”

“I already know he fucked you.” Gavin’s cheeks burn at Jack’s calm tone and he looks down at his feet. “Was he good to you?”

“Yes.” He whispers, shame and embarrassment making his voice shake. “He… He was sweet. He didn’t make a fuss when he found out.” Jack nods his understanding. “Made sure I was comfortable.”

“And what about Geoff?”

“He wasn’t involved.” Gavin lies. Jack looks skeptical but doesn’t push further. “Ryan told me about you and Geoff.” He adds carefully. “He told me that you gave them that ring.”

“I did. This was all shortly before you came here. That’s why I vouched for you. I saw the best of them. It was before Geoff was arrested, and I was still in love with them. I saw the bias when it came to Witches. Geoff was always level headed- never did anything to hurt anybody. Ryan was different. He never…  _ hurt _ anybody, per say. But he was never exactly stable. I think he may have been seeing someone else around that time that was twisting him but… I never found out.”

“ _ Is that Jack I hear? _ ” Gavin manages not to jump when he hears Geoff’s voice in his head.

“ _ Yes. It’s okay. _ ” He assures him. “ _ Check in with me later okay? _ ”

“ _ Of course. Stay well Kjæreste. _ ”

“Gavin?” He snaps his gaze away from the window when Jack puts a hand on his knee.

“Sorry. I’m listening, I promise.”

“I came back home about a year before everything happened. That’s when you showed up.” He smiles. “And I fell in love with you the moment I saw you. You were so scared but by the gods you were so beautiful.” Gavin blushes and ducks his head.

“I still don’t remember much about when I first came here. But I remember the way you held me that first time we met. You were the first person to speak to me here. You were so kind to me.”

“I brought you in. Our doctor told us you were a Witch, but you didn’t know what he was talking about. You were just as scared as the council was angry when they questioned you. So I vouched for you. I knew there was nothing dangerous about you.” When Jack reaches up to touch his cheek, Gavin’s breath catches in his throat. “But then… Just after you started your training here, I went back to the southlands.”

“Did you see what happened?”

“No. I ran into Ryan before I even got to their city.” Jack’s voice cracks. “He was already gone. Geoff had been taken, but he’d managed to get away. He was broken. He kept rambling about getting revenge. He said that they were going to kill Geoff and that if they did he’d burn the city to the ground.” Hearing Jack’s side of the story makes Gavin’s blood go cold.

“Did he look different?”

“How do you mean?”

“He- He showed me what I can only imagine was the corruption his magic suffered.”

“The black marks on his hand?”

“That’s as far as they went?” Gavin’s heart races.

“As far as I saw. Why?”

“It’s gotten worse… It goes all the way up his arm. Up to his face.”

“God…”

“So what did you do? After you saw him?”

“I had to leave.” Jack sighs. “I couldn’t stay there. I’d only gone for a short visit anyway. They were expecting me back here within a couple of weeks. And I didn’t feel safe around Ryan. The man I saw there was  _ not _ the man I loved.” He looks out the window and Gavin follows his gaze. “I was back by the time I heard what he’d done… I assumed they were both dead. All of the reports that were coming up from the southlands said there was nothing left. And they were never seen again…”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me any of this?”

“I didn’t want to frighten you. And I just couldn’t risk somebody finding out where I’d been. I would have been arrested at the very least and I couldn’t leave you alone.” Jack’s fingers lace gently with his and Gavin feels fresh tears roll down his cheeks.

“Anything would have helped me… Jack I was already scared- people  _ hated _ me and I didn’t know why. I knew I’d never done anything wrong, but I never knew what my people were capable of.”

“I’m sorry… I know I should have told you sooner. But I thought you were doing well. Especially after you and Michael got close and you took your vows. I didn’t know you were having so much trouble.”

“I felt like I couldn’t tell you…” Gavin keeps his gaze fixed on the wall around the temple as he speaks. “Some of the things you said about Witches… I thought that I was an exception for you- that you were just looking past that part of me because you were interested in me…”

“Darling…” Jack squeezes his hand gently, drawing his eyes back to him. “I’m so sorry… I know I can never make that up to you… But I want to try. I want to make this better.”

“Just knowing I have your blessing to go back to them is enough.” Gavin smiles a little, but he doesn’t know if he means it. Jack’s right. He can never really make up for the years of lies and the hurt they’ve caused him, but it  _ is _ a start. And it does help a little.

“I understand if you don’t want me going with you. I’m sure they don’t want to see me either.”

“I don’t think that’s true. I think Geoffrey misses you. He spoke very highly of you.”

“Did he really?” Jack laughs. “I guess that’s really not so surprising. Geoff always found the best in people. I think that’s why I was never afraid of Ryan. If Geoff trusted him, I knew I could.”

“Why were you in the southlands in the first place? With the war going on I can’t imagine it was very safe. Why would they let you go?”

“I was an emissary. I was there to help with negotiations at first. It was hard work, but it was rewarding. I was part of the end of that fight.” Jack’s smile warms Gavin’s heart and he surprises himself by leaning against his shoulder.

“Gavin! Gavvy!” He jumps up when the door swings open and Michael comes rushing in, soaked to the bone and shaking. “Jack- you too.”

“What’s going on?” Jack gets to his feet quickly, Gavin following- a sick horror rising up in his throat. It takes Michael a moment to catch his breath enough to speak again and when he does, his words make Gavin’s heart drop into his stomach.

“I-It’s Ryan. He’s hurt.”


	13. Chapter 13

Gavin lets Michael lead the way out of the temple- barely pausing to grab his cloak off of the bed as he follows, his knees shaking. Lindsay’s there to meet them at the steps, her own hood pulled up and mud caked on her boots.

“What’s going on?” Jack almost has to shout over the wind and rain as Lindsay starts down the steps.

“That man from yesterday- I saw him when I was bringing Fiona back- Michael and I just found him at the deep road. He told me to come get you.” She calls over her shoulder. “We need to hurry.”

“Did you tell anybody else?” Gavin demands, catching up and grabbing her arm to stop her before they get into the town proper.

“No. Michael asked me not to. Gavin- what the hell is happening?” There’s no anger in Lindsay’s eyes, only worry.

“I- I’ll explain later. But thank you. I promise it’s all alright.”

“Alright.” Lindsay frowns but keeps walking. Michael grips his hand tight as they follow her through town- down familiar streets, empty from the storm, all the way to a now all too familiar empty shop. “He’s in here.” Gavin pushes past Lindsay as soon as she’s got the door open and sees Ryan panting like a frightened animal in the back corner of the dimly lit shop.

“R-Ryan?” His illusion flickers, but stays in place, but his eyes blaze purple in the dark and Gavin hears Lindsay gasp behind him.

“Who is she?” Ryan gasps and Gavin takes a step closer.

“It’s okay. She’s a friend.”

“She’s a guard.” Even from here, Gavin can see the way Ryan’s jaw clenches around the words.

“You’re safe with me. Any friend of Gavin is a friend of mine.” Lindsay assures him. “But if you want me to leave-”

“Can’t have a lady out in this weather.” Ryan coughs through a laugh and winces, leaning against the wall. “ _ Fuck. _ ” He gasps, holding his side.

“What happened to you?” Now that he’s closer Gavin can see the blood seeping up between his fingers and he swallows down the fear that threatens to choke him.

“S-Stupid accident.”

“Let me see.” He demands, grabbing Ryan’s wrist gently to pull his hand away and gasping when he sees the deep gash in his side. “How- How is this an accident? Ryan this-”

“Gavin. It was an accident.” Ryan insists, giving him a long look that makes his skin crawl.

“Okay… What do you need? We can take you to the doctor in the temple-”

“No!” Fear lights up Ryan’s eyes and he clamps his hand back over the wound, sliding down the wall until he’s sitting on the floor panting. “J-Just- get me home.” Gavin looks over his shoulder at the others nervously, then back to Ryan.

“I-I don’t know if I can do it on my own…”

“Michael can come. Only Michael.”

“O-Okay. Just hold on for me, okay? Let me talk to Jack and Lindsay.” Gavin whispers and Ryan nods, closing his eyes and leaning back on the wall.

“What’s going on?” Jack asks, keeping his voice low.

“He’s hurt. He needs to go home. I can’t get him there on my own but he only wants me to bring Michael. Can you two cover for us?” Jack and Lindsay exchange a look and Michael glances over at Ryan.

“I’ll cover for you.” Lindsay promises, and Jack nods along with her.

“How long will you be gone?”

“Until tomorrow at least. Maybe two days. I- I don’t want to leave him alone.”

“Alright.” Jack looks over at Ryan and sighs. “Be careful. Both of you.” He leans in to kiss them both on the forehead.

“We will be.” Michael nods.

“Thank you.” Ryan wheezes from where he’s still sitting on the floor. “I owe you one.” He chuckles.

“You owe me more than one.” Jack mutters.

“You know I’m good for it.” Seeing Ryan’s humor creeping through the pain brings Gavin a little bit of peace and he smiles, rolling his eyes.

“You two go ahead of us. Make sure no one’s hanging around. We can’t be followed.”

“Got it.” Lindsay nods. When she and Jack leave the empty shop, Gavin goes back to Ryan with Michael right beside him.

“Thanks for bringing him.” Ryan smiles up at Michael weakly and Michael smiles back.

“Of course.” Michael kneels down next to him. “Alright. Let me take a look and we can get you out of here.” Ryan moves his hand slowly and Michael draws in a sharp gasp. “Damn… Can you stand?”

“Not on my own.” Ryan forces out through grit teeth.

“Does Geoff know?” Gavin asks carefully, tearing a strip from the bottom of his cloak despite Michael’s little noise of protest.

“No… I can’t find him.” The pain in Ryan’s eyes goes beyond the physical and Gavin’s heart twists in his chest.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to… We’ll just have to hurry.” He makes quick work of binding the wound as best he can and helps Ryan to his feet gently with Michael’s help. “Come on.” He grunts.

Even with Michael’s help, it feels like it takes ages to get to the broken section of the wall around the city, and by the time they get there Gavin’s out of breath and shivering. The storm that rages around them shows no signs of letting up and he eyes the stones warrily.

“Careful now. It looks slick.” He huffs as he and Michael help Ryan up over the rubble.

“I need to sit once we get over this.” Ryan groans through his teeth. “There should be a spot out of sight just over to the left.”

“Alright.” Gavin scans the woods as they get over the wall and sees a fallen tree, close enough that they’ll be able to get there without much trouble, but far enough to be out of sight of anyone bold enough to brave the storm. “Here we go. Nice and easy.”

“Thank you darling.” Ryan pants as he sits. “I’m sorry to bring you two out in this weather.” He murmurs.

“It’s no trouble.” Michael frowns, kneeling in front of him and wiping a hand over his face. “How much further is it?”

“It’s not far. Just there.” Gavin nods in the direction of the small home Ryan shares with Geoff. “Could he hear if we called from here?”

“He could probably hear the whistle. Use three. That means one of us is in trouble. Plus there are three of us.”

“I’ll do it.” Michael offers- then whistles sharply when Ryan nods.

“We should keep moving, if you can. You’ll catch your death out here.”

“Yeah. I can keep going. If Geoff heard, we’ll meet him on the way.” Ryan struggles to his feet and Gavin hurries to wrap an arm around him to steady him. “Geoff will be happy to see you Michael. He’s quite fond of you.”

“O-Oh.” Even in the gloom and rain, Gavin sees Michael’s cheeks turning a deeper red. Ryan trips a little over a fallen branch but manages to keep his footing with their help.

“Yeah. I think you’ll really like him once you get to know him a little. One of the most wonderful people I’ve ever met.”

“Don’t try to talk.” Gavin soothes when Ryan’s voice cracks with pain. “We’re almost there.” He tries to keep his own voice from shaking and just holds him tighter. “Almost there Ryan, just hold on for me.” Michael’s hand moves on Ryan’s back to grab Gavin’s arm and he holds back a little sob- glad for the rain hiding his tears. He’s doing his best to be strong, but he’s terrified. He doesn’t want to lose Ryan…

“Rye?” The wind carries Geoff’s voice through the forest and now Gavin  _ does _ cry, relief and exhaustion making him shake.

“Geoff!” He shouts back. “Geoff hurry! Ryan’s hurt!”

“Gavin? Where are you  _ Kjæreste _ ?”

“We’re here!” He cries when he sees Geoff in the distance. “Just ahead of you!” Geoff starts running then and Ryan makes an effort to move a little faster.

“Oh my god- Oh my god Ryan what happened?” Geoff gasps when he skids to a stop in the mud in front of them, reaching out to hold Ryan up when he falls forward. “ _ Kjæreste _ can you hear me?” His voice shakes and Gavin sees his light filtering up through his tattoos- and fear in his eyes.

“I-I’ll be okay.” Ryan wheezes, leaning against Geoff’s shoulder. “Just need to get home- J-Just need to stop the bleeding.”

“Okay. Come on. Michael, you help me, Gavin go ahead of us- There’s a cabinet by the bath that has some medical supplies in it. Get those out for me. Just set them up in the front room.”

“But I-”

“Gavin  _ please _ .” Geoff begs. “Go.”

“O-Okay.” He nods, giving Michael’s hand a squeeze and kissing Ryan’s cheek before sprinting off in the direction of Geoff and Ryan’s home. He’s only been there twice, but he feels like he knows the way like the back of his hand and just keeps going- even when he slips in the mud, falling to his knees and scrambling back up as quickly as he can.

The warmth of the small home doesn’t bring any relief as he rummages through the bathroom for the supplies that Geoff had asked for. He gets the kettle on the stove just as the door swings open for Geoff, Michael and Ryan, and he breathes a sigh of relief as he helps get Ryan to the couch.

“There we go.” Geoff grunts as he sits him down carefully. “Alright. Let’s take a look.” He helps Ryan out of his shirt and makes a small noise in the back of his throat when he uncovers the deep wound in his side. “Who did this to you?” He demands.

“Nobody.” Ryan forces through his teeth breathlessly. “I tripped and fell.” Geoff gives him a look like he doesn’t believe him, but doesn’t press him any further, just opens the case that Gavin had found in the bathroom and digs out bandages and a little packet of herbs. “Gavin could you grind these down for me? Mortar is in the cabinet over the sink. Add a little bit of water, make a paste.”

“Right away.” Gavin takes the herbs and hurries to the kitchen, following Geoff’s directions with shaking hands. When he goes back, he brings a wet cloth and a bowl of water with him. He takes Ryan’s hand gently when he reaches out and smiles a little, giving a gentle squeeze.

“Deep breath.” Geoff urges gently, pausing before he presses the cloth to Ryan’s side. Gavin’s heart breaks when Ryan clenches his teeth around a scream, arching his back and trying to squirm away from Geoff’s hands. “Michael, hold him please.” Geoff orders without looking up.

“Sorry Ryan.” Michael murmurs, moving to stand behind Ryan and putting his hands on his shoulders to hold him still, and Gavin squeezes his hand tighter. Ryan spits out a curse that Gavin can’t understand as Geoff keeps working. He doesn’t say much- and what he  _ does _ say Gavin doesn’t understand. Soft words spoken in their own language that make Ryan’s light flicker weakly. By the time Geoff starts stitching the wound with steady hands, Ryan’s laying limp under Michael’s hands- breathing slowly.

“Ryan?” Gavin whispers, brushing his hair off of his forehead. One eye cracks open a little, the stormy blue swallowed up by his light, and Ryan smiles weakly.

“Hello darling.” He whispers back, his voice raspy and strained. “I’ll be alright.” He reaches up to cover Gavin’s hand with his own and sighs.

“Think you can move?” Geoff asks.

“Not well.” Ryan groans. “I’ll need help.”

“That’s alright. I just want to get you out of these clothes-”

“When don’t you?” He chuckles and Geoff rolls his eyes.

“You need to get into some dry clothes and get in bed.” Geoff snaps, but there’s no real heat behind his words, just careful concern. “I’ll put you in bed. Boys, you should change too. I’m sure we’ve got clothes around that’ll fit you alright. And you can hang those up by the fireplace.”

“We wouldn’t want to inconvenience you-” Michael starts but stops when Geoff smiles and puts a hand on his knee.

“It’s no trouble at all. You really shouldn’t try to go back tonight. Not in this storm.”

“Thank you.” Michael smiles and blushes a little.

“You two go ahead and dig through Ryan’s closet and find something to wear. I’ll get something started for dinner and get him to sleep.”

“Thank you Geoffrey.” Gavin leans in and kisses Geoff on the cheek, then puts a hand on Michael’s shoulder to lead him back to Ryan’s bedroom.

“Think he’ll be okay?” Michael asks quietly as he pulls on a loose pair of pants he pulled out of Ryan’s dresser and hands a pair over to Gavin.

“I think so.” Gavin strips down slowly, hesitating when he’s down to just the bindings around his chest and the thin pair of pants. “I hope so…”

“You should take those off.” Michael eyes him over with a little frown. “They can’t be comfortable when they’re wet.”

“Can you help me?”

“Of course I can.” Michael’s warm hands are a welcome contrast to the cold, wet fabric on his body and Gavin leans into his touch with a soft sigh. A quiet knock on the doorframe makes the both of them jump and Gavin scrambles to get a shirt on when Geoff enters, holding Ryan up with an arm around his waist.

“No need to cover up on my account.” Ryan jokes, his eyes trailing over him slowly.

“Stop that.” Geoff huffs, helping him to his bed. “And you call me lecherous. In bed with you, you menace.”

“You love me Geoff.”

“Of course I do.” Geoff smiles, laying Ryan down gently and leaning in for a soft kiss. “Get some sleep  _ Kjæreste _ .” He whispers. “I’ll come check on you in a little while.”

“Thanks Geoff.” Ryan smiles back up at him and reaches up to cup Geoff’s cheek. Before Gavin can turn to leave the room with Geoff and Michael, Ryan grabs his wrist. “Will you stay with me for a minute?” He asks softly.

“Of course.”

“I’ll come get you when dinner’s ready.” Michael assures him, giving him a little kiss on the cheek. Once they’re gone, Gavin sits gently on the edge of the bed, holding Ryan’s hand.

“Thank you for coming for me darling.”

“You would have done the same for me.” Gavin runs his fingers back through Ryan’s hair gently and smiles down at him. “How are you feeling?”

“Been better.” Ryan laughs dryly. “But I’ll be alright. I’m just tired now.”

“You promise this was just an accident?”

“I promise. It’s a little blurry right now- Geoff drugged me up pretty good.” He laughs again but winces and Gavin shushes him. “I’ll explain tomorrow when my head clears up a little, okay?”

“Okay.” Gavin leans in for a kiss and Ryan reaches up to wrap an arm around his shoulders.

“Can you lay down with me?” He whispers against his lips, his voice cracking a little. “Just for a little while…”

“Of course I can love.” Gavin squirms into Ryan’s bed carefully and lets him rest his head against his chest, still running his fingers through his hair and humming quietly- a song he has vague memories of his mother singing to him as a child- and soon, the older Witch is sound asleep on his shoulder, their fingers linked together loosely.

“Gav?” Sometime later, Michael comes back into the room and his soft voice shakes Gavin from a light sleep and he sits up slowly. “Geoff told me to come get you. Dinner’s ready.”

“I’ll be right there.” He yawns, squirming his arm out from under Ryan’s head and stretching carefully before getting up and pulling the covers up around him and kissing his forehead. Ryan doesn’t stir at all, but Gavin’s comforted by the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathes.

“Have a nice nap?” Geoff smiles at him from the table as he comes out of the room and he smiles back.

“It was lovely.” Gavin laughs a little as he sits down but groans and rolls his shoulder back slowly.

“Are you okay?”

“Just a little stiff. Thank you for letting us stay the night.”

“It’s no trouble at all. I can give the two of you my bed if you’d like. I’ll stay with Ryan.” Geoff barely looks up from his plate as he speaks casually. “Or if you want to stay with him Gav, I can sleep out here and I’ll give Michael my bed.”

“No need to give up your bed for me.” Michael looks up at Geoff and Gavin sees a familiar little glint in his eyes.

“If you say so.” Geoff shrugs, but levels Michael with a look that’s just as hungry as the one he’s getting.

“I’ll stay with Ryan.” Gavin gives Michael’s hand a playful little pinch under the table and rolls his eyes when he gets a little slap in return.

Geoff checks on Ryan again after they finish eating- brings him his own plate and sits with him while he eats and while Gavin and Michael tidy up around the kitchen.

“So. Are you really okay with this? With me staying in Geoff’s bed with him, I mean?” Michael asks carefully as they stand and stare out the window at the storm. “Because I think you and I both know what’s going to happen if I stay in there.”

“I know.” Gavin takes Michael’s hand in his own, never taking his eyes off of the window. “It’s alright. I promise.”

“Gavvy…” Michael reaches up to cup his cheek and Gavin turns easily into a gentle kiss.

“I love you, Michael.” He whispers.

“I love you too.” Michael smiles and gives him another kiss. There’s a quiet cough behind them and Gavin blushes as he turns to see Geoff standing behind them.

“My offer still stands. You two can have my bed and I’ll stay with Ryan.” He chuckles.

“No, don’t worry. I’ll stay with him.” Gavin smiles and goes to press a kiss to the corner of Geoff’s mouth, hugging him tight before he gets a chance to pull away. “You’d better treat my Michael right.” He warns softly. “I’ll never forgive you if you hurt him.”

“Understood,  _ Kjæreste _ .” Geoff whispers back, giving him a tight squeeze and kissing him gently. “You’ve seen how I work.” He teases before pulling back and smiling at him. “Michael?” He motions for Michael to join him. “Let’s get you settled in, shall we?”

“That sounds lovely.” Michael leans in to give Gavin another kiss before following Geoff to another room. “See you in the morning Gavvy.”

“See you in the morning.” Gavin smiles as he watches them go.

Gavin waits a little while before going to bed, making another pot of tea and sitting curled up in a chair by the fire- just watching the flames and listening to the storm still raging outside, thunder shaking the small house. He pretends not to hear Geoff and Michael in the next room- first just some quiet conversation, then a little noise from Michael that he knows all too well.

“They sound good.” Gavin looks up sharply when he hears Ryan’s voice and scrambles to his feet.

“What are you doing out of bed?” He whispers, putting an arm around his waist to keep him steady.

“Just coming to get something to drink.” Ryan chuckles, kissing the top of his head.

“You should have called for me. I would have gotten something for you.” Gavin fusses, easing him down into a chair.

“I’m not helpless darling.” Ryan’s little smile brings him a little bit of comfort but he still frowns.

“You still shouldn’t be up… You’ll pull your stitches.”

“I’ll be fine, my love.” He insists. Gavin just huffs as he pours him a cup of tea and sits down on the arm of the chair carefully.

“Something to help you sleep.” He murmurs, just running his fingers through Ryan’s hair gently. “You need your rest.” Ryan leans against his shoulder and sighs softly.

“You really don’t need to worry so much. Geoff’s good at what he does. He’s patched me up from much worse.” Gavin thinks back to what Geoff had shown him and suppresses a shiver. “Are you going to come to bed?” He asks as he finishes his tea.

“I’ll be there in a minute.” Gavin smiles and leans down to kiss him slowly, then helps him to his feet.

“Don’t be too long.”

Gavin wakes up in a panic sometime in the middle of the night- if the darkness outside the window is anything to go by. He doesn’t know what’s woken him, but he can’t catch his breath and he can’t shake the feeling that he’s being watched. Ryan stirs next to him and he shushes him gently.

“Gavin?” Ryan groans, sitting up a little. “What’s going on?”

“It’s alright.” He whispers. “Just go back to sleep.”

“You don’t sound alright.” Gavin can just barely see Ryan frowning in the dark and he smiles a little to try to comfort him. “Come on. Talk to me.”

“Just a bad dream.” He lies gently. “I’m okay.” Ryan doesn’t look convinced, but he doesn’t ask any more questions and Gavin’s grateful for that. “I’ll be right back.” He promises, trying to keep his voice steady as he slips out of bed.

“Okay.” Ryan murmurs, laying back down. Gavin waits until his breath goes deep and even with sleep again before leaving the room quietly and going out to the kitchen. He just stares out the window, gripping the edge of the counter and shaking. He can still feel eyes on him and he whips around when he hears footsteps behind him, his marks burning.

“Hey, hey! Calm down.” He relaxes a little when he sees Geoff with his hands up. “What’s wrong?”

“Something doesn’t feel right.” He chokes. “There’s someone out there.”

“Did you see them?” Geoff joins him at the counter and looks out the window, blue lighting up under his tattoos.

“N-No… Just a feeling. But Geoff, I’m sure of it.”

“Alright. I’ll go check, okay? You wait right here for me.” Geoff cups his cheek and leans in to touch their foreheads together gently. “I’m sure it’s nothing.” He smiles a little as he heads for the door, wrapping himself in a heavy cloak before he goes out into the storm.

It feels like it takes hours for Geoff to come back, and all the while Gavin tracks his movements carefully. He can see just a bit of his light and it brings him some comfort. By the time he comes back into the house, some of the uneasy feeling has eased and Gavin slumps, exhausted against the counter.

“Anything?” He asks.

“Nothing.” Geoff frowns. “What did you feel?”

“Just…  _ Sick _ .” Gavin shivers. “Cold… I could have sworn there was somebody in the room with me and Ryan. Or at least at the window.”

“I’ll stay up and keep an eye out.” Geoff assures him, wrapping his arms around him gently and kissing his cheek.

“You don’t have to do that.” He whispers into the older Witch’s shoulder.

“Of course I do. I want you to feel safe here.”

“I do feel safe here. Besides- you need your rest and Michael will wonder where you’ve gone if he wakes up.”

“Alright. But promise me you’ll come get me right away if anything else happens.”

“I will. I promise.” When Geoff tips his chin up gently, Gavin’s heart jumps in his chest and he welcomes the warm kiss that’s offered. “Good night, Geoff.”

“Good night,  _ Kjæreste _ .”

Even though he doesn’t wake up again for the rest of the night, Gavin’s exhausted when he’s woken up by Michael the next day.

“Hey Gavvy. Come on, we’ve got to go.”

“Michael? What time is it?” He groans, sitting up slowly. “Where’s Ryan?”

“Ryan’s fine. He’s up with Geoff now. It’s already afternoon, and the storm’s let up. We need to go before it kicks up again.”

“But I-”

“Gavvy please. I want to go home.” Michael’s voice cracks and Gavin sits up a little more- wide awake now.

“What happened? Did- did Geoff do something?”

“No, no. It wasn’t Geoff. He was…” Michael blushes all the way down to his collarbones. “He was wonderful. But I heard something… Someone was in the house.” His voice shakes as he whispers.

“When?”

“I don’t know what time it was, but Geoff wasn’t in bed. I know I heard you two talking and I heard the door but there was something else between that.” Gavin’s blood runs cold. “Somebody whispering to me…”

“Did you tell Geoff?”

“No… I- I was going to but we heard Ryan get up so we went to check on him. Please I just want to go… I don’t feel right.”

“Okay- we can go. But you should really tell Geoff. I didn’t feel right last night either. I felt like I was being watched. Geoff went and checked outside for me. He’ll want to hear this.”

“Hear what?” Geoff comes into the room frowning.

“Geoff I- There was someone here last night. I heard them.” Something flashes in Geoff’s eyes- his magic lighting up under his tattoos.

“When did you hear this?”

“When you were outside. I could have  _ sworn _ they were in the house. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I-”

“Shh… It’s alright.” Geoff runs a hand back through his hair and looks around nervously. “You should go but… Gods I don’t want the two of you out there alone if there’s someone in my woods.”

“I’ll go with them.” Gavin’s heart drops like a stone when he sees Ryan- holding his side, out of breath with dark circles under his eyes.

“Like hell you will.” Geoff snaps. “Go lay back down. I’ll handle this.” Ryan looks more like he did the first day they met- cold and unsettling- and Gavin can’t meet his gaze. “Alright. I’m going to give you a ward. It won’t last more than a couple days, but it’ll get you home. I’ll come into town in two days. Meet me at that shop and we’ll figure out what to do next, okay?”

“Alright.” Gavin nods and gets out of bed, taking the clothes that Michael offers him and getting dressed as quickly as he can. When he leaves the room, Ryan catches him by the elbow and pulls him aside.

“Please be careful darling.” He whispers. “I felt it too… I wish I could go with you and keep you safe… I-” The coldness in Ryan’s eyes is replaced by  _ fear _ and Gavin swallows around the lump in his throat. “I love you… Please be safe.”

“I- I will be. I love you too.” He breathes before Ryan catches his lips in a kiss. “How do you say it?” Ryan gives him a curious look. “Back home, I mean. How would you say it?”

“ _ Jeg elsker deg _ .” Ryan chuckles with a little smile. “Go straight home, understand? Don’t stop for  _ anybody _ . Not even Jack or Lindsay.”

“We won’t.”

“I mean it. Talk as you go but don’t stop until you’re in the temple.”

“I understand.”

“Gavin. Come on.” Michael puts a hand on his shoulder and Ryan leans in to give him one more kiss. “I hope you heal up soon Ryan.”

“I’m sure I will.” Ryan smiles and kisses Michael on the cheek. “Take care of each other.”

“We will.”

\---

Ryan’s heart feels like it’s going to burst out of his chest as he watches Michael and Gavin leave, Geoff helping him stand until they disappear into the trees. When they’re out of sight he collapses before Geoff has a chance to catch him.

“Ryan!”

“I-I’m sorry-” He gasps as Geoff gets him to his feet and takes him back inside, laying him down in his bed.

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for. It’s a deep cut Rye. I’m surprised you’re standing at all.” Geoff brushes his hair off of his forehead and Ryan catches his wrist when he starts to pull away.

“No- I- I lied Geoff… About what happened.”

“I figured you did. So what was it? Bar fight?” Geoff jokes a little but frowns when Ryan doesn’t answer right away. “Ryan?”

“He’s here.”

“What? Who’s here?” The last thing Ryan sees before the pain over takes him again, is the fear in Geoff’s eyes and he manages one last word before he falls unconscious.

“Jeremy-”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might not be able to update next Sunday (got some stuff going on). BUT. I may have a bonus chapter up sometime this week to make up for it.


	14. 13.5 Bonus Geoff/Michael NSFW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I probably won't have a new chapter up on Sunday, so here's a bonus NSFW micheoff chapter because I have no self control.  
> Takes place about in the middle of chapter 13, when Michael and Geoff head to bed.  
> Enjoy!

Michael follows Geoff easily with Gavin’s blessing and tries to calm his racing heart. Geoff barely even pauses once he shuts the bedroom door behind them- pushing him up against it gently and taking his breath away.

“I didn’t think I’d be able to get you alone so soon.” He murmurs, trailing his knuckles down his cheek gently. “Frankly, I didn’t think you would let me.”

“Are you kidding? If I hadn’t put two and two together that first day we met, I was planning on ditching Gavin to get to know you a little better.” Michael laughs breathlessly against Geoff’s lips. The Witch pinning him to the wall chuckles and lets their noses brush together but doesn’t kiss him and Michael nearly whines from want.

“Is that so?” Geoff’s fingers trail lower, down his throat and Michael swallows nervously. “Shh. It’s alright darling. I won’t hurt you.”

“I’m not worried about that-”

“Yes you are. Did Gavin tell you what I can do?”

“What do you mean?”

“I can feel what you feel.” Geoff’s lips brush his cheek and he shivers. “I can see what you’re thinking. Not all of it, but I can piece it together. You put up a brave front,  _ Kjæreste _ . But you’re terrified of me, aren’t you?”

“Y-Yes.” Michael breathes. “But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want it.” Geoff pulls back just enough to look into his eyes and Michael sees his light flicker in his eyes- the same way Gavin’s does when he’s got him pinned down in his bed.

“Are you sure?” In lieu of an answer, Michael leans up to catch Geoff’s lips in a kiss that seems to take him by surprise. “ _ Fuck. _ ” He groans, one hand gripping tight to his waist.

“I wouldn’t have come back here with you if I wasn’t.” He trails one hand down Geoff’s chest slowly until he reaches his belt. “May I?”

“Of course.” Geoff kisses Michael again as he undoes his belt- deeper now, more desperately. Michael moans into the kiss as he slides his hand down his pants and wraps his fingers around his cock.

“How long have you been watching me, hm?” He laughs quietly in Geoff’s ear. “Ryan said you two have been here for a couple years now. Have you seen me before?”

“A few times.” Geoff moans against the side of his throat. “The other day was the first time I’d seen you with Gavin though. Figured that was as good a time as any to talk to you. Ryan told me not to.”

“I’m glad you didn’t listen.”

“So am I.” Geoff licks a slow stripe up Michael’s neck, making him tremble. “Gods above, you’re beautiful.” He groans, grabbing the bottom of his shirt and pulling it up and over his head before pinning him to the wall again.

“What did Gavvy say to you before we came back here?”

“He warned me that if I hurt you, he’d never forgive me.” Michael laughs at that, and gives Geoff another slow stroke.

“And what if I  _ want _ you to hurt me?”

“So you both like it rough, huh?” Geoff rocks into his hand a little.

“I thought you two didn’t do much together.”

“We didn’t. And I was gentle with him. But Ryan? I could hear them clear across the house.” Geoff’s voice drops low in his ear and Michael shivers, squeezing his cock gently and making him moan.

“How much did you hear?”

“ _ Everything _ . Have you ever been on the other side of the wall listening to Jack fuck him?” Geoff takes a step back towards the bed and Michael follows, moaning when he’s pushed back into soft blankets.

“How do you know they fuck?”

“Oh please. I knew Jack for a long time. He’s not going to pass up someone as pretty as Gavvy.” Geoff chuckles, kissing down Michael’s chest, pausing to lick over his nipple. “So?”

“Y-Yes.” Michael grips the blankets under him tight as Geoff moves lower, pulling down the pants he’d borrowed slowly. “T-They haven’t in a while but when they did- I- I would listen through the door.”

“Little voyeur.” Geoff kisses his stomach and wraps a hand around his cock, the gentle touch making Michael’s back arch up off the bed. “Did you get yourself off while you listened to them?”

“Did- Did you?” He gasps, smirking down at Geoff who just grins back.

“Of course I’m going to get off listening to my husband fucking a pretty little priest. And I’m sure if he were in any condition to do so, he’d get off listening to what I’m going to do to you,  _ Kjæreste _ .” Michael slaps a hand over his mouth to cover a high, desperate moan when Geoff takes his cock into his mouth.

“ _ F-Fuck _ \- Geoff-” Geoff doesn’t answer him, just swallows him down deeper and moans around him. “G-God-” Gavin was decent at sucking cock, but he could never take him this deep without gagging. “W-Wait I-” Now Geoff pauses and looks up at him, but still doesn’t pull back. “I- I don’t want to come yet.” He whispers.

“Don’t you worry.” Geoff pulls off just enough to whisper the words against the head of his cock. “You’ll get more than one.” Michael’s next protest is cut off by a moan when Geoff wraps a hand around the base of his cock and swallows him down again.

“I- I can’t-” Michael blushes behind his hand and bites his lip. “I-I’m close-” Geoff moans around him, grips his hips a little tighter- and Michael’s  _ gone _ . He nearly cries when he comes down Geoff’s throat, and keeps his mouth covered tight to keep himself muffled.

“There we are.” Geoff chuckles breathlessly, pulling back and licking his lips. “Good boy.” He kisses Michael’s hip softly. “Beautiful boy.”

“God.” Michael pants. “That was-”

“Oh I’m not done with you.” Geoff coos, sitting up and reaching into a drawer next to his bed as he leans down for a kiss. Michael can’t see what he’s doing, but he hears the  _ pop _ of a cork over his own heavy breathing and groans against Geoff’s lips when a single slick finger presses against his hole. “This okay?”

“Y-Yes-  _ Please _ -” He pants quietly. Geoff covers his moan with another deep kiss and he melts into it. It’s easy to lose himself under Geoff’s gentle care- easy to let him know just how good he feels, even though he’s too breathless and blissed out to form real words by the time Geoff’s worked him open.

“Are you still with me  _ Kjæreste _ ?” Geoff chuckles, kissing his cheek gently as he pulls his fingers out slowly.

“I’m here.” Michael smiles and wraps his arms around Geoff’s neck when he leans over him for a kiss.

“Are you ready for more?”

“Been ready.” He laughs breathlessly- moaning when Geoff grabs his hip and moves forward to push in. “You don’t need to be gentle.” He whispers in his ear, giving him a little nip. Geoff practically growls against the side of his throat and pushes in all the way with one long thrust that makes Michael arch his back with a choked off moan.

“Oh fuck- gods you’re so tight.” Geoff groans. “So fucking good.” He sets a quick pace- hard, unrelenting thrusts that force the breath from Michael’s lungs and leave him helpless to do anything other than dig his nails into his back and hold on.

“G-Geoff- f-fuck-! I-” When Michael moans a little too loud, Geoff turns to kiss him quiet.

“Shh. Don’t want to wake Gavin, do you?” He murmurs against his lips.

“W-what? Don’t want to-” Michael gasps at a particularly hard thrust. “Don’t want them to hear what they’re missing out on?”

“Devious.” Geoff chuckles, keeping up his pace. “You want them to hear, hmm? You want your pretty Gavvy to hear me fucking the breath out of you?”

“Y-Yes-” Michael laughs, the sound coming out before he even realizes and Geoff laughs with him, still fucking him deep and hard-  _ desperately _ even. “ _ Gods _ yes!” He tips his head back when Geoff kisses and bites at his collarbones, leaving dark marks that he’s sure he’ll feel for days.

“Then sing for me  _ Kjæreste _ . Let them hear you. Let them hear how good you feel.” And Michael obliges- moaning loud, digging his nails deeper into Geoff’s skin and arching up against him. “That’s it-”

“I-I’m- I’m close- I’m so close Geoff, I-”

“What do you need?”

“N-Need to- Need y-your hand-” Michael gasps. “O-Or mine. I can’t-”

“Shh.” Geoff chuckles as he kisses him before he leans back a bit. Michael, despite himself, whines at the loss of his weight and warmth over him. “Go ahead.” He gives him a little grin and Michael shivers as he reaches down to wrap his fingers around his cock- giving himself a few quick strokes while Geoff watches. 

“F-Fuck-  _ Fuck- _ ”

“That’s it beautiful.” Geoff sighs, his pace not faltering and his light flaring in his eyes. “That’s it- come for me.”

“ _ Geoff- _ ” With his other hand, Michael reaches up to pull Geoff back into another kiss- and that’s all it takes. Before he can say so, he’s coming over his fingers, arching his back and clenching tighter around Geoff’s cock.

“ _ Shit- _ ” Geoff gasps against his lips as his hips still, and Michael feels his cock throb inside him and the warm rush of his come. “Gods- Michael…” He pants reaching to brush his hair off of his forehead with a smile and a breathless laugh. “Look at you.”

“W-What?” Michael laughs.

“You look-” Geoff pauses, just stroking his cheek gently with a smile so sincere that it makes Michael’s heart jump up into his throat. “Radiant.” Michael blushes at that.

“That’s a new one.” He laughs a little, but his voice comes out tight. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were trying to seduce me Mr. Ramsey.” He teases.

“Who’s to say I’m not?” Geoff teases back, his nose bumping against Michael’s when he leans in for a soft kiss. “A lovely thing like you? How could I be expected to stay away?” There’s a strange sort of longing in his voice that Michael chooses to ignore for the moment, even though he knows that it’s all he’ll be able to think about as he falls asleep- and for days to come.


	15. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you listen carefully you may be able to hear me screaming into the void to get rid of my nerves.
> 
> UNFORTUNATELY I am incapable of leaving any long work free of Dark Shit, so. Here we are. Everybody please join me in welcoming Jeremy Dooley and Conflict to the page.
> 
> (Seriously though, this is where I start to get a little darker, we start seeing what happened to Gavin, and Jeremy isn't exactly friendly with him)

Gavin leads the way back through the forest to the broken wall, picking over fallen branches carefully with Michael’s hand held tight in his own, the other hand clutching the small charm Geoff had given him like a life-line. It’s colder than usual here and he tries to chalk it up to the storm the night before and the clouds that still hang in the sky. But he can’t shake off the feeling of eyes on him.

“We’re going to be okay, right?” Michael whispers, squeezing his hand a little tighter.

“We’ll be fine.” He tries to smile, but the words catch in his throat.

“Gavvy.” Michael tries to pull him to a stop but he tugs him along.

“Ryan said not to stop until we got to the temple.”

“There’s no one here just- Look at me. Please.” Reluctantly, Gavin stops and turns to Michael. It hurts to see the fear in his eyes, and he wishes he could do something to ease that fear. “Do you think it was someone we know? What if we were followed out here- Gavin if somebody saw-”

“No. I don’t think it was anyone from home, if there was anyone there at all.” Gavin reaches out to cup Michael’s cheek gently. “I felt it too but… Maybe it was just Ryan.”

“Ryan? But- he was in bed with you all night wasn’t he?”

“Yes but, his magic is… Well his magic is sick. I suppose that’s the best way to put it. Geoff’s told me a little about it. Maybe that’s what we felt.”

“I don’t know… It was so  _ cold _ Gavvy… And the voice I heard- it didn’t sound like Ryan.”

“I’m sure Geoff will figure it out.” Now he manages a smile and leans down to kiss Michael soundly. “Now come on. I’m cold and I want to go home.”

The streets are surprisingly empty and Gavin’s heart beats hard behind his ribs when he sees Jay McClaine staring at him and Michael from inside a bakery. If anyone were to give them up- it would be him. But he just turns his back on them and goes back to his own business. Even though Jay isn’t following, Gavin can’t help feeling that there are eyes on them- that there’s someone waiting around every corner. The only thing that keeps him calm is Michael’s hand in his. Luckily it’s quiet all the way to the temple and he smiles when Jack comes to greet them.

“How is he?”

“He’ll be alright.” Gavin whispers, heading straight for the bedroom he and Michael share while Jack follows.

“And how are you?” He asks once the door is closed and locked.

“I’m okay.” He sighs, sitting down on the bed and rubbing his shoulder to get rid of some of the stiffness that’s settled in. “He said it was an accident but… I don’t believe him.”

“Me neither.” Michael adds.

“Why not?”

“That cut was too deep- too precise to be an accident…” Gavin sees Michael nod in agreement next to him and continues. “It was clean. Someone who knew what they were doing. I don’t think they wanted to kill him- just scare him.”

“Scaring a guy like Ryan isn’t an easy feat. At least it wasn’t when I knew him.” Jack mutters, sitting down on the bed opposite them. “But he’ll be okay?”

“Geoff said he would be.” Michael doesn’t look up as he speaks but Gavin can see him blushing a little. “He seemed spooked though. He had trouble sleeping.”

“He and Ryan have been together for a long time, of course he’d have trouble sleeping.” Jack reaches over to put a hand on his knee. “And he’s not stupid. If you two thought that someone attacked him, I’m sure he did too. He’s sharp. But if he says Ryan’s going to be okay, I’m inclined to believe him. Was there anything else?” Gavin hesitates for a moment but Michael answers for him.

“No. Nothing you need to hear about.” Jack looks confused for a moment but makes a little noise of understanding when Michael just raises an eyebrow.

“Well. You two look beat. I’ll leave you alone until dinner.”

“Thanks Jack.” Gavin smiles as he shows Jack to the door.

“Get cleaned up and get some rest.” Jack gives him a little smile in return and kisses his forehead. “I’m glad you’re home safe.” When he’s gone, Gavin sighs and leans against the door.

“Why didn’t you tell him?”

“He didn’t need to know. If he knew he might not let us go back.” Michael answers simply, standing to change his clothes. “And that’s not a chance I want to take.”

“Taken quite a shine to Geoffrey, haven't you.” Gavin teases.

“I-It’s not that-” Michael blushes darker. “I heard you and Ryan before we left.” He looks down at the floor, his brows knit together. “Did you mean it?”

“I-” Gavin chews his lip nervously. “I think so. But I still love you. And Jack. Geoff and I talked about it the other day- he said it’s never been a problem for the two of them, being open like this.”

“I mean it’s always worked for me, you and Jack.”

“It’s a bit different though innit? I mean… The three of us have known each other for years. Geoff and Ryan are new.”

“Not to Jack. And if he loved and trusted them then… Well then I think this could work.” Michael smiles and draws Gavin in for a kiss. “And you were right. I do really like Geoff.”

“Well I would hope so. After what I heard.”

“You heard?”

“You’re not exactly quiet, love.” He laughs.

“Funny. That’s what Geoff said about you.” Michael counters, giving him a playful shove. “Want to come take a bath? I feel filthy after that walk.”

“I’d love to.” Gavin gathers up fresh clothes for the both of them and leaves the clothes from the day before in a bundle in the corner, intending to take care of them later, then follows Michael into the bathroom connected to their bedroom and watches Michael fill the tub with a fond little smile. But in the back of his mind- that nagging little feeling of being watched starts to come back and he rubs the back of his neck to rid himself of the chill that creeps over him. Michael looks up at him and frowns.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. Just had an itch.” He lies. Before Michael can ask him again- and he knows he wants to- there’s a knock on the door.

“I’ll get it. You watch the water.” Michael stands slowly and heads for the door. Gavin can just barely hear him talking over the rush of water and when he comes back, his skin crawls.

“What is it?”

“Trevor’s here. But… I think there’s something wrong with him.”

“How do you mean?”

“I don’t really know. Something just feels  _ off _ . He’s with Alfredo now, but the two of them want us to come see them when we’re done getting cleaned up.” Michael looks almost as uneasy as he had back at Geoff and Ryan’s and it makes Gavin shiver. “I think we should make this quick. I don’t want Alfredo alone with him too long.”

“I’m sure he’ll be fine.” He tries to soothe Michael, running his hands down his arms slowly. “But we can hurry if it makes you feel better.”

Gavin wants so badly to just relax. He wants to just lay in the bath with Michael and then go curl up in bed with him. But Michael’s too squirmy and restless for that and soon they’re up and dressed again, headed for Alfredo’s room. As they get closer the hairs on the back of Gavin’s neck stand up and he swallows down the bile that rises in his throat when Michael knocks on the door. He’s surprised to see a third person in the room when the door opens, and he blinks, staring at the stranger sitting with Trevor.

“Hello there. Who’re you?” He asks carefully.

“Oh! Hi, I’m Jeremy. I’m a friend of Trevor’s. I hope it’s okay that I tagged along. I wanted to meet you.” The stranger stands and offers out a hand, and he notices deep scars on his knuckles and one on his forearm- just barely peeking out from under his sleeve.

“Why would you want to meet me?” Gavin takes the offered hand cautiously and immediately feels the spark of his magic.

“I think you know why.” He smiles. “Trevor told me about you and I was curious. Would you mind talking with me for a little bit?” Jeremy’s eyes flick over to Michael. “Alone?”

“Why alone?” Michael asks through clenched teeth.

“Michael.” Gavin puts a hand on his shoulder gently and smiles. “It’s fine. I’ll be alright. Come on then. Let’s take a walk.” He motions for Jeremy to follow him and heads straight for the front steps of the temple without another word, making his way to the garden.

“You know. When Trevor told me there was a priest in the north who was a Witch, I almost didn’t believe him.” Jeremy laughs, leaning down to examine a rose bush. “Back home, sure. But not here in the north.”

“And where are you from?” In his heart, Gavin already knows the answer. He already knows this is the same Jeremy Ryan had told him about-  _ warned _ him about. But he wants to hear it from him.

“Out east. Same as you.”

“Nobody knows where I’m from. Not even me.”

“You don’t remember?” Jeremy gives him a curious little look and Gavin shakes his head. “Not a thing?”

“Nothing at all. All I remember is showing up here.” Gavin sits down on a bench and folds his hands in his lap. “Why are you really here?”

“Where are they?” The friendliness is gone from Jeremy’s eyes, and he moves slowly to stand in front of Gavin, looming over him despite his smaller stature.

“Who?” He does his best to keep his heart from racing, looking up into Jeremy’s eyes steadily.

“Don’t-” Jeremy snaps then takes a deep breath. “Don’t play dumb with me, Gavin. Where. Are. They.”

“I don’t know who you’re talking about.” Gavin insists, even as Jeremy closes in on him and grabs him by the chin. He remembers what Ryan had told him about Jeremy’s magic being sick. How it left a bitter taste and made him feel sick. But he also feels the strength that Ryan had admired in him.

“I could always  _ make _ you talk.” Jeremy coos, brushing a thumb over Gavin’s lip. “Just like I made Trevor talk. He sang like a bird for me.”

“What did you do to Trevor?”

“You’ll find out if you keep playing these games with me. Now tell me where Geoff Ramsey and Ryan Haywood are.”

“I’m not telling you a damn thing.” Gavin finds his feet and stands, knocking Jeremy’s hand away from his chin and starting to turn away.

“I don’t actually need you to tell me, you know.” Something catches Gavin around the waist and he looks down, almost expecting to see Jeremy holding him back, but there’s nothing. “One way or another, I’ll find out.” He feels a familiar little prickle of magic in the back of his mind and his breath catches. It feels like the same trick Geoff uses- but  _ wrong _ and he bites his tongue around a whimper.

“Stop-” He manages to whisper. He does his best to put up the same walls he’d used to keep Geoff out, but the next push of Jeremy’s magic is a  _ stab _ and he gasps. “Please- I don’t know who-” The next push is even stronger- sharper- and this time, Gavin  _ screams _ \- falling to his knees.

“Go ahead. They can’t hear you.” Jeremy sighs, sitting on the bench in front of him. “We’ve got all the time in the world. So you can tell me now or we could just keep playing.” He smiles almost sweetly down at him and Gavin screams again at the next stab of magic in his head. “He fucked you?” The playfulness leaves Jeremy’s voice and he reaches out again, this time grabbing Gavin by the throat and lifting him up. “Answer me.”

“Why- why do you care?” Gavin pants, meeting Jeremy’s gaze defiantly.

“Because you still belong to me.”

“What are you on about? I’ve never met you before in my life.”

“ _ Think _ Gavin. I know you remember  _ something _ .” Jeremy’s grip tightens and Gavin struggles to pull in a breath.

“I don’t- I don’t remember anything-”

“Well maybe Geoff can shed some light for us hm?” Jeremy yanks him to his feet. “I can tell he’s already used his little trick on you. He taught me too. But he’ll be able to get deeper than I can.”

“Let me go!” Gavin tries to struggle against the tight grip Jeremy has on his arm but finds that he can’t even move now. “Jeremy please-” He chokes. “I don’t know you- I don’t know what you want from me.”

“I want you. To take me to Ryan Haywood and Geoffrey Ramsey.” Gavin’s legs move on their own accord and he trembles as Jeremy leads him out of the garden. “And then we’re going home. Do you have any idea how long I’ve been looking for you? How long your  _ mother _ has been looking for you? Oh Gav she’ll be so happy to see you.” Something in Jeremy’s tone changes. It’s  _ warm _ \- so close to familiar that it hurts but he can’t cry.

“What do you mean you’ve been looking for me?”

“You went missing after we got sick. But I knew you were still out there. I went everywhere. Even down to the Southlands. That’s where I met Geoff and Ryan- but you’ve already heard about that.” Gavin can’t speak- Jeremy isn’t letting him. “But you weren’t there. I came here too, but I was run out of town before I found you the first time. So when Trevor told me- gods Gavin, you have no idea how happy I was.” Jeremy smiles a little as they walk through the commons. When they get closer to the broken wall Gavin freezes up and Jeremy looks around curiously.

“Take me back.” He begs. “Please let me go back- I won’t let you hurt them.”

“What makes you think I’m going to hurt them?” Jeremy’s tone is sickeningly sweet. “Lead the way.” Jeremy gives him a shove that sends him tripping over his own feet. Again- he’s not given a choice and Gavin finds himself tripping up over the familiar rubble before he can fight back.

Jeremy chats with him idly as they walk, every word only making Gavin’s stomach churn uneasily. He talks about the village they supposedly lived in together. How close they used to be- that they were in love. He tells him about how sick with worry his mother has been and how hard it’s been for her since his father passed away. Out of everything,  _ that’s _ what brings tears to his eyes. He doesn’t know if Jeremy’s lying or not, but the thought of his mother alone- it tugs at his heart even if he doesn’t remember her.

“Gavin?” Geoff’s voice shakes him free of whatever hold Jeremy has on him and before he can get his claws back into him, Gavin  _ runs _ . “Gavvy! What’s going-” Geoff takes a few steps towards him but freezes when he sees Jeremy. “Get behind me.” He orders, grabbing Gavin by the wrist when he gets close and pulling him back.

“Is that any way to greet an old friend Geoffrey?” Jeremy smiles.

“What are you doing here Jeremy?” Geoff’s voice comes out cold and Gavin can see his light pulsing bright behind the ink that winds up his arms.

“Remember the friend I told you about all those years ago? Well there he is.” Jeremy laughs as he gestures at Gavin. “I have spent  _ so long _ trying to find him- and trying to find you and Ryan again. I’m still not happy about the way we left things.”

“You mean when you almost killed Ryan and left him to bleed out in your fucking house before you ran? Strikingly similar to the way you left him yesterday. You really should change up your patterns.”

“I admit it was a little sloppy. But can you blame me? I’m out of practice.” Jeremy just smiles as he comes closer. “Give me time and I’ll be just as good as I was last time you saw me.”

“One step closer and I’ll fucking kill you. Understand? I should have gone looking for you the second Ryan told me you were back.”

“When did he say that?” Gavin asks, looking up at Geoff with wide eyes.

“Just after you left. He didn’t want to scare you…” Geoff’s arm tightens around his shoulders. “Get out of here Jeremy. This doesn’t have to get worse.”

“I’m not leaving without Gavin.” Gavin can feel the crackle of Jeremy’s magic when he speaks and his own marks burn- the pain sending him to his knees.

“Gavvy!” Geoff follows him down, trying to catch him. “Hey, hey. Look at me, okay? Just look at me. Don’t look down.” He can see the fear in Geoff’s eyes and despite himself, he tries to look at his hands. But Geoff just cups his cheek and tips his face up. “Don’t.” He chokes.

“You can’t hide the truth from him forever. It’s a wonder he hasn’t seen it already.”

“Geoff-” Gavin can’t keep his voice from shaking despite his best efforts. “Geoff what’s happening?”

“What did you do to him?” When he hears Ryan’s voice- strained and still a little far off- Gavin buries his face in Geoff’s shoulder to hide a little sob.

“What are you doing out here?” Geoff snaps. “Get back to the house.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Ryan’s hand on him soothes some of the pain that burns up his arm and he leans into him when Geoff stands to face Jeremy again.

“Leave.” He orders. “Get out of my sight.”

“Not. Without. Gavin.” Another crack of Jeremy’s power shakes him to his bones and he screams into Ryan’s shoulder. “I’m not going back without him.”

“Liar-” Gavin pants. “You’re lying. I’ve never seen you before in my life. E- Everything you told me- my parents, me getting sick- it’s all lies. It has to be.”

“Go ahead. Let Geoff dig around in your head. He’ll find the truth for you.” Jeremy sounds far too smug.

“You’re sick.” Ryan practically growls. “How dare you-” He breaks off with a gasp and his arms go tighter around Gavin.

“I thought yesterday would have reminded you not to cross me Ryan. Go on Geoff. Or are you afraid that your little light won’t be as bright as you’ve made him out to be? Are you afraid that you’ll find out he’s Blighted, just like me?”

“He’s not.” Ryan’s voice shakes. “H-He can’t be. I would have seen it. I would have  _ felt _ it!”

“ _ Look _ Ryan! Look at his marks! Look at his  _ eyes _ ! You can’t deny that!”

“R-Ryan?” When he looks up, there’s pain in Ryan’s eyes. There’s  _ fear _ in Ryan’s eyes. And it sets Gavin’s heart racing. “Ryan please- What’s happening-”

“Oh darling-” Ryan’s hand on his cheek sends a new- stronger- jolt of pain through him. And his body can’t keep up anymore. The last thing he hears before everything goes black is Ryan screaming.


	16. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW for illness and blood magic
> 
> Some of Gavin's past

Gavin can’t catch his breath. He can’t breathe and everything hurts- that’s all he knows. He can barely even find the strength to open his eyes. But he can feel someone next to him, just sitting on his bed and touching his cheek gently. It’s a woman- she’s singing softly, but her voice cracks and soon he hears her crying and makes a weak grab for the hand that just rests on his shoulder now.

“Gavin? Darling can you hear me?” He nods a little, but can’t speak. “Don’t worry my love. Your father’s gone for help. You’re going to be alright…”

“Gavin? Jeremy’s here to see you.” This time, Gavin manages to open his eyes a little to see his mother standing over him at the side of his bed, running her fingers through his hair gently. “Is it alright if he comes in?”

“That’s fine-” He manages to croak out before coughing again.

“Hey Gavvy.” Jeremy’s quiet voice brings a little bit of relief and Gavin manages a small smile. “How are you feeling?”

“A little better today. Found my voice.” He laughs weakly.

“That’s great.” Jeremy smiles as he sits on the edge of his bed, leaning down to kiss his forehead. “Still no break in the fever?”

“No. Not yet.” He sighs, letting Jeremy help him sit up a little. “What’s that you’ve got there love?” He asks, nodding at a pack he sees by his nightstand.

“Ma sends her love. And bread.” Jeremy chuckles. “And soup. Anything she could fit in there really. For all three of you.”

“That’s sweet of her.” His mother smiles as she picks up the pack, opening it to pull out a smaller container that Jeremy points out and leaving that on the bedside table. “I’ll leave you two alone for now.” She leans down to kiss Gavin on the cheek.

“I won’t be long.” Jeremy assures her.

“You stay as long as you’d like. You’ve been such a help lately Jeremy, it’s a joy to have you around.”

“That’s very kind. But they need me on the farm in the morning. Gotta get to bed early.”

“Well you know you’re always welcome.” The second Gavin’s mother shuts the door behind her, Jeremy leans down to kiss him soundly- but he pushes him away.

“Jer- don’t… I don’t want you to get sick too…” Gavin whispers.

“Gavvy… I’m probably going to get sick anyway. Coming to visit you like this. Besides… Half the village is sick now…” Jeremy holds his hand gently. “I had an idea. Something that could help. But… It’s risky.”

“What is it?” Gavin groans, sitting up a bit more as Jeremy opens the container of soup. He doesn’t answer right away- just chewing his lip, his light flickering up behind his marks. Seeing it makes Gavin smile. A beautiful green that reminds him of the open fields and forests around their village. Jeremy’s always had a penchant for caring for the wilds and it shows in his magic.

“I found some books at the library in the next town.” He starts slowly, keeping his voice low. “I- I can’t read most of it. But there are a few spells there that could help. I could save you- save our people.”

“What’s risky about it?” He takes the bowl carefully and takes a slow sip before Jeremy takes it back and sets it down again.

“It’s old magic Gavin… Really old magic. And it’s… It’s not legal.” Jeremy whispers, taking his hand again.

“Jeremy? Jeremy you’re scaring me…” Gavin lets Jeremy take his other hand when he reaches for it. “What are you doing?”

“You have to  _ promise _ not to tell.”

“I promise.”

“It’s blood magic… I-I haven’t tried anything yet! But I really think it could help!” Gavin’s breath catches in his throat and he just stares, wide-eyed and horrified. He’s read a little about blood magic but it makes him feel sick to his stomach so he tries to avoid it in his studies. Besides that, most of it isn’t in his own language, so he has no reason to look it up.

“Y-You can’t- that’s-”

“I have to do something.” Jeremy’s voice cracks a little and he squeezes Gavin’s hands gently. “I have to  _ try _ . Because if I don’t try I- if I lost you… I don’t know what I would do…”

“You’re not going to lose me Jeremy. I’m already getting better.” Gavin tries to smile through the half-lie. He still feels awful- still can’t get a good breath, he can barely get up on his own, and his fever hasn’t shown any sign of letting up. But he isn’t about to tell Jeremy that.

“I’ll be careful. I’ll do my research.”

“I suppose that’s all I can ask for if you’ve already made up your mind… I don’t want to lose you either.”

“You won’t. I promise.” Jeremy smiles and leans down to kiss him again- just a little peck on his lips- then sits back to help him eat what he can. It’s slow going. His throat hurts too much to eat more than a little bit even though he hasn’t had a full meal since he got sick weeks ago.

Eventually, Jeremy leaves, giving him one last quick kiss before he does, and Gavin listens to him saying goodbye to his parents in the other room before he falls into an uneasy sleep. He hasn’t slept well in weeks- even before he got sick, the worry of his whole community falling ill has kept him awake. The fever doesn’t help either, and he finds himself waking up in a cold sweat more than once.

Gavin doesn’t know how many days he spends sleeping, but when he finally wakes up enough to do more than eat a few bites or be helped into a bath, it’s Jeremy that’s sitting over him instead of his mother or father, and he looks excited-  _ nervous _ .

“Jeremy?” He groans. “What’s going on?”

“Come on. Get up. You need to come with me.”

“What? Why?” Gavin barely has time to gather his thoughts before Jeremy’s helping him out of bed and out of his home, and when he gets outside he’s surprised to see that it’s the middle of the night. “Jeremy?”

“Come on. Quick.” Confused, and honestly a little frightened, Gavin follows him through town to a building at the edge of the forest that he recognizes as a small home Jeremy’s family owns- using it as a second place to stay to keep a better eye on their expansive farm. He’s snuck into this very home with Jeremy plenty of times in the last couple of years, but this time he’s chilled to the bone. He doesn’t know if it’s just the fever playing tricks on him but there’s something different about this place- something  _ wrong _ with the place they’ve called a haven in the past.

“Wait-” He grabs Jeremy by the wrist to stop him. “Tell me what’s going on.” He demands. But Jeremy just shushes him gently and leans up to kiss his cheek.

“It’s okay. I figured it all out.” Jeremy’s eyes glow with his light and there’s something wrong with  _ that _ too. It’s not the bright, verdant green that he loves so dearly. It’s darker. And when Jeremy takes his jacket off, Gavin gasps and covers his mouth- horrified by what he sees. There’s a darkness spreading up from his fingertips, sunken into his marks and the light there isn’t even green anymore. It’s a deep red.

“What’s happened to you…?” He whispers through his fingers.

“Don’t be scared! Don’t be scared- it’s okay I promise.” Jeremy takes one of his hands in both of his own and smiles. “I figured it all out.” He repeats, his voice shaky with excitement. “I know how to help you-  _ everybody _ .” He leads Gavin to the cellar and when he gets down the stairs, he chokes on the smell of blood.

“What have you done?” Gavin can hear his own voice shaking as well- but from terror and exhaustion. Even the short walk to the Dooley’s cabin has him struggling to breathe and sweating.

“Come here. Sit down.” Jeremy urges, leading him to a plush chair that he knows used to sit upstairs. “I’m gonna make everything better, Gavvy.” He whispers, giving him a little kiss. “You’ll see.”

Gavin can’t keep his eyes open and he can barely hear what Jeremy’s doing over the pounding of his pulse in his ears. He can hear him talking, mostly to himself as he moves around the room.

“Hey. Come on. Open your eyes. I need you to stay awake for me.” Jeremy cups his cheek gently and Gavin whines.

“I can’t- Jeremy I need to go home… I need to get back in bed.”

“Soon, okay? Soon, I promise. I’m almost done.”

“Jeremy you’re scaring me…” He whispers.

“No, no, no! Don’t be scared. Hey. Look at me.” Jeremy tips his chin up. “It’s okay. You don’t have to be afraid of me. You love me right?” Gavin nods weakly. “Then just  _ trust _ me.”

Gavin does his best to stay awake. He wants to trust Jeremy- he loves him, he really does. But this… this is too much. He wants to beg again to go home but before he can even open his mouth, Jeremy’s there again, taking his hand and helping him to his feet.

“Jer?”

“Sit up here for me. Just hold still okay?” Gavin doesn’t have much of a choice but to hold still- he’s too weak to do anything even when he feels a sharp pain in his palm and gasps. “Shh… It’s okay.” Jeremy runs his fingers through his hair and holds him gently against his chest. “It’s alright… I’m here.”

“What did you do?” Gavin squirms and tries to pull away but Jeremy just holds him closer.

“Don’t worry. It’s not deep. It won’t leave a scar. I’ll bandage it up for you when I’m done.”

“Jeremy what did you do?” Gavin feels fresh panic rising up in his chest and yanks his hand away. It’s dark here in the basement- only a few candles sit lit on the table next to them- but he can still clearly see the blood dripping from his palm.

“I needed some of yours too. It won’t work without it.” He watches, frozen with fear, as his blood drips down onto the table- sinking into a few sigils carved into the wood. Before he can speak again, he’s wracked by fresh pain and he screams, folding forward and holding himself around the middle. “Gavvy!” Jeremy catches him before he falls.

“What have you done?” He sobs. “What have you  _ done!? _ ”

“I-I’m sorry! I- I don’t know what happened- I thought I did e-everything right-” Jeremy’s voice shakes as he helps Gavin back into the soft armchair before going back to his books. “I don’t know what’s happening-” He mutters a few words and Gavin’s marks burn hot enough to make him scream again. “I-It’s okay- I-I can fix it. I can fix it! Uh- j-just- h-hold on- umm-  _ Fuck _ .”

“P-Please-” Gavin gasps, begging between his sobs. “Please Jeremy make it stop-”

“I’m trying!” Jeremy’s crying now- Gavin can hear it. “I just- I don’t see where I went wrong! It worked before!” A few more shaky words and Gavin can’t even scream this time. He can’t even  _ breathe _ through the pain. “No, no, no-” He manages to pick his head up a little when Jeremy grabs his shoulders. “Gavvy? Gavvy can you hear me?”

“J-Jer-”

“It’ll be okay- I’ve got you. I-I’m going to make it better. I can fix this!” Jeremy sobs, holding his face in both hands. “I can fix it-”

When Gavin wakes up he’s back in his own bed with Jeremy sleeping in a chair next to him and he breathes a sigh of relief. Just a dream. He groans as he sits up a little and the noise wakes Jeremy.

“Gavvy?”

“Morning Jer.” He smiles a little.

“H-How do you feel?” He asks, scrambling up to sit on the edge of his bed and cup his cheek gently. “Are you alright?”

“I’m alright. Sore. The fever isn’t doing me any favors. Thirsty.” Jeremy hurries to grab the glass of water on his bedside table and helps him take a slow drink.

“Gavvy- I’m so sorry… I- I tried.”

“Wait- It- it wasn’t a dream?” The little bubble of relief in his chest pops and he gasps.

“I tired to fix it… I- I did everything I could.” Jeremy coughs into his elbow. “I’m sorry I put you through that…”

“A-Are you alright?” New fear sneaks up on him and Jeremy smiles weakly.

“I’m sick Gav… I’ve been okay until now but… I’ve had it for at least a week.”

“You what?” Gavin breathes, just staring at Jeremy with wide eyes.

“I’m sick… That’s why I- That’s why I tried so hard to get this to work. If I got sick how was I supposed to help anyone else? Maybe that’s what went wrong. I’ll try again when I get better.”

“No- Jeremy you can’t do that again I- I thought I was dying last night.” He whispers. “How did you get me back here?”

“You don’t remember?”

“No I- I passed out.”

“Only for a minute.” Jeremy studies his eyes carefully. “You came to pretty quickly. You walked back on your own.”

“I did?”

“Yeah. You- you looked better than you have in weeks.”

“I don’t remember that at all.” Gavin struggles to catch his breath. Somehow the loss of memory frightens him more than what he’d seen the night before. “I certainly don’t feel any better…”

“What do we do…?”

“We wait. No one in your family is sick right?”

“No. Not yet.” Jeremy squeezes his hand and Gavin squeezes back.

“You should stay here until we’re both better. I’m sure my folks wouldn’t mind.”

“Alright. We can try again when we get better.”

“No. Jeremy we- I’m not going through that again… I can’t.”

“But we have to do  _ something _ … I know I can get it to work- I  _ know _ I can. Please let me try again.” There’s something beyond desperation in Jeremy’s eyes- a sort of manic joy that makes Gavin sick to his stomach. “I need to try again.”

“I’m not helping you again.” Gavin snaps, but he closes his mouth quickly when he remembers his parents are probably still in the house. “I can’t go through that again.”

“Fine.” Jeremy stands, but Gavin holds tight to his hand.

“Don’t go…” He whispers. “Please don’t go. I’ll stand by you I just- I can’t help you… I thought I was going to die, it hurt so bad. Doesn’t it hurt you?”

“No. I mean. It did a little when I started but no more than getting a cut on the farm. But now. I feel…  _ Powerful _ , Gavin. Like this is what I’m  _ supposed _ to be doing.”

“There’s a reason blood magic is illegal Jeremy… Somebody’s going to get hurt if you keep going. And I don’t want it to be you…”

“I told you I would be careful. And I’m being careful. I just- I must have read something wrong last night, that’s all. I’ll check my notes again, I’ll make sure my translations are right. Just one more time. Then I won’t ask you again- I promise.” Gavin chews his lip for a moment before sighing and squeezing his hand again.

“One more time. That’s it.” He agrees hesitantly.

“I won’t let you down this time.” Jeremy smiles and leans in to give him a kiss. “We can do this.”

Despite his promise to wait until they’ve both recovered, Jeremy wakes Gavin up in the middle of the night just two days later. He’s still not as sick as Gavin is, and he’s been pacing at all hours of the day and night- even when Gavin begs him to just lay down and rest.

“Come on. Let’s go.” Jeremy whispers in the dark.

“You said we would wait until we were better.” Gavin murmurs, rolling over to face away from him and pulling his blankets up tighter around his shoulders.

“We can’t wait anymore. Come on.” Jeremy repeats, more forcefully this time as he yanks Gavin out of bed.

“Jeremy!” He hisses through his teeth- trying to keep his voice low to avoid waking his family. “Stop- I’m not going. Not right now.”

“We’re going.” Jeremy’s light flickers weakly in his eyes. “I need to try now.” When Gavin opens his mouth to protest again- he’s horrified to find that no sound comes out no matter how hard he tries. He knows he should be screaming by now- he should be waking everyone on his street. But nothing comes out. Jeremy just meets his gaze, out of breath and shaking. “Now.” He orders.

Gavin lets Jeremy lead him out of his house and back to the edge of the woods- not that he has any choice. He still can’t scream and his limbs won’t cooperate when he tries to pull away to run. The small house feels even colder now, and he trembles as he’s led down to the cellar again.

“Last time. I promise.” Jeremy mutters as he moves around the room. “I figured out what I did wrong.” Gavin watches in horror as Jeremy’s light changes right in front of his eyes. The green he fell in love with is gone- replaced by a deep red that holds no warmth.

“What?” He’s surprised by his own voice when he manages to find it. Jeremy turns back to him and gives him a shaky smile, coming closer and reaching up to cup his cheek gently.

“I love you.” He whispers. “Please remember I love you.”

“I love you too Jer.” Gavin breathes, trying to keep from shaking. “What are you-” Pain shoots through him from his side and he gasps as he falls, reaching up to hold the spot and sobbing when he feels blood welling up between his fingers. “J-Jeremy?”

“I didn’t have enough.” Jeremy’s voice shakes and Gavin can see tears in his eyes. “I’m sorry- I’m sorry-”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could really use some comments on this one. I was real nervous about posting these last two chapters.


	17. Chapter 16

Ryan does his best to pick Gavin up without pulling his stitches- panting and cursing through his teeth until Geoff eases him back down to the ground while Jeremy just watches. The too familiar bitterness of The Blight hangs heavy in the air and he can’t breathe. His hand shakes as he touches the marks on Gavin’s forearm- now as black as his own and he chokes on his heartbreak. How did he not see it sooner? How had he not  _ felt _ it? Ryan knows what Blighted magic feels like but Gavin has only ever felt warm. He’s only ever been bright.

“He’s not lying.” Geoff chokes behind him. “Jeremy he- he  _ trusted _ you.”

“What did he do.” Ryan forces himself to his feet to face Jeremy again. It’s the first time in years that he’s seen him properly. Even yesterday he hadn’t gotten a good look at him- between the storm and the dark shop, the only things that had given Jeremy away were his voice and his light.

“Ryan.” Geoff tries to put a hand on his shoulder but he shrugs it off to grab Jeremy by the front of his shirt.

“What did you do to him!?”

“I cured him.” Jeremy answers calmly. But his voice cracks as he continues. “I found a way to stop the Blight from killing him! And instead of the thanks I deserve I’ve been driven out of my home! I was trying to  _ help people _ !” 

“You almost killed him!  _ Twice _ !” Geoff shouts. “After he begged you to stop! After you told him you  _ loved him _ ! How is that helping!?”

“I made it work didn’t I!? He’s still alive!”

“He’s a shell! You took everything from him! I’ve been in his head Jeremy!”

“If he would have just stayed put I could have fixed that too!” Jeremy shouts back. “I made a mistake but I was going to fix it!”

“You shouldn’t have done it in the first place!”

“Is that what I was?” Ryan mutters, his grip on Jeremy’s shirt going lax. “Was I just an experiment for you? Trying to figure out how to fix what you fucked up?” Jeremy stares up at him and opens his mouth, but doesn’t say anything. “Answer me.”

“At first, yes.” He finally whispers. “But Ryan- I promise it became more than that.”

“I don’t believe you.” Ryan takes a step back. “I never should have believed you.”

“You wanted it too. You wanted that power too Ryan. You’re no better than I am.”

“No- I-”

“You can’t lie to me.” Jeremy closes in on him this time, grabbing his arm and tugging him back in. “Geoff never saw you with me. He never saw the way you  _ begged _ for it. You wanted me to tear you to pieces, remember?” He coos. “You got off on the way I hurt you. Can Geoff hurt you like that? I don’t think he can.”

“That- that’s different.” Ryan licks his lips nervously while Geoff watches from where he’s knelt back down next to Gavin.

“Is it though?” Jeremy glances down at Gavin and smiles a little before looking back up at him. “You’ll be back. Both of you. Sooner or later you’ll come looking for me again. And I’ll be waiting for you. Until then.” Ryan makes a little noise in the back of his throat when Jeremy grabs him by the front of his shirt and yanks him down for a kiss that knocks the wind out of him. And he’s gone- turning and walking off deeper into the woods before Ryan even has a chance to say anything.

“Ryan?” Geoff puts a gentle hand on his shoulder that shakes him out of the too familiar stupor that Jeremy always seemed to be able to put him in.

“We need to get Gavin out of here.” He mutters.

“We need to talk about this.”

“Not until he’s safe.” He snaps, wincing and holding his side. “Fuck…”

“I’ll-” Geoff swallows and looks back towards the city. “I’ll get him back to the temple.”

“Geoff you don’t have to- I know how you feel about that place.”

“It doesn’t matter right now. You need to get home- get back in bed. My fear isn’t as important as Gavin’s safety.” Geoff cups his cheek gently and leans in to touch their foreheads together. “We’ll talk when I get back. But don’t wait up for me. I- I’m going to talk to Jack. Gavin can’t be out alone until we figure out what to do about Jeremy…”

“Alright. Be safe. I love you Geoffrey.”

“I love you too  _ Kjæreste _ .  _ Du er mitt lys. _ ” Ryan’s heart skips a beat at his words.

“Geoff-” He remembers hearing his parents saying those same words. He’s heard it from other couples but never from Geoff- even in all the years they’ve been together. They go far beyond ‘I love you’.

“I’ve told you before, you know.” Geoff smiles, giving him a soft kiss. “While you sleep. Watching you work. I’ve been saying so for years. I just never knew if you felt the same.” His voice shakes a little and Ryan reaches up to grab him by the back of the neck to draw him into a deeper kiss.

“Idiot.” He laughs quietly. “Of course I do.”

“Glad to hear it. Can you get home on your own?”

“I’ll be fine. Made it out here didn’t I?” Ryan keeps his hand tight against his side, hoping that Geoff won’t notice the blood he can feel seeping up through his shirt from a pulled stitch.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can.” Geoff assures him with one last quick kiss before he kneels down next to Gavin again. “Gavin? Darling, can you hear me?” Ryan doesn’t leave until Gavin makes a little noise and he sees his eyes open a little.

“Take care of him.” He whispers before slipping away into the trees.

Geoff watches Ryan go with his heart caught in his throat. He wishes he could take Ryan with him- he knows he’ll need the help to get Gavin back home, but having him safe in bed is more important.

“Gavvy… Come on  _ Kjæreste _ . Open your eyes.” He cups Gavin’s cheek gently with one hand and runs the fingers of his other hand through his hair. “Come on. Wake up for me.”

“Geoffrey?” Gavin’s voice comes out raspy and weak but when he opens his eyes a little, Geoff breathes a sigh of relief. “Where-”

“Shh it’s alright. You’re safe. I’m going to get you home.”

“What happened?”

“I’m not sure.” He lies softly. “But it’s okay. He’s gone now.”

“Who?” Gavin blinks up at him and Geoff’s breath catches in his chest.

“Never mind…” He whispers. “Come on. Let’s get you home.” He stands slowly and offers a hand to Gavin, saying a silent thanks to any god that’s listening that the darkness of Blight has retreated, leaving only bright gold shining through his marks. “Do you think you can walk?”

“I think so. As long as you’re here to help me.” Gavin smiles up at him and Geoff realizes right then that he’s just as gone for this boy as Ryan is.

“Of course I’ll help you. I’ll be here to help as long as you need  _ Kjæreste. _ ” He wraps an arm around Gavin’s waist to support him as they pick their way back through the forest and into the city. “Do you remember how you got out there?”

“No I- The last thing I remember is getting out of the bath with Michael…” Gavin pauses and Geoff waits patiently. “Geoff… What’s happening to me?” He whispers.

“I- I’m not sure. But I’ll figure it out, I promise.” He kisses Gavin on the cheek softly, trying to push back the fear he feels when he sees the cloudiness in his eyes. “Come along. It’s getting late, and I don’t want you out here in the dark.”

“You don’t have to go all the way up with me.” Gavin smiles a little. “I know how you feel about the temple.”

“No I-” Geoff swallows nervously. “I need to talk to Jack.”

As they get closer and closer to the temple, Geoff tries his best to keep calm. He hasn’t set foot in  _ any _ temple in at least twenty years and the thought of stepping foot here has his heart racing. Gavin seems to be gaining strength the longer they walk, but it’s clear that he’s exhausted, and he leans heavily against Geoff’s shoulder. When they get to the gates around the temple, Geoff pauses and takes a deep breath, and Gavin gives his hand a squeeze.

“It’s alright love. Nobody here knows who you are.”

“Geoffrey?” Geoff looks up the steps when Jack’s voice reaches him.

“Jack- Jack help.” He gasps.

“Gavvy!” Jack hurries down the steps to help him support Gavin. “What the hell happened? What are you doing here?” Geoff flinches at his harsh tone, but manages to keep his composure.

“We need to talk, Jack. It’s serious.” He hopes beyond hope that Jack won’t send him away and holds his breath.

“Bring him inside. We can talk in private.”

“Thank you.” He breathes. Jack gives him a look- something cautious but hopeful and Geoff’s heart twists in his chest. “Come along  _ Kjæreste _ . Let’s get you back into bed.” He whispers to Gavin, keeping a careful arm around his waist, and keeping his head down as he follows Jack through the temple. He does his best to ignore the stares and whispers- reminding himself that nobody knows he’s a Witch. Most of the priests in the temple have seen him before down in the commons, but that doesn’t stop him feeling like a stranger.

“This is his room here.” Jack murmurs, pushing open a door to reveal a panicked Michael with two other young men trying to calm him.

“Gavin!” He gasps, rushing over to pull Gavin into his arms. “Where the hell did you go? What happened? Where’s Jeremy?”

“Who?” Geoff’s heart breaks when he hears the shake in Gavin’s voice- and sees Michael’s eyes go wide.

“Gav- seriously. Where is he?” One of the strangers- wearing clothes that he recognizes as ranger’s gear from West Plains- asks as he stands. A little glimmer of silver in his eyes catches Geoff’s attention and he meets his gaze carefully, letting him see just a bit of his light.

“What’s your name?”

“Trevor- Trevor Collins, sir.”

“How do you know that man Trevor?” He asks carefully.

“He’s a friend. Why? What happened?”

“Who are you?” The other stranger- another priest who looks so much like Trevor that Geoff may have mistaken them for brothers- comes to stand next to him.

“My name’s Geoff. I’ll be back to explain to the rest of you. I need to discuss this with Jack in private first.”

“Why can’t you tell us?” Michael looks up at him and he has to fight himself to keep from reaching out to touch him. Jack may know about what he’s done with Gavin, but he doesn’t want to get Michael into any trouble.

“I will soon. I promise. But this is serious.” He offers Michael a little smile. “Jack? Shall we?” When Jack turns his back to leave the room Trevor grabs Geoff’s sleeve carefully.

“Don’t tell him.” He whispers, a fear that Geoff knows all too well lighting up his eyes.

“I won’t.” He nods with a little smile, before following Jack a little further down the hall into another bedroom, bigger, but less cluttered than Gavin’s- which he assumes he shares with Michael.

“Geoff what the hell is going on?” Jack grabs him by the arm once the door is shut and locked and Geoff’s breath hitches.

“Jack I-” Despite himself, Geoff can’t help getting lost in the deep hazel eyes he fell in love with all those years ago. “I’m so sorry… I’m sorry for everything-” He chokes.

“We’re not here to talk about the past.”

“To understand what happened today, you need to know what happened back then.” Geoff sighs and runs a hand back through his hair nervously. “When you knew us, there was someone else. He- He hurt Ryan. He’s a big part of the reason Ryan did what he did… That man was in your temple today. Jeremy Dooley.”

“Jeremy- Ryan mentioned him. When you were- I came back when you were in prison. Ryan’s mind was gone. He was rambling about revenge. Said Jeremy would be able to help him get you out. Who is he?”

“Another Witch. He got involved with blood magic. I know it might not mean much to you, but I’m sure you can imagine just how bad it can get. Apparently he… He grew up with Gavin. In the Eastern Kingdom.”

“I always thought that’s where he came from.”

“He’s Blighted Jack… They both are.”

“Oh god-” Jack sits and covers his mouth with one hand. “Does… Does Gavin know?”

“I don’t know. Jeremy used him… He thought he could help cure the Blight with blood magic and-” Geoff swallows back the sick feeling rising in his stomach. “He experimented with Gavin.”

“Oh my god…”

“That’s why he doesn’t remember anything. He had a moment of lucidity out there. I looked.”

“You said you wouldn’t do that anymore.” He scolds with a weak smile.

“Dire circumstances.” Geoff chuckles, sitting in a chair across from him. “Jeremy did…  _ something _ . I’m not sure what it was, but Gavin passed out. While he was unconscious I took a look in his head. Jack… What I saw in his memories- it was awful. He and Jeremy got sick around the same time. Jeremy thought that he could cure him. He did- but at the cost of Gavin’s mind.”

“How did they know each other?”

“They were in love.” Geoff answers simply- flatly- looking back down at the floor. “And Jeremy betrayed him… And he’s the one who hurt Ryan yesterday.”

“Where is Jeremy now?”

“I don’t know.” He sighs. “He left before I could wake Gavin up again.” He’s careful to leave Ryan out of his story now. Jack’s seen him at his worst so he knows what he’s capable of. He knows he’d ask why Ryan didn’t kill him on sight.

“So what do we do?”

“You have to make sure he doesn’t step foot on these grounds again. I think he may have manipulated Trevor into bringing him here.”

“And what about Gavin? What do we do about him?” Jack glances at the door and Geoff chews his lip nervously.

“I- Jack you’re not gonna like this-”

“Geoff-”

“I think he should stay with Ryan and I for now… Just until we can figure out where Jeremy went and figure out what we need to do about him. He’ll be safer there with us- we can protect him. And I can set something up here to protect you, Michael and the others.”

“I want Michael to go with him. He doesn’t do well without him.”

“You’re not going to stop him from coming?” Geoff blinks, surprised.

“If this is what you think is best…” Jack looks up at him and the pain he can see in his eyes breaks Geoff’s heart. “I only want what’s best for him.” Geoff hesitates for a moment before reaching out for Jack’s hand- the familiar warmth making his marks tingle and his light pulse under his tattoos. Of course Jack notices. And he smiles.

“What?” He chuckles.

“I missed you.” Jack’s voice cracks and Geoff squeezes his hand.

“I missed you too, Jack.” He whispers. “I should have tried to find you before now. I know that. But I couldn’t put you in danger… After what they did to me- If they found you I- I never could have lived with myself.”

“I thought you were dead. All the reports that came back from that city said that everything was gone.”

“There was a lot of damage- I won’t deny that. But the city was still standing when we left. If it fell then it had nothing to do with us. I’m so sorry… I still-”

“I know. So do I.” Jack gives his hand a squeeze. “But you know we can’t-”

“I know…” Geoff sighs. “But I do.” He smiles a little. “Who was the other one in the room?”

“Alfredo. He’s a good friend of Michael and Gavin. Trevor’s his partner.”

“If you’ll allow it, I’d like to talk to them alone. I need to know what Trevor really knows about Jeremy.”

“By all means.” Jack nods as he stands. “It’s getting late. You can stay the night if you want.”

“Thank you, but no. I have to get back to Ryan. He shouldn’t be alone too long. I’ll come and collect Michael and Gavin tomorrow.” Geoff follows Jack to the door and waits when he pauses.

“Please be careful with Gavin.” Jack whispers. “He’s very precious to me.”

“Of course.” Geoff reaches out to touch Jack’s cheek, but hesitates when he leans forward- then touches their foreheads together gently with a sigh. “Good night Jack.” He whispers before leaving the room and heading back down the hall to the first room he’d been let into.

“Geoff!” Michael’s on his feet in an instant when he opens the door and he smiles a little as he shuts and locks it behind him. “What’s going on?”

“It’s a very long story  _ Kjæreste _ …” He murmurs, leaning down to kiss Michael’s cheek carefully. “Trevor. Where did you meet Jeremy?”

“He’s lived in my town for a little while now. Out in West Plains. Where is he now?”

“I don’t know. And please- don’t go looking for him. That man is dangerous. And he used you  _ liten stjerne _ . Has he told you anything about his past?”

“Not much.” Trevor rubs at his arm and Geoff freezes when he sees bandages there.

“What happened there?” He asks, perhaps a bit more sharply than he means to, and Trevor looks up at him, fear clear in his dark eyes.

“I think you already know…” He murmurs, looking down.

“Trevor?” Alfredo puts a hand on his shoulder and Geoff tries to ignore the way his heart twists in his chest when the young man’s voice shakes. “What happened?”

“Jeremy. He- he said he needed my help.” Trevor’s voice comes out small and Geoff shivers. He sounds so much like Ryan did in the beginning of his affair with the blood mage. Afraid but reverent. “He lied to me?”

“He’s lied to a lot of people.” Geoff reaches out to give him a sympathetic pat on the cheek. “How many times has he done it?”

“Only once. Before we came here.”

“Good. You should be just fine. Just stay away from him from now on, alright?”

“O-Okay.”

“Michael? A moment?” He puts a hand on Michael’s elbow and leads him to the other side of the room gently, lowering his voice. “I’ll be back tomorrow. Get some things packed. You and Gavin will be staying with Ryan and I for a little while.”

“What? Why?”

“I don’t have much time to explain. I promise I’ll tell you more tomorrow, but it’s for your protection. Please  _ Kjæreste, _ you have to trust me.” He whispers.

“I trust you.” Michael starts to lean in, but stops short and Geoff chuckles when he sees his cheeks turn pink.

“Thank you.” He smiles, kissing his cheek gently. “Just keep an eye on Gavvy tonight, and I’ll be back in the morning. Take care darling.”

“Take care Geoff. Please be careful…” He holds tight to Michael’s hand when his voice cracks.

“I will be.” Geoff waves Gavin over. The younger Witch gives him a curious look, but stands and joins them. “Get some things together. I’ll be back to get you in the morning.”

“Geoff?”

“Don’t worry. Everything’s going to be alright.” He has to fight to keep his voice from shaking. He hopes he isn’t lying… 


	18. Chapter 17

Gavin paces uneasily in his room when Geoff leaves after a few hushed words with Trevor and Alfredo. Trevor barely looks up from the floor as he and Alfredo head out of the room- leaving him alone with Michael again. He can’t stop his heart from racing- can’t stop himself from picking at his nails or chewing his lip until Michael puts his hands on his shoulders to still him.

“Gavin.” He looks up sharply. “Have you heard a word I’ve said?” Michael doesn’t look angry, just worried and Gavin sighs.

“No. Sorry… What were you saying?”

“I was asking what the hell happened out there.”

“I don’t know… The last thing I remember is getting out of the bath with you.” He whispers. “Then Geoff was waking me up in the woods.” He rubs his arm nervously, his marks tingling.

“You don’t remember meeting Jeremy?”

“No… I remember you mentioning that Trevor was here and that you thought there was something wrong with him…” Gavin sits on the edge of his bed and rests his head in his hand, rubbing his eyes. “I’m tired Michael…”

“I know… So am I.” Michael tips his chin up a little and smiles. “We’re going to be okay. Geoff and Ryan are going to take care of us.” He murmurs. “ _ I’m _ going to take care of you.”

“And I’ll take care of you.” He promises, smiling and leaning up for a kiss. “I love you Michael.”

“I love you too.” Gavin hears Michael’s breath hitch and sees the tears building in his eyes and frowns.

“Michael?”

“I was so scared…” Michael chokes. “Gavvy I was so scared when you went out to the garden to talk to him. I knew- I knew there was something wrong with him. I knew I shouldn’t have let you go alone.” Gavin fights to hold back his own tears when Michael wraps his arms tight around him and sobs against his shoulder. “I should have gone with you-”

“Michael- Michael, love, look at me.” Gavin pulls back just enough to hold Michael’s face in his hands. “It’s alright. I’m not hurt. I got home safe. It’s not your fault.” He whispers, giving him a soft kiss. “It’s not your fault.”

“I still-”

“Shh.” When Michael starts to protest, Gavin just kisses him again- deeper now, trying his best to chase away not only his own fear, but Michael’s as well. “We’re going to be fine.” He whispers against his lips.

They don’t pack right away, Gavin doesn’t have the energy for it. Instead he watches the sun go down from his window and tries his best to remember anything that happened- but all he’s met with is a darkness that makes his marks burn and he just rubs his arm absentmindedly until he hears the door open and feels Michael sit up next to him.

“Gavin?” Jack’s voice shakes him back to the present and he turns. “Are you packed?”

“Not yet.” He sighs, turning back to the window. “What did you and Geoffrey talk about?”

“I- I’ll let him tell you tomorrow. He’ll be able to explain better than me.” Jack comes to sit next to him and puts a large, warm hand on his knee. “I’ll find a way to keep in touch while you’re gone. And I’ll keep the counsel busy. I’m sure I can find some excuse as to why you and Michael are gone.”

“You don’t think it’ll be long, do you Jack?” He looks up and his heart twists in his chest when he sees the pain in his eyes. “Jack?”

“I don’t know darling…” He gives Gavin’s knee a squeeze. “I hope it won’t be long. But it’ll all depend on what Geoff and Ryan say.”

“I…” Gavin pauses and takes a deep breath as Michael sits up more and wraps an arm around his shoulders. “I’m scared…” He finally manages to force out.

“I know.” Jack murmurs, his arm circling around on his other side. “I am too. But you’re strong. Both of you are. And you’ll be fine.” Here, between the two people he loves most, Gavin knows he should feel strong. He knows that he should feel  _ safe _ . But there’s a chill in the air that not even the fire crackling in the hearth or the warmth of Jack and Michael beside him can chase away.

Gavin doesn’t sleep. Not well. Michael sleeps with him in his bed, and Jack stays with them in the other bed. Gavin sits up as long as his eyes will stay open- just watching the shapes of the shadows that the fire makes on the walls. Somewhere in the back of his head, a voice whispers to him- a voice that’s slow, and deep, and familiar. But it doesn’t bring him any comfort. He can’t place where he knows it from.

“ _ Oh Gavin- I’ve missed you so much. I’ve been looking everywhere for you my love. Please don’t hide from me. _ ” He does his best to ignore the sweet words, just rolling over and hiding his face in Michael’s chest. He doesn’t want to hear whatever this man has to say to him. As far as he’s concerned- this voice isn’t real. But Michael  _ is _ . He’s right here next to him, warm and solid and holding him close. 

“Gav?” Michael murmurs, squeezing him a little tighter. “Why are you still awake?”

“‘M not.” Gavin mumbles back. “Just getting comfortable.”

“Okay.” Michael just yawns and buries his nose in his hair, giving him a little kiss on the top of the head before he falls asleep again.

Gavin waits a little while after Michael falls asleep to get up. He can hear Jack snoring quietly in the next bed and knows he sleeps deep, so he’s not worried about waking him up when he wraps a cloak over his shoulders and slips out into the hallway. He’s tempted, at first, to go sit on the front steps like he normally would, but knowing that there’s someone out there that may want to hurt him stops him in his tracks and he turns towards the kitchen instead, hoping that maybe a cup of tea will be able to calm him down.

“Gavin?” He whips around and stops short when he sees Trevor standing there.

“T-Trevor.” He laughs breathlessly, putting a hand to his heart. “You scared me. What are you doing up?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” Trevor smiles a little, taking a few steps closer before he stops. “You really don’t remember?” He frowns, his light- a soft silver- shining in his eyes.

“Not a thing.” He smiles sadly. “I’m sorry he hurt you.” He glances down at Trevor’s arm. “A- A friend of mine went through the same thing with him years ago. He says he’s never been the same.”

“I’m sorry I brought him to you. He said- well he said a lot about you.” Trevor follows when Gavin motions for him to. “If I would have known he wanted to hurt you I never would have brought him here.” His voice shakes a little as Gavin rummages through the kitchen as quietly as he can.

“It isn’t your fault.” Gavin manages a small smile. “You had no way of knowing. From what I hear, he’s a good liar. So.” He hops up to sit on a counter opposite Trevor and folds his hands in his lap after he sets a kettle on the stove. “What did he say about me.”

“Well.” Trevor pauses and looks him over. “He said you were pretty. He was right about that.” He laughs a little. “He told me you two grew up together and that he- He said that he loved you.” Gavin’s breath catches in his chest and he looks down at his hands.

“Did he say…” He pauses and swallows nervously. “Did he say where we grew up?”

“You don’t know that?”

“No. Everything before I came to the temple is gone. I’ve never known. Please I- You don’t have to tell me everything he told you. I don’t want you to, actually… But I need to know where I’m from.”

“The Eastern Kingdom.” Gavin’s blood runs cold at Trevor’s words. After what Ryan and Geoff had told him- he’s afraid of what that might mean.

“Well… Now I know.” He breathes, nodding slowly.

“Will you go back?”

“I- I don’t know. Maybe someday. But this is my home now.” He smiles.

“I know how that feels. I’m originally from the Southlands. Kind of. I grew up in a border town. But my family moved to the West Plains to escape.  _ That’s _ home for me. I don’t think I could ever set foot over that border again.” Trevor looks around the kitchen and Gavin sees his shoulders relax for the first time when he sighs and smiles. “You could go there, you know. West Plains. Even if it was just for a visit. They’d love you in my city.”

“You think so?”

“I know so. We’re treated better there. The counsel actually has Witches on it. Just something to think about.”

“Maybe I will come for a visit. Alfredo said you two were planning a trip there soon.”

“Yeah.” Trevor’s eyes light up when he smiles and Gavin feels the weight of uncertainty lift off his chest.

“You two seem really happy.”

“We are. And I really love him.” Trevor’s smile fades a little and he looks down into the cup of tea Gavin hands him. “I just… I don’t want to take him away from his temple. I know how important his faith is to him, but I can’t live in this city… Not with the way things are here.”

“I’m sure you’ll figure something out love.” Gavin smiles, putting a hand over Trevor’s.

Gavin’s glad for the company as Trevor walks him back to his room, but he can’t shake the chill that crawls through the halls and he watches the shadows carefully- going to his old fallback of counting the lit sconces along the wall to keep himself present and aware. But he doesn’t notice he’s gone beyond his own bedroom until Trevor puts a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

“Gavin? Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. Why?”

“I thought your room was back there.” Trevor points over his shoulder and Gavin looks around, shivering when he realizes he’s back in the east wing- the same place he had gone after he’d met Ryan for the first time.

“Just lost track I suppose.” He laughs off the incident and turns around, back towards his room with Trevor still following slowly.

“Be careful Gavin.” He whispers, grabbing Gavin’s wrist before he can open the door. “Something isn’t right… I can feel it.” Gavin opens his mouth to say something but Trevor just turns and heads for Alfredo’s room a little further down the hall, so he just keeps it to himself and pushes open his own door, slipping inside as quietly as he can manage and getting back into bed with Michael.

“Shh. It’s alright love. Just got up for the bathroom.” He whispers, kissing Michael’s cheek when he stirs a little. “Go back to sleep.”

It’s Jack who wakes Gavin up the next morning. He tries to hide how tired he still is, hoping that neither Jack or Michael noticed that he had left the room. But he can’t explain away the dark circles around his eyes. Luckily, Jack just gives him a sympathetic pat on the back and a little smile.

“It’ll be alright.” He whispers. “Geoff will be here soon. Are you hungry?”

“No… Not really.” Gavin barely looks up as he gets dressed in plain clothes, keeping his voice down so he won’t wake Michael yet.

“You didn’t sleep well, did you?”

“Not at all.” He sighs. “How could I?” He looks up at Jack and tries his best not to cry. “Jack- why is this happening to me…?” He chokes. Jack doesn’t answer him- just wraps his arms around him and pulls him into a tight hug that he falls into with a quiet sob.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”

“Jack? Gavvy?” Michael’s hand touches his back and Gavin nearly collapses- heavy sobs wracking him to his bones. “It’s going to be alright.” Michael joins in the hug and kisses his shoulder gently. “We’ll be back here before you know it.” Gavin can’t find any words. He just cries against Jack’s chest until there’s a soft knock on the door. Jack turns him gently into Michael’s arms before going to answer it.

“Jack. There’s someone here to see you. A Mr. Ramsey?” Lindsay’s voice, soft and nervous, comes in from the other side of the door.

“Let him in.” Jack sighs.

“Gavin? Michael? Are you ready?”

“Ready for what?” Now Gavin looks up to see Lindsay standing with Geoff just inside the door.

“Lindsay, I’ll need you to help cover for us again.”

“What? Why?”

“We’re going away for a little while.” Gavin explains carefully. “It’s…” He sighs and looks up to Geoff for guidance.

“It won’t be long.” Geoff smiles softly. “Just a precaution. There’s someone in the city who means Gavin harm. He’ll be safer with me and Ryan for the time being.”

“Ryan? The man we helped the other day?” Lindsay looks between them and Gavin nods. “Gods… Gavin what’s going on?” She doesn’t sound angry- just concerned and Gavin’s thankful for that.

“Can you help us?” Geoff asks. Lindsay pauses before nodding and Gavin sees Geoff’s shoulders relax. He can’t imagine the terror Geoff’s feeling now- not only being in a temple, but being escorted in by the king’s guard.

“I’ll do my best. I can even escort you out of the city. People won’t ask questions if you’re with me.” Lindsay actually looks…  _ excited _ at the prospect of smuggling them out of the city.

“Lindsay- if the other guards catch you-”

“Fuck the other guards.” She snaps. “You matter more to me than they do.” Gavin’s heart twists in his chest and he stands to hug her tight.

“Thank you.” He whispers.

“Come on then. Get your bags. I want to get out before the sun comes up.” Geoff looks over his shoulder nervously.

“I’ll go to the gates with you.” Jack’s voice cracks a little and Gavin reaches out to take his hand, not missing the way Geoff moves in a little closer as well, his hand twitching at his side and a little bit of his light shining at his fingertips.

Gavin thanks the gods for the cover of early dawn as his party walks through the commons. The bakers and the farmers on the edge of the city are the only people awake at this hour and none pay them any mind. He hasn’t come this close to the gates of the city since he took his vows and the sight of them now makes him shiver- iron spikes that reach high into the sky and twist together at the top to form an intricate flower pattern. There’s something foreboding about them. He’s always thought so. For so long the gates seemed to him to be a way to keep people out. But now they feel more like a way to keep people  _ in _ . Imprisoned in their own city and blind to the world beyond them. He’s met more than a few people who’ve said they’ve never been out of the city but he’s never really thought about the ramifications of that until this moment.

“Finally kicking the Witch and his sympathisers out of the city?” The man at the gate- Gavin doesn’t know his name and doesn’t care to- sneers at the whole lot of them as they approach and he feels Geoff’s grip on his shoulder go tighter.

“Gavin and Michael are going to a settlement in West Plains for work. This is their guide.” Lindsay gestures at Geoff and the other guard looks him over skeptically.

“You’re not going, Jack?” He asks.

“Not this time. I’m needed at the temple.”

“Just open the damn gate.” Lindsay snaps but the other guard doesn’t take his eyes off of Geoff.

“Where do I know you from?”

“I’ve been in and out of town for a couple years now.” He answers calmly.

“Is that so? How have I never seen you come through the gate?”

“Is it my fault if you’re sleeping on the job?” Geoff raises an eyebrow and Gavin hears Michael snicker on his other side.

“Open the gate.” Lindsay orders again, and this time Gavin sees her hand move towards her sword. The other guard notices too. “You know I don’t tolerate people speaking ill of Gavin.”

“Yes ma’am.” He mutters, finally following her orders and letting the gate swing open. Lindsay, Jack and Michael go through first, Gavin following closely with Geoff- but he’s stopped by a hand on his wrist. “Don’t come back if you know what’s good for you  _ Witch _ .”

“Get your hands off of him.” Geoff’s voice goes low and dangerous before Gavin yanks his arm out of the guard’s grasp.

“You should count your blessings, love.” He coos. “Were I not a man of the temple I would have snapped your wrist for putting your hands on me.” He lets a little bit of his light shine in his eyes and the guard stumbles back a step. “I’ll be back whenever I damn well please, and if you have a problem with that you can take it up with Lindsay.” He smiles before joining the others, Geoff’s barely stifled laughter making his heart feel lighter than it has in days.

“Alright.” Lindsay surveys the area before sighing. “I don’t know where you’re headed, but if you take this road up to the fork you’ll be out of sight of the towers so you’ll be able to get into the woods without being seen.”

“Thank you.” Geoff smiles, putting a hand on her shoulder. “I know this can’t be easy for you but I appreciate the help.”

“Just bring them home safe.” She mutters, looking down at her feet. “They’re my best friends…”

“I swear on my life.” Gavin’s almost surprised when Geoff gives Lindsay a quick, tight hug.

“Gavin, Michael. A word?” Jack motions for them to join him a little ways away and they follow easily. “Please be careful out there. Watch out for each other.” He whispers, putting a hand on each of their shoulders. “I love you both dearly. Come home to me.”

“We will Jack.” Michael assures him.

“Thank you for all your help.” Gavin adds. “I’m sure Geoff will have a way to get a message to you when we’re safe.” Jack just nods and pulls the both of them into a hug. Gavin buries his face in his shoulder, breathing in deep- hoping that the scents of the temple will be embedded in his nose until he comes home. “I love you Jack… I’m sorry I dragged you into this mess…” He chokes on a sob when Geoff puts a hand on his shoulder to draw him away.

“It’s alright.” Jack sniffles and smiles around tears, leaning down to kiss him, then Michael, on the cheek. “I’ll see you soon. Don’t worry.”

“Thank you Jack.” There’s no mistaking the love in Geoff’s voice- or the pain.

“Just keep them safe.” Jack reaches out to pat Geoff on the cheek and Gavin sees the both of them smile.

“Of course  _ Kjæreste _ .”


	19. Chapter 18

Gavin trails behind Michael and Geoff as they walk through the woods, just listening to Geoff telling stories and showing off little bits of magic while Michael watches, enraptured. He can’t shake the feeling of being watched here in the dark and he looks around nervously everytime he hears a branch snap.

“Don’t worry.” Geoff’s hand on his shoulder makes him jump and he feels his magic burning just under his skin. “You’re safe with me. The woods are empty for now.”

“I guess I’m just… I’m nervous, is all.”

“I know you are  _ Kjæreste _ . I am too.” Geoff gives him a sympathetic little smile and a pat on the cheek. “Do either of you need to rest? We have time.”

“I could use a minute.” Michael sits heavily on a fallen log with a sigh. “So Geoff. You were kind of vague last night. Who exactly is Jeremy?”

“He’s a dangerous man. And a powerful Witch.” Geoff sighs, sitting next to him. Gavin keeps pacing. He can’t make himself sit still.

“What does that have to do with Gavvy?” Now Gavin stops and watches Geoff.

“Do you want to hear this now, or do you want to wait until we get back to the house?” Geoff asks carefully. “It’s a lot.” He warns.

“I want to know. I- I need to know.”

“Sit.” Geoff stands and puts a hand on his shoulder, easing him down to sit next to Michael. “You and Jeremy grew up together in a village in the Eastern Kingdom.” He starts slowly. “You remember what Ryan and I told you about that region?” Gavin doesn’t say anything, just nods and Geoff pauses. “You- you got sick. That’s when Jeremy started dabbling in blood magic.” Geoff’s voice cracks a little and Gavin’s breath catches in his chest. “He thought he could help you. I suppose he did. He managed to keep you alive… But he’s the reason you can’t remember.”

“He did this to me?” Gavin breathes, his hands shaking where they’re folded in his lap. “He’s the reason I can’t remember my mother?” Something more than just anger simmers under his skin. It’s rage. It’s  _ fury _ . “He’s the reason I can’t remember my friends? Or any of my family?”

“Gav-” Michael reaches for him when he stands but he brushes his hand away.

“Why? Why was he so willing to risk me losing everything? What point was he trying to make?”

“Gavin-” Geoff tries to take him by the shoulders but he doesn’t stop moving.

“Does he have some kind of hero complex!?”

“He loved you.” The words are like a punch to the gut and Gavin freezes. “He didn’t know that what he was doing could hurt you like this. He said he was trying to figure out how to fix it but you left before he could.”

“He what- were we-”

“Yes.”

“Where is he?”

“I don’t know. He left before I could wake you up.”

“Why didn’t you go after him?” He snaps, and Geoff takes half a step back. “He was  _ there! _ You could have stopped him!”

“I wasn’t going to leave you there unconscious and helpless!” Geoff raises his voice and Gavin sees his light flicker in his eyes, but he doesn’t move any closer- doesn’t try to put his hands on him. “I didn’t know if he was alone, or if he had anyone with him. I couldn’t take that chance.”

“What about Ryan?”

“He was there with me.”

“And he didn’t do anything?”

“Gavin- you know he’s hurt. He tore his stitches just trying to protect you.” Now Geoff does reach out for him and Gavin freezes. The anger in him fizzles out to exhaustion and he sits back down with his face in his hands- mortified that he hadn’t taken Ryan’s injuries into account when he  _ knew _ how bad they were.

“Can you find him?” Michael asks quietly.

“With some time, probably. If he stays in the area.” Geoff answers.

“Find him. And when you find him you bring him to me. Understand?” Gavin looks up to see pure, unfiltered  _ hatred _ in Michael’s eyes. “I’ll kill him with my own hands if I have to.”

“Michael-”

“I swear to the gods Gavin. I will kill him.”

“Not until I get the answers I want.” Gavin mutters. “If he can tell me about my family I want to hear it. I need to know.”

“He’ll try to lie to you.” Geoff warns. “He’ll use every trick he can to make you comfortable with him. Just remember to take what he says with a grain of salt.”

“I know.” Gavin swallows nervously. “But if he wants me, he’ll have to tell me the truth.”

“Don’t do anything rash  _ Kjæreste. _ ” Geoff frowns. “This isn’t something you can do on your own.” Gavin glares up at him and he sighs, kneeling down to cup his cheek gently. “That’s not what I meant. I have no doubt that you can hold your own against the people in the city but Jeremy… Jeremy’s different… He’s strong. And not just with his magic. I couldn’t live with myself if you got hurt. Ryan would kill me if something happened to you, you know that right?”

“Sooner or later you’re going to have to let me face him on my own.” Gavin does his best to keep his voice from shaking, but he can’t and Geoff pulls him into a gentle hug.

“I know…”

Gavin breathes a sigh of relief when he sees Ryan waiting on the porch for them, but that relief disappears when he sees the state of him. The dark circles under his eyes seem even deeper now, and he sways when he stands to greet them.

“What took you so long?” He breathes, pulling Geoff into a hug as soon as he’s able.

“We had to take the long way out. Lindsay helped us.” Geoff gives him a quick kiss on the cheek before leading everybody inside. “I thought I told you not to worry about breakfast.”

“I didn’t have to move much.” Ryan chuckles, leaning against Gavin’s shoulder.

“You shouldn’t be out of bed.” Gavin scolds gently, easing him down into a chair. “You look exhausted…”

“I am. But I needed to make sure you and Michael got here safely.”

“They’re with me. Of course they’re safe.” Geoff scoffs from the other side of the room.

“Can’t be too careful.” Ryan mutters, holding Gavin’s hand when he sits down next to him. Gavin squeezes his hand gently.

“Ryan… Why didn’t you tell me it was Jeremy who hurt you?” He asks softly.

“I didn’t want to scare you darling… I thought I would be protecting you. I never would have let you leave if I knew he was after you.” Ryan’s voice cracks and he coughs, wincing and covering his side with his free hand.

“I want to take another look at that when we’re done eating.” Geoff frowns and puts a hand on Ryan’s forehead. “You’re warm.”

“I’m fine.” Ryan insists, waving him away. “It just hurts like a bitch is all.”

“I don’t care if you think you’re fine. I’m not taking any chances.”

“Geoff.” Ryan’s magic sparks a little and Gavin draws his hand back quickly. “I’m fine.” He stands slowly and makes his way back to his bedroom, still holding his side. When Gavin goes to follow him, Geoff puts a hand on his shoulder and shakes his head before following him himself.

“What was that?” Michael whispers when Ryan’s bedroom door slams.

“I don’t know…” Gavin stares at the door for a moment then sighs and looks down at his hands.

“Are you okay?” One of Michael’s hands touches his shoulder but he shrugs it away nervously. “Gavin-”

“I don’t want to hurt you…”

“You’re not going to-”

“Michael. I can feel it… Like a few days ago on the steps. I- You shouldn’t touch me until I get a handle on this…”

“I’m not afraid of you Gavin.” Michael puts his hand on his shoulder again, more firmly now and the pressure grounds him. “I’ll never be afraid of you.”

“Maybe you should be.” It’s Ryan who comes out of the bedroom first, with Geoff just behind him scowling. The words hit Gavin straight in the heart and he sits up straighter. “Witches are dangerous Michael. All of us.”

“Ryan.” Geoff snaps.

“He deserves to know what we’re up against. What each of us is capable of. You showed Gavin what I did. But what about him?” Ryan nods at Michael and Gavin shivers. “Did you tell him  _ why _ Jeremy was after Gavin?”

“As much as I know. But-”

“But what Geoff? You were all too willing to show Gavin what happened to us. Why not show Michael too?”

“Ryan!” Gavin flinches when Geoff shouts. “That’s enough. I told Michael what happened to us. I told them both what happened yesterday.”

“What do you mean you told them both?”

“I don’t remember yesterday Ryan.” Gavin whispers. “If you asked me right now what Jeremy looked like I wouldn’t be able to tell you. I couldn’t tell you how I ended up out here in the woods with him. All I remember is Geoff waking me up.”

“What the hell-”

“I don’t know what Jeremy’s done to him but I’m going to figure it out.” Geoff mutters as he moves food from the kitchen to the table. “Eat. All three of you.”

“You need to eat too.” Michael looks up at Geoff, clearly concerned, and Geoff smiles back down at him.

“I’m going to. Gavin, I’ll be downstairs. Come see me when you’re done eating. Michael, make sure Ryan gets back in bed.” Ryan snorts and rolls his eyes at that. “Keep each other entertained.” Geoff leaves without another word and Gavin watches him go with his heart caught in his throat.

“What was that?” Michael asks.

“He gets like this when he’s working.” Ryan sighs. “He’s fine. Just focused. I- I’m sorry I snapped like that.” He rubs a hand down his face. “I just… I never expected to see Jeremy again. And I never could have imagined that you were the one he was looking for all those years ago…”

“You never mentioned that he was looking for somebody.”

“I didn’t think it was relevant. He didn’t talk about it much. Just mentioned that someone he knew had gone missing and that he was looking for them. He never used your name. Never told us what you looked like. If he had I would have asked if you knew him when I first met you.”

“What did he say yesterday? What did  _ I _ say?” Gavin can barely look at his food, let alone eat with the nervousness that sits in his stomach.

“How much did Geoff tell you?” Ryan asks carefully.

“Geoff already told me that Jeremy and I grew up together in the Eastern Kingdom- that we were together… He- he told me that I got sick and that Jeremy tried to help me…”

“That’s essentially what I heard yesterday. But he also told me-” Ryan swallows and looks down at the table. “He used me. When we met, he was still trying to figure out where he went wrong with you- how to fix you… He used me to figure out how to fix you. Who knows how many others he lied to.”

“I see…” Gavin forces down a few more bites- knowing that the others will fuss over him if he doesn’t- before pushing his plate away and standing. “I- I’d better go see what he wants…”

“We’ll be here when you’re done.” Michael smiles up at him, and Ryan takes his hand to kiss his knuckles gently.

“Get some rest Ryan.” He smiles, leaning down to kiss Ryan’s forehead, then Michael’s. “Keep an eye on him.” He laughs a little.

“Oh I will.” Michael assures him.

“It’s the very last door in the hall.” Ryan advises. “It’ll take you downstairs. That’s where Geoff does his work.” Gavin nods and makes his way down the hall slowly, his knees shaking. He takes a deep breath and swallows nervously as he opens the door.


	20. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Digging into Gavin's past a little more with Geoff's help.

“Geoff?”

“Come on down!” Geoff’s voice comes up from the bottom of the stairs and Gavin pauses again. He doesn’t know what’s waiting for him down there, and that scares him. But he steels himself and takes the first few steps down, turning to shut the door behind him. It’s not as dark as he expected- and the soft candle light makes him feel a little better.

“Lovely little spot you’ve got here Geoffrey.” He hums. Geoff looks up from the books he’s got spread out on a table and smiles.

“I do all my best work down here.” He sighs, looking around the space fondly. “I think I can help you. It won’t be easy, and it may be painful. But I’ll be here to guide you through it. If it’s too much we can stop.”

“What do we need to do?” Gavin takes the seat he’s offered and folds his hands in his lap nervously while Geoff leans against the table with his arms crossed over his chest.

“You’d have to let me into your head. Fully. Not just the little look arounds I’ve done before. I need to get in there to see all of what happened.”

“I trust you.” He whispers.

“Are you sure?” Geoff uncrosses his arms and reaches for his hands, holding them gently. “It’s going to be a lot.”

“I need to know Geoff… I need to know what happened- I need to know who I am.”

“You decide who you are. Not your past. Understand? No matter what, we love you for who you  _ are _ . Not who you were.”

“I understand.”

“Alright. Remember- tell me if it’s too much and I’ll stop.” Geoff cups his face in his hands with a small smile and leans in to kiss his forehead. “I’m so sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

It’s slow at first- comforting even- Geoff’s magic pressing at the edges of his consciousness. He keeps his eyes closed and tries to keep his breathing even. It’s more difficult than he’d like to admit especially when Geoff presses deeper. He gasps when he feels a stabbing pain behind his eyes and he feels Geoff retreating.

“Don’t- It’s alright.” The next push is more gentle but when Geoff makes a little noise of surprise, Gavin opens his eyes to see the brilliant blue of Geoff’s light shining bright in his eyes and through his tattoos. “What is it?”

“It’s just- there’s so much… This is going to take a while.”

“Well it seems like we’ve got plenty of time.”

“Do you want to see all of it, or no?”

“All of it.” Gavin nods.

“It’s going to go by quick now. But it’ll come back to you more and more over time. I don’t know if all of it will be clear.” Geoff warns. “There are going to be some things I can’t get to, but that’s normal.”

“That’s okay.” He doesn’t try to fight it when Geoff goes back to work, but he knows he’s shaking. Geoff hums a quiet little tune- the same one he’s heard Ryan hum a few times- and pulls up another chair to sit in front of him, holding his hands gently.

At first there’s only vague shapes and colors- nothing that Gavin can really make out- then something that makes him gasp. A beautiful young woman with brilliant green eyes- just like his.

“Geoff?” He chokes. “Is- Is that-?” He takes a shaky breath, trying to compose himself. “Is that her? Is that my mother?”

“That’s her.” He doesn’t open his eyes, but he can hear the smile in Geoff’s voice and he sobs, covering his mouth with his hands. The memories don’t stop flooding back and it’s almost enough to overwhelm him, but he keeps his mouth shut. He doesn’t want to stop. Eventually, Geoff makes a noise and squeezes his hands a little tighter.

“What’s wrong?”

“That’s him.” The image freezes on a young man reaching down to help him up. “That’s Jeremy.” Geoff starts again and everything moves faster until Gavin winces. The memory brings pain back with it- a pain that goes deep into his bones and takes his breath away. “Are you alright?” Geoff asks carefully.

“I’m fine.” Gavin insists even though his chest feels tight and his marks are burning.

“This is when you got sick.” Geoff whispers. “I’ve only heard stories about what The Blight did… I’ve never actually seen it.” Everything slows down until it stops altogether and Gavin opens his eyes when Geoff touches his cheek. “Are you sure you want to see all of this?” He asks again. This time, Gavin hesitates. He can’t quite catch his breath now, and his head is spinning from all the information he’s received.

“I don’t know… But if this is when I got sick then- we’re close to knowing what Jeremy did…”

“We can take a break.” Geoff assures him. “You’re shaking.” He frowns, pushing his hair back off of his forehead.

“I can’t stop now. I need to know what he did to me.”

“Think carefully Gavin. Everything you’re feeling right now from the memories of being sick… You’ll feel what he did to you. Are you sure you’re ready for that?”

“Yes.”

“Gavin…”

“Geoff please.” Gavin’s voice cracks. “It’s been twenty years… I can’t go without knowing anymore.”

“I’m going to get Michael. You shouldn’t be alone for this.”

“What about Ryan?”

“I’m not about to put him through seeing you in pain again.” Geoff sighs, brushing his thumb over a tear that trails down Gavin’s cheek. “And with his injury, I don’t want him straining himself.”

“Alright.”

“Wait here.” Geoff kisses his forehead gently before standing and making his way back upstairs. In the moments he’s alone, Gavin realizes just how badly his hands are shaking. His heart pounds behind his ribs hard enough that he feels like he can hear it echoing in the empty room.

“Gavvy?” Michael’s gentle hands on his shoulders jolt him out of his thoughts.

“Ready?” Geoff asks as he sits down in front of him again.

“I’m ready.” He breathes, reaching up to put a hand over Michael’s and squeezing.

“I’ve got you.” Michael whispers, squeezing his shoulder and kissing the top of his head. “I’m not gonna let go.” Gavin closes his eyes and waits- Geoff seems to hesitate now, his magic just barely pressing at the edge of his mind. Before he can snap at him to get on with it, Gavin gasps and squeezes Michael’s hand harder. The next push is stronger- if he’d been standing it would have sent him to his knees.

“Gods-” Geoff gasps, his grip on his knee going tighter. Then the pain hits. White hot and blinding- starting in his palm when Jeremy makes a hesitant cut then spreading through his whole body and he clenches his teeth around a scream that threatens to tear out of him. It doesn’t take long for that control to break and he just barely hears Michael sob behind him over his own screaming. Geoff starts to let up again but Gavin grabs his hand and squeezes.

“Don’t-” He gasps. “Don’t stop.” He orders through his teeth.

“Gav-” Geoff chokes on his name and Gavin sees fear in the older Witch’s eyes.

“Don’t.” Geoff just nods and digs deeper- but each push of his magic brings a new wave of pain with it.

“ _ What have you done!? _ ” Gavin hears himself screaming- and he can’t really even tell if it’s just in his memories or if he’s  _ actually _ saying the words. Michael’s grip on his shoulders goes tighter as he folds in over himself and screams again. It’s almost too much- he can’t get a breath and he can feel tears rolling down his cheeks.

As suddenly as the pain had hit him, it’s gone and he snaps up with a gasp.

“Gavin?” Geoff reaches up to touch his cheek gently.

“K-Keep going.”

“You need a break.” Geoff whispers.

“No!” He snaps. “I can’t stop now. If this is right before I went missing-”

“Gavin you need to stop!” Geoff cuts him off and grabs his arms. “I know you want answers and I  _ promise _ I’ll help you get them but this could  _ kill _ you. There’s still one more round of him trying this on you- and it’s worse. You can’t take this right now.”

“Do it or I’ll find a way to do it myself.” Gavin orders grabbing Geoff by the front of his shirt.

“Gavvy, you should listen to him.” Michael’s voice trembles and his hands shake on his shoulders but Gavin ignores him.

“Geoffrey.”

“I can’t, in good conscience, put you through more of this right now.” Geoff insists gently, grabbing his wrist and easing his hand back. “I’m doing this for your own good.”

“And I can’t let you stop here.”

“We’re not stopping.” Geoff soothes. “We’re just taking a break. You need time to process what you’ve just seen. That was nearly sixteen years of your life in just a few hours Gavin. No one is meant to go through all of that. And frankly I don’t know if  _ I _ can keep going. This is a drain on me too you know.”

“Gavin, come on.” Michael urges him to his feet and Gavin follows reluctantly. “Just come take a little rest, okay? Have something to eat, lay down with Ryan for a bit. He’s not doing great now. His fever’s back and he was asking for you.” At the mention of Ryan, Gavin’s heart twists in his chest and he looks down at his feet in shame. Geoff puts a gentle hand on his back and he chokes on a little sob.

“I’m sorry…”

“It’s alright  _ Kjæreste _ … I know you’re frustrated. But we need to be smart about this. I don’t want to hurt you.” Geoff kisses the top of his head and pulls him into a tight hug before leading him back up the stairs slowly.

“Gavin? Geoff what the hell happened down there!?” Ryan’s waiting for them at the kitchen table and Geoff shushes him, putting a hand on his shoulder to keep him from getting up. 

“It’s alright Ryan.” Gavin assures him weakly, sitting down heavily at the table and resting his head in his hand. Now that he’s been given a moment the exhaustion catches up with him.

“I could hear you…” Ryan reaches out to take his free hand and squeezes gently. “I would have come down if I could have…”

“It’s alright. I’ll be okay.” He smiles as Ryan’s thumb brushes over his knuckles. “It’s just a lot.”

“I warned you it would be.” Geoff sighs, setting down a cup of tea for him. “What do you think so far?”

“I don’t know what to think yet… There’s so much. Seeing my parents though-” Gavin’s voice cracks and he wipes at his eyes. “I- I want to go back. I want to see them.” His heart sinks when Geoff and Ryan exchange a look. “What?”

“It’s been a long time Gavin…” Geoff whispers. “We can go, eventually, but let me reach out to some of my contacts in the east before we do… I don’t want there to be any… unpleasant surprises.” It takes a moment for Gavin to process what he means, but when it hits him his chest tightens up and he does his best to hold in a little sob.

“It’s okay Gavvy…” Michael wraps an arm around his shoulders and squeezes. “I’ll go with you. No matter what.”

“Thank you love.” He forces a smile, but somehow the thought of  _ anybody _ going with him makes him feel sick to his stomach and he knows it’s something he’ll have to do on his own.

“You should lay down for a little while.” Ryan urges gently.

“You’re one to talk.” Gavin huffs.

“I’ll lay down if you do.” He laughs quietly, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. “Come along darling.” It’s a bit of a hassle, the two of them trying to help each other up, and eventually Geoff and Michael step in to help.

“We’ll try again later.” Geoff assures him, giving him a kiss on the forehead after he’s laid down with Ryan, curled up against his uninjured side. “Try to get some rest, and call for me if you need me.”

“I will Geoff. Thank you.”


	21. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a bit shorter. Stepping aside with Geoff and Michael for a minute.  
> But pay attention.  
> There are a few important bits, a couple little hints.

“Geoff…” Michael starts quietly once he’s alone with the Witch. “Is he really going to be okay?” His voice catches in his throat and he moves further from Ryan’s bedroom door so they won’t be heard. Geoff puts an arm around his shoulder and leads him outside to the thankfully covered porch that provides a little cover from the rain that’s started up again.

“The truth is… I don’t know.” He sighs and Michael’s heart sinks. “I think he will be, but there’s no way to know for sure. After the things he went through… It would be easier to let him forget again.”

“But-”

“I know he wants to know where he’s from. And I would have been more than happy to find that out for him in time if Jeremy hadn’t shown up. He forced my hand with this. I never would have pushed Gavin this far…”

“Do you think his parents are still alive?” Michael asks, moving in a little closer to fight the chill in the air.

“I hope so… I can send a bird to an old friend tonight. Ask a few questions.”

“Do you think Jeremy will come back here?” He doesn’t bother to hide the way his voice shakes. He knows Geoff’s just as frightened as he is.

“He said he would. But if he knows what’s good for him he won’t.” Geoff’s arm tightens around him, gently drawing him up close to his side before he leans down to kiss the top of his head. “I’ll kill him myself if he sets foot on my property.”

“You’ll have to beat me to it.” Michael huffs out a little laugh and elbows Geoff in the side.

“Listen… If he comes… I want you to take Gavin and run.” Geoff murmurs. “Don’t go to the city. Just run. And keep going until you get to the next town.”

“Geoff?”

“Ryan and I will hold him off as long as we can, but I can’t promise-”

“Geoff!” Michael takes a step back and turns to put a hand on Geoff’s cheek. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“I’m just trying to be realistic.” Geoff smiles sadly. “Jeremy won’t stop until he gets Gavin back… I want to protect you both the best I can.”

“Then stay with us.” He begs. “Gavin needs you. Geoff I-  _ I _ need you.” He blushes with the admission and Geoff chuckles.

“But you two need each other more. Trust me.” Geoff tips his chin up gently and presses a soft kiss to his lips. “Ryan and I… We’ll be okay. And we’ll find you. I promise.”

“What do we do if he catches up to us?”

“Trust Gavin. I’ll teach him a little more about how to use his magic to defend himself. As for you.” Michael shivers when Geoff looks him over slowly. “Can you hold a sword?”

“I think I answered that the other night.” He snickers.

“Don’t be vulgar.” Geoff laughs, shoving him playfully.

“Yes I can hold a sword.” Michael answers, still laughing a little. “I didn’t always want to be a priest. Well…  _ Dad _ didn’t want me to be a priest. He wanted me to be a city guard. Taking my vows was one last chance to spit in his face before he died.” He smiles a little, leaning against the wall and watching the rain.

“Wouldn’t have minded getting arrested by you.” Geoff chuckles, leaning next to him and reaching up to run his fingers through his hair. “You’ve done well for yourself. And there aren’t many people in this region that would admit that they were in love with a Witch. You’re a rare kind of person, Michael.” He smiles.

“I wasn’t always like this…” Michael whispers, guilt making his voice tight. “I said…  _ Horrible _ things to Gavin when he first came here… There’s-” He swallows down the sick feeling rising in his stomach before continuing. “There’s a scar on his shoulder… It’s from me… I- I attacked him when he first came here.” When he sniffles, Geoff wraps an arm around his shoulders and pulls him in close again. “It- It’s what my father wanted me to do… I know it’s not an excuse… But that’s how I was raised. I was raised to hate and fear Witches.”

“Lots of people were. People are afraid of things they don’t understand. And fear breeds hate. But you’ve learned. And that’s what matters right now. Gavin’s lucky to have someone like you in his life.”

“I’m the lucky one… Gavin’s saved my ass more times than I can count. I’ve got a temper-”

“I figured after Ryan came back with that split lip.” Geoff chuckles softly.

“He’s pulled me out of so many fights. And all at the expense of his own reputation…”

“Because he loves you.” Geoff hesitates for a moment and sighs. “He told Ryan something the other day… He said that sometimes your love feels conditional. Your’s and Jack’s.” Michael’s shoulders stiffen at that and he looks up.

“What?” He chokes. “W-What does he mean by that?”

“I’m sure it’s not the case, but I understand how he feels. Being with someone who isn’t a Witch- especially in a city like your’s… Sometimes it can feel like your partner is just ignoring the fact that you’re a Witch. He’s worried you two are afraid of him. That you wouldn’t love him if he were to find himself. If he were to find his power.”

“T-That’s… No I- I wouldn’t love him any less. Of course I wouldn’t.”

“But you can understand where he’s coming from, right?”

“I think so… I’ve never really thought about it before…”

“That’s alright. You’ve never had to.” Geoff rubs his arm gently as he holds him. “You should remind him that your love isn’t conditional. That you’ll stick with him no matter what happens. Especially in these next few days. It’s going to be hell for him- getting all of these memories back… He’s going to need you. And we’re going to need to keep a close eye on him.”

“I won’t let him out of my sight if I can help it.” Michael nods.

“Good.” Geoff smiles and leans down to kiss his cheek. “He’ll be alright with Ryan for now. Do you need anything?”

“No. No, I’m fine.” Michael turns and catches Geoff’s lips with his own and smiles into the kiss, leaning against him. “Thank you for helping him. It’s been hard… I’ve woken up to him crying too many times. He’s always had dreams about his past, fantasies I suppose. They were never clear. A woman holding him and singing words he doesn’t understand… That’s always the hardest one for him to deal with…”

“His mother.” Geoff sighs. There’s a deep sort of pain in his voice that makes Michael’s heart twist in his chest. “It breaks my heart… Hearing children call for their mothers. I heard it far too often in the southlands.”

“And what about you? Your family?”

“Still alive and well.” Geoff smiles. “Just got a letter from Ma a few days ago. I wrote to her about you and Gavin.”

“You did?” Michael blushes at that and Geoff laughs a little.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I? Ryan’s like a son to her, and he’s in love. I think I might be too.” Michael’s breath catches in his chest as he looks up at Geoff wide eyed, and he smiles back down at him. “Is that so surprising?”

“You don’t know me-”

“I know you better than you think. I can see, remember?” Geoff kisses his forehead softly. “And after everything Gavin told us about you? It’s easy to see why he fell in love with you. It’s easy to fall in love with you.” Michael leans in easily when Geoff tips his chin up to kiss him again, but pulls back and licks his lips, clearing his throat nervously.

“Geoff I-” He starts quietly, but Geoff cuts him off with another soft kiss.

“I know. It’s okay.” He chuckles. “I have the good fortune of being able to see what I want to know, when I want to know it. You weren’t afforded that luxury.” When Geoff runs a hand down his arm gently, Michael’s skin almost tingles and he shivers a little when Geoff blinks and frowns. “But I assure you, I’m an open book.”

“What are you afraid of?”

“You mean, in general or?”

“Right now. What’s scaring you right now?”

“Honestly… Everything. I’ve done so much to keep myself and Ryan safe. I’ve done all I can to get away from Jeremy and yet… Here he is. I’m afraid of not knowing what happened to Gavin- not knowing what made him snap.”

“I thought it was what Jeremy did?”

“That’s part of it. It triggered something in him. A… defense mechanism of sorts. I need to figure that out or-” Geoff pauses and takes a breath. “Or I’m afraid it might happen again. And someone like Gavin… Gods Michael, you can’t even imagine the kind of destruction he could bring to this city.”

“But- Gavin wouldn’t-”

“No, I know. The Gavin you know wouldn’t. He’s kind, he’s patient. Even with the people who hate him. But whatever that is inside him… He left the only home he’d ever known. We still don’t know what he did between here and there. All that time that’s unaccounted for.”

“How long do you think it was?

“From the village he came from? I’d guess six months at the very least.”

“Gods…” Michael doesn’t flinch away when Geoff takes his hand, but he can’t shake the tingle that creeps up from that point of contact. “Geoff I- What do I do…? How do I help him? I’m not like you.” Geoff frowns and wipes a tear from his cheek gently. “I can’t help him.”

“Of course you can  _ Kjæreste _ … You’re  _ here _ for him. You know him better than Ryan and I. You can keep him grounded. Even without magic.” Geoff’s voice catches on the word ‘ _ magic _ ’, but Michael doesn’t question it.

“What does that mean?”

“Hm?”

“ _ Kjæreste _ .” Michael’s tongue trips over unfamiliar syllables and he feels his cheeks heating up with embarrassment even as Geoff smiles at him fondly.

“It can mean a few different things, but the closest word in common is  _ darling _ .” Geoff’s warm hand on his cheek is enough to chase away some of the chill in the wind, but not enough to make him keen on staying outside much longer.

“One more thing, then I need to get back in front of the fire.” Michael does his best not to shiver too much, but it’s more than an early autumn storm that chills him to the bone.

“Of course.” Geoff nods.

“If Jeremy comes… I’m staying.” Geoff freezes and stares down at him. “I want to give Gavin as much of a chance to get out as I can. And that means sending you or Ryan with him. I won’t be any help to him on the road. I’ve- I’ve never left the city…”

“Michael-”

“Please. I need you to protect him.” Michael chokes on the words, and his shoulders shake with barely contained sobs. “ _ Please _ .”

“I’m not leaving you here on your own. Not with him.” Geoff’s light shines through the tattoos that curl up his arms. “A-And I can’t send Ryan- he- he can barely stand on his own, let alone run-”

“I can’t- I can’t leave. I wouldn’t know where to go. The next village is too close and that’s the only place I’ve ever been to. I can’t get him out of here.” Michael tries his best to keep his voice down- he doesn’t want Gavin or Ryan to overhear them.

“I- We’ll figure something out. I promise…” Geoff pulls him into his arms again and hugs him tight- letting him cry on his shoulder. “I promise…”


	22. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another NSFW chapter because I cannot be stopped apparently.  
> Geoff and Gavin 
> 
> Enjoy! - but be warned there's a little bit of tension at the end and these next couple chapters are going to be tense.

With all his insistence to dig back into his memories later that evening after the four of them have eaten, Gavin’s disappointed when Geoff refuses gently.

“You need more time.” Geoff murmurs, sitting on the arm of the chair Gavin’s curled up in and putting a gentle hand on his shoulder. “And so do I. I’ve never had to do anything this deep.” He chuckles and Gavin huffs, but leans against him nonetheless. “We’ll get the rest tomorrow. I don’t know what we’re going to find in the time after you ran off. There’s… It could have taken you six months or more to get here on foot.”

“Do you have any maps?” Gavin asks, looking up at him hopefully.

“Of course.” Geoff smiles at him and Gavin’s heart does a funny little jump behind his ribs. He looks so tired, but still seems more than willing to offer his knowledge. “Here, follow me.” Gavin follows carefully, quietly, not wanting to disturb Michael and Ryan who’ve fallen asleep leaning against each other. Geoff leads him back down to the cellar and his breath catches a little. While Geoff rummages through some boxes stacked along the wall, muttering to himself, Gavin sits back down in the chair he’d been in just a few hours before. “Here it is.”

Gavin helps Geoff clear off the table so he can unfold the map and watches him curiously as he scans the weathered parchment carefully. The writing in the margins isn’t in common and it’s smudged so badly that even if it were, he’s doubtful he’d be able to read it.

“Alright. So, we’re here.” Geoff taps a circle painted in red, then shuffles the map around again to find something to write with. “If I’m right. The village you came from was…” He pauses and traces his finger along the map, through the eastern kingdom, then stops and circles a small mark. “Here. I think. You never really left the village, so it’s a little hard to tell if there were any major cities nearby. But I think that’s it.” He smiles a little.

“It seems so close…” Gavin whispers, the words catching thick in his throat as he puts one hand over his city and the other over his  _ home _ . “All this time… No one’s ever even  _ tried _ to suss out where I came from. Jack had some theories but that’s all they were. He never followed up with anything. Not that I know of, at least.” A single tear falls on the center of the map, and seeing the smudge it leaves finally breaks the dam that he’d put up- trying to hold himself together not only the last couple of weeks, but the last couple  _ decades _ \- and he finally lets himself cry. Geoff just wraps him up in his arms and holds him tight- not saying anything, not shushing him, just letting him sob himself breathless.

“It’s alright.” He whispers after a while. “I’ll get you there. I promise. But Gavin…” When Geoff pushes him back, just a little, Gavin leans out of his embrace to look him in the eye and he sees pain there. “I need you to understand… It’s been a long time.” He pauses and Gavin’s heart sinks.

“I know… You said so before… Even if-” He swallows down the fear and sorrow that rise up in his throat. “Even if they’re gone… I want to go back. I  _ need _ to go back and see the city that raised me.”

“Like I said, I’ll reach out. I want to make sure there’s actually a city for you to go back to.” Geoff wipes the tears from his cheeks carefully and Gavin smiles a little. “I’ll do everything I can to keep you safe. I promise.” Gavin leans in with his breath caught in his throat to meet him halfway for a kiss that drags all of the tension out of his shoulders and lights an unexpected- yet not wholly unwelcome- spark of arousal in his belly.

“Geoff-” He whispers, uncertain of himself.

“I know.” Geoff laughs quietly against his lips. “It’s alright.” When he’s pulled into a second, deeper kiss Gavin moans softly. Geoff’s hands rest warm and steady on his waist when he stands to kiss him properly and he makes a little noise of surprise as he’s turned around and pressed against the table.

“W-Wait-” He gasps, putting his hands on Geoff’s chest and pulling away. “We- We shouldn’t…” He murmurs as he looks down, embarrassed. But Geoff just tips his chin up gently and kisses him again- chasing off his doubts as he draws him in closer and tangles his fingers in his hair to hold him in place.

“Shhh. Relax  _ Kjæreste _ .” Geoff whispers. “Just relax. Do you trust me?”

“I- I trust you.”

“This may help. And even if it doesn’t, it can’t hurt.” He murmurs as he kisses the side of his throat gently. “Might help take your mind off things for a little while.” Gavin squeaks when Geoff picks him up by the back of his thighs and sits him up on the table in one easy motion. “Shh. Don’t want to wake Michael and Ryan.” Geoff chuckles, kissing him again.

“Michael’s a sound sleeper.” Gavin laughs back, wrapping his arms around Geoff’s neck and leaning into the gentle kisses.

Gavin falls into the slow careful rhythm of Geoff’s kisses easily- there’s no rush. No frantic, desperate fumbling to move things along. Just soft praises whispered breathlessly in the near dark of the cellar, almost inaudible over the sounds of the storm that’s kicking back up. Even when Geoff pulls him closer by his hips and settles fully between his thighs- noticeably hard- there’s no hurry. No pressure or expectation to go any further than this. Even when Gavin rocks his hips up and makes a little noise in the back of his throat, Geoff just holds on to him and shushes him gently.

“You’re so beautiful Gavvy.” Geoff breathes with a strange sort of reverence in his voice as Gavin fumbles with the buttons on his shirt and pushes it back off of his shoulders. “You know we don’t have to do anything else, right? I don’t expect anything from you.”

“I know. I- I’m alright with it if you want to-” Gavin breaks off with a little stammer and feels his face heat up as he bites his lip nervously.

“You sure?” He tips his head and moans softly when Geoff kisses down his throat slowly before biting a mark into his shoulder.

“Positive.” He laughs when Geoff moves back to hook his fingers into the waist of his pants to tug them down to his knees- and he kicks them the rest of the way off. Most of the way at least- they get caught around one ankle, but he doesn’t mind and Geoff doesn’t seem to either. He just pushes his thighs apart again with one hand, pulling his cock out with the other and giving himself a few slow strokes.

“Come here-” Geoff’s light sparks in his eyes and Gavin gasps softly, wrapping his arms around his neck and pulling himself closer. “Lovely boy.” The older Witch chuckles in his ear as he pushes in slowly. “Gods above- You’re so tight.”

“G-Geoff-” When Geoff kisses him, Gavin feels the spark of his magic in his mind again and he moans, rocking his hips forward as best he can. “Please-”

“Shh. I’ve got you. Just relax and let me take care of you.” Geoff murmurs in his ear, planting one hand on the table and gripping his waist with the other as he fucks him slowly.

It’s almost not enough- but the slow, gentle pace still leaves Gavin breathless. Any time he starts to ask for more, any time he starts to ask to have it harder,  _ faster _ \- Geoff just shushes him. It’s frustrating. But Gavin knows that Geoff won’t be able to hold out forever. So he just bides his time- plying him with pretty moans and digging his nails into the back of his shoulders. 

“ _ Fuck- _ Gavvy- I’m close  _ Kjæreste _ .”

“Please- please- Geoff  _ please _ \- I want to come Geoff-” Gavin whimpers, digging his nails in harder and wrapping his leg up around his hip to draw him in closer. Geoff moves his hand from his hip to slide it between them, pressing his thumb against his cock. Even that little bit of gentle pressure is  _ almost _ enough to push him over the edge- but if that doesn’t do it then the next few thrusts, rougher and quicker, are more than enough. Gavin covers his moan by drawing Geoff in for a desperate, open-mouthed kiss that’s more a clash of teeth than anything.

“Gavin-” Geoff pants against his lips, keeping up his desperate thrusts. “I’m-” He breaks off with a gasp as his hips stutter and still, and he buries a moan in Gavin’s shoulder. “ _ Fuck- _ I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to-”

“Shut up.” Gavin drags him into another kiss, rocking his hips up until he comes again and feels Geoff’s cock twitch and throb inside him.

“Gods- You-” Geoff laughs breathlessly, peppering his neck and shoulder with little kisses as he pulls out slowly. “You’re a menace.”

“Is that so?” Gavin teases before Geoff sinks to his knees.

“Insatiable.” He hums, pressing a gentle kiss to the inside of his thigh.

“Who’s the one going down on me?” Gavin breathes, hooking a leg over Geoff’s shoulder and smirking when he looks up into his eyes.

“Can’t leave you wanting now, can I? I’m a gentleman afterall.” Geoff’s breath against his skin is enough to make Gavin shiver with anticipation, and when his tongue drags slow and gentle over his cock he slaps a hand over his mouth to cover a moan- knowing that Michael and Ryan are still asleep just upstairs.

“Can you come again for me  _ Kjæreste _ ?”

“K-Keep that up a-and I’ll come as many times as you want-” Gavin whimpers behind his hand.

“Don’t tell me that.” Geoff chuckles. “I’ll keep you here all night if you let me.” He sighs as he presses two fingers deep into him, fingering him gently and wrapping his lips around his cock again.

“G-Gods-”

“Don’t wake the others.” Geoff warns- it’s teasing but Gavin catches a bit of seriousness there and sees it in his eyes when he looks up at him again.

“I-I won’t.” He whispers back, putting his hand back over his mouth as Geoff goes back to work with his mouth- licking into him with slow easy strokes that break down every wall that he’s tried so hard to keep up the last few hours and leave him a panting, trembling mess on the table. He loses track of the time and how many orgasms Geoff gives him- all of them small enough to keep him right on the edge and wanting more- until he can barely even moan. Just little whimpers that he keeps muffled behind his hand.

“Are you with me?” Geoff chuckles after a while, kissing his inner thighs and lower belly gently.

“Mmhmm.” Gavin hums, barely able to pick his head up.

“Look at me  _ Kjæreste _ .” Gavin opens his eyes when he feels Geoff stand again and lean over him to touch his cheek, and puts a hand over his with a sleepy smile. “There you are.” Geoff smiles and leans in for a soft kiss that Gavin moans into. He can taste himself on Geoff’s lips. “Ready to go back upstairs?”

“You might need to carry me.” Gavin teases quietly.

“Come along darling.” Geoff laughs and sits him up slowly before helping him to his feet and back into his clothes. The walk back up the stairs is more difficult than Gavin would care to admit with his knees shaking so badly. Seeing Michael and Ryan still leaning up against each other, sleeping soundly, brings him a little comfort and he blushes when Geoff winks at him.

Ryan makes a little noise in his sleep- something soft and almost pained that makes Gavin’s heart twist in his chest, but he doesn’t wake up; just moves a little and wraps an arm around Michael, pulling him in closer and pressing his nose into his hair. And that makes him smile. To see two people he cares about so much sleeping so soundly together warms him from the inside.

“Should we wake them?” Geoff whispers in his ear, his hands on his shoulders.

“Michael will complain if he doesn’t sleep in a bed.” Gavin laughs quietly. “And I’m sure with his injury, Ryan will want to lay down properly.”

“You’re probably right. I just hate to disturb them.” Geoff smiles a little but steps up to put a hand on Ryan’s shoulder, kissing his cheek gently. “Ryan? Come on sweetheart. Let’s get you to bed.” Ryan whines a little but cracks one eye open slowly.

“Geoff?” He mumbles. “Where’d you go?”

“Gavvy and I went to look at some maps. We didn’t want to disturb you two.” Ryan looks down at Michael, tucked up against his side and starting to wake up, and smiles.

“That’s sweet of you.”

“Come on. You need to get in bed. You too Michael.” Michael just yawns when Geoff kisses his forehead. “Just need to move a little and you can go back to sleep.” He urges gently.

“Right.” Ryan grunts as he tries to stand, but he skinks back down with a wince.

“Nice and easy.” Geoff helps him this time and Gavin loops an arm around Michael’s waist to keep him steady when he stands.

“You want to stay with Ryan, love?”

“Yeah I’ll keep an eye on him.” Michael leans against his shoulder heavily, and Gavin leads him into Ryan’s room behind him and Geoff.

“Sleep well.” Geoff murmurs after Michael climbs into bed with Ryan and curls up against his side, kissing both of them sweetly before standing aside for Gavin to lean in as well.

“We’ll see you in the morning.”

“Love you both.” Ryan sighs, hugging Michael close again. “You too Michael.” He adds, giving him a little squeeze. Quiet ‘I love you’s’ exchanged, Gavin follows Geoff back out of the room, stopping short when he pauses in the front room.

“Do you want to stay with me tonight?” He asks carefully, a soft sort of hesitance in his voice, his light flickering under the ink that winds up his arms. “Or I can make up the spare bed for you. I-”

“Geoffrey.” Gavin closes the distance between them and leans up for a kiss that shuts Geoff up easily. “Of course I’ll stay with you.”

“Thank you.” Geoff smiles and kisses him again- slow and soft- but Gavin pulls back with a little frown.

“Are you alright?”

“Never been better.”

“ _ Gavin. _ ”

Gavin snaps awake and sits bolt upright in bed clutching his chest when he hears someone whisper in his ear. It’s still dark in Geoff’s bedroom, the storm still raging outside, and there’s no one in the room but the two of them.

“Gavin?” Geoff groans, sitting up slowly next to him. “What’s the matter?”

“I- I thought I heard something.” He whispers in the dark. “T-There was somebody here…”

“There’s nobody here darling. Just us.” Geoff murmurs, wrapping an arm around him and drawing him up to his chest gently. “I promise.”

“Geoff I swear I-” The words catch in Gavin’s throat when the pain hits- deep and burning in the back of his mind- and he screams, folding in on himself and holding his head.

“Gavin!” Geoff’s voice feels far away and when he grabs him by the arms to steady him as he scrambles to his feet, the touch  _ burns _ . “Michael! Ryan!”

“What’s going on!?” Michael’s voice cuts through the fog first but it’s not enough to drag him back to himself. “Gavvy!” His touch sends a new jolt of pain through his bones and it takes his breath away. “O-Oh gods- G-Geoff what’s happening!?”

“I don’t know-” The fear in their voices only makes his panic worse.

“Move.” Ryan’s voice- scratchy with sleep and fear- is what pulls him back and he gasps when the older Witch grabs his chin and forces him to look up. “Get out.” He growls.

“Ryan-” Geoff gasps.

“I’m not talking to him.” Ryan snaps back. “I’m talking to Jeremy.”

‘ _ Tell him I’m not going anywhere _ .’ Somewhere in the back of his mind, Gavin hears the voice he now knows as Jeremy’s- it’s just deeper now, smoother. Almost…  _ comforting _ . And that terrifies him more than anything.

“H-He… He says he’s not going to leave-” He gasps, his throat tight. “R-Ryan- I’m scared-”

“Don’t be scared, my love.”

‘ _ Don’t be scared, my love. _ ’ Ryan and Jeremy’s voices meld together and Gavin brings his hands up to his ears, desperate to shut them both out.

“S-Stop-” He begs. “Please  _ stop _ !” And just like that- everything goes black.


	23. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tiny warning for Jeremy getting a little handsy with Ryan in this chapter and bringing up stuff from their relationship.
> 
> Also- remember how I told you to pay attention during that little side chapter with Geoff and Michael?

“G-Gavvy-?” The fear in Michael’s voice sets Ryan’s heart racing as he holds Gavin up. “Gavin, come on- answer me.” When Gavin opens his eyes, there’s nothing there. No pain. No fear. Just a sleepy haze that makes his stomach lurch. He’s seen it before.

“G-Geoff.” He chokes. “Geoff- help him.” He scrambles back when Gavin’s light flares under his hands, not bothering to hide his fear. “Please-”

“I’m trying.” Geoff’s eyes are closed and his light bazes under his tattoos in a way that brings him a little comfort. “Come on back  _ Kjæreste _ .” Gavin’s eyes clear when Geoff cups his cheek gently and Ryan lets out a shaky sigh of relief.

“Oh my god-” Michael grabs Gavin as soon as he blinks and opens his mouth to speak, and pulls him into a tight hug.

“Michael?” Gavin’s voice comes out thin and sleepy. “Michael, what’s wrong love?”

“Son of a bitch.” Ryan stands quickly, ignoring the pain in his side as he storms for the door.

“Ryan! Get back here!” Geoff calls after him and he hears Michael shushing Gavin carefully and explaining as best he can in a frightened whisper, but he keeps moving, stopping by the door to pull on his boots and a jacket. “What the hell do you think you’re doing!?” Geoff hisses through his teeth as he grabs him by the arm.

“He’s close. I’m going after him.” Ryan yanks his arm out of Geoff’s grasp but reaches up to cup his cheek and draw him in for a kiss. “I’ll be back.”

“Don’t you dare.” Geoff stands between him and the door and Ryan feels his own magic prickle under his skin.

“Geoff. Let me do this.”

“I’m not going to let him kill you.” Geoff chokes, holding tight to his wrist.

“He won’t.” Ryan assures him gently. “If he wants to talk to Gavin, he won’t lay a hand on me.”

“I don’t want to lose you… I can’t lose you to him again…”

“You won’t. I promise.” He kisses Geoff again- slower now. Something sweet with all the love he can muster behind it. “I’ll be back soon.” He whispers, pulling his hood up and stepping out into the storm.

“Jeremy! Jeremy, I know you’re out there! Show yourself!” Ryan tries his best to keep his voice from shaking when he shouts for Jeremy, but between the pain flaring up in his side, the chill from the wind and rain, and the  _ fear _ that grips him- it’s almost impossible. “Come out!”

“I knew you’d come.” Ryan whips around to see Jeremy walking up behind him calmly. “Hi Ryan.”

“Leave him alone.” He demands.

“I can’t do that.” Jeremy shakes his head slowly, and Ryan’s surprised to see pain in his eyes. “I’ve been looking for him for so long… I can’t just leave now.”

“You’re going to kill him!”

“What? No! That’s not what I’m trying to do at all! I just want to bring him home! And I wanted to see you again… Didn’t you miss me Ryan?” Jeremy takes another step closer and Ryan matches it with a step backwards, his heart pounding so hard that he’s sure it can be heard even over the storm.

“Jeremy-”

“You can’t lie to me.” Jeremy reminds him as he comes closer, backing him up against a tree.

“Stop- I-”

“Ryan, please.” Jeremy’s voice falls low and Ryan swallows the longing that sneaks up his throat. “I’m sorry. I truly am.” When one warm hand cups his cheek he fights the desire to lean into the touch.

“You can’t just- You can’t just do this to me Jer.” He chokes. “You can’t do this to  _ us _ . Geoff and I, we- we’re happy. I can’t- I can’t get involved with you like that again.”

“But you can fuck Gavin?”

“That’s different-”

“Just give me a chance. Take me to Gavin. Let me talk to him- I want to help him get his memories back too. That’s all I  _ ever _ wanted.” Ryan slips a little in the mud when Jeremy inches closer. “And you already helped me  _ so much _ Ryan.”

“What do you-” Ryan gasps and freezes when Jeremy’s hand moves from his cheek to the back of his neck- the soft leather of his gloves a stark contrast to the sharp steel that presses up against his throat. “Jer-” Fear grips him and he barely manages to stammer out Jeremy’s name. “What are you doing?”

“I’m not gonna kill you Ryan. Not yet. And not if you just do. As. You’re.  _ Told _ . For  _ once _ .” Jeremy’s knife traces a slow line down his throat and he swallows thickly. “Just bring Gavin to me. You can do that for me, can’t you? Just bring him to me, and I’ll leave you and Geoff alone. Doesn’t that sound nice?” Ryan draws in a shaky breath when Jeremy’s lips brush his and he squeezes his eyes shut.

“I’m not- I’m not letting you hurt him.” He forces out.

“I’m not going to hurt him. I’m going to take him home.”

“Geoff’s going to take him home.”

“Do you really believe that? Do you  _ really _ think that Geoffrey is going to let either of you go? You know how he likes to… collect  _ broken _ things.” The words sting more than the edge of the knife against his skin and Ryan shakes his head.

“No. That’s not true. That’s not what this is.”

“Mmhmm. And what about that pretty little half-breed? Do you think Geoff will let  _ him _ go?”

“Half-breed?” Ryan’s lip curls around the word and it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. “Who-” His heart nearly stops when he realizes. “Oh- oh no.  _ No _ . You leave him alone. Leave  _ all of us _ alone.”

“I’m just trying to  _ help _ !” Jeremy’s voice raises again, and the knife presses a little harder, forcing the breath from Ryan’s lungs. “That’s all I have  _ ever _ tried to do! I tried to help Gavin when he got sick! I went looking for him to  _ fix _ him when he ran off! I tried to help  _ you _ !”

“You tried to  _ kill _ me!” Ryan shouts over the rain. “Jeremy, you  _ ruined _ me!”

“But you loved it, didn’t you?” The anger is gone from Jeremy’s voice, replaced by a tone that Ryan remembers all too well. “Even right now…” He presses the tip of the knife up under his jaw and he tips his head back with a little whine. “You want it don’t you?”

“No-” He chokes on the lie but Jeremy just chuckles.

“You don’t have to lie. Geoff’s not here to judge you. Why don’t we make a little deal, hm? I’ll give you what you want, if you find a way for me to talk to Gavin.” Ryan bites his lip nervously and glances over his shoulder for just a moment before Jeremy guides him back with the knife. “What do you say? Let me get you off the way you  _ really _ want.” When Jeremy’s hand moves down a little lower, Ryan bites back a moan.

“Jer- stop-” He pleads weakly. “I can’t- Not after what you did the other day.” He finally finds the motivation to glare down at his old partner but he just smirks back up at him.

“Oh come on. I gave you worse than this when we were fucking, Ryan. I know you can take it.” He chuckles, moving to press the heel of his hand against the wound in his side and drawing out a strained moan. “You want that don’t you? You want that pain. Remember how you begged me for it? ‘Cause I remember. You know how many nights I’ve spent thinking about you?”

“Stop-”

“All these years, and I’ve never found  _ anyone _ that likes being hurt like you. Oh Ryan…” Jeremy sighs against his throat, the barest hint of a kiss taking away the sting from his knife that still lingers there. “I never stopped thinking about you. The way you begged for me. How you’d moan for me and tighten up when I’d cut you.” There’s a moan in his voice now and Ryan  _ shivers _ . It’s too much. Jeremy’s not  _ wrong _ , per se. He’s thought about him plenty over the years. After all, he  _ did _ love him once- and he can’t deny that he loved, even craved, the way Jeremy would hurt him. He’d said before that Geoff couldn’t hurt him the way he wanted, and he was partly right. Geoff was methodical- precise, and almost too predictable. Jeremy never gave him any hints when he would cut him. He had always been unpredictable. And that unpredictability made him dangerous- makes him dangerous now.

“I can’t. I’m sorry. I-I’ll try to talk to Gavin but this… I can’t do this again.” He whispers carefully.

“Why not?”

“I just can’t.” Ryan finds his will and grabs Jeremy’s wrist when his hand starts moving down again. “I can’t slip like that again. I- I almost died. I almost  _ killed _ because of what you did to me.”

“You  _ did _ kill. I was there. I saw what you did to those guards.”

“That’s different- they had Geoff. They would have killed  _ us _ if I hadn’t. I can’t go back.” Ryan  _ feels _ the moment that Jeremy snaps- his power crackling between them. As much as he hates this- as much as he just wants to run… Ryan knows he can’t. Jeremy loves a chase, and he’d be no match for him if he was caught again. But Jeremy’s power only fuels his own and he makes a snap decision that he knows could cost him.

“What do you think you can do to me? You  _ really _ think you can-” Jeremy breaks off with a choked gasp when Ryan grabs him by the throat. “Oh- Oh  _ Ryan _ .” He grins and Ryan’s heart beats double time when his eyes flash with that familiar red light that sends a shiver down his spine. When Jeremy’s magic flares under his palm- burning him- Ryan just grits his teeth and grips tighter.

“I’m not letting you sink your claws into him like you did me.” He growls, surprising himself with his own strength as he spins Jeremy around and slams him up against the tree.

“Think you can kill me before I kill you?” The knife’s back at his throat before he can think- and this time Jeremy draws blood.

“I’m not going to kill you. I’m not going to stoop that low.” He murmurs. “Oh I could though.” He flexes his fingers a little, digging them into Jeremy’s throat and reveling in the way his flesh gives under the pressure. “You know I could, don’t you Jeremy?” There’s no fear in Jeremy’s eyes- just excitement.

“That’s it. C’mon- I know you want to. Just do it.  _ Protect _ them.” Jeremy taunts, pressing harder with his knife. “If you don’t kill me now, I’ll kill you. Then Geoffrey and his new half-breed plaything. But I won’t touch Gavin. Not yet. No, no. I’ll take him home. Bring him back to his mother. After that I can’t promise anything.”

“You won’t lay a finger on me if you want him.” Ryan taunts, tightening his grip. “If you kill me, Geoff will know. He’ll get Gavin out of here before he  _ destroys _ you.”

“You think so? You think he’s that quick? Answer me this…” Jeremy knicks his cheek with his knife and smiles. “Does he know where you are? Do you really think he’ll know you’re dead before I get to him?”

“He’ll know.” Ryan smiles. He’s always known, somewhere deep down, that Jeremy would be the end of him. He’s been ready for it longer than he’d really care to admit. “Just think Jeremy. I know you’re smart. I’m your best bet at getting Gavin to talk to you, and you know it. If you hurt me, he won’t forgive you.” He sees a muscle in Jeremy’s jaw twitch when he clenches his teeth before he finally pulls the knife away and takes a step to the side.

“Then go. You have three days to bring Gavin to me. And if you don’t…” Jeremy turns the knife between his fingers and smiles. “I’ll start with Geoff’s  _ new _ toy.” Ryan’s heart sinks like a stone into his stomach but he just stares Jeremy down.

“Three days.” He agrees. “There’s a place where the city wall is falling in. We’ll meet there at noon.”

“Just the two of you.”

“No. All of us will be there. Or no deal.”

“Fine. No tricks. I’ll know.” Jeremy taps the tip of his knife against his temple before he turns and stalks back into the dark. Ryan watches until he’s out of sight, then lets out a breath and leans against the tree he’d been pushed up against and tries to swallow down the bile that rises in his throat.

When he thinks of Gavin- the trust he’d seen in his beautiful eyes and the brilliance of his light- Ryan vomits. The strain sends a new bolt of pain up from the wound in his side and he chokes on his breath as he scrambles to move to the other side of the tree when he falls to his knees. It’s not just the physical pain that wracks him and drives him to tears- it’s the thought of betraying Gavin’s trust.

‘ _ Traitor. That’s what you’ve always been right? Traitor to your kin. Traitor to the crown. Traitor to your lover. What’s one more to a man like you? _ ’

“No-” Ryan chokes on a sob. “No, no, no- I’m not- I'm not a traitor-" He gasps to himself. But here, alone in the dark and the rain, there's nobody to pull him back. Nobody to assure him that he's done the right thing. "I'm not a traitor…" He knows he needs to get home- he can feel himself bleeding from the side again and the shallow cuts on his throat and cheek sting now. But he can’t get his legs to work. The fear that comes with the thought of Jeremy following him roots him to the spot. Even if he already knows where the house is, Ryan doesn’t want to be responsible for leading him there. The blind panic takes his breath away.

“Get up.” He growls to himself. “Get up you fucking coward.” Using the tree for support, Ryan pulls himself to his feet, gritting his teeth around the pain and pressing his hand against his side. He takes the long way back, looking over his shoulder every now and then to make sure he isn’t being followed. When he’s confident he’s alone, he finally makes his way back to the home he shares with Geoff.

“Ryan?” He nearly sobs when Geoff calls out to him from the door. “What happened?” The light in Geoff’s eyes pulls him back from the darkness that threatens to swallow him up and he flinches when his hand comes up to touch his cheek.

“He-... I’m sorry… I couldn’t do it.” He whispers.

“It’s alright my love. Just tell me what happened.” Ryan’s already soaked to the bone so he doesn’t mind sitting on the wet front step, and Geoff follows him down slowly.

“He made me an offer that I had to take.” He keeps his voice low- he doesn’t want Michael or Gavin to overhear.

“What kind of offer?” Geoff puts a hand over his knee and squeezes.

“He wants to talk to Gavin… He said-” He takes a deep shuddering breath to steady his nerves. “He said if I could bring him he wouldn’t kill us. He gave us three days.” Geoff doesn’t say anything right away and Ryan’s heart won’t stop racing as he waits.

“What did you tell him?”

“I told him I would talk to Gavin. And to meet me at the broken wall at noon in three days… I’m going whether Gavin wants to see him or not. I told him we would all be there so he couldn’t try anything.”

“Ryan-”

“It was that or he was going to kill me.” Ryan tips his head back to show the thin line left by Jeremy’s knife. “I’m sorry…” He whispers. “I didn’t promise anything other than talking. He says he just wants to take Gavin home. I know- I know I shouldn’t trust him but…”

“It’s alright. I understand. We’ll talk to him in the morning, okay?” Geoff wraps an arm around his shoulders and pulls him in close, but loosens his grip when he winces. “Are you alright?”

“Pulled my stitches.” He mutters. “It’s fine though.”

“I’ll fix them.”

“I know you will.” Ryan smiles a little and Geoff cups his cheek to draw him in for a gentle kiss. “I love you.” He breathes. “I love you so much, Geoff.”

“I love you too, darling.” He smiles back. “Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up.” When Geoff starts to stand, Ryan grabs his wrist to stop him.

“Wait. There’s something else. Something he said about Michael. He-”

“I know…” Geoff smiles sadly. “I know.”

“Are you going to tell him?”

“Not right now. There’s too much going on. I don’t need to drop a bombshell like that on him.”

“But if he knew he might be able to-”

“There’s not enough time to teach him anything.” Geoff shakes his head. “He spent most of his life hating our kind… Even if he’s gotten over that hate. Knowing could really fuck him up. And we need him to have his wits about him right now.”

“Right… But he deserves to know.”

“He does. And I will tell him. I promise. Just not right now.”

“Promise?” Geoff helps him stand and Ryan’s grateful for the support when he stumbles.

“I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick programming note before you go.  
> Over the next couple weeks I'm going to be reposting a few chapters. No big changes really, just a few nagging little things I've noticed over a couple re-reads that I want to fix. Some grammar and spelling that wasn't up to par, and just adding or removing a few things to fix continuity errors. The biggest edit that you won't notice until a few chapters out is in chapter 5. I changed it from Joel to Jon being in prison with Geoff. Only because something else with their past, and some possible events in the future, came up while I was writing and with my own personal feelings about Joel, I didn't want to write him again. But like I said, nothing plot-wise is going to be affected, so no need to re-read and look for little details.
> 
> Thank y'all so much for reading!! Sorry I don't always get around to replying to comments but each and every one makes me so happy.
> 
> Much love,  
> Alex


	24. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little warning for a little taste of Ryan's.......... interests (see also: light masochism)

Gavin does his best to catch his breath when Ryan storms out of the room with Geoff just behind him. Michael pulls him close and his heart breaks when he feels him shake with sobs.

“Michael? What happened?”

“What do you mean ‘ _what happened_ ’?” There’s fear in Michael’s eyes when he looks up again and Gavin freezes.

“What did I forget?” He whispers.

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

“I…” Gavin pauses and closes his eyes, thinking back over the day. “Coming back upstairs with Geoff.” He murmurs. “We were-” He breaks off and feels his face heat up with Michael staring at him. “We… We woke you and Ryan up. You’d fallen asleep together but we wanted to put you in a proper bed. Then he and I came back here and went to sleep. That- That’s all.”

“I’ll have to ask Geoff what happened when he comes back in, but Ryan and I heard you screaming. Then Geoff called for us… You were gone… I don’t know how else to explain it- When you snapped out of whatever it was that had you, you just… weren’t there.”

“Michael I-” Gavin breaks off when Geoff comes back into the room. Alone. “Geoff? Where’s Ryan?”

“He… He went to look for Jeremy.” Geoff sighs, running his hand back through his hair and pacing nervously by the bedroom door. Gavin’s blood runs cold and he tries to stand- but Michael keeps him sitting.

“What happened to me?”

“I’m not sure. I think… I think he got in your head. So he has to be close.”

“He shouldn’t be out there alone.” Gavin pushes Michael’s hands away when he tries to stand again. “I’m going after him.”

“No!” Geoff grabs him by the arm when he tries to pass and he’s surprised by the terror he sees in his eyes. “Absolutely not. Trust me- I don’t want him out there alone either, but I’m not about to let you go out there. And I’m not leaving you two alone.”

“Then let me go.” Michael stands to join them, and for the first time in a long time, Gavin sees the strength he’d seen when they had first met. He squares his shoulders. “You’ve got a sword, right?”

“You’re not going either.” Geoff snaps.

“You wanted me to help keep Gavin safe? Then let me go.” Michael’s lip curls back and Gavin shivers. He hasn’t seen this side of him in a long time.

“I’m not putting you in danger.”

“And what if something happens to Ryan out there!?” Michael shouts. “Goddammit Geoff! I’m just trying to help!”

“I know you are.” Geoff grabs him by the shoulders when he tries to push his way out of the room. “Gavin needs you here now. Ryan’s strong. He can hold his own.”

“Are you sure?” The way Michael stares Geoff down brings some less than pleasant memories back to Gavin. Memories of when he first came to the city and Michael had been staring at  _ him _ like that.

“He’ll call for help if he needs it.” Geoff doesn’t take his hands off of Michael’s shoulders, and when his light pulses, Gavin  _ swears _ he sees a second flash of color- a bright, brilliant red that he’s never seen before. But just as quickly as he sees it, it’s gone. And Geoff doesn’t seem to react, so he keeps his mouth shut. “I’ll handle it. You two stay here, I’ll wait for him outside.”

“Geoff-” Michael starts again, and there’s no mistaking the pain and frustration in Geoff’s eyes.

“ _ Please. _ ” He whispers. “Please just- just trust me.” He cups Michael’s face in both hands and pulls him in for a kiss that seems to dissolve the rage that tenses his shoulders. “It’ll be alright. Try to go back to sleep.” He murmurs.

“Not a chance.” Michael sits back down on the edge of the bed and Geoff opens his mouth like he wants to say something else, but he just sighs and leaves the room instead.

“Michael…” Gavin starts when Michael stands and starts pacing, his fists clenched tight.

“I’m thinking.” Michael mutters.

“Michael please… Don’t-” He sniffles a little and Michael freezes. “Don’t do anything stupid…” He chokes.

“Gavvy… Gavvy I’m sorry.” Michael comes to stand in front of him and takes his face in his hands gently. “I’m sorry I just… I want to  _ help _ …”

“I know you do, love. But having you here with me helps more than watching you run headfirst into a man like Jeremy. After what Ryan told me… After what I saw in my memories… I don’t want you to fight him. I can’t… I can’t let you do that. I can’t lose you.”

“I’m sorry…” Michael leans down to kiss him softly and he reaches up to tangle his fingers in his hair and keep him in place. Michael makes a little noise in the back of his throat and then Gavin feels it- the now familiar pulse of magic. Tingling and  _ hot _ , spreading from his lips all the way through his body and bringing him unrivaled comfort.

“Michael-” He gasps, pulling back. The second the contact ends, that warmth is gone. There’s no light in Michael’s eyes- no light shining from within him.

“Are you alright?” Michael frowns at him a little.

“I’m fine.” He murmurs, touching Michael’s cheek gently. “Did- Did you feel that?”

“It’s okay. You didn’t hurt me.” Michael smiles.

“G-Good.” He settles on that, instead of asking more questions. It could have just been his own magic, after all.

He’s not sure how long Ryan’s gone, but when he hears Geoff call out for him, Gavin’s on his feet in an instant with Michael beside him.

“Hold on. Let them talk first.” Michael holds on to his wrist. “Wait for Geoff to come get us.” Gavin huffs but he sits back down with his arms crossed and waits, tapping his fingers nervously.

“I can’t just sit here.” He finally snaps, standing again and pushing his way out of the room- but he freezes when the front door opens and Ryan stumbles in with Geoff supporting him. “Ryan-” He breathes.

“I’m alright  _ vähän valoa _ .” Ryan smiles weakly as he starts to sit down.

“I don’t think so.” Geoff heaves him back to his feet despite his protests. “Go change first. You’ll catch your death.”

“Hen.” Ryan scoffs affectionately, leaning in to knock his forehead against Geoff’s before he shuffles to his room, and Gavin follows him, ignoring Geoff’s little noise of protest.

“Ryan?” He whispers, shutting the door behind him and watching Ryan pull off his shirt with his heart caught in his throat. “What happened out there? Did… Did you find Jeremy?” Ryan hesitates and sighs.

“Yes. He wants to talk to you.”

“You- You’re not going to let him take me, are you?”

“No. No darling, of course not. But I do think you should talk to him. I’ll be with you, so will Geoff and Michael.”

“But I-” When Ryan turns towards him again, Gavin sees a thin cut along the front of his throat and another on his cheek. “What does he want?”

“He says he just wants to talk… I don’t believe him, and that’s why I’ll be going with you. But… I’m sorry… I- I promised him I would try. If I hadn’t…” He reaches up to touch his throat and Gavin sees him swallow.

“I understand.” He does his best to keep his voice from shaking and looks down at the floor. “As long as you’re with me.” He looks up again when Ryan tucks his fingers under his chin to tip his face up.

“I promise you. I won’t leave your side.” Ryan whispers, leaning in to kiss him gently. “We have three days. I’ll try to teach you as much as I can before then.”

“You’re bleeding.” Gavin reaches up to touch the cut on Ryan’s cheek and tries to ignore the little tingle that creeps up his spine when he winces and draws in a sharp gasp.

“I’m fine.”

“No you aren’t.” Gavin looks him over slowly, taking inventory of new cuts and bruises. “You pulled your stitches again.”

“Geoff can fix them.” Ryan leans in again, his nose bumping against Gavin’s gently. “Or you can. If you want to try.”

“I don’t know how to- I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You don’t have to worry about hurting me darling.” There’s something in Ryan’s voice- a breathless sort of longing that makes Gavin shiver. When Ryan takes his hand he holds his breath and looks up into his eyes, trying not to shake as his hand is pressed against the wound in his side.

“Ryan?”

“Shh. Just-” Ryan kisses him again and presses his hand harder against his side. “Bastard always knew how to push my buttons.” He groans.

“ _ Oh _ .” The breath leaves Gavin all at once and he presses again- harder, and of his own volition and Ryan  _ moans _ . The sound hits him like a punch to the gut and he feels his face heating up as he takes a hesitant step back. “I- I don’t think I can-” He lets the sentence end in an embarrassed stammer and Ryan chuckles breathlessly, backing away with a sheepish grin and continues getting changed.

“Sorry. That’s not something I can just spring on you.” He laughs a little, but Gavin can hear the strain in his voice.

“Is that why you stayed with him so long?” Gavin sits down on the edge of the bed and watches him, folding his hands in his lap.

“Part of it.” Ryan sighs, turning around once he’s dressed again and joining him. “Geoff is…  _ amazing _ .” He smiles fondly. “But Jeremy… He was.” He pauses before continuing carefully. “Unhinged. He never had any reservations about hurting me. It’s what I wanted. Geoff will, if I ask for it, but it’s not the same. He’s too careful. I can always tell what he’s going to do next.”

“Is this… Would you ask me to do it?”

“Only if you’re comfortable with it. And it doesn’t have to be like this.” Ryan gestures at the scars up his arm. “But if you don’t want to, I would never make you. I know it’s not for everyone.”

Gavin can’t bring himself to say anything. The idea is…  _ tempting _ somehow. But the thought of doing anything to hurt Ryan makes his stomach turn. He’s not entirely sure if it’s a bad feeling though. The two of them sit in silence for a little while, at some point Ryan’s hand finds his, and Gavin twines their fingers together with a little smile and leans against his shoulder, just listening to the rain on the roof. It’s easy to forget what they’re up against for a moment.

“Gavin?” Ryan starts after what feels like an eternity.

“Mm?” Gavin just hums, still leaning against his shoulder, his eyes closed.

“Did you ever meet Michael’s mother?” The question takes him by surprise and he sits up a little, frowning.

“I… I don’t think that I ever did. Why do you ask?”

“It’s nothing.” Ryan smiles a little. “Just wondering. You’ve both mentioned his father and his views. I was just curious about hers.”

“Come to think of it… I don’t recall Michael ever talking about his mother.”

“That’s alright. It’s not important.” Ryan’s smile turns a little sad and Gavin wants to ask him what he’s thinking about, but before he can, the door opens slowly and Geoff looks in.

“Ryan? Gav? Everything alright?”

“Everything’s fine Geoff.” Ryan assures him gently.

“Alright… Come on. Let’s get those stitches fixed up.” Geoff comes over to help Ryan up, and Gavin stands with him, following them back out to the kitchen where Michael’s pacing and chewing a hangnail.

“What’s wrong love?” Gavin puts a hand on his shoulder to stop him and he jumps like he’s been shocked. “Michael?”

“Just thinking.”

“Been doing a lot of that tonight haven’t you?” He jokes softly. Michael frowns at him and he sighs. “Come off it love. We won’t get anything done by worrying.” A noise from Ryan draws his attention away from Michael and he goes to put a gentle hand on his shoulder while Geoff works calmly- fixing stitches and wiping up dried blood.

“Geoff, will you stay with me tonight?” Ryan asks carefully.

“Of course. If that’s alright with you two?” Geoff glances at Gavin and Michael. “You can take my bed if you want.”

“I’m sure we’ll make due.” Michael smiles and yawns. “C’mon Gav. We should go back to bed.”

“I’ll let all of you sleep in, in the morning.” Geoff sighs. “You need it.”

“You need your sleep too.” Michael frowns, but Geoff gives him a little smile and pats him on the cheek.

“I’m an early riser.” He chuckles. “Can’t help it. Don’t you worry about me.” The dark circles around Geoff’s eyes don’t inspire confidence, but Gavin just nods and leans in for a tight hug.

“Try to get  _ some _ sleep.” He whispers.

“You too.” Geoff gives him a soft kiss on the cheek, then gives Michael the same treatment before Ryan does. “Sleep well. Come get me if you need anything.”

“We will.” Michael assures him. Gavin follows Michael back to Geoff’s room and sits heavily on the bed with a sigh. “Are you going to be okay?”

“I don’t know…” He answers softly, the words sticking in his throat.

“Come here…” Michael climbs into bed and pulls Gavin into his arms as he lays down. “It’s okay…” He whispers, kissing the top of his head and holding him close. “I’ll protect you.”


	25. Chapter 23.5 Bonus Geoff/Ryan NSFW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little bonus chapter for ya.  
> Getting in an extra update now, because I don't know if I'll be able to post on the 11th. Going out of town then for a much needed visit to my family.  
> Ryan and Geoff- directly after the events of the last chapter.

“Ryan.” When Geoff grabs him by the shoulder after his bedroom door closes behind Gavin and Michael, Ryan freezes. He hadn’t even realized he was pacing until he was stopped. “Hey. Look at me.” He looks into his eyes hesitantly, but doesn’t say anything. Not yet. He can feel himself shutting down, and he knows that Geoff can see it too when he cups his cheek and frowns. “What do you need?”

“Just need you.” He breathes, leaning into the soft touch. “Just you… I need-” He swallows down the sickening guilt that rolls in his stomach. “I need to forget him.”

“Come here.” Geoff pulls him in close and lets him rest his head on his shoulder, kissing his temple gently. “I’m sorry…” He whispers. “I shouldn’t have let you go alone… I should have gone with you or-”

“No. I needed to go alone. And you needed to be here for them.” Ryan whispers back. “If he’d seen Gavin he might have taken him… And Michael- I don’t want to think about what he would have done to him.”

“Michael actually tried to follow you.” Geoff chuckles, running his fingers through Ryan’s hair gently. “He’s a fighter. I’d be more afraid for Jeremy than him.” Ryan leans back and frowns.

“Geoff, you remember him… Michael may be strong but you know Jeremy would destroy him…”

“I wouldn’t be so sure. He said he was on track for the city guard. And, knowing what we know, if he were thrown in against someone like Jeremy it might trigger  _ that _ .” Geoff keeps his voice low, and Ryan knows he’s listening for any noise from his room- making sure that Michael and Gavin can’t hear them.

“Are you sure you don’t want to tell him before we go talk to Jeremy?” Ryan makes his way to his room and watches Geoff lock the door with a smirk. “Why the lock?”

“You know why.” Geoff pushes him up against the wall and Ryan’s breath catches. “I’ll unlock it when we’re done.”

“Gavin didn’t wear you out?” He teases, brushing his nose against Geoff’s and kissing him softly.

“You heard?” Geoff chuckles, kissing him back.

“Only a little.” When Geoff’s hand brushes over his side, Ryan gasps softly. “Really?” He looks up hopefully but his stomach turns with guilt when he sees the hesitance in Geoff’s eyes.

“Is that what you want?”

“Geoff- you know you don’t have to-” He breaks off with a groan when Geoff presses harder. “If you don’t want to-”

“Ryan. Is this what you want right now?” Geoff asks again, firmer this time and Ryan  _ melts _ .

“Yes…” He whispers, a strange mix of shame and arousal rolling together in his stomach before Geoff’s next kiss chases away the insecurities that haunt him constantly.

“Lay down.” Geoff orders, pulling back a fraction of an inch.

“Geoff-”

“I said lay down, Ryan.” Geoff’s voice takes a hard edge that makes Ryan shiver and he takes a hesitant step back, sitting on the edge of the bed before Geoff puts a hand on his shoulder and pushes him down to his back- with none of his usual softness. “There we go. That’s good Ryan.” Geoff pins him by the throat easily and Ryan’s eyes go wide.

“Geoff, please- I need-”

“I’ll tell you what you need.” Geoff traces his thumb over his lip softly, and he lets himself be lulled into a false sense of security before Geoff’s palm makes hard contact with his cheek and he gasps. “This is what you wanted isn’t it?”

“Yes.” He whispers, feeling his face go red with embarrassment. Geoff’s always so patient with him though- he doesn’t judge him, he indulges this shameful part of him without question and falls into this role  _ so _ easily.

“Look at you.” Geoff coos, petting over the sting of the slap gently. “So easy for me aren’t you darling?” Ryan just nods- not sure if Geoff really wants him to answer. “You’re so good Ryan. Just desperate, hm?” He nods again, his breath caught in his throat now. “Do you just want me to hurt you, or do you want me to fuck you?” Ryan chews his lip, and gasps when Geoff presses his thumb into the cut on his cheek. “Speak up.”

“Gods- Geoff  _ please _ .”

“Please what, my love? Which do you want?”

“Fuck me.” He pants. “Please, please-”

“Shh shh. Keep your voice down.” Geoff’s hand moves to cover his mouth and Ryan whines. “Don’t want Gavvy to hear you begging for my cock, do you  _ Kjæreste _ ? Or maybe you do.” He hums. “Might make him jealous though. You heard how pretty your little light moaned for me, didn’t you?”

“Yes.” He gasps when Geoff moves his hand.

“I wonder if he would come to check on you. After all. I’m about to make you  _ scream _ .” Geoff moves to pin him smoothly, wedging a knee between his thighs and holding him by the throat, his magic sparking across his palm in a way that makes Ryan’s back arch.

“Fuck…” He breathes.

“Did he get to see your light like this?” Geoff coos, brushing a thumb under his eye.

“No. Not this time.”

“Good.” Geoff leans in to kiss him, but it doesn’t last nearly long enough and Ryan tries to follow him with a whine when he moves back. “Down.” He orders- almost coldly- as he pushes him back.

“Please-”

“Ryan. Don’t push your luck.” 

“Geoff…” He whines. “I’m sorry- I’ll be good.”

“I know you will, my love.” Geoff moves easily to flick open the button of his pants and slips his hand in to give his cock a few slow, short strokes- all he can manage within the confines of the fabric. “What did he say to you to get you so worked up darling?” He teases.

“Pro-” Ryan gasps and arches into Geoff’s touch, “he- he promised to hurt me.”

“But you don’t need him to hurt you anymore, do you?” When Geoff squeezes his cock a little tighter, Ryan whimpers and shakes his head.

“N-No- J-Just you- just need you Geoff. Just you  _ mitt lys _ .” He whispers against Geoff’s lips when he leans in for another kiss. “ _ Vær så snill kajære _ \- I need-”

“I told you. I know what you need. You don’t need to tell me.” Geoff breathes against the side of his throat. “I’ll take care of you, you know that.” Ryan jolts- covering his mouth with one hand to muffle a strained moan when Geoff’s free hand moves to press  _ hard _ against the wound in his side, and he  _ swears _ he feels the newly placed stitches giving already. “There it is.” Geoff chuckles.

“G-Geoff-” He chokes when Geoff doesn’t let up, tugging his pants down over his hips impatiently to free his cock. “ _ Fuck _ .”

“Close already?” If it had been anyone other than Geoff talking to him in this scathing tone, Ryan would have struck out without mercy, but now he just squeezes his eyes shut and nods, feeling his cheeks going red. “Speak up.” Geoff orders, pressing down harder. Now he’s  _ sure _ the stitches have popped- and he feels blood trickling down his side. But he knows Geoff will patch him up again when they’re done. More than Jeremy ever offered him.

“Y-Yes-” The second the word leaves him, so do Geoff’s hands- and Ryan bites back a frustrated groan. “No- gods Geoff  _ please _ \- don’t stop.” He begs.

“Oh but I’m not done with you yet darling.” Geoff puts his thumb to his lower lip, coaxing his mouth open. “You look so lovely when you’re desperate, Ryan.” He sighs. “Sometimes I wish I could keep you like this all the time.”

“You could- if you really wanted to.” Ryan’s voice cracks and Geoff frowns at him.

“I’m not taking you away from yourself. I would never-”

“I know. But you could.” He laughs a little. It’s a tempting idea- letting Geoff rip everything away from him and remake him into whatever he wanted. He knows he wouldn’t actually do it, not for good anyway, but the option has always sat at the back of his mind. Offering him a strange bit of comfort. If he were ever to snap again-

“Ryan?” A gentle hand on his cheek snaps him back to the present and now Geoff just looks concerned. “Where did you go,  _ Kjæreste _ ?”

“Nowhere.” He shakes his head and tries to keep his voice steady. “I’m here, I promise.”

“If you need to stop-”

“No- please- I don’t want to stop. I  _ can’t _ stop now.” He glances down, then looks back up into Geoff’s eyes with a raised eyebrow. That makes Geoff laugh- at first a stifled little chuckle then out loud, a sound that makes Ryan’s heart sing and his marks flash happily.

“Alright.” Geoff finally chuckles, catching his breath and leaning in for a kiss that’s sweeter than before. “Let’s get you off, my love. Will you be alright if I don’t fuck you? I don’t want to hurt you too badly. I don’t know if you could handle-”

“You can if you want to. I handled worse with him.” Ryan tries to assure him, but that just makes Geoff frown again.

“Ryan…”

“I want to get you off too.” Ryan insists softly.

“Don’t worry about me.” Geoff smiles a little and kisses him gently, wrapping his hand around his cock again.

“No- Geoff  _ please _ -” He begs, his hips bucking up off of the bed. “I want you to-”

“ _ Fuck _ Rye…” Geoff’s head falls to rest on his shoulder when he groans and Ryan breathes his next plea into his ear.

“You said you would-” he gasps softly, “-said you’d help me forget him.”

“I suppose I did, didn’t I.” Geoff murmurs, spreading his knees and kissing along the side of his throat. “And what kind of man would I be if I went back on my word and left you wanting? Oh  _ Kjæreste _ … My sweet, perfect Ryan.”

“Geoff-”

“Did he ever talk to you like this,  _ mitt lys _ ? Did he ever tell you just how amazing you are?”

“W-Well-  _ yes _ but-”

“But he didn’t mean it like I do, did he?” Ryan’s not expecting it when Geoff slips a slick finger into him and bites at his shoulder.

“No- not like you- never like you-” He shivers and moans, his back arching when Geoff pushes in a second finger. “F-Fuck-”

“Shh, darling, just let me take care of you now.” Geoff chuckles in his ear. “I’ll always take care of you.”

“I- I know you will.” Ryan sighs.

Geoff’s gentle with him- almost  _ too _ gentle for what Ryan wants after his run in with Jeremy. He’s still too tense to want anything other than a quick fuck just to get rid of the lingering grip that Jeremy’s magic still has on him. But Geoff doesn’t budge. Doesn’t give him more until he’s satisfied with his work- until Ryan’s loose and pliant enough to not want to put up a fight. Until he’s nothing more than a whimpering mess under his hands, begging softly for more. Despite all of Geoff’s gentle care in prepping him, when he  _ finally _ settles between his thighs and pushes in slowly, pain shoots up from his side and he clenches his teeth around a gasp.

“Shh. I’m here. I’ve got you.” Geoff soothes, running his fingers through his hair.

“Hurts-” Ryan huffs through his teeth. “Y-You- you were right.”

“Want me to stop?”

“No. No please don’t-”

“Are you sure?” Geoff kisses him softly, drawing out another moan.

“I’m sure. I’m cl- I’m so close Geoff-” He’s just shushed again- quieted with a slow kiss that chases away some of that pain and leaves Geoff’s magic tingling on his lips. “G-God-” He groans when Geoff’s pace quickens. He’s still gentle, but the faster thrusts are jarring enough that Ryan gets the little jolts of pain that he  _ needs _ now. Any other time he would have been embarrassed by how quickly he finds himself on the edge of his orgasm. But for now he doesn’t care, and just tightens his arms around Geoff’s neck to pull him in for a deep kiss that takes his breath away.

“ _ Fuck _ -” Geoff moves one hand to wrap it around Ryan’s cock, but bumps the wound in his side on his way and he gasps- his back arching as he comes across his own stomach before Geoff even touches him. “There you go darling.” He chuckles.

“K-Keep going- please-” Ryan begs. “Please- I want you to- want you to come too-” Geoff breathes a quiet curse as his hips go still and Ryan moans when he feels his cock twitch and throb inside him.

“Gods- Ryan-” He groans, giving him soft kisses as he pulls out slowly. “I love you.” He laughs breathlessly.

“I love you too.” Ryan chokes on the words and Geoff scrambles to pull him in close when tears pool in his eyes. “I-I’m sorry-  _ fuck _ Geoff, I’m so sorry.” He sobs.

“You’re alright.” Geoff whispers, kissing the top of his head. “We’re okay… Don’t worry. We’ll figure it out. I promise.”


	26. Chapter 24

Gavin’s sleep is fitful to say the least. He finds himself waking up far more often than usual and just hopes that he isn’t disturbing Michael too much. Too many dreams that he now recognizes as memories that bring a tight pain to his chest- a mourning for everything he didn’t know he’d lost. Memories of his mother- teaching him little spells that make his marks burn with longing. Memories of playing in the forest with his friends as a small child. Memories of Jeremy… Of them playing together, growing up, learning how to navigate, learning how to use their magic… Their first kiss- nervous, stolen in the dark behind his house, noses bumping together clumsily with quiet laughter. That one makes him sit up, muffling quiet sobs behind his hands and praying he won’t wake Michael. Luckily, he stays asleep, even when Gavin climbs slowly out of bed and makes his way into the front room, folding himself into Geoff’s chair and staring out the window at the storm.

He’s not sure how long he sits there, his heart racing, but eventually a loud clap of thunder shakes the windows and jerks him out of his thoughts. He holds his breath and waits to see if the noise wakes the others. A few minutes pass without any noise from anyone else in the house, and Gavin sighs, picking at a loose thread on the arm of the chair. He’s exhausted, but he knows he won’t be able to fall asleep again with the nervous energy prickling just under his skin. Knowing that Jeremy’s out there somewhere- just  _ waiting _ \- is enough to make him jump at any noise in the small house.

It doesn’t take long for that nervous energy to manifest in his light and Gavin watches it flicker through the marks that trail up his arm. He sighs as he conjures up a tiny flame in his palm and smiles when it starts to skitter around over his skin. It feels easier now than it had before- he wonders if just being around Geoff and Ryan is making it easier, or if it has something to do with getting his memories back. Either way, he’s pleased by the little bit of progress. But there’s something missing. He can’t place it at first, but he starts to realize that it’s  _ Jack _ . There’s an ache in his heart- a hole there that only his soft presence can fill, and he extinguishes the little flame in his hand before it gets any bigger- some deep repressed memory of his emotions getting the better of him and the damage he’d caused reminding him to be careful.

But it isn’t just Jack he wants. Gavin can’t stop thinking about Jeremy… And that terrifies him. He’s seen the pain he’s caused, but now he’s seen the  _ joy _ as well. And somehow, guilt starts to gnaw at him. If he hadn’t left home Jeremy might have stopped with the blood magic. He wouldn’t have gone to the southlands looking for him, and he wouldn’t have hurt Ryan- and who knows who else. His mother wouldn’t be worrying about him… And more than all that, Jeremy wouldn’t be out in this storm now- likely without shelter. He can’t recall what Jeremy had been wearing, but he’s willing to bet that it’s not going to hold up to the violent early autumn storms of the north. The weight of knowing there’s nothing he can do is  _ crushing _ in a way that he’s not expecting. This is a man who knowingly put him in danger, even though he claimed to love him. A man who had nearly  _ killed _ Ryan just a few days ago.

The frustration doesn’t go away when Gavin reminds himself that he’ll be seeing Jeremy again in just a couple of days, and that he’ll be able to get his answers then. If anything it gets  _ worse _ . He doesn’t want to  _ wait _ . He’s done nearly twenty years of waiting and he’s sick of it. But it’s still a surprise when he finds himself standing and moving around the home carefully. He’s not sure which boards creak, or if anyone actually  _ is _ awake just listening to the rain like he was.

It doesn’t take long for him to find his boots and pull them on, along with Ryan’s jacket and his own cloak from the temple- now torn and stained almost beyond recognition, only the gold emblem embroidered on the back giving any clue now to his devotion. He squeezes the pendant Jack gave him and takes a shaky breath as he pulls the door open slowly. The wind nearly rips it out of his hand and he panics before getting hold of the handle again to pull it closed as quietly as he can. There’s a flash of a memory of himself and Jeremy learning a spell to find someone elses magic and he decides it’s as good a time as any to try- closing his eyes and trying to drag up the memory of how Jeremy’s magic had felt, even though he’s sure it would be different now. He remembers  _ green _ . He remembers warmth. He can hear Jeremy’s laugh and he feels a pulse that makes his magic  _ sing _ before a second sours that joy. This time he sees red- deep and cold and  _ sickening _ \- and he fights to swallow down the fear that threatens to overtake him. He’s already far enough away from the house that he can’t see the lights. He can’t turn back now.

“Hello?” A voice on the wind makes him jump and he whips around trying to find its source. “Who’s out there?” There’s a strange sort of fear in that voice.

“I’m not here to hurt you.” Gavin calls back tentatively. “I just- I just want to talk.”

“Gavin?” Now he can recognize Jeremy’s voice and he looks around a little more slowly. Then he spots him, walking slowly towards him. It’s too dark to read his face from the distance he’s at, but as he comes closer he manifests a flame in his hand and sees surprise in his wide eyes. “What- what are you doing here? How did you find me?”

“I don’t know.” He answers honestly. “On both counts.” Jeremy frowns at him and takes another hesitant step forward.

“Are you alone?”

“Yes. I- I don’t know why I’m here… Geoff’s been helping me get my memories back. I know what you did now.” Jeremy visibly flinches. “Why did you do it?”

“I was just trying to help-” Jeremy’s voice cracks. “I swear, I never meant to hurt you.”

“Why did you attack Ryan?”

“I-”

“And don’t lie to me. Nobody knows I’m here and nobody knows where you are. I could leave your body here and no one would be any the wiser.” The threat rolls off his tongue as easily as the love he professes to Michael.

“Well…” Jeremy sighs and runs a hand back over his head. “I needed to. I’ve been on the road for a long time. I haven’t been able to… work… in months. Sometimes your own blood just isn’t enough. I needed to- I couldn’t face you the way I was. Trevor helped a little, but I just felt…  _ Weak _ . And I couldn’t let you see me like that.”

“I may have been more willing to listen to you if you had.” When Jeremy takes another step in, Gavin takes a step back- he’s not about to let him within arms reach. “If you’d just shown some humility and some honesty you would have gotten a lot farther.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t believe you.” Jeremy flinches again and this time  _ he _ takes a step back.

“How much have you gotten back? You told me the other day that the first memory you had was showing up on the temple steps.”

“The last thing Geoff was able to show me before we needed to stop was you trying to help me the first time. He told me you did it twice.”

“So you- you saw how we were. You saw how good we were together- I just wanted that back.”

“Is my family alive?”

“What?”

“My family. Are they alive?”

“Your mother was- last time I was there. Your dad… He died a couple years after you vanished. He got sick too. I’m sorry…” Gavin pauses, trying to collect himself. He can’t let Jeremy see him cry. Not here. Not now.

“This-” He touches his side hesitantly, “-is this from you?”

“Yes.” Jeremy answers after a moment. “That was from the second time-”

“Are you going to do it again?” Gavin cuts him off.

“No! No… I wouldn’t- not to you.”

“Not to me or anybody else.” Gavin takes the next step forward and Jeremy stumbles when he goes to take a step back. “I won’t let you.”

“N-Now hold on.” Jeremy puts his hands up and stumbles again, and Gavin’s surprised to see  _ fear _ in his eyes. “Don’t- Don’t do anything rash, Gavvy.”

“Don’t call me that.” Gavin snaps. “You lost the right to call me that the day you betrayed me.”

“Y-You don’t need to do this. I- I only wanted to bring you home.” Finally Gavin feels it. The power that Ryan had warned Jack about. It’s the first time he’s felt his magic flow so freely since he came to the city and while it’s frightening at first- it starts to bring him comfort as he leans into it. The more he relaxes into the power he’s been denied- the  _ birthright _ he’s been denied the opportunity to use, the more nervous Jeremy seems to become.

“Are you afraid of me?” He’s surprised by his own voice- he doesn’t sound like himself. Somehow smoother and more measured. If he weren’t so intrigued by the rush of power, he would have been afraid of it.

“Please-”

“Are you afraid of me Jeremy?”

“Yes.” He breathes, something close to awe in his voice. “Gods- I always have been. You were always stronger than me-”

“Is that why you tried to kill me?”

“No! No I- I never tried to kill you. I wouldn’t- I  _ promise _ I was just trying to help you.”

“Are you safe out here?” Gavin looks around casually, and realizes that he can see much better now- realizes that it’s  _ his _ light that’s illuminating the forest around them.

“W-What?”

“You have a safe place to sleep? You’re keeping warm?”

“I-I- Yeah, I guess. Why do you care?”

“Because I want you to show up to that meeting in three days.” He answers simply after a moment of thought, coming closer and reaching out to tip Jeremy’s chin up. “Because I want Ryan to be there when I kill you.” Jeremy’s breath hitches and Gavin smiles. “I think he’d like to see that, don’t you?”

“N-No doubt.” Jeremy stammers out.

“Stay safe.” Gavin taps his lower lip with his thumb before he turns to leave. “Oh, and Jeremy? Don’t you dare try to follow me.”

Gavin brings up little lights as he makes his way back to the house- the same little lights that Ryan had taught him how to make, and he focuses on Ryan’s magic, using it as an anchor point to find his way back. There’s a sudden spike of fear from him and Gavin looks up to see him on the front porch.

“Gavin!” He gasps, rushing to him and scooping him into his arms, holding him tight. “Where the hell did you go?” His voice shakes as he pulls back and cups his face in his hands gently.

“Just for a walk.” Gavin assures him softly, leaning in to knock their foreheads together. “I didn’t go far. I just couldn’t sleep.”

“You should have told me… I would have gone with you… You shouldn’t be out here alone. Not with Jeremy out there.”

“It’s alright. I think I found something.” He smiles and Ryan wipes a thumb under his eye. He can’t tell if he’s crying or not but the gesture is sweet nonetheless.

“What did you find  _ vähän valoa _ ?” Ryan leans in closer, his breath against his lips.

“See for yourself.” Gavin closes the gap between them and Ryan gasps into the kiss, gripping his waist a little tighter and tugging him closer.

“Gods above.” He whispers when he pulls away. “Oh Gavvy- look at you. How do you feel?”

“I think I’m afraid.” He answers honestly. “I’ve never felt anything like this before. I- There’s too much.” Now his voice starts to shake. Before, with Jeremy, he’d let his magic move through him unhindered and it had given him the strength he needed to stand up to him. But now it’s too much and he doesn’t know what to do with all of it. “What you said to Jack before… about how dangerous it could be if I snapped… Was that true or were you just trying to scare him into letting me see you?”

“I-” Ryan pauses and strokes his cheek softly.

“And please don’t lie to me…”

“It could be. It’s- It’s hard to say really. I don’t want you to be afraid darling. This is what you were  _ born _ to be.” Ryan takes his hands in his and squeezes gently. “And we’ll help you keep it under control. I  _ promise _ . We just need to find an outlet for you.” He smiles.

“Like what? What can I do that won’t hurt anyone?”

“The lights are a good start.” Ryan looks around with that same fond smile he’d had the first time Gavin had produced the little lights with his help. “It doesn’t have to be a big grand gesture. Anything that uses your magic can help. Geoff’s partial to reading my mind when he needs an outlet.” He chuckles. “I like the lights, personally. It’s simple enough but to keep them up can take a lot of energy.”

“I feel like I could keep these up forever.” Gavin laughs breathlessly.

“Don’t push yourself. There’s a lot there, but if you’re not used to it you could exhaust yourself really quickly.” Ryan leans in to kiss him softly. “You’re so warm.” He murmurs between quick little kisses. “I could almost stand to stay out here for hours as long as I was with you.”

“I- I think I want to try something. If it’s okay with you.”

“What is it?”

“I think I can fix this.” He whispers carefully, touching Ryan’s side gently. “I-I saw something in my memories. It wasn’t this bad but… I helped Jeremy with a cut he’d gotten on his farm.”

“I appreciate it, but I don’t think you should try on your own. Geoff’s got some experience in that area. We can try in the morning when he can keep an eye on you, alright?”

“Alright. Are either of them awake?”

“No, just me. I woke up and figured I’d look in on you and Michael, and right after I saw you were gone I saw your lights in the woods. I didn’t want to worry anyone else.”

“Thank you.” Gavin leans into Ryan’s arms with a heavy sigh and smiles against his shoulder when he hugs him tight.

“ _ Jeg elsker deg _ .” Now Gavin knows he’s crying. Just a little- but he can’t help the way tears gather in his eyes when Ryan kisses his temple and just squeezes him tighter. “Come on. Let’s go get you dried off and back into bed.”


	27. PROGRAMMING NOTE

This note will be deleted eventually 

Hey all.

So. It’s been… A hell of a couple days. I’m not going into anything about what happened here. But I wanted to address a couple things before I continue.

First of all, this is hard news for a lot of people to hear. Me included. Please be kind to people who are trying to process and who are mourning the loss of someone we looked up to and admired.

Second. This fic (and others) will stay up, and it will be finished, but instead of doing weekly updates, I might do a massive upload of the rest once I have it fully finished and edited in a couple weeks. I’m almost done writing it and it’s been nearly a year in the making. I know it’s flown under the radar, but now I’m sort of glad for that. I don’t need people coming for me for writing Ryan in anything right now. I’m really proud of the world I’ve created, and I can’t just leave it. I encourage you to read the rest once it’s up, but if you can’t I completely understand. Just remember- this is a work of fiction and my work is never reflective of current circumstances. Especially here. This is worlds away from reality. For months I’ve been looking at this less as a fanfic and more as something that could stand on it’s own (with a few name changes and perhaps removal of a few scenes). It’s a fantasy first and foremost. And I really need it right now.

End chapter count is probably going to be 39 or 40. I’m working on 37 now. Regardless of if I resume weekly updates or do a couple chapter dumps, there probably won’t be an update for a couple of weeks. But I will put the rest out.

Messages on Tumblr (alexander--reid) and DMs on Twitter (alexander__reid) (two dashes/underscores) are open if you want to talk.

I love you all with my whole heart. You are my light.

-Alex


	28. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're back. I think. For now at least. It's my birthday so I figured I'd give all of YOU a present.
> 
> My heart is still broken and my world doesn’t feel right anymore.  
> Just so we’re all clear here, I feel nothing but resentment for RH. But he is not the character I’ve created here.  
> Love you all.

Gavin says a little thanks to the gods when he climbs back into bed and Michael only whines and cuddles in closer.

“Shh. Just me, love. Go back to sleep.” He whispers, kissing his temple as he gets comfortable.

“Where’d you go?” Michael groans quietly.

“I was just having a little trouble staying asleep.” He half-lies easily. “Went to have some tea. Geoffrey has a lovely collection.” Michael just hums and hugs him close- and like that, it’s easier for Gavin to fall asleep again.

The next morning dawns just as rainy and miserable as the last few and Gavin groans as he wakes up, his joints stiff and aching. Despite his late night rendezvous with Jeremy, he feels more rested than he has in days though and he smiles a little when he smells breakfast cooking and hears Geoff humming in the kitchen. He presses a quick kiss to Michael’s temple, barely waking him before he gets out of bed and follows the sound of Geoff’s voice to the kitchen. He takes a moment just watching the older Witch work- watching his light shift and flicker through his tattoos until he shakes his head with frustrated groan and snaps his fingers. Gavin can’t contain a little squeak of joy when he sees a spectral cat materialize by Geoff’s feet, winding around his legs before jumping up onto the counter.

“Morning.” Geoff chuckles, glancing over his shoulder with a smile. “How long have you been there?”

“Not long.” Gavin smiles, joining him by the stove. “Cute trick.”

“Thanks. It helps sometimes. I can teach you if you want.” Geoff pauses, then sighs. “Ryan told me.” He continues, lowering his voice. “You can’t be putting yourself in danger like that… Even if you didn’t go far, I don’t know where Jeremy is. He-”

“I do.” Gavin cuts him off. “I found him. I don’t have an exact location, but I could lead you to him.”

“What?” Geoff stares at him, wide-eyed. “How?”

“I can see his magic. Almost like a trail. It’s a trick we learned back home.” The words catch in his throat and sting. “How to find people just by their magic.” The little spectral cat meows and jumps down from the counter to rub against his legs, and he’s surprised to actually  _ feel _ it- just a little.

“She knows you’re upset.”

“She?”

“I based her on a cat I had growing up.” Geoff explains with a sad little smile. “So you could find anyone like that?”

“As long as I know their magic, I think so. I don’t know if it would work with someone who wasn’t a Witch like Jack or Michael.” When he says ‘Michael’, Geoff fidgets a little. “That’s why Ryan asked about his mother.” He gasps, covering his mouth and glancing over his shoulder. “Is he-?”

“We don’t know for sure.” Geoff whispers. “ _ Please _ don’t say anything to him. Not yet. If he doesn’t know… Given what I’ve heard about his father and how he grew up, this could shake him. I need him on his feet when we go to meet Jeremy.”

“I won’t…  _ Gods _ … What do we do if he is?”

“I thought we weren’t saying anything.” Ryan’s groggy voice makes Gavin turn and his heart sinks a little when he sees him- the dark circles under his eyes look worse today and he catches a glimpse of the corruption creeping up from his fingertips.

“I didn’t say anything. He figured it out on his own. We’re still not saying anything.”

“You know. I’ve been thinking about that…” Ryan yawns, rubbing his eyes. “I don’t know if it’s a good idea to keep him in the dark. If Jeremy already knows about it, he could use that to his advantage. I don’t want Michael to have that sprung on him by a stranger.”

“Wait- Jeremy knows?”

“He hinted at it when I confronted him yesterday.” Ryan sighs as he sits down and pats his lap- Geoff’s little cat jumping up with a purr. “Said some things that weren’t exactly flattering…”  _ That _ get’s Gavin’s temper flaring.

“What did he say?”

“Gavvy…”

“Ryan.” He growls.

“Hey.” Geoff’s magic hits him like a slap to the back of the head. “Calm.” He orders. “I can’t have you getting worked up like this.” When Gavin glares at him over his shoulder, Ryan snickers.

“Did he hit you? He’s done it to me too.” As soon as the words leave him, Ryan huffs and rubs the back of his head. “What did I do?”

“Just a little reminder.” Geoff smirks.

“Can  _ none of you _ sleep in? My god.” Michael groans through a yawn as he shuffles out to join them.

“Says you. You’re almost always up before me.” Gavin huffs playfully.

“Literally only on days when we have work to do. On our days off you’re  _ always _ up first. What’s with you?”

“Well I get to spend more time with you on our days off Michael!” He squeaks when Michael shoves him. He barely notices the fond smiles Ryan and Geoff shoot each other while they watch- just happy to have a little normalcy in his morning.

“Watch out behind you.” Geoff chuckles, bumping him with his elbow as he passes on his way to the table where Ryan’s still sitting with the cat in his lap, leaning down to kiss the top of his head when he sets a couple of plates down.

“So what were you talking about before I came out?” Michael asks as he sits down. “I thought I heard my name.”

“Just talking about the meeting with Jeremy.” Geoff sighs.

“Are you nervous?”

“Of course I am.”

“Just get me a sword.” Gavin watches Michael’s hands and sees his knuckles turning white as he clenches his fists- old training scars standing out against his freckles. He sees Ryan shoot Geoff a look and his heart drops when Michael notices too. “What? Do you think I can’t defend myself?”

“Michael-” Gavin starts quietly.

“Alright.” Geoff sits next to Michael and takes his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I have a couple questions.”

“What kind of questions?” Now there’s no denying the little flicker that Gavin feels- red, warmer than Jeremy’s, dull but  _ desperately _ fighting to grow brighter. He’s nervous. Gavin’s always been able to read him, but now this little flame makes it so much easier. “Geoff?”

“Did you know your mother?”

“Not really. My dad says she ran off when I was little. I have a few memories of her but nothing solid or important. Why?” Geoff doesn’t answer right away and Michael turns to Ryan. “What’s going on?” Gavin can tell he’s trying to keep his voice steady, but he sees the way he squeezes Geoff’s hand tighter.

“When I talked to Jeremy yesterday he said some things that got me thinking. He said that he wanted to take Gavin home, and when I told him Geoff and I would take him he…” Ryan sighs and looks at Geoff with a deep kind of pain in his eyes that makes Gavin nervous somehow. Geoff just watches him carefully. “He asked if I really thought that was true. He told me that Geoff likes collecting…  _ broken _ things…” His voice catches and Geoff sits up a little straighter.

“Ryan- You know that’s not-” He starts but Ryan raises a hand to stop him.

“You know it is… You like fixing.”

“But you’re not-” Geoff stammers, looking between the three of them. “None of you- I never thought that. Not for a second!”

“That’s what I told him. But he said-” Gavin sees Ryan’s throat bob when he swallows. “He said ‘what about that pretty little half-breed? Do you think Geoff will let  _ him _ go?’” Ryan’s illusion flickers when he says  _ half-breed _ and Gavin can practically taste the venom he spits out with it. “It’s a  _ horrible _ thing to call somebody… A Witch is a Witch, no matter where in their bloodline the Light comes from.”

“Wait-” Michael’s shoulders tense up. “Are you saying- Did you know?” He looks straight and Gavin and he shakes his head, so does Ryan.

“I had no idea.”

“And you?” He turns his eyes to Geoff who looks  _ away _ and Gavin’s heart nearly stops.

“I-” Michael starts to stand, pulling his hand away - and Geoff doesn’t try to stop him. “I  _ thought _ I felt  _ something _ … But I wasn’t sure so I-”

“You weren’t going to tell me?” Michael’s voice starts to shake in a way that Gavin has only heard a few times. It’s pure, unfiltered  _ rage _ and even Geoff looks frightened by that- as he should. Gavin’s been on the receiving end of Michael’s legendary temper and he wouldn’t wish it on anybody- not even Jeremy.

“Michael-” Geoff seems to find his feet and stands, holding out his hand slowly. “Michael please. Just- Just hear me out.”

“You were just going to keep that quiet!?” Michael shouts, and Gavin gasps when the little flame of his magic flares in his chest.

“No. Not forever. I wasn’t sure if the warmth I felt was your light or if I was just-”

“Don’t you dare.” Michael growls, grabbing Geoff by the front of his shirt when he comes a little closer.

“ _ Kjæreste _ -”

“ _ Don’t _ .” Michael snaps.

“I was going to tell you! I promise I was- just… Not before we met with Jeremy-”

“When then?”

“I don’t know. But this is exactly what I was trying to avoid!” Geoff glares at Ryan. “I didn’t want to scare you. I didn’t want you to be worried about this on top of everything else… I swear I was just trying to-”

“Trying to what?” Michael forces the words through grit teeth and Ryan puts a hand on Gavin’s arm when he starts to move in to separate him from Geoff. “ _ Protect _ me? I’m not a  _ child _ Geoffrey! If you had been  _ honest _ with me-”

“I never lied! I wouldn’t lie to you! And I’m not trying to treat you like a child. I’m not trying to treat you like you’re made of glass because I  _ know _ you’re not! You are  _ so much more _ than that.” Geoff reaches up to cup Michael’s face in both hands. “But this is- this isn’t news that many people are prepared to receive. I wanted to be able to tell you when we were alone. When I had time.”

“Time for what.” Michael spits, squirming out of Geoff’s hands and taking a step back.

“Time to show you what a beautiful gift you’ve been given…” Geoff’s voice comes out softer now. “I swear- I didn’t know that night. Not for sure. I thought I felt it but I wasn’t sure until Ryan told me what Jeremy said. You have to believe me-”

“Why should I?”

“I guess you have no reason to.” Geoff sighs. “I can’t fault you for that. If you want to leave, I understand.”

“Geoff-” Ryan starts.

“Maybe I will.”

“Michael!” Gavin’s heart drops.

“I don’t want you out there alone. I’ll walk you back.” Geoff mutters, turning and heading back for his room.

“Geoff wait-” Ryan gets up to follow him, glancing between Gavin and Michael nervously until Gavin nods and he hurries down the hall.

“Michael… You’re not really going to leave- are you?” Gavin chokes on the question. “Please don’t go… I need you-”

“I don’t know.” Michael mutters, running his fingers back through his hair with a frustrated groan. “What the fuck am I supposed to do with this!?” He shouts.

“We can help. I-”

“I don’t want this!” Gavin’s surprised to see tears welling in Michael’s eyes. “After everything-  _ everything _ my father told me! He was lying to me this whole time!” Michael’s fist makes hard contact with the table and Gavin flinches.

“He might not have known.” He tries to keep his own voice steady. “I mean… We didn’t know about Trevor. Maybe your mother-”

“Don’t.”

“Maybe she was good at hiding it too. Or maybe it came from somewhere else in your bloodline. Look at the McClaine’s daughter. Jay and Maddie aren’t Witches but she is.”

“If my mother was a Witch how could she fall in love with a man like my father?” Michael spits bitterly.

“If she left, that could have been where your father’s hatred came from. You said that he told you a Witch had wronged him.”

“He said it was back when he was a child.”

“He also didn’t tell you she was a Witch. I wouldn’t trust his word.” Gavin watches Michael slump and reaches for him carefully when his shoulders start to shake. “Michael…”

“Goddammit…” He chokes, reaching up to cover his mouth, muffling a sob. “ _ Fuck- _ ”

“Calm down, love.” Gavin closes the gap between them and puts a hand on his back. “I’m here… I’ll help you… So will Geoffrey.”

“He’s not going to want anything to do with me-”

“Of course he will.” Gavin turns Michael to face him and wipes at his tears. “I love you Michael. And I think Geoffrey does too.”

“No… Why would he…” Michael looks back down at the floor.

“Michael Jones.” Gavin snaps, making Michael look back up. “Don’t you dare put yourself down like that. Go apologize to him. I’m sure he’ll understand.”

“What if he doesn’t? What if he wants me to leave?”

“He won’t make you. Especially not if I tell him I need you.”

“I think I understand…” Michael whispers, looking him in the eye. “Geoff told me what you said- about feeling like my love for you was conditional. I think- I think I’m starting to understand that fear…”

“Nothing is going to change how I feel about you.” Gavin promises softly.

“Not you-  _ him _ … He told me he was falling in love with me and I- I didn’t know what to say. And now- how I acted-”

“Go talk to him.” Gavin looks up when he hears Ryan’s voice. “Please.”

“Go on.” Gavin leans in to kiss Michael’s cheek gently. “I’ll be here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said in the programming note, all of this was written months ago. I still haven't been able to work on the last few chapters, but by the time I get there in posting they'll be done.  
> If you're uncomfortable with RH (which I fully understand), but you want to see how this ends, keep an eye out for what I'm calling "The Blackwell Edit" in which I've changed RH to essentially an OC called Ryan Blackwell (too many uses of "Ryan" and other forms of his name to change). So feel free to read that and love Blackwell. A flawed man, yes, but not a shithead.
> 
> Love y'all. It's good to be back.


	29. Chapter 26

Geoff paces around his room equal parts anxious and angry even as Ryan tries to talk him down. He doesn’t want to send Michael away- not if he can help it, but it seems like his heart’s already set.

“Geoff.” Ryan snaps. “Are you listening to me?”

“No. I’m not.” He shoots back. “ _ Damnit _ Ryan! Why the hell would you make me tell him!?”

“He deserved to know!”

“Not like this! How would you like to be told that you were one of the people you spent your whole childhood hating? How would you feel finding this out when the person you loved was being  _ hunted like game _ !? I would have told him  _ after _ we straightened up this mess with Jeremy- one way or another- but  _ you _ had to set up a meeting with  _ all _ of us!”

“I thought it was what you would have done! It was the safest option for Gavin! He can’t go to meet Jeremy alone, I don’t know if I can be trusted to be the only one to go with him, you can bet every last piece of gold you have that Michael wouldn’t just stay behind, and I know you wouldn’t stay here if he went!”

“Why can’t you be trusted?” 

“He still has me Geoff. You  _ know _ he does. And he’s never going to let me go! I did what I had to do to keep us  _ alive _ \- to keep  _ myself _ alive! He was going to kill me!” When Ryan’s voice cracks, Geoff finally stops and looks him in the eye. His illusion- always so carefully constructed to hide the guilt of his past- is slipping. It always does when he’s upset like this, and Geoff’s heart twists with guilt.

“I’m sorry-” He whispers, reaching out to touch Ryan’s cheek, running his thumb under his eye gently. “I’m sorry… I know- I know you were just trying to help. I shouldn’t have yelled like that. I’m just… I’m so worried about all of you. I’m doing the best I can to protect everyone and I can’t… I can’t-” His own voice breaks and Ryan takes the next step in to hug him.

“You don’t really want Michael to leave, do you?” Ryan whispers against his shoulder and he shakes his head.

“No… I just want to help.”

“Do you want to talk to him alone?”

“Please.”

“I’ll go get him.” Ryan steps back and takes a breath, his illusion slipping back into place before he goes to the door and pauses. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He murmurs, sitting on the edge of his bed. When the door opens, he can hear Michael crying, Gavin trying to comfort him gently, and his heart breaks.

“Go talk to him.” He hears Ryan murmur. “Please.” He hears Michael sniffle and a few soft words from Gavin that he can’t quite make out. When Michael steps into his room and shuts the door behind him, Geoff doesn’t move- just looks at him sadly, tries to memorize the pattern of his freckles, and the way the light catches his honey-gold eyes just in case this is the last time.

“Did you really not know?” It’s Michael who speaks first- his voice quiet and measured.

“Like I said… I thought that  _ maybe _ I felt something the night we…” He trails off. “Somewhere deep down in you. Just the tiniest hint of light. But I didn’t know for sure. Just like I would have helped Gavin get his memories back in our own time, I planned on waiting to tell you until I was sure, and I knew we were out of danger. This isn’t something I wanted hanging over your head on top of everything else that’s happening.” Michael just watches him, leaning on the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. “If you really want to leave…”

“Shut up.” Michael snaps, crossing the room in a few easy strides. Geoff stands and tries to take a step back before he grabs him by the front of the shirt again.

“Michael-”

“I said shut up.” Michael practically growls, tugging him in closer and kissing him with a force that makes his knees weak. “Don’t ever lie to me again.”

“I wasn’t lying.” Geoff protests softly, reaching up to tangle his fingers in Michael’s hair- keeping him close and kissing him again. “I was just trying to keep you safe…”

“Why did you tell me now then? If you didn’t want to?”

“Ryan brought up a good point. If Jeremy knows, he could have used that to distract you. And I  _ need _ you out there. I need you to be on your feet with a sword. I couldn’t let him get to you too.” Geoff stays close, whispering against Michael’s lips. “Do you want to see now? Or do you want to wait?” Michael pauses and sighs.

“Tonight.” He murmurs. “I don’t think I can right now.”

“Alright.” Geoff nods and pulls away just enough to brush Michael’s hair off of his forehead. “It really is beautiful, you know. Almost as beautiful as you.” He smiles and kisses him again, softer now. “And just like I promised Gavin, I promise you I’ll teach you how to use it.”

“Will you teach me something before we see Jeremy?”

“I can try. Please don’t get frustrated if it doesn’t take right away. It can be difficult even for people who were raised to use their magic like me and Ryan. And with your temper?” He manages a little chuckle. “I’m not keen on my house burning down.”

“What you said the other night… About falling in love with me… Did you mean it?” The soft caution in Michael’s voice hits Geoff square in the heart and he wipes away a tear from his cheek.

“Yes. Every word of it darling.” He smiles. This time it’s Michael who draws him in for another kiss and when he speaks again, it’s even softer- hesitant.

“I- I love you too.”

“Geoff? Michael?” Ryan’s voice from the kitchen makes both of them jump and pull away from each other.

“Yeah?” He goes to poke his head out of his bedroom door and his breath is stolen when he sees Gavin- his marks shining bright, his light filtering up through his eyes in the most brilliant way. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” Gavin smiles pleasantly. “Doesn’t hurt anymore.”

“Wow…” Michael breathes, pushing around Geoff and going to stand in front of Gavin, taking his hand when he offers it and gasping when a pair of sparks flare up from the point of contact- one gold, one red. Gavin smiles, bright and brilliant.

“Look at that!” He laughs, delighted.

“Calm down.” Geoff chuckles, putting a hand on his shoulder. “We’re going to wait a while before we try to bring out Michael’s light. I’ll be handling that.”

“C’mon Geoff! Let me.” Gavin’s excitement is infectious and Geoff can’t help but laugh.

“Hush  _ vähän valoa _ .” Ryan smiles as he kisses Gavin’s temple gently. “Geoff knows what he’s doing. Are we all alright?” He asks, shooting Geoff a meaningful look.

“We’re fine. Sit.” He smiles and gestures at the table. “Eat.”

“Oh, I had an idea last night.” Gavin pipes up after a few minutes of comfortable silence. “I saw something yesterday. I helped Jeremy with some cuts he got on his farm when we were younger. I thought… Well I thought maybe I’d be able to help Ryan too.” He looks so hopeful, so  _ excited _ at the prospect of being able to help that Geoff can’t stand the thought of disappointing him.

“We’ll see, alright? It’s a little more tricky with a wound this deep.” When Gavin looks down at his plate and sighs, Geoff reaches over to tip his chin up. “I’ll be there to help you. I just don’t want you to get discouraged,  _ Kjæreste _ .” He smiles a little at that and Geoff pats his cheek gently. “There’s that smile.” He chuckles.

“Can we look a little more today?” He asks, softer now- nervous.

“A little. I saw the second round and it’s much rougher than the first. I don’t want to put you through too much. Do you think yesterday helped at all?” Gavin gives him a little look, frowning before his cheeks go red and he sputters. He smirks when Michael raises an eyebrow at him curiously.

“I think so.” He finally laughs with a little smile. “Much easier to relax after that. Maybe you should try it before sending me under this time.”

“Wouldn’t want to distract you too much.” He chuckles around a sip of tea and Ryan shoves him.

“ _ Geoffrey _ .”

“What?” He laughs. “Can you blame me?”

“Did you two-?” Michael breaks off and gestures between the two of them. When Gavin blushes darker and nods Michael turns his pretty eyes on Geoff with a little smirk. “He’s great, isn’t he?”

“I have to admit, I’m jealous you’ve gotten him all to yourself all these years.”

“Not  _ all _ to himself.” Gavin teases, kicking him gently under the table. “Jack had his fair share of nights with me.”

“And I still got you first.” Ryan grins, leaning in to kiss his cheek.

Despite the now more relaxed atmosphere, Geoff can’t let his guard down. As covertly as he can when Gavin and Michael have their backs turned, he summons up two birds- whispering the name of Gavin’s village to one, and sending the other to the forest to keep a lookout. That eases some of the tension from his shoulders and when he feels Ryan’s hand on his back he lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“No you’re not.” Ryan sighs. “You’re jittery.”

“Aren’t you?” Geoff doesn’t turn to look at him, just stares out the window where Gavin and Michael are taking advantage of a break in the storm to get some sunshine. “I’m worried about Gavin.”

“Why? He’s taking everything really well. Much better than I thought he would.”

“He’s taking it  _ too _ well if you ask me.” Geoff frowns. “Something happened to him in the woods last night.” He mutters. “He saw something.” Outside, Gavin turns toward the window and smiles at them, his eyes still too bright for Geoff’s comfort. “We need to find a way to wear him out.”

“Well-” He can hear the smirk in Ryan’s voice.

“Not like that.” He snaps. “We need something safer than just fucking it out of him. If he loses control-”

“I know.” Ryan’s hand runs up and down his back gently. “It’d be fun though.” Now he turns to see the grin spreading across Ryan’s face and rolls his eyes.

“Once he has a better handle on this you can have some fun pushing him.”

“How do you plan on bringing out Michael’s light?” Ryan moves to stand behind him- wrapping his arms around his middle and resting his chin on his shoulder.

“Slowly.”

“Mmhmm.” Ryan hums and kisses behind his ear softly. “And what if he doesn’t want to go slow?” One of Ryan’s hands moves a little lower. “Somehow Michael doesn’t strike me as a patient person. Why not just let him take the lead and find it himself?”

“Rye-”

“They’re not watching.” Ryan chuckles, slipping his hand down the front of Geoff’s pants even as he grabs his wrist to stop him.

“Have I ever told you that you’re a menace?”

“Mmm you may have mentioned it a few times.” He can feel Ryan’s grin against the side of his throat and sighs when his fingers brush over his half hard cock. “Think I can get you off before they come back?”

“Don’t want to risk it.” He laughs, turning to catch Ryan for a kiss before turning him to press him up against the counter. “I love you.” He whispers, smiling against his lips.

“I love you too.” Ryan laughs, bumping their noses together gently. “We’ll figure those two out, won’t we?”

“I’m sure we will. I still wish I’d had time to explain things to them better…” Geoff sighs, just running his fingers through Ryan’s hair and holding him close. “Three days isn’t enough time to get them ready.”

“I think once Gavin gets the rest back, he’ll be a force to be reckoned with. Have you seen anything?”

“I saw all of it. He’s… He’s dangerous, Rye.” Ryan looks over his shoulder at the two young men.

“How do you mean?”

“Everything he did was flawless. He’s quick, precise, and  _ powerful _ . Even Jeremy was afraid of him.”

“So we have an advantage.”

“Or a severe disadvantage.” Geoff watches Gavin pull a little flame to his hand while Michael watches with a smile, the two of them sitting on a fallen tree. “If Jeremy’s that afraid of him he could strike there first.” He feels Ryan’s shoulders go stiff in his loose embrace and kisses his temple gently.

“We’ll just have to make sure he doesn’t get the chance.” Ryan’s voice goes low and dangerous in a way that Geoff  _ loves _ to hear.

“Now, now darling. We promised to let him talk.” He murmurs in his ear. “Let him try to explain himself first. Let Gavin decide what we do. Take your orders from him, understand?” Ryan sucks in a sharp breath and shivers when Gavin looks over at them again, raising an eyebrow this time before leaning over to say something to Michael, who turns as well and smirks.

“Y-Yes.” Ryan whines softly.

“Very good my love. You should let him have a go at ordering you around before the meeting. Let him get used to it. I’m sure he’d be more than happy to indulge you.”

“Geoff-”

“What? You were more than willing to try to get me off, why not let them watch me take you apart? Don’t want Gavvy to see you lose yourself just yet?”

“Fuck-” Ryan’s head drops and Geoff sees a muscle in his jaw twitch as he clenches his teeth, his careful illusion flickering. When he sees the inky black corruption creeping up his neck, worry sits sour in his stomach and he pulls back to look at him better.

“Wait- Ryan, look at me.”

“Geoff?” Ryan frowns a little as Geoff turns his head gently. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s getting worse…” He murmurs. “It didn’t go this far before. And you can usually keep up with me for a while. How do you feel?”

“I don’t feel any different. Where is it?” Ryan tips his head back a little and Geoff follows the new pattern with his fingertips, freezing when he realizes-

“It’s over the cut he gave you.”

“Geoff? Ryan? What’s wrong?” Gavin’s voice at the door makes Geoff jump and he feels Ryan’s magic flare up to repair his illusion quickly.

“Nothing’s wrong  _ vähän valoa _ .” Ryan smiles, charming as ever. “Geoff’s just teasing.” Gavin frowns a little but shakes it off.

“Think we can try now, Geoff?” He asks, his pretty little smile back in place.

“Are you up for that Ryan?” Geoff sees Ryan swallow nervously, looking at him like he can answer for him. “Come on. Speak up darling.” He prompts gently.

“I- Yeah. I think so.” Ryan finally nods, tapping the counter nervously.

“If you don’t want to, Ryan-” Gavin starts, but Geoff cuts him off.

“You need the practice.” He encourages, putting a hand on Ryan’s back and leading him out of the kitchen. “I’ll keep an eye on you.” He whispers in his ear. “Lay back.” Ryan takes a deep breath and lays back, wincing a little and pulling up his shirt. Michael makes a little noise of distress when he sees it, sidling up next to Geoff.

“It looks worse today…” He murmurs, sitting down and letting Ryan rest his head in his lap- the sight makes Geoff’s heart leap into his throat. Behind his whip-sharp temper, there’s a gentler warmth to Michael that he longs to see more of - a reminder that while fire can be deadly, it can also give life.

“It’s alright.” Ryan smiles up at him.

“Alright Gavin. I’ll let you take the lead, and I’ll step in if you need me to, okay?”

“Okay.” There’s no hint of the nervousness that Geoff expected from him and he sits back a little to watch him carefully as he puts a hand over the wound in Ryan’s side. Ryan closes his eyes and breathes deep and Geoff waits.


	30. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To my US readers, I hope you had a safe and lovely Thanksgiving! To all the rest, I hope your week was lovely as well!
> 
> Again, thank you for sticking with me through this fic. The Blackwell edit should be up early 2021, and will be updated in sync with this version.

With so many eyes on him, Gavin knows he should feel at least a little bit nervous, but all he feels is the warmth of his magic pulsing through him. He feels it in his bones and when it branches out- little tendrils of light that he’s not sure anyone else can see- he feels the others. Geoff- blue light, steady and calm wrapping so easily around all of them. Michael- the barest hint of red, just starting to flicker and pulse stronger. And Ryan- but Ryan’s magic is different. The bright purple glow he’s learned to associate with him is being choked by corruption- inky black tendrils reaching for and wrapping around a little ball of his light. He’s first hit with sadness. Now that he knows what it feels like to have his magic stifled- just like Ryan said it was when they first met- he can only imagine the power that’s being blocked out by the lingering effects of Jeremy’s Blight. But then there’s rage, and he tries to tamp it down as quickly as he can when he hears Ryan let out a breath through his teeth. The last thing he wants is to hurt him more.

He focuses on the newly remembered feeling of what it was like to heal Jeremy instead and lets just a little bit of his magic gather in his palm. He feels, more than hears, Ryan take a deep shaking breath before Geoff puts a hand over his.

“Careful now. Nice and slow.” He murmurs close to his ear. “You don’t want to rush it.”

“Not trying to.” Gavin tries to reign it in a bit, but a little bubble of panic starts to grow in his chest when he  _ can’t _ .

“Shh. I’ve got you  _ Kjæreste _ .” Geoff’s arm wraps around his shoulders and Gavin lets himself breathe deep again. “There you go. How do you feel Rye?”

“Still hurts.” Ryan’s voice comes out strained- like he’s forcing the words through his teeth- and Gavin starts to pull his hand away. “No, no, you’re alright darling. You don’t need to stop.”

“You’re doing so well Gavvy.” Geoff kisses his temple and keeps his hand pressed firmly against Ryan’s side. With Geoff’s praise, Gavin pushes his luck- pushes a little deeper, finding one of those tendrils of corruption and wrapping his own light around it until it squirms and Ryan jolts up with a gasp and Geoff pulls him back carefully. “It’s alright. We’re okay.” When Gavin opens his eyes slowly he sees Ryan staring at him, one hand pressed to his side, the other up at his throat.

“What was that?” He pants.

“I- I don’t-” Gavin stammers pulling his hands up close to himself carefully. “I don’t know- I just… I saw what needed to be fixed.” Geoff gives him a look that borders on concern and curiosity before moving Ryan’s hand away from his side.

“Well I’ll be damned.” He whistles softly, his eyes going wide. “Gavvy, look.” But somehow he can’t bring himself to look down- not when Ryan’s looking at him like this. Not when he can see Ryan’s light in his eyes. It’s not until Michael makes a noise that he tears his eyes away from Ryan’s and finally looks. The wound from Jeremy is still there- but nowhere near as bad as it was. Now it looks more like a slash than a stab, more like the injuries he’d seen himself fixing in his memories.

“Can- Can I keep going?” He asks, looking between Geoff and Ryan hopefully.

“Not today. We’ve still got to dig around in your memories some more and I don’t want you to wear yourself out too much.”

“I can do it!” He insists.

“I think I need to take a break darling.” Ryan smiles weakly before leaning in to kiss him sweetly. “You did so well. I’m so proud of you.”

“Really?”

“Really.” Ryan gives him another soft kiss and a smile. “I think I’m going to go lay down for a bit, if that’s alright with you.”

“I’ll send him to you in a minute.” Geoff answers before Gavin gets a chance to. “Michael, will you help him?” Michael gives him a look but nods and pulls Ryan to his feet. Once the door is closed, Geoff stands and Gavin follows him to the kitchen slowly.

“What’s the matter? What- what did I do wrong?” The little bit of pride he’d felt shrinks down to a strange guilt that sits heavy in his stomach and he wrings his hands together nervously while Geoff moves easily through his space, pouring tea and spooning in honey without ever touching any of it- his hands preoccupied with opening different cupboards.

“What did you see?”

“What?”

“You said you saw what needed to be fixed. What was it?”

“I- I could see the corruption.” When he whispers the words Geoff freezes. “I could see what it was doing to him. It’s choking him- his light should be brighter.” Geoff turns to look at him and he shrinks back when he sees fear in his eyes.

“Did you touch it?”

“I-”

“Did you touch it?” He asks again, harsher this time, reaching out and grabbing him by the arm to tug him to the far side of the kitchen so they won’t be heard.

“I think I- I think I  _ broke _ a piece of it. It didn’t hurt me.”

“Gavin. Don’t ever-  _ ever _ \- try to touch someone else’s light like that.”

“I wasn’t trying to-”

“Healing a physical injury is one thing. Healing someone’s magic… Gavin that’s too dangerous. Even for me.”

“So you would let him keep suffering?” Just like the night before in the woods with Jeremy, Gavin’s surprised by the steadiness in his voice. “Geoff I saw his light  _ fighting _ in there. He’s in pain and-”

“ _ Kjæreste _ . Listen to me. I’ve been doing what I can to keep that darkness from spreading in him. I know he’s not as bright as he should be.” Geoff sighs and leans on the counter. “Not as bright as he used to be…” When Geoff reaches for his hand, Gavin shrinks away for just a moment, but takes a deep breath and meets him in the middle. The second Geoff’s fingers brush his own he’s thrown back to what must be one of Geoff’s memories. He sees Ryan- fewer lines around his eyes, no grey at his temples or in his neatly trimmed beard, bright purple light shining through his marks, no deep scars marring his arm. Not to say that he isn’t handsome the way he is now, but seeing him like this - it’s clear to see why Geoff fell head-over-heels for him. He realizes this was their first meeting. He can feel Geoff’s heart racing when Ryan smiles at him and lets his light shine brighter-  _ much _ brighter than it is now.

“ _ Ryan. Ryan Haywood. _ ” He introduces himself with a little laugh when Geoff trips over his words. “ _ Maybe I’ll see you around. _ ” He smiles.

“ _ Absolutely _ .” Geoff breathes, watching him go.

“Geoff-” Gavin gasps when he’s snapped back to the present. “Good lord, warn me before you do that.” He pants, holding himself up with a hand on the counter.

“Sorry. I had to show you what he was like… Before Jeremy…” Geoff sighs, leaning on the counter next to him. “He was… He was unlike anyone I’d ever met. I’m sure you felt it, but I fell in love with him the moment I saw him.” Gavin nods. “Back before we met Jeremy, Ryan was so vibrant. Gods, I probably could have seen his light clear across town when he was excited.” He chuckles, shaking his head fondly. “And you should have seen him when he was excited by something. He used to trip over his words like you wouldn’t believe. He still does, from time to time.” Geoff’s smile turns a little sad and Gavin’s heart twists in his chest.

“When did you know something was wrong?”

“Probably the second or third time I met Jeremy. At first he just seemed like another eager young Witch trying to find his way. But the more time Ryan spent with him, the more I noticed his light dulling. I didn’t notice the-” Geoff takes a shaky breath, like he’s steadying himself. “I didn’t notice the cuts until it was too late. Once or twice won’t do much, and if it had stopped there, I could have helped. But I didn’t notice until he was already hooked on the power Jeremy showed him.”

“His light’s still there Geoff. You could still bring it out.  _ We _ could bring it out. I could see it in him. And the corruption. It’s like…” He struggles for the right words. “It’s like a little creature. Just clinging to his light and draining it. If I can get to it, I think I can break it up enough for Ryan to get out of it.”

“It’s too risky. Now that I know you got sick too- Gavin I’m  _ scared _ of you.”

“W-What?” Gavin’s breath catches in his throat and his heart nearly stops.

“Maybe that’s the wrong way to phrase it. I’m scared  _ for _ you. I still don’t know what the Blight did to your magic- or how far your corruption spreads.”

“But I’m not-”

“There’s some there… It happened to everyone who got sick. I know you don’t remember the day you woke up in the woods with me- the day you met Jeremy again- but I told you not to look down at your hands. I could see it in your marks. It doesn’t spread as far as Ryan’s, but it’s there. At least it  _ was _ . I don’t know if you’ve seen yourself at all today, but your eyes… They haven’t stopped glowing all day.”

“I can feel it.” Gavin lets Geoff’s little smile bring him some comfort. “You don’t think I’m going to hurt him, do you?”

“Not on purpose.” Geoff touches his cheek gently. “But you’re so used to only having a fraction of your power. We need to find a way to get it under control before you try to use it too much.”

“That’s what Ryan said too. I’m sure if I think on it, I’ll find how I did it before, but now I just… I just want to help, Geoff.”

“I know darling. I know…” Geoff pulls him into a tight hug and Gavin buries his face in his shoulder to hide a little sniffle. “I want to help too…” Geoff’s voice cracks a little and it breaks Gavin’s heart. “That’s all I ever wanted to do…”

“Geoff?”

“I’m sorry.” Geoff takes a deep breath and pulls away to hold Gavin’s face in his hands. “Don’t worry about me.” He smiles, but it’s broken, and it chills Gavin to the bone.

“Can you show me a little more?” He asks carefully. “I don’t need to know what I did between my home and here. That isn’t important right now. I just want to see what Jeremy did.”

“That could have more answers for you.”

“I’ll find them later. Please… Just show me.”

“Do you want to go back downstairs?”

“I think that would be best. I’ll tell Michael and Ryan. I- I think they should both stay up here this time.”

“Whatever you want sweetheart. I’ll be waiting for you.” When Geoff kisses him, it takes him by surprise, but he leans into it easily.

“Trying to distract me already?” He teases against his lips when he pulls away.

“Not at all.” He teases back, turning with both of the cups of tea that he’d poured in his hands and heading for the cellar. Once he hears the door close, Gavin sighs and goes to open Ryan’s door. He’s greeted by the sight of Ryan pulling Michael in for a kiss and he clears his throat to announce his presence.

“Gavvy!” Michael jumps away from Ryan like he burned him and his cheeks go red. “I didn’t hear you come in. H-How long have you been there?”

“Just got here love.” Gavin laughs. “Just wanted to let you know that Geoffrey and I are going back downstairs to look at my head a little more. You two carry on.” Michael scrambles off the bed but hesitates when he takes a step closer.

“I- do you want me to come with you?”

“No, that’s alright. I need to do this part on my own.” He smiles sadly. “I don’t want to put either of you through seeing me like that again.”

“Gavin-” Ryan starts.

“Don’t have too much fun without me.” He waves over his shoulder.

“Wait!” Michael rushes up behind him and grabs his wrist before he can close the door and pulls him in for a quick kiss. “I love you. Call, or send Geoff up if you need us, alright?”

“I will.” Gavin kisses his nose. “I love you Michael. You too, Ryan.” He hurries over to give Ryan a kiss as well.

“Be safe  _ vähän valoa _ .” He murmurs.

“I will.”

It’s easier to go down into the cellar today, none of the apprehension that had frozen him the day before hangs over him now and he smiles when he sees Geoff waiting for him. He takes the tea he’s offered and sits with a sigh, wondering briefly if he should bother saying anything. It almost feels like it would be wrong to speak now. So he just sits in comfortable silence with the older Witch, looking at the map still laid out on the table and smirking when he sees that some of the writing smudged after their rendezvous the day before.

“Are you absolutely sure you want to see this?” Geoff asks carefully, moving his chair to sit next to him and tracing his fingers over an x-ed out spot down to the south with a sigh.

“I’m sure.” He nods, following Geoff’s movements curiously. “Is that where you and Ryan came from?”

“Yes. That’s where the city used to be.”

“Used to be?”

“I’ve gotten reports that the city fell after we left. You saw what Ryan and I did when he broke me out of prison. That’s not what did it. When we ran, only the prison was on fire, maybe a few buildings that were too close, but that was it. No one’s been able to tell me what happened, but the general consensus is that the northern army came and leveled the city when they heard what we’d done.” Geoff’s voice goes cold and steely in a way that Gavin remembers hearing in the memories he’d shown him and he shivers a little. But it’s not fear that creeps up his spine. It’s a morbid sort of curiosity- wanting to see just how far Geoff can push his power. Wanting to be on the receiving end of the rage that he can feel boiling just under his calm demeanor.

“Do you think that’s what happened?”

“No. I don’t think that’s what it was at all. I’m almost positive it was Jeremy.” He mutters. “A few people who’ve been brave enough to go back to the ruins told me that it reeks of Blight there now. That there are strange black vines growing over everything.”

“It was him.” Gavin hums, tapping his fingers on the table.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.” He nods. “That’s what the corruption around Ryan’s light looks like. Jeremy used to love plants…” Geoff looks him over slowly with a little frown. “He would bring me flowers from the woods all the time.” He laughs a little, but grief sits heavy in his heart. “There was one he found- gods, Geoff, it was beautiful… And he was so excited to bring it home. He was so careful with it. He dug it out of the ground and planted it next to my window for my birthday.” The realization that he finally remembers his own  _ birthday _ hits him hard. “It was springtime…” He whispers. “We always celebrate in the fall because that’s when I came here.”

“Gavin?” Geoff puts a hand on his shoulder. “We don’t have to do this now… It’s okay. We have time.” He wipes away a tear and Gavin sniffles. “I know it’s a lot.”

“No. No it’s alright.” Gavin takes a deep breath and sets his cup down. “Let’s just get it over with.” Geoff hesitates before taking his hands gently.

“If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure.”

It’s much easier today, letting Geoff into his head- and Gavin takes a look of his own at  _ him _ , looking for his light. His heart drops when he finds it though. It always looks so bright when he sees it shining through his eyes or his tattoos but here it seems duller- a weak little blue flame that seems to grow a little brighter when he reaches out for it cautiously. But before he can get any closer he’s thrown back to the cellar with Jeremy.

_ “I-I’m going to make it better. I can fix this!” Jeremy sobs, holding his face in both hands. “I can fix it-” _ Gavin grits his teeth around the pain that hits him, but gasps and opens his eyes when it leaves him in a rush- leaving him feeling cold and hollow.

“Gavin?” He can hear Geoff’s voice, but it feels far away, and even though he’s looking right at him, it’s almost like he can’t see him at all. “Gavin, where are you  _ Kjæreste _ ? Can you hear me?”

“I can hear you.” His voice comes out raspy- he almost doesn’t sound like himself.

“Where are you?”

“I- I don’t know. There’s nothing- I- Jeremy’s crying.” He whispers. “He thinks I’m dead. I think… I think I might be.”

“What?”

“If I’m not dead, I’m dying.” Suddenly, Geoff comes back into focus and Gavin blinks in the too bright light of only a few candles.

“Are you alright?”

“I think so.” He rubs his eyes and groans. “That was bizarre. I-” He breaks off as the memory keeps going, and he feels himself sit up slowly in Jeremy’s arms, hugging him tight and assuring him that he’s okay. They don’t stay in the cellar of the Dooley’s small cabin much longer, between the exhaustion he can feel in his bones, and Jeremy’s fear, neither of them want to stay. Jeremy keeps an arm around his waist as they walk back through the small village together- someone calls out to them, but it’s a sweeter voice than the ones he’s used to now in the city. Just asking how he’s feeling. And he answers that he’s starting to feel better. The woman wishes the both of them well and Jeremy helps him sneak back into his home through the back door.

Jeremy helps him into bed and sits next to him, holding his hand and running his fingers through his hair until he falls into an uneasy sleep.

“Do you want to stop?” Geoff asks softly.

“No. I can keep going.” Geoff hesitates, but hurries him through the next few days- spent sleeping with Jeremy beside him now that he’s sick too. But then he’s being shaken awake, and Jeremy’s standing over him, out of breath with a sort of manic energy that makes him nervous- both in his memory and in the present. Before he can really protest, he’s tugged out of bed and led back to the cabin.

“Ready?” Geoff whispers, squeezing his hands tight. “This one’s worse.” He warns.

“I’m ready.”

This time- Gavin  _ does _ scream, and he hears Geoff’s breath hitch when he squeezes his hands tighter. Pain rips up from his side and in the haze of it he realizes that this must have been what he did to Ryan a few days ago.

He can hear Jeremy begging him to stay awake just a little longer- can feel him holding something against his side, a bowl maybe, to collect his blood. He’s promising he’ll fix it, he just needs a minute. Just a few minutes and he’ll make it better. Gavin can feel himself fading and his light fighting desperately to keep him alive. Then, just as suddenly as the last time, the pain is gone.

“F-Fuck-” He pants, holding his side against the phantom pain there and leaning forward to rest his head on Geoff’s shoulder.

“I’ve got you.” Geoff’s arm wraps around his shoulders and pulls him in closer. “You’re alright. I’m here.”

“Just a little more.” He fights back tears when he sees Jeremy scrambling to dress the wound in his side. “It- It feels hazy again.”

“It’s the bloodloss.” Geoff murmurs in his ear. He doesn’t let up though, and Gavin notices his light tinting the memory blue. “Are you sure you don’t want to stop? I don’t know what came after this.”

“I’m sure. This may have been when I left… When I got here, it was still bad. I always thought I got this scar here.”

“You must have gotten here a lot faster than I thought then. Maybe you had some help along the way.” No sooner does Geoff finish speaking than does the haze lift from his memory.

Jeremy’s got his back to him when he pushes himself up so that he’s sitting on the table and he touches his side gingerly as he stands.

“Gav?” Jeremy whips around when the floorboards creak under his feet and he rushes to sit him down again. “Don’t try to get up yet. I-I’ll help you get home once I’m done here. Won’t be long.”

“I’ll be fine love.” Gavin leans in to kiss him on the cheek and heads for the stairs.

“Gavin wait-! You can’t go alone!” Jeremy scrambles to follow him, his voice frantic.

“I don’t need your help.” Gavin snaps and feels his magic spark at his fingertips when Jeremy reaches for him. “Leave me alone.”

“N-No- no Gavin, I’m sorry. I’m sorry! I only did what I had to do- please don’t leave.” Jeremy begs, grabbing his hand.

“Stop!” When Gavin shouts Jeremy jerks back and covers his ears, falling to his knees with a gasp. “Don’t. Touch. Me.” He warns.

“I-I’m sorry-”

“I don’t want to hear it.” Gavin kneels in front of him and grabs him by the chin, forcing him to look up into his eyes. “I love you Jeremy. And I always will. But if you follow me I swear on the Old Gods I will kill you.” Jeremy’s eyes go wide and he stammers for a moment before Gavin stands again with some effort and makes his way up the stairs and back out into the night.

He pauses at the next street, the main four corners of his tiny town, dark and sleeping while he bleeds- while something  _ evil _ grows in the person he loves, and just looks around. He can see his home with one little light in the window and feels his heart break as he heads that direction slowly.

He pushes the front door open carefully, knowing that the hinge needs to be oiled. He lets out a slow breath once it’s shut behind him, and makes his way to his bedroom, his hands shaking as he picks up a bag and packs a precious few possessions.

In the kitchen, Gavin finds a scrap of paper and scribbles a hasty ‘ _ I love you _ ’ before he hears his parent’s bedroom door open and carefully kicks his bag under the table.

“Gavin?” His mother yawns, coming out slowly. “What are you doing up?”

“Just getting a drink.” He whispers, his voice still scratchy from screaming.

“Your light looks better.” She smiles, coming over to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Sleep well.”

“I love you.” He whispers, hugging his mother close.

“I love you too darling.” She gives him a squeeze before pulling back to hold him by the shoulders and look him in the eye. “Are you alright dear? It looks like there’s something troubling you.”

“Just worried is all. Still not feeling well.”

“If you’re sure you’re alright… Can you get back to bed on your own?”

“I think so.” Gavin can’t help but hug his mother again, tighter than he should and wincing a little when she hugs him back. His side hurts. Though- he’s starting to forget why…

“Good night Gavin. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The second his mother’s bedroom door closes, he scoops his bag up from the floor and sucks a breath in through his teeth when the pain in his side flares. He resolves to have a doctor look at it in the morning… 

“I left that night-” He gasps. “I- I just  _ left _ . I was already forgetting.”

“That soon?” Geoff frowns.

“I think… I think I’d forgotten my mother by the time I’d left town…” Gavin chokes on the memory. It’s too fuzzy and even as Geoff leads him gently through the next few days. Everything’s covered in a smoky haze that he can’t seem to shake, even with Geoff’s light guiding him through it.

“Where are you going? Does any of it look familiar to you?”

“No… I-” Gavin breaks off with a gasp and his back goes stiff.

“Gavin?” When he opens his mouth to speak again all that comes out at first is a desperate wheezing gasp but then the pain comes back and he screams. “Gavin! Come on back darling- follow me back. I’ve got you.” Geoff’s magic wraps around him bright and soothing away the burn that crawls up his marks. “Come with me  _ Kjæreste _ . I’m not going to let you go.” 

“I-I can’t! I’m- I’m stuck!”

“No you’re not. Come with me.” Geoff sounds panicked now and Gavin sees him- bathed in blue light, hand extended. “It’s alright, I’ve got you.” When Geoff’s fingers brush his own, Gavin’s snapped back to the cellar and he gasps as he falls forward into his arms.

“G-Geoff?”

“Shh… You’re alright. You’re okay.” Geoff whispers against his cheek, just holding him tight.

“What happened?”

“We went too deep.” He sighs, pulling back and running his fingers through his hair gently. “We need to stop here… I’m sorry.”

“That… That’s alright.” Gavin murmurs, looking down. “At least I know where I came from now.”

“If it was safe I’d show you the rest. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay Geoffrey.” Gavin smiles and leans forward to kiss him sweetly. “You gave me more than anyone’s ever been able to. You gave me my life back. ”


	31. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay. I had a full breakdown and I've been out of commission for about two and a half weeks. Still not really on the up and up so I'll just update when I can.
> 
> **NSFW Chapter (almost cut it tbh)

Geoff doesn’t let him go back upstairs right away, but Gavin doesn’t mind. When he tries to stand his knees shake so badly that he’s not sure he could make it up the stairs anyway. So instead, he just lets Geoff bring him down to the floor to hold him up against his chest and traces his tattoos with his fingertips.

“What are the Southlands like?” He asks softly.

“It’s beautiful there.” Geoff sighs with a smile, the longing for his homeland clear in his voice. “It’s sad though. We were torn apart by the war. Before the northern kingdom came, I never saw hate for our kind. Not like this anyway… Sure there are always going to be people who hate for no reason, but it was  _ nothing _ like it is now when I was a child.”

“Were both of your parents Witches too?”

“Yes. And we used to be a well respected family.” Geoff chuckles. “Ma was a healer, dad wasn’t around much when I was growing up, but when he was home it was great.” Geoff squeezes him a little tighter. “He died on the road when I was still pretty young, but ma remarried and her second husband was just as kind and loving. Ryan’s family wasn’t keen on me at first, but they warmed up to me when they saw how fiercely we protected each other when the war started.”

“Was your city involved in the fighting?”

“Not the town I grew up in, thank the gods. Our families were safe enough, but the city we moved to, the one I showed you, most of that had to be rebuilt. As much as I grew to hate that city, it’s a tragedy to know that it fell…”

“Will you ever go back? Not to that city, but to the southlands?”

“Someday. Probably. I’d like to see my family again, and I’m sure Ryan would too. Would you like to go with us?” Gavin turns to look up at Geoff properly and his heart jumps when he sees his fond little smile.

“I think I’d like that.” He smiles.

“That makes me very happy darling.” Geoff pulls him up for a kiss. “Think you can stand now?”

“I think so. As long as you’re here to help me.”

“Of course.” Geoff stands first and stretches, groaning when his joints pop and Gavin laughs when he offers a hand to help him to his feet. “Hungry?”

“I could eat.” He hums, leaning against Geoff’s shoulder as they leave the cellar.

“Wait-” Geoff stops short and puts a hand on Gavin’s chest to stop him as well.

“What is it?” He whispers.

“Do you hear that?” Geoff stifles a laugh and Gavin strains to hear what he’s talking about.

“I don’t-” He starts but then he hears a little whine from Michael that he recognizes all too well. “Shameless.” He laughs quietly, shaking his head.

“Should we leave them to it?”

“I think I’ll go look in on them and make sure they’re alright.” Gavin smirks.

“I’ll get dinner started.” Geoff chuckles, kissing him quickly.

“You sure you don’t want to come too?”

“I don’t think I could keep up with all three of you right now.” Geoff laughs and kisses him again, slower this time- leaving an intoxicating little burst of his magic lingering on his lips when he pulls away. “I’ve still got work to do with Michael tonight.”

“Fair enough.” Gavin smiles as Geoff turns for the kitchen and he goes to Ryan’s door- pressing his ear to the wood and listening to the soft, almost hesitant moans and quiet whispers of praise.

“Ryan-” Michael’s gasp is cut off by a little moan and that’s the moment Gavin chooses to push the door open, his breath stolen when he sees Michael in Ryan’s lap. The blankets bunched up around them make it difficult for Gavin to determine if Ryan’s inside him or not but his next punched out moan makes it  _ abundantly _ clear that he is. One of Ryan’s eyes opens a little and he smirks before putting his hands on Michael’s waist and pulling him down as he thrusts up- drawing another pretty moan from him.

“Hush now. We don’t want to disturb Gavvy and Geoff, do we darling?” Ryan teases.

“Th-They’re downstairs.” Michael laughs breathlessly, rolling his hips down slowly, unaware of Gavin sneaking up behind him. “They’ll probably be at it for a while yet.”

“Will we love?” Gavin coos in his ear, kneeling on the bed behind Michael and wrapping his arms around his chest.

“ _ F-Fuck _ -” Michael gasps, letting his head fall back against Gavin’s shoulder. “W-When did you get here Gavvy?”

“Haven’t been here long.” He sighs, kissing his shoulder softly. “I’d almost forgotten how lovely you look like this. Haven’t seen you riding a cock in ages. Are you treating my boy right Ryan?”

“He’s so good-” Michael moans as Gavin rests a hand low on his belly, almost touching his cock.

“Don’t worry. I’m not gonna rough him up too bad.” Ryan smirks. Gavin can see the way his fingers dig into Michael’s hips and if it weren’t such an alluring sight, he would have been jealous. Though he’s not entirely sure of  _ who _ . 

“I think I’d like to see you try.” He laughs. “Think you two would be a pretty even match.”

“Give me a few days.” Ryan groans.

“You close love?” He keeps one hand on Michael, but leans down to kiss Ryan soundly, smiling against his lips when he moans and nods. “Glad I got here when I did. Wouldn’t want to miss that. What about you Michael? Are you going to come for us?”

“Not yet-” Michael tangles his fingers in his hair and pulls him back up for a kiss of his own. “I want to fuck you. And I want him to  _ watch _ .”

“ _ Gods- _ ” Ryan’s voice catches and Gavin sees his fingers dig deeper into Michael’s hips. “ _ Fuck _ .” He pants when Michael laughs and grinds down again.

“That’s all it takes?” He teases and Ryan whines in the back of his throat, his light flashing bright in his eyes.

“You’re both- goddamn you’re not to be trusted together are you?”

“No worse than you and Geoffrey, love. You know, I’m still waiting for the two of you to deliver on your promises from that first night I was here.”

“Oh we will.” Ryan pants, grinning up at him but wincing a little when Michael gets up out of his lap with a moan.

“Gavvy. C’mere.” He huffs, grabbing Gavin by the shoulder and pushing him down to pin him on his back. “Any requests?” He asks, looking over at Ryan with a raised eyebrow when he scoots over to the far side of the bed to give them room.

“Do whatever you want.” Ryan chuckles. “I just want to hear him scream again.” Michael grins- something sharp and dangerous that makes Gavin’s heart race with nothing short of excitement.

“Hear that Gavvy? I get to do whatever I want with you.” Michael touches his cheek gently, then runs his fingertips down his throat. “And we don’t have to worry about waking the whole temple when I make you scream for me. Won’t that be nice?”

“Please-” He can barely raise his voice above an excited whisper, and when Michael’s fingers wrap around his throat he  _ moans _ .

Where Ryan had started slow and gentle with him, Michael knows him better- knows just how far he can push him without making him uncomfortable, knows every inch of his body just as well as his own- and he falls into the familiar rhythm of his kisses easily, bucking up against him.

“So. Ryan doesn’t mind what we do.” Michael groans against his throat. “What do  _ you _ want?”

“You know what I like.” He laughs.

“Damn right I do.” Michael practically growls, tugging Gavin’s pants down around his thighs and biting a trail of bruises down his stomach. “Did Geoff fuck you?” He asks, his breath hot against Gavin’s hip.

“No- not today.”

“Shame. Would have been nice to just slide right inside you.” Michael’s fingers trail down his belly slowly and he rubs his thumb over his clit gently, making him gasp and arch his back. “Remember when Jack and I shared you?” He smirks up at him.

“How could I forget?” When Michael licks into him, Gavin squirms.

“Tell me.” Ryan coos, sliding an arm under his shoulders and leaning in to kiss his temple. “Tell me what Jack and Michael did to you darling.”

“I had him-” Michael starts, but Ryan cuts him off.

“No, no. Let Gavvy tell me.” He chuckles, reaching down to tangle his fingers in Michael’s hair. “That pretty mouth has more important things to attend to.” He smirks as he guides Michael down between Gavin’s thighs.

“G-Gods-” Gavin can’t help the way he bucks and squirms when Michael groans and gets to work licking him open slowly. “M-Michael h-had my hands tied up b-behind my head-” He pants around his moans. “W-We were being quiet but J-Jack still heard and c-came in while Michael was-” He breaks off with a whine when Michael sucks  _ hard _ on his clit and looks up at him through his lashes.

“While Michael was what  _ vähän valoa _ ?” Ryan prompts gently- teasing.

“Yeah Gavvy. While I was what?” Michael pants against him.

“W-While he was fucking me.” Gavin squeezes his eyes shut when Michael slips two fingers into him and licks around them eagerly.

“And what did Jack do when he saw you trussed up all pretty?” Ryan keeps him close, holding his head against his shoulder, giving him little kisses now and then.

“H-He locked the door- a-and joined us. After Michael came in me-” both of the men holding him down moan at that, “-J-Jack took his place. D-Didn’t even give me a moment to rest.” He pouts a little.

“You were begging for it.” Michael huffs and bites his inner thigh before crooking his fingers up and making him gasp.

“W-Wait-” He moans.

“Close?” Ryan teases and he nods, burying his face in his shoulder. “Now, now. Don’t hide.”

“He gets shy when he comes.” Michael leans over him and kisses up his throat- still fucking him on his fingers. “Isn’t that right Gavvy? Don’t like it when other people can hear you come, do you?” Gavin bites his lip and shakes his head. “Come on. You can be loud here- can’t he Ryan?”

“Of course. That’s it- let me hear you. You didn’t have any problems screaming for me did you? Come for Michael darling.” Gavin’s back arches as he tenses up, and despite his insistence to hear him scream, Ryan covers his noises with a deep kiss. Before he pulls away- before Gavin even has a chance to catch his breath- Michael pulls his fingers out and grabs him by the hips.

“Roll over.” He orders breathlessly. Ryan helps Gavin move, pulling him up to straddle his lap as Michael moves up behind him. “Wonder if you could take us both.” He whispers in his ear, so quiet that Gavin’s almost sure Ryan can’t hear. But when he groans and tightens his grip on his waist, he knows that he has. “Like the sound of that Ryan?” Michael teases.

“Thought about trying it with Geoff.” Ryan chuckles and Gavin gasps as Michael pushes into him with one long thrust.

“I’d like to see that.” Michael, much to Gavin’s delight, doesn’t hold back just because they have an audience- a  _ very _ interested audience if the way his cock twitches against his stomach is any indication.

“G-God-” He moans against Ryan’s chest. “Y-You’re going to kill me- the lot of you-”

“Oh don’t be so dramatic Gavvy. You’re the one who asked for it after all.” Michael kisses the back of his shoulder and slides a hand around his hip to trail his fingers over his cock. “ _ Fuck _ \- you feel so good. You always do.”

“M-Michael-!”

“What is it, gorgeous? What do you need?” Gavin feels Michael smiling against his throat and he laughs- breathless and so far beyond  _ happy _ that he doesn’t even have a word for it.

“J-Just s-stay like that love-” He gasps.

“Gonna come for him again?” Ryan runs his fingers through his hair before tipping his face up and leaning down for a kiss, and all he can do is nod, panting against Ryan’s lips and digging his nails into his shoulder. “That’s it  _ Kjæreste _ .” Gavin can’t even form words as he comes a second time- it’s almost too much, he’s almost too over sensitive, but he bites his tongue against the urge to beg Michael to stop and gasps when he feels him come with a breathy curse against his shoulder.

“I love you Gavvy.” Michael whispers, kissing his cheek gently.

“I love you too.” He smiles back, sighing when he pulls out.

“I’ll go see if Geoff needs any help in the kitchen.” Ryan chuckles softly, kissing them both on the forehead before climbing out of bed carefully and getting dressed with a little more ease than Gavin’s seen from him over the last few days.

“Are you okay?” Michael asks, cupping his cheek gently.

“I’m fine, love.”

“You’re crying…” He frowns.

“Good tears.” Gavin assures him, leaning in for a kiss. “Can we just stay here for a minute?”

“Of course we can.” Michael wraps him up in his arms, and Gavin lays against his chest gratefully, pushing down the wave of nausea he feels when he thinks about how little time they might have left together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said at the top of the chapter, I'm still not really in the best place so I'll update when I can. I'll try to stick to Sundays but I can't make any promises.
> 
> I hope you all have a merry Christmas/ happy holiday of your choice and a happy New Year though!!


	32. Programming Note 1/22/21

Morning all.

I’ve got some unfortunate news. Come the end of February, this fic will be taken down to make way for a total rewrite that’s in the works.

I’ve been having a rough time of trying to finish this with the circumstances and I’ve elected to go back to my roots, in a way, by reworking a story that I really loved working on into an original work- one with deeper lore, and a more solid foundation.

SLM was never meant to be as long as it’s gotten. It started as a couple paragraphs for a friend and spiraled into over 100k words and nearly a year of work.

It was a difficult decision to make, but it needed to be done. And I’m hoping that with this rewrite I can reach further than I have before.

Follow along for updates on Twitter @ alexander__reid 

_ Du er mitt lys _ . You are my light.

-Alexander R. Peterson


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